"No, no, no, this just won't do!" Mojo shrieked, throwing up his arms in disgust. "Look at them!"

Majordomo stifled a sign and looked at the many screens facing them. The cameras were situated discreetly in different areas of the X-mansion, and all of them were depicting tender and heart warming scenes of Christmas cheer. The mansion had been completely decorated from roof to foundation (and even under the foundation) in Christmas lights, tinsel, holly, wreaths, and every other Christmas ornament the X-men could get their hands off.

"Cyclops and Marvel Girl being all smoochy and lovey-dovey, bah!" Mojo complained, gesturing wildly to Scott and Jean exchanging early presents in the privacy of her bedroom. "And snow man building. Snow men. Building men out of snow."

Majordomo glanced then at the screen showing Kurt and Kitty building a snowman together. Bobby was with them as well, building his own army of icemen.

"They don't even do anything!" Mojo wailed. "They just stand there until they melt! And that Rogue! She's just lying there reading a book. A book! Why, I'm offended at the very sight. Just look at these ratings."

Mojo grabbed a printout and practically shoved it in Majordomo's face. "Dropping like flies! No one's watching! The only interesting thing to happen lately is Wolverine in the Danger Room, and he's already done his session for today! Where's the drama? The action? The blood!"

"It is Christmas time on Earth," Majordomo said. "Perhaps all their opponents are taking some time off to celebrate the holiday season."

"Nonsense!" Mojo declared. "No one gets time off in the Mojoverse."

"That's true, but the X-men are not under contract," Majordomo replied. "However, we have plenty of people who are. You could always send, say, the Reavers there spice things up."

"Wait, I've got it!" Mojo said excitedly, raising one hand. "We'll send the Reavers there to spice things up. I'm a genuis!"

"Yes, you are," Majordomo replied dryly.

Mojo rammed down on a button and a view of the control room appeared.

"Spiral! Spiral!" Mojo demanded.

Mojo and Majordomo watched as Spiral sat up quickly. Her hair was all over the place, she was out of breath, and she had to cover herself up with two of her six arms as she wasn't wearing a top.

"Uhh, yes master?" Spiral asked, sounding completely out of sorts.

"Get the Reavers down to the X-mansion—what on earth are you doing?" Mojo screeched at her.

"Umm..." Spiral began, and then the head of a red-and-black-eyed man appeared behind her.

"I think the better question is what fromEarth is she doing," Gambit said slyly.

"Gah! Is that the mutant you picked up floating in the waters around Genosha?" Mojo asked.

"Yes," Spiral replied, feeling very awkward. "He's uhh, very good with his hands... and other things..."

"You're very good with your hands, chere," Gambit said, grinning broadly. "All six of them."

"Ahem, if I may interject," Majordomo said. "I believe this mutant has previously gone up against Nightcrawler and Wolverine."

Gambit frowned slightly as Mojo looked at Majordomo.

"Oh really? Change of plan!" Mojo declared. "Get him down to the X-men!"

"What about the Reavers?" Spiral asked. "Surely a group against a group will provide more bloodshed and more entertainment for your viewers."

"The Reavers are old news. Done! Over! Kaput! No one wants them," Mojo declared enthusiastically. "We need to see Wolverine and Nightcrawler go up against their old enemy! We need action! Oh, and if you can find the time to do any of that stuff with Marvel Girl, Storm, Shadowcat or Rogue that you were doing with Spiral, all the better."

"Not Rogue," said Majordomo. "She can't control her powers remember? She'd kill him before they so much as kissed."

Gambit raised an eyebrow.

"Not Rogue then," Mojo said. "Spiral, get him down there, now."

"Right now?" Spiral asked, sounding a little mournful.

"Yes! Right now! My viewers can't wait! Have you even seen my ratings?"

When Gambit started seducing Spiral so he could con her into teleporting him back to Earth, this wasn't exacting the homecoming he had been anticipating. Still, as he was dropped off on the roof of the X-mansion, he wasn't going to complain. If he caused enough chaos amongst the X-men, hopefully he could sneak off in the confusion and escape from these insane alien television producers.

He surveyed the lay of the land quickly. There were a few X-men outside building snowmen. Naturally, the best option there would be to blow those up. Of course, Nightcrawler was there, and any sign of blown up cards, or even just magenta light would alert him as to who exactly was playing the Grinch at their home.

The Grinch. The thought made Gambit smile. He should take a cue from that and steal their presents. In fact, that might work in his favour; if he could steal the presents and leave an obvious trail as to their whereabouts, with any luck the X-men would follow that trail, and he could escape. He did have Wolverine's sense of smell to contend with, but Gambit was sure he could get away, no problem.

Gambit decided not to blow up the snowmen just yet, although he would have to get to that soon. He scampered down the wall and looked through one of the large windows on the ground floor. Through the window he saw the recreation room, and in it, as luck would have it, the X-men's Christmas tree, completely with presents underneath.

Gambit carefully climbed across the narrow ledge he was hanging off towards the door. Dropping down to the ground would have been easier, but then he would have made foot prints in the snow, and then made wet footprints on the carpet inside. Plus, the snow was deep enough that his shoes would have gotten wet and he hated walking around in cold and wet boots. Using his unparalleled thieving skills, Gambit opened up the sliding glass door, swung inside, and closed the door behind him.

He took a moment to better survey the room, had a little snicker at the stockings on the mantelpiece, and then grabbed an empty Santa sack that just happened to be lying there. He filled up the sack with all the presents, checked the hallway to be sure it was clear, and calmly slung the sack over his shoulder and made his way down the hall.

He had planned on going down to the basement and wrecking some havoc down there, but as he approached the elevator, the doors began to open. Quick as a flash, Gambit bounded up the stairs instead, and fortunately managed to avoid being seen by Hank and Storm. Unfortunately, the pair decided that right outside the elevator was a good place to stop and continue their chair, so Gambit continued down the upstairs hallway instead.

As Gambit headed down, he heard the sound of voices coming from one of the rooms. On a whim, he pressed his ear to the door; two voices, a man and a woman. He had no idea which X-men they were, or what they were talking about, but hey, he was there to cause trouble, so why not? He placed his hand on the door, charged it up as much as he could as fast as he could, and then scampered down the hall.

The door exploded into pieces. Scott and Jean cried out in alarm. Gambit grabbed the nearest door handle and let himself in before either of them could get it in their heads to check the hallway.

"Sure, invite yourself in why don't you?"

Gambit froze at the sound of the southern female voice behind him, and slowly turned around. A woman with a streak of white through her brown hair was lying on her stomach on the bed in a nightgown, bare legs up in the air, and a book near her head. His mind raced as he tried to remember from previous research which X-man this was, and at the same time remembering Mojo's request for him to seduce one of the women. Well, this was a woman, and a sexy one at that.

"Bonjour ma chere—" he began lightly.

"And are those our presents?" the woman demanded, sitting up.

"Au contraire," Gambit said quickly. "They are your presents. I bought them. For you. I'm your secret Santa."

"My secret Santa," she repeated as she stood up. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

Gambit unceremoniously dropped the sack.

"It's not what you think, I didn't forget to wear my Santa suit," he said as she got right up close to him. "I just forgot to do my laundry on time. But with any luck I won't be wearing anything for long."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Gambit realised which X-man he was talking to: Rogue. The exact one that Mojo told him not to kiss. He couldn't recall exactly what Rogue's powers were supposed to be; power siphoning or something.

"You've got a lot of nerve," Rogue said, glaring at him. She was relieved he was wearing so many clothes otherwise she would not have liked to have gotten this close; barely an inch away from him.

"I've got a lot of other things too," Gambit replied, focused on her lips and wondering if Mojo might have been exaggerating just a little bit when he said a kiss would kill him. He seemed to be that type.

Before he had a chance to tempt fate, however, he door opened behind him. Just as Scott entered, Gambit zipped over to the other side of Rogue's bedroom and was out the window. Rogue stared after him, and then glared at Scott.

"What is it with people and not knocking today?" she demanded.

"Sorry Rogue, but Jean's bedroom door just got blown up," Scott said. "I was going to ask, but it seems like you've just had an unexpected visitor yourself."

"And the rest," Rogue said, gesturing to the Santa sack. "I'll get dressed and get these back downstairs. You go after the little swamp rat."

"Swamp rat?" Scott asked with a slight frown.

"He sounds Cajun or Creole, something Louisianan anyway, therefore he's a swamp rat," Rogue said with a nod. "Now shoo! A little privacy here? I'm not Jean, you know!"

Scott quickly left. As soon as he shut Rogue's bedroom door, he heard more explosions. He rushed to the window only to see Bobby's iceman army being blown to bits. He raced outside along with Jean, Logan, Storm, and Hank. Kitty, Kurt, and Bobby freed themselves of the snow and ice that had half buried them in the explosions. Logan picked up a piece of half burned playing card that floated to the ground. He growled.

"Gambit."

"Who?" asked Jean.

"Thieves Guild," Logan said. "He's stolen from here before, and from Genosha. We'd better find him before he decides to steal anything else. Where's Forge?"

"He's still in his lab," Hank said.

Before anyone could say anything else, more explosions were heard from the mansion. The X-men raced towards them, some going inside, some staying out. As it was the next person to see Gambit was the only X-man left who didn't know he was in the mansion. Forge was therefore quite shocked when he turned around at the sound of something blowing up to see Gambit helping himself to the secure storage in his lab.

"Hey! Get away from there!" Forge objected.

Belatedly, he lifted his robotic arm which shifted into a gun. Gambit took one look at him out of the corner of his eye and flicked some charged cards at him to throw him off balance. He took his prise and zipped off as Forge fell backward from the forced of Gambit's charged cards blowing up. Forge got up and looked around, but couldn't see where Gambit had gone. He pressed the button for the communications system, but it had been disabled. Annoyed, Forge checked what had been taken and then went look for Gambit or the other X-men, whoever he found first.

Rogue, now dressed, was just about to step out of her bedroom when Gambit suddenly appeared right in front of her. Before she had a chance to say or do anything, he had swept her back inside with one arm around her waist and shut door.

"Missed me?" he asked.

To Rogue's shock, his question was immediately followed up by a kiss, full on the lips. A kiss that wasn't immediately followed by an absorption. She kissed him back, and it wasn't until he touched his tongue to her lips, seeking entrance to her mouth that Rogue got back to her senses. She pushed him away, and only then realised that Forge's power inhibiter collar was around her neck.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rogue demanded. "You think you can just waltz in here, turn my powers off and have your way with me?"

"I'm sorry, ma chere," Gambit said, taking one hand and kissing it, all the while maintaining eye contact. "I couldn't resist the opportunity to steal a kiss from a beautiful woman."

"You've been doing a lot of stealing today, it seems," Rogue said, reefing her hand from his grasp.

Gambit stepped up to her and slid his arm around her waist again. "I'm a thief, it's what I do."

He lowered his head to kiss her again, but Rogue pushed him away once more, and then lifted one leg to knee him between the legs. Gambit must have realised the blow was coming, for he dodged and whirled around so that he was behind her. She elbowed him in the gut.

"Ow!" Rogue exclaimed as a pain ran down her funny bone, and she rubbed her elbow.

"My apologises," Gambit said, purring into her ear. "It's the body armour. Here, let me kiss that better for you."

He had her elbow before she could object and planted a tender kiss over her sleeve. Again, Rogue pulled her arm away.

"You just can't seem to keep your lips off me today, can you?" Rogue said, wagging a finger at him.

Gambit captured her finger and kissed the tip of it. "Seems not."

Rogue pushed him away forcefully. Gambit stumbled backwards, and as luck would have it, fell eagle-spread on the bed. Gambit glanced at his position and then grinned at her.

"Well, if you insist, ma chere, I think I can oblige you."

"Yeah, this is what every girl wants," Rogue said sarcastically, stalking over to him, "for some strange man to invite himself into her bedroom and make unwanted advances."

Gambit hesitated. She was right, of course, and normally he didn't push this much or so hard. There was just something about this firey southern belle that made him get carried away.

"Gambit," he said, holding out his hand. "But you can call me Remy. Remy LeBeau."

"You're Gambit?" Rogue exclaimed, recognising the name. "Of course, I might have known."

Gambit took Rogue's hand when she didn't immediately take his.

"Do you happen to believe in love at first sight?" he asked.

Rogue quirked an eyebrow at him as he kissed her hand.

"Do you say that to all the girls?" she retorted.

Gambit sat up on his knees so that he was at eye level with her. "Would you believe me if I said no?"

"No."

"Didn't think so," he said ruefully. "It's true all the same."

Rogue lifted a hand to stroke his cheek. "Sure it is."

Much to Gambit's surprise, Rogue kissed him. He kissed her back eagerly and made another attempt to slip his tongue into her mouth. He was blissfully unaware that Rogue chose that moment to remove the collar from her neck. Her powers kicked in and she absorbed him neatly.

The first thing Rogue picked up from Gambit's mind was that he really did mean it when he said she didn't say "Do you happen to believe in love at first sight?" to all the girls. That genuinely surprised her. The next thing she picked up was Mojo's influence. When she broke contact, Gambit fell forward, but Rogue caught him, and a little reluctantly laid him back down on her bed.

At that very moment, Rogue's bedroom door flung open. Logan took in the scene: Gambit on her bed, the power inhibiter collar in her hand, and Gambit's red and black eyes in Rogue's head. His claws extended.

"Logan we have more important things to deal with than Gambit right now," Rogue said firmly, cutting in between them before Logan to cut Gambit up into teeny tiny pieces. "Mojo."

"Mojo?" Logan asked, somewhat annoyed at being prevented from dealing with Gambit as he saw fit.

"Yeah," Rogue said as Forge and Nightcrawler appeared behind Logan. "He's been filming up for his intergalactic TV show. He's got cameras all over the mansion."

"You sure about this?" Logan asked as Forge immediately started fiddling with his robotic arm.

"He decided things were too boring and decided to send him in," Rogue pointed her thumb at Gambit, "to stir things up. Gambit is just as much a victim of this as we are."

Logan growled like he didn't quite believe it, but anything he might have said was interrupted by Forge.

"Ah ha! I found one!"

"Found one what?" Logan asked.

Forge gestured to a spot on the wall. "A camera! Right there."

"Nooo!" Mojo exclaimed as Logan's claw rammed into the camera lens. "Spiral! Stop them! Send in the Reavers."

"I thought you said they were old news," Majordomo said mildly.

"I did? When was that? Oh that was ages ago," Mojo declared. "This is show business! Get with the times already."

While Forge tracked down all the hidden cameras, Spiral started depositing the Reavers—a band of cyborgs—onto the mansion grounds. The X-men quickly caught wind of this and attacked.

"This is ridiculous," said Kurt. "I refuse to fight for Mojo's entertainment."

"Hmm," Rogue said beside him, and pulled off her glove. "Wanna get me to Spiral?"

Kurt looked at the discarded glove and grinned. He put his hand on her shoulder and teleported them right to Spiral, who was busy fighting Wolverine. Before she could react to their presence, Rogue touched her face and immediately absorbed Spiral's powers of teleportation.

"Mojo wants a show, right?" Rogue said. "What do you boys say we take this show on the road?"

Logan put his hand on Rogue's shoulder. "Let's go."

Rogue teleported the Reavers and the X-men—individually and in groups—to Mojo's lair. The Reavers were returned to their dressing rooms, while the X-men wrecked havoc on Mojo's control room.

"What? No! You can't do this!" Mojo screeched. "Stop them! Stop them!"

Spiral regained her senses and was immediately greeted by Mojo yelling at her to save him. Spiral teleported to Mojo and the moment Rogue saw her, she knew that her time with Spiral's powers was growing short. Quickly, Rogue gathered up the X-men and teleported them all back home, leaving Mojo, Majordomo, and Spiral to look at the mess that remained.

"We're off the air," Majordomo reported.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" cried Mojo.

Gambit dropped to the ground below Rogue's bedroom window and turned to leave, only to run right into Rogue and the rest of the X-men.

"Going somewhere?" Rogue asked, her arms folded across her chest.

"Heh, well, you know," he said. "Places to go, things to steal..."

"Uh huh," Rogue said. "I think you're going to stay right here."

Gambit really wanted to make some suggestive remark to that, but given the dark glare Logan was giving him, he decided it probably wasn't the right time.

"Do you really?" he asked. "And why would I do a thing like that?"

"You trashed our home, Swamp Rat," Rogue said, pointing at him. "And you're damn well doing to clean up your messes."

Gambit leaned in towards her. "Make me."

Some hours later, Rogue was sitting in a lounge chair with her back up against one arm, and her legs dangling over the other. There was a book in her lap, but she wasn't really reading it; she was a little preoccupied watching Gambit sweep up the mess he made of the lounge room. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him bend over to used the dustpan and brush on the pile of dirt he'd collected and she turned her head to get a better view of his behind sticking out at her. She smiled and looked back at her book.

"Merry Christmas to me."