A/N: I don't own Glee nor the characters within. Well, this came out of nowhere, is incredibly rough (as I wrote it in one go), was supposed to be simple but got completely away from me (don't they all?), but at least I finished it. :D (I also want to disclaim that all I've seen of Dani has been in gifsets, so... How does one become such a shipper just through those?)
In the beginning, Rachel really was happy for Santana. It was nice to see her friend being happy again, and the way her face lit up whenever she was around Dani was just too adorable. So when Rachel tried to get the two together, she'd been completely serious about it.
Only, as the weeks went by and Dani and Santana started getting closer, meshing as two people do in a relationship, ugly thoughts started rising up in the back of Rachel's mind. Jealous thoughts. Thoughts like, you never expected the two to last, did you? Maybe you expected Dani wouldn't be serious and break Santana's heart so you could be there for her. Maybe you weren't as happy for Santana as you thought you were. Thoughts that haunted her sleepless mind and in the free moments she had to herself whenever she was around the two.
But for as long as she could, Rachel didn't let those thoughts get to her. No, she really was happy for Santana; she was just envious that Santana had someone, which made Rachel the only odd man out anymore. No, Santana and Dani looked amazing together, and yes, they fit, which, honestly, they really, really did.
Even so, it wasn't enough to stop the ugly feelings from growing.
It was obvious Santana was oblivious, probably too close to Rachel to see it. But slowly, as Rachel's thin rein started cracking, she realized Dani was starting to notice, that just as slowly, tension was rising between the two. Rachel hated herself for that happening. What kind of best friend would she be if she couldn't get along with her best friend's girlfriend? And honestly, there was nothing Rachel could see wrong that she could use as impetus for discussing with Santana misgivings about her relationship with Dani. Nothing. And Rachel had found herself looking.
By the time Rachel had reached the point she couldn't lie to herself anymore, it seemed like she was always fighting with Santana, shouting whenever Santana would blow off something in favor of seeing Dani, even if it wasn't warranted, and bursting into tears whenever she was safely alone in her part of the loft. She felt like she was losing Santana, their friendship, the closeness they had, and it was killing her that Santana didn't even know why. But how could she explain that, to keep herself healthy, she had to push Santana away? How could Santana accept that without pushing for the underlying reason?
The evening they had their worst fight yet, Rachel had dragged herself to the door, barely bothering to wipe the tears from her eyes. Expecting it to be the delivery she'd ordered, instead, standing in the doorway, eyes dark and staring intently at her, was Dani. "I'm coming in," she breezed, pushing herself in without waiting for an invitation. Turning as soon as she'd crossed the threshold, she stated with finality, "We need to talk."
Rachel closed the door. Pulling herself up straight, she stopped herself from crossing her arms defensively across her chest, instead meeting Dani's eyes coldly. "About what?" she barely bothered to say convincingly.
"About this." Striding forward, Dani's hands were suddenly on either side of Rachel's face, fingernails catching slightly in her hair. She tilted Rachel's chin up to move her into position, covering Rachel's gasp with her mouth.
There was a beat of nothing, and then, like ripping off a band-aid, heat slammed into Rachel's body, feeling heavy and too much like betrayal, and by the time Rachel found herself reacting to the warm, knowledgeable lips, Dani stepped back.
"Whoah," she gasped raggedly, staring at Rachel, "Even more than I expected."
"What?" Rachel managed, having to clear her throat. Uncomfortably, her body wanted her to close the distance and kiss Dani again.
Shaking her head, Dani lifted her hand to run it through her hair. "Damn, makes it even easier."
"Makes what easier?" Anger was starting to curl up through Rachel's chest and throat, outrage a familiar feeling to turn to, "Dani?"
Dani laughed, barely sounding amused. Still looking surprised, she started again, "Rachel, I know you're in love with Santana."
In love? Rachel's face went white. She wasn't in love with Santana! She couldn't be! "I'm not - "
"But I'm in love with her too, and I know she loves me too. But something I also know that she doesn't...?" Approaching Rachel again, making Rachel tense and pull into herself even as her hands flexed, her lips tightening, Dani paused. "She's…" She reached out, fingers barely brushing against Rachel's hand before pulling back, as if to the safety of her own body, "In love with you, too."
Rachel swallowed. That wasn't true. She looked anywhere except at Dani. It couldn't be true. She forced her hand to lie limp and not curl her fingers into her palm. She felt sick. Her heart had jumped at Dani's words, and she, she – what did that make her? She was a horrible person.
"I don't... I don't know what you're talking about," she finally managed. "She… She doesn't." Yes. That was the right thing to say. Because Santana didn't. She didn't.
"Rachel." Dani sighed. Looking away, she pushed her hand through her hair again, sliding her palm down to squeeze the back of her neck; closing her eyes, she dropped her hand, shook her head, and then strode forward again, sliding her hands onto either side of Rachel's shoulders. "Okay, look, I'm going to ask you something. Something that, if you want, I'll never bring up again. But," she studied Rachel's eyes, looking so intense, so serious, that it made Rachel's heart thump harder in her chest, "I have to ask you. I can't not. Because you know what? I want to make Santana happy. I want to make her happy, and I want to do it in a way I won't have to let her go." Her grip tightened, "Because even if she doesn't realize it, you make her happy just as much as I do. You know where she is right now? In my apartment, exhausted from crying. I had to tell her I was going to pick up her favorite ice cream flavor to get her to let me leave."
Rachel closed her eyes. "I made her cry?" she whispered. Already barely suppressed tears burned against her eyelids.
"She thinks she's losing you."
She thinks she's losing you.
Like how Rachel feels like she's losing Santana?
A sob escaped her lips. "I..." Rachel's voice broke, "I'm so sorry." Her heart hurt. Her head hurt. And unsurprisingly, she was crying again.
"Oh, I'm such a stud. Magnet for ladies in distress." Sighing, half-smiling, Dani pulled Rachel closer, gently wrapping her arms around her shoulders.
Still hating herself, Rachel leaned into her. She was warm and smelled nice, and Rachel was so confused. Shouldn't Dani be mad at her for upsetting her girlfriend? For making her girlfriend cry?
"Look," Dani hesitantly rubbed the top of Rachel's back, "I'll get right to the point. Can you hear me?"
Sniffling, Rachel nodded. She didn't want to look at the other girl. She barely wanted to acknowledge she was being comforted by her in the first place. Dani didn't need to do this at all. Didn't need to care about her at all. So why was she? And… And what was that kiss about?
"Good." Pulling back, stubbornly waiting for Rachel to meet her eyes, Dani tilted her head, her lips in a straight line. "Do you know why I'm here?" She didn't wait for an answer, "To bring you back to my apartment with me."
What? Rachel jerked.
"So I can sit you two down, make you work out your problems." Tightening her jaw, Dani closed her eyes and nodded again, then exhaled deeply. Returning her attention to Rachel, her expression slowly, for the first time, started to turn nervous and unsure, a little lost even as she was obviously trying so hard to keep her cool. Abruptly letting Rachel go to take a couple of steps back, she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket. Barely, almost not quite smiling, her eyes met Rachel's again. "And then talk about the three of us."