Sum: Sirius's other diary.
Dear Purple Bunny Diary,
The following is an account of what happened at number 12 G. P.
Day 1
It's cool being here again! Though some bald tree-looking house elf is here.
Day 2
My bed is cozy!!! And I found my socks.
Day 3
Went through the house shrieking "Bicycle Race" at the top of my voice. Found out mumsies was near the front door behind a curtain. Damn, damn, damn!
Day 4
Went around looking for the secret passages. One led me straight to this guy who looked like a giant bat.
Day 5
Bat-Dude found his way back to my house. Hung him up on my wall. Brought his Alfred with him.
Day 6
Alfred got the door today. It was that girl from Azkaban. Said she had an offer I couldn't refuse...
Day 7
Went and murdered one of her reviewers. Seems this is what they said:
Voldie On Varsity Track
This should not be rated G if it involves illegal drugs. Not funny, not rated appropriately, and Frodo and Sam are not gay.
Day 8
Saw that knobby house elf again, Kreacher. Dumb nuts can't even spell his name right.
Day 9
Woke up to the sound of mumikins shrieking her fat face off. Went and got a match.
Day 10
Seems I can't burn mumsies. Even worse Kreacher tried to hump my leg today.
Day 11
Dumbledore came over today. Said he wanted to borrow some socks. Gladly obliged.
Day 12
Bat-Dude has been trying to escape. Alfred whacked him over the head for me with a stick.
Day 13
I'm bored!!!!
Day 14
Found a boggart in toilet. Battled with it for a while before we became friends. Kreacher also tried to find out if I was edible today.
Day 18
Sorry, Kreacher stole my diary. Also thinks I look like Gary Oldman.
Day 20
Went and partied with some Muggles today. This dance called the macarina is fun!
Day 21
Found Kreacher with an issue of PlayElf. Went and hurled in toilet because of what I saw.
Day 34
This time the boggart stole my diary. Though, I have nothing to write about today.
Day 35
Read some more fan-fiction today. Need to murder girl who wrote "Dear Fuzzy Diary".
Day 36
Cops came to my house to today because I was playing my music to loud. Muggles are so whimpy. They decided I also looked like Gary Oldman. Tried to catch me, but Alfred bit them.
Day 38
One of these days I'm going to make myself some toast.
Day 40
Must resist urge to kill Mumsies....
Day 56
Some but ugly fat person is walking around with a walking stick. Must resist urge to kill.
Day 60
As I look at it now, the only thing that I thought about in Azkaban that kept me sane was "Bring back milk".
Day 78
Boggart wants to have a love affair with my diary. Stole it again.
Day 80
More fan girls showed up screaming: "We love you Sirius!!!" and "Drop your pants or else!!" Such nice fan girls....if only they hadn't stepped on the land mine.
Day 87
I keep thinking I lock this thing up, but I found out Kreacher lives in my drawer.
Day 88
Set drawer on fire.
Day 89
Girl came back to complain. Had a nice cup of tea before she went and beat my mumzies's picture into oblivion. After she had calmed down, she warned me that some Kreacher fans might be out there before leaving.
Day 92
Voldemort showed up here. (I think Dumbledore is giving out the address to random people.) We had a nice cup of tea before HE beat my mother's picture into oblivion.
Day 93
Well that geek Potter is showing up here again. Can't write any more because we have clean. I'll use the rest as memos.
Memos To Self:
Kill Potter kid.
Tie up girl that keeps coming here and feed her to Buckbeak.
Set Kreacher on fire again and again and again and again and again!
Beat Mommy's picture into oblivion.
Beat The Hobbit (A/N Sirius, I did that ages ago!)
Rock back and forth and wait for The Sims2 to come out.
Also bounce up and down and wait for The Battle For Middle Earth to come out.
Play hide and seek with Potter kid behind some veil.
Well I hope you enjoyed this one as much as you enjoyed Dear Fuzzy Diary!!