A missing scene from Boomerang, Part 2
Note: I've recently been immersing myself into the JAG fandom. I cannot claim to have seen every episode, but I have managed to youtube pretty much all of the significant moments between Harm and Mac. I apologise in advance if this contradicts anything that happens in future episodes, but I've got to say, Don Bellisario seems to have been just as guilty of that. Anyway, without further ado… this story picks up from the end of the scene at Luna Park, where Harm and Mac have just reenacted the murder scene. Oh, and PS: Angst warning.
After Harm and Mac realised that Petty Officer Leigh's statement was a lie, they agreed to put the case aside and head into the amusement park for dinner. Mac found the first hot dog stand inside the gate and immediately placed her order, while Harm hung back, searching the menu board for something he could stand to eat. When the attendant asked for his order, he asked for help in deciding, and was immediately recommended a vege pastie. Mac watched in amusement as he tentatively tasted the pastry, then returned to her own food when he gave a smile of satisfaction.
They wandered the park for a while, each suggesting they try various rides and games as they passed by, until they came to the rollercoaster. Mac practically forced Harm onto the ride, and laughed heartily at the look on his face as the ride took off faster than he'd expected. Harm did his best to refrain from screaming, while Mac let free her own scream borne more of delight than fear.
As they disembarked from the coaster car, Mac suggested some ice cream, and Harm declined, but offered to buy hers. Soon, the park was closing, and they were boarding the ferry to return to Circular Quay.
Mac led the way, climbing the stairs to the top deck, and winding around the side until she made it as close to the bow as she could. She leaned over the railing, letting the salt air fill her lungs and tousle her hair. Harm followed her at a short distance, surprised at the sudden change in her demeanor. He knew that their conversation on the ride over had been a heavy one, and that they both had a million thoughts swirling through their heads.
He approached her slowly, and just as he reached out to touch her shoulder gently, the ferry horn blew, startling them both. He pulled back immediately, and instead queried in a gentle voice, "Mac?"
She inhaled a deep breath and looked to the stars, keeping her back to him for several moments before acknowledging him. "I just… I need to know why."
He knew exactly what she was referring to, and wisely chose not to play dumb this time. "Whatever it is that I feel for you… I'm not ready for it. I can't be another man that disappoints you."
She spun around and looked at him, incredulous. Tears glistened in her eyes, and she asked, "Who says you would?"
His heart constricted at the pain on her face, and it took everything in him to not look away. "I do."
Those simple words hit her like a punch to the gut. They were the words she wished for, but in a vastly different context. Her lower lip quivered, and she held on tight, only allowing a few tears to break free and roll down her cheeks.
Harm reached out, brushing them away with his thumb and attempting to continue explaining. "You're too good for me."
That riled her, and she evaded his touch, quietly biting out, "Bullshit." She turned her back on him again, staring out into the dark harbour, the night lights blurred by the tears welling in her eyes once again.
Harm turned away as well, pacing a couple of steps before turning back to her. He came closer, standing next to her at the railing and looking out across the water as well. "With you, it would be forever. And before I can give you that, I have to figure out how."
"Why couldn't we figure it out together?" She asked without looking at him.
"Because I don't want to hurt you."
Mac shook her head in disgust. "That's the stupidest thing you've ever said."
"Isn't it better now than 6 months into the relationship?" He asked.
She didn't reply, keeping her face hidden from him as she again tried to calm her emotions.
Harm turned towards her, and reached for her hand. She let him take it, but still wouldn't look at him. "I wish I could ask you to wait for me, but I know that's not fair. So don't, Sarah. If you want to move on, then do it. Don't sacrifice a happy life waiting for me."
She took in his words for several long moments, sniffling and wiping the last of the tears from her face. She turned back to him, her face a mask compared to the emotional expression she showed him only minutes ago. "Then you need to learn to stop playing the jealous boyfriend every time I'm with another man. You no longer have the right."
With that, she pulled out of his grasp and walked away, giving them both some time alone before the ferry docked and they returned to the hotel side by side, a new distance separating them both physically and emotionally.