Introduction
Greetings, my name is Jane Heroine Delacruz. I know what you must be thinking "Is your mom some kind of drug dealer?" and no, she is not. I think my name does make me sound like Columbian drug dealer, though. No doubt about that. But the story behind my middle name. As a child, my mother Margaret was obsessed with the super heroine Wonder Woman, she even conceived me in a phone booth…you probably didn't want to know that. My personal opinion about why she chose my middle name is simply because my mother is crazy; at times she can say the strangest things.
For example, when Margaret was talking about the birds and the bees for the first time, she explained to me "if a boy wants to get nasty with you, you say no because if you have sex now you will have babies with cone heads". Another example is when my younger sister Heidi was balancing a spoon on her nose and Margaret said to her "Your nose will become magnetized and all things metal will stick to your face. So, your father and I will know if you've gone down on someone if you come home with a belt buckle on your face".
If you think my mother is bad, Carlos is worse. My father emigrated from the Philippines over twenty years ago to Canada and he still has his 'Fresh off the Boat' accent, but the thing is he came on a plane. Anyways, when it's really quiet and everybody is doing their own thing around the house, Carlos randomly bursts out laughing, and it's weird because you don't know exactly what he's thinking about. And some days, he'll walk up to you, ask you something normal (Like, "can you run to the store and buy pickles?" and the next thing you know, he makes this really odd face. His eyes pop out of his head, his big lips stick out and he starts licking one of his incisors. I remember when I was younger, he use to flip his eyelids inside out and scare anybody that was in a five foot radius.
But that's enough about my wonderful parents, let's talk more about Jane. Jane is going to be a senior at Sa-Hali High School in Kamloops, British Columbia. Now that I've told you where I live and where I go to school, please don't ask me to get in the van because you have candy. Candy is my weakness, end of story. I'm also kind of a no one at school, not many people talk to me. I don't mind, I rather blend in with the walls, they make more sense than the high school drama some days. My favourite colour is lime green (i prefer to call it Booger Green), and my favourite movie is Elephant. Some of my interests include dancing (I've been dancing since I was little but never took classes, I learned off of music videos), saying sarcastic and cocky remarks, and bugging the hell out of my best friend, Patrick Damien.
Patrick is a guy that I've known since we were eight years old; Patrick was turning nine in one month and a day before on the day when we met. It wasn't the usual sand box location most child hood friends meet, I actually met him spontaneously while running after an ice cream truck (I got a load of ice cream on my favourite sweater, Margaret couldn't get the stain out for months, she finally did when I turned thirteen). Patrick was a scrawny kid with big bulky glasses growing up, so I decided to get non-prescription glasses to make him feel better. Patrick is also very experienced when it comes to Robotics/Engineering. For his tenth birthday, I got him a remote controlled helicopter and the next day I saw him, he turned it into a razor for his mom. I don't know how he made the plsatic propellers really sharp, he still won't tell me to this day. As we got older though, he felt he needed a change. So, he got contacts and around grade 9 he started to work out, turned out he threw on about 30 pounds of muscle before Christmas.
Recently, I made fun of him for putting blonde frosted tips in his dark brown hair. I don't like frosted tips personally; I rather have a guy dye his entire head, but other girls do apparently according to him. I kind of offended him and I feel bad about it, I made him go to bed 14 minutes earlier than he usually does. Hopefully he'll forgive me or else I'm screwed and won't have any friends. Not to sound lovey dovey or cheesy, but he's the only one I got and I love him dearly. And I'm also concerned he'll spread true facts about how I fart or talk about my period in front of him, I don't need him ruining my imaginary reputation. So Patty, if you hack into my computer with your mysterious powers and see this, I'm sorry for being a bitch, forgive me. And P.S. , I've seen pictures of the imfamous frosted tips pictures just now on Facebook, i guess they're not that bad, so i'm sorry, again.
Well, I think that's about it for my lovely biography. Not much is happening in my life except the fact that I'm freezing my ass off at the moment. Tomorrow, I start my senior year of high school. I'm always reminding myself 'one more year of boring lectures, disgusting teachers and pathetic gossip'. So I raise my cup of luke warm tap water to my last day of summer, it's starting to feel like autmn the way my air condition is running. Here's my story, enjoy.