Story: I Am Not Your Rebound.
Pairing(s): RP Lea/ FP Beth Corcoran; Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry,
Rating: M/NC-17 ratings. With some filler crap known as plot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Ryan Murphy's characters, motherhood in general. I don't own any of the real actors of Glee or others, either (that would be kind of creepy if I did), specifically: Lea Michele. Demi Lovato. That hot chick from Rent. The hot mess that is Myley Cyrus. The Hippocratic oath. Yellow Jell-O
A/N: You asked for it - you got it! See, stalking works! So, In the Shell Collector universe, I decided to pencil a story arc about Beth/Lea, and may even stick to a sequential story this time - miracles can happen. Reviews are love, even the creepy and cowardly anon ones - so please review! Hey, a reviewer gave me this idea in the first place...its appreciated.
Prequel: The Celluloid Shell, Redeux, and New Beginnings.
He felt like he was just here.
Artie sipped his latte, slowly. Over the billowing mounds of foam, he peered out towards his coffee date, the petite and beautiful brunette, with soulful brown eyes.
Soulful brown eyes that were pleading with him, at the moment.
It was so deja vu, all over again.
"Do you know how much you remind me of Rachel Berry, in this very moment?"
She laughed, an easy laugh. "I get that a lot. However, since you actually know us both, enlighten me...is it working?"
He sighed. "I wish it was, Lea. But honest to God, it's...not going to happen."
"Why?"
"Have you seen the movie 'Rent'? No, you haven't. Neither did anyone else. Look, its true what they say...the camera adds 10 pounds. What they don't tell you is it adds 15 years..."
"What are you saying, Artie?"
"Don't you dare box me in, munchkin. I love all of you, I do. But I don't think anyone past thirty, which you are now, should be prancing around as a high school ingenue. It's like the sonic sound barrier." He was of course, referring to the iconic role she had originated in "The Shell Collector," the Tony award winning musical he had directed her in a few years back. She had played Rachel Berry in her high school years, to Beth Corcoran's Quinn Fabray.
She had an odd smile.
"I agree, Artie."
Artie did a double take. Most actress were not fond of being informed of their aging state.
Lea continued. "However, audiences would buy me as a college student and the early Broadway years...they do every Thursday night at 9pm eastern standard time, after all."
"When your damn show's not on hiatus, anyway..."He grumbled. "Hate that!" Then it dawned on him, what she was suggesting. "Wait a minute...Act II? Are you planning on assassinating Rachel Berry?"
She laughed. "I think she's invulnerable to assassination, or death by any other means, actually." She leaned forward. "No, Rachel's herself...in Act III."
"What happens to Act I?"
"Nothing."
"Well, if you're Rachel Act II, and Rachel's Rachel Act III, who's Rachel Act I?"
"I haven't figured that out, but I know who Baby Q is."
"Enlighten Me."
"Emma Roberts, with contacts."
He paused. "Hmm. Could be. But you don't know if she's even interested."
"She's interested."
"You know this, how?"
"I asked her, when she guested last week." Lea said, matter of factly.
"I see. Who else have you cast?"
"Are you ready? Act II is the comeback of..." She leaned forward, conspiratorially. "...Beth Corcoran."
"Okay. Right after the Monkeys fly out of my ass. Next. Who is Quinn old?"
"Betty White."
"Interesting..."
She smacked him. "No, douf. Not Betty White, even if she would kick ass. No, this is where I'm genus: Old Quinn is played by the REAL old Quinn!"
"What?"
"Artie, I saw the tapes of your national victory - the memory lane one? Yes, Rachel is the star, no doubt. But my God, Quinn...she's magnetic. Think - just months prior to that performance, she was not even ambulatory! And then... wow! You can't take your eyes off of her!"
Artie's pride was still a bit sore from that whole era. "Yeah," He acknowledged, tightly.
"C'mon. She's the camera's darling. She is!"
"Yes, she is. She's Quinn Fabray, after all."
Noticing the change in his body language, she changed the subject. "So, let's talk about how you're going to get Beth casted..."
"How do you propose, Lea, to get Beth to sign on to this little project? Its 180 degrees apart from what she's doing now, she has no interest in acting, anymore. You remember that little thing called the Hippocratic oath?"
"She would, if you pledge 10% of the profits to Stacy's House Organizational Fund."
"Well, you've thought this through." He shook his head. "Why her? Why does it have to be her?"
"Did you read her op-ed in the New England Journal of Medicine? No? Of course not. No one in show business reads anything of that magnitude."
"And yet, you seem to have done so."
"Hmm. Well..."
"Or, was it the by-line?"
"Well, it was so well written, so mature, and she made me believe in reform of the health care system - so that all people would be looked at fairly. People wouldn't be judged, on where they've been...or what their mental abilities are...all people would have access to care, mental health, all of it, regardless of their ability to pay, or..."
"...Or if they're recovering addicts." He interrupted.
Her jaw tensed up. "Or that, yes."
"Look, Lea, I get it. The two of you really bonded during the play, and then she was gone, she quit. She went back to her real doctor life. I know- it wasn't the same for you. And now, you've both suffered loss- profound loss- that's obviously driving you to reconnect. But Lea, wouldn't it be simpler to just call her up and have lunch with her? Renew your friendship?"
Lea gave him a stony look.
"Well, I'm just sayin'...is it really necessary to create an entire production around a movie that's going to flop, all so you can renew your BFF status with Beth?"
"It won't flop, Artie."
"NO ONE wants to see a bunch of yapping...women yapping...lesbian women yapping...angry lesbian women yapping!"
"That's where you're wrong. Everyone wants to see that! Especially if it's sexy angry lesbian women yapping."
"At its core, its kind of boring. Its dull for movies. But I give you this, Ms. L, I does have me a weakness for women, especially if it's sexy angry lesbian women yapping...sexily."
"Sexily? Is that even a word?"
"Does it convey what I'm feelin', dawg?"
Lea visibly shuddered. "Do not ever utter that phrase again, in your natural lifetime, Artie."
"Hey, I'm the director. I get to be eccentric and nerdy."
"Mmm. It's just that its such a slippery slope down from "eccentric" into the "creepy" and "Norman Bates" purvue, however, Dawg. Besides, why you hatin' on these women? I thought you loved the Shell Collector gals!"
"I do love them. I loved them when it was actually happening the first time, and I loved the Q Recap. I even love Faberry 3.0. But I'm the minority of the movie going audience."
"Well, Artie, you're a genius. Figure out how to make it the majority. Let's make a movie!"
He sighed. Somehow, he knew, he was going to be swept up in the brand of Lea Crazy that was necessary to get this show on the road. God help them all.
XOXOXOX
Artie would call it the "Rachel Berry Phenomenon" later in life...anyone that came close to touching the orb of fire that was Rachel, if you circled her universe, some of her magic would even rub off on you. You might even be able to pull off the occasional Rachel Berry miracle. He watched Lea plot, scheme, cajole, and outright bribe those necessary to get the movie made and cast. Quinn even signed on as long as she didn't have to do frontal nudity. Beth however, was the expected challenge, but oddly Lea never approached her head on.
She was brilliant. She had Sue do it.
It wasn't difficult - the back end promise to Stacy's House was a no-brainer. Artie scripted his envisioned the coersive conversation between the former coach and her former non-HBIC to resemble something like this:
Sue: Beth. It's Sylvester.
Beth: I know. I have caller ID. Also, you're on my speed dial. And, I talk to you, like, every day.
Sue: (disregarding Beth's rant) So, that amped up fake Rachel Hollyweird ferret who bugs me in a manner very analogous to the actual real Rachel Berry ferret called me for the fifteenth time, yesterday.
Beth: (laughing). Lea? Is this about that movie thing?
Sue: They made an offer we can't refuse.
Beth: Sue, I'm a little busy these days.
Sue: (Silent)
Beth: Sue, if you haven't heard, I'm a resident. I'm busy.
Sue: Beth...
Beth: Oh, shit. This isn't going to be one of those things where you ask me to do it for you, and I'm forced into doing it?
Sue: No, Beth. This is going to be one of those times where I ask you to do it, for YOU. And then you'll do it.
Beth: I have a life. It involves saving other lives.
Sue: Beth, I promise you, People will still be stupid and get sick and still tempt the grim reaper from their own pitiful miserable life's choices, and will be waiting for you when you get back. You'll manage their putrid lives and give them an extra 15 miserable days, weeks, years that they don't deserve, upon your return. Corcoran, they'll still be dying for god's sakes! You, however, could use a sabbatical. Your Chief Resident told me you're going to get the residency program put on probation because you insist on working more than 80 hours a week on a regular basis.
Beth: I don't clock it. So the AAMC can suck it.
Sue: Beth- I'm asking. You need a life. Come to Hollyweird and read for this movie.
Beth: When?
Sue: They have a plane for you tomorrow.
Beth: (groaning) Tomorrow?
Sue: Did I stutter?
Beth: But...its my call night, and its yellow jello day in the cafeteria! I waited all week for this!
Sue: Yellow jello? I have nothing to say to that. Be on the plane, Corcoran. After that yellow jello comment, I'm thinking, its imperative.
Beth: But...
Sue: I am having people come pick you up tomorrow 6am sharp. Do not hide. I will find you. That's how Sue...
Beth: "C"'s it. Bah! (disgruntled) Fine! Damn it.
XOXOXOX
Artie was such a magnificent director because he had been such an astute observer of life. He caught the little things no one else did. He watched, he reflected, he observed, and he wasn't afraid to implement his observations into practice, drawing out what no one else noticed.
So, while Lea gave lip service and did the press junket about how she was merely "looking forward to working with Beth again" with her party line of "their commanilities from loss of loved ones" and all the other perfunctory crap in regards to their past, Artie knew better. He saw. He observed.
This wasn't about commonalities, familiarity, or any of the other pretenses Lea spewed in regards to working with her again.
Dozens of interviews to the contrary, this wasn't about that. Lea didn't want to work with Beth because of their past similarities mired in tragedy; no... as the days wore on with initial read-troughs and blocking work, he observed the shy glances Lea would cast at Beth; the blush that would come over her face when Beth would tease her; and the inexorable manner in which the two would seem to find each other on every break or bit of down time, or end up next to each other in every group photograph.
Artie observed a woman who very much did not want to remain trapped in the past...she was a woman who wanted to move forward. Badly.
Early on, he shared his thoughts with Quinn.
"What, so you think she's just using Beth?" Quinn exploded, after hearing Artie's theories about Lea's motives.
"Shhh! Keep your voice down. Can you go back to when you were the edgy, worldy-wise sounding board, producing-partner I used to have, please?"
"Do you think she's using Beth, Artie?" Quinn's eyes were burning hot. "Because I refuse to let Beth be hurt -
"Calm down, Tiger Mama! Jesus! Forget it, you can't be objective on this."
Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose, and sighed. "Yes, I can, Artie. I'm sorry. Go ahead."
"Besides, even if she wanted to tap dance on Beth's anal pucker for cheap therapy, what are you going to do, Fabray, go in all renegade? Let me order your Chaps...cause 'This here's Sheriff Fabray, and you're not gonna be molestin' my fine as frog hair daughter!' That's not going to work, Quinn."
"I know. I realize how ridiculous I sounded."
"Besides, I actually don't think Lea has one iota of self-awareness that this is what she's doing."
"Really? Then, why are you so convinced?"
"I mean, well. It's like this...the mind is an amazing organ, Quinn. It will do anything to protect its owner. While I do think that Lea's ready to move on...she can't. She lost a significant other, so tragically and unexpectedly, that wow! Shock. But now, time has passed, and she's ready to go forward with her life. But...that would make her feel so guilty, she couldn't live with herself."
They exchanged knowing looks.
"She's ready to move on, but the world is not ready to see her move on. And perhaps, she's not ready to, because she thinks she shouldn't be okay with this yet."
"So...she's sublimating." Quinn sighed. She knew a thing or two about that from her own first marriage.
"Something like that. She pushes this movie to get made, but she gives herself and Beth Act II. Act II, Quinn, the most intimate part of the story. Don't you see? She wants permission to feel all these things for someone, all of this love, and passion, and desire, but she doesn't want to feel guilty. But she wants those things, badly."
"With Beth, or anyone."
"With Beth, most definitely."
"She doesn't set off my gaydar, not even a little bitty bit, A squared."
He chuckled. "It certainly wouldn't be the first time a brunette "went gay" for a Fabray, Quinn."
"Well, what do you, the great and powerful Oz, have to say about Beth, then? Is it a two way street?"
"Good Question. I don't know, she's hard to read. Beth is so closed off nowadays, its hard to find her currency." He said, thoughtfully. After a moment, he looked at his blond producing partner earnestly. "But she reminds me of you, back in the you-and-Rachel-and-Finn-High School Musical Days."
Quinn gave him a quizzical look.
"I mean, like its deja vu again...Beth acts like she's annoyed by all of Lea's ramblings, but she's always justrightthere, next to Lea. I catch her looking at Lea, but it's very controlled. Like she's daring herself to look...or something. Like Lea is her kryptonite."
"Hmm. She sounds just like a Fabray."
"No she's just - hurt. She'll get better."
"Do not deny the Fabray in her!" Quinn said, melodramatically. "It could take weeks."
"Not if," He leaned forward in his most Hitchcockian conspiratorial impression, "you push the envelope, my dear Quinn."
"Tip the velvet?"
"Exactly."
XOXOXOX
"These rewrites...um, I don't think my agent has seen these..."Lea said, in a high pitched nervous tone.
Beth walked up to the table read with her ubiquitous cup of coffee. "What rewrites?"
"Fer Christs Sakes," Said Demi, the actress cast as Lima Adjacent. "Lea, no one wants to see your trainer-bra boobies. Please. Unless they're dispensing magnifying glasses with the tickets. This shit'd have to be on IMAX or something."
From the sidelines, Quinn whispered, "Uh oh. Should we step in"
Artie, shook his head, and put a hand across in front of Quinn to stop her intervention.
"Wait. Let this unfold and play out."
At the holding pen on the soundstage, Lea's blush was unmistakable. "My breasts are just fine, thank you! Just because I don't need to go under the knife to surgically enhance MY talents..."
Demi stepped up and looked down on the smaller brunette. "God, I'm so sick of you! Are you implying I had a boob job, or that I'm untalented?"
Lea raised her eyebrows, defiantly. "Well, if the shoe fits..."
"Let's see this shoe fit up your ass, biyatch!" Demi huffed forward, to which Beth cooly stepped between them.
"Don't spill my coffee, please, Lovato." Beth said, calmly.
Demi paused slightly. "I like you, Beth, don't get involved. Move. This is between me and the hobbit, here."
Beth looked around. "I don't see any hobbits."
Both women huffed.
"Listen, gals, I think we're all ...tired." Beth said, rationally. "We've been working some long hours, here. Catching the tail end of your..um..discussion...I think you are failing to hear each other. So if I may be so bold, as I understand it: Demi, you would like Lea to stop being so loud on set, and sounding like a frenetic hobbit."
"Yes! Exactly."
"Especially when you're a wee hung over."
"Yup."
Beth turned to face Lea. "Lea, you have essentially called Demi an untalented, breast-enhanced individual, yes?"
"I didn't say that, exactly."
Beth shot her a warning look.
"Okay, I might have implied it."
"To which, Demi took umbrage, understandably so. I think we can all agree Demi is very talented, yes?"
Lea grumbled a yes.
"However, Demi, don't protest too much when your shit, stinks, ¿lo entiendes?"
"What are you implying, Beth?"
"Really?" Beth raised her eyebrows, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Really."
Beth sighed. "Well, Demi, I commend your selection of the trans-axillary augmentation. Smart."
"Oh shit," Whispered Quinn to Artie. "She's going to go all doctor on her ass."
The young physician continued. "The incision line is hard to see. However, the potential disadvantage to this approach, and the reason it is opted for only 10-12% of the time, is that proper implant positioning is very difficult, unless performed by a skilled surgeon, using fiberoptics. And to the trained physician's eye, your left implant is placed asymmetric to your right, not following the Facial Plane."
"Goddamnit, Corcoran."
"Wow." Lea said in amazement.
"Hey, Einstein. You're so goddamned smart with that Grey's Anatomy shit. Why aren't you in the hospital, saving lives instead of with us making a stupid movie?" Demi bantered.
Beth took another drink before replying. Deliberately, she offered, "Who says I didn't just save a life, just now?"
Winking at Lea, Beth then put her arm around Demi. "Besides, there aren't any hot, very talented characters like you in the hospital, Demi. Just boring doctors and sick patients."
She gave her an air-kiss on the cheek, and walked off to finish her coffee in peace. Lea stood transfixed, with a strange smile on her face, watching the cheerleader-turned actress-turned football days
"Wow." Quinn exhaled.
"Yeah, wow." Artie agreed. "Have I failed to mention I think Beth cloned straight off of you? Is there any genetic contribution from Puck?"
"Stop diverting. When were you going to tell me about those re-writes, Artie?"
"Never."
"Gratuitous sex? Really?"
"Yep. And lots and lots of it in Act II! Q, We got the green light for an R rating yesterday! Hey, look...I'm helping the cause, sister! We grow the beard, as it were...Lea gets to rap her head around touching another human being again, Beth gets to prove she is an actual human being and not the stepford doctor, and ...hey. Have I mentioned gratuitous sex? That's a stand alone justification in my opinion. "
He grinned, and wheeled away.
XOXOXOXO
Artie was wrong. Beth was unquestionably a mix of the best and worst of her genetic parents. There was no doubt she loved women just as much as her biological father, and equally of no doubt was the fact she was as repressed as much as her biological mother, and painfully self unaware. The only reason she appeared sane with those diametrically opposing views was thanks to Shelby and her environmental contribution to her upbringing.
But any tempered response was out the window when it came to Lea.
Lea was her Kryptonite.
There was no doubt in her mind regarding the longing feelings that never quite came to fruition between the two women during the play's first run. She felt inexplicably drawn to the diminutive brunette with the easy smile; and she just seemed to blend in with Beth's extended crazy family.
For one thing, she actually was Italian, in real life.
"You mean you're not Jewish?" Said Bea, indignantly.
"Safarti. I. The terminal Italian vowel. Proof is in the pudding. Or panchetta, as it were." She said.
"Harmpfh!" The young girl stormed off, complete with a foot stomp.
Beth gave Lea a wink and a squeeze. Whispering in a confidential tone, she said to Lea quietly, "Be gentle with Bea, she just learned she's actually NOT Italian. It came as quite a shock to her."
Lea's eyes looked mirthfully at Beth. "Are you sure she's not Italian?" She said, incredulously.
"She's NOT Italian!" Screeched Santana, from across the room.
"Ignore that crazy woman." Papa Muccino said, fondly, cutting peppers. "She's drunk, again."
Santana grabbed a pepper, stomping out with a huff and a pepper in her mouth.
"I wonder where Bea gets it," said Beth, rolling her eyes.
Lea laughed headily, eyes twinkling at Beth. She gave Beth's arm a little squeeze., then rubbed the goosesteps underneath. Beth blushed, but didn't pull away.
This exchange was not lost on Shelby and Quinn, as they shot concerned looks at each other.
It was on.