"Oh Dr. Lester, he thinks.. he thinks something is wrong with me, terribly wrong," the year was 1959 and Maude Claiborne was sitting in the psychiatrist's office discussing her husband's opinion of her.
Dr. Lester had been seeing Maude for months and thought something was wrong was not something that talk therapy alone could help. This was not one of the many upper middle class housewives who would be ok with a few mild tranquilizers and sleeping pills in addition to psychoanalysis, no he had a feeling this was something more serious. This wasn't just a woman who didn't want to be stuck at home all day as a happy housewife. He had a sinking feeling that this was a very strong, intelligent,opinionated woman who also had Manic-Depression, something he didn't think the mental health community had a good handle on, yet.
"Mrs. Claiborne are those medications helping at all?"
" Please call me Maude. Helping, well I suppose sometimes I feel I can sleep more, but sometimes it feels like sleep is unnecessary. There is so much to talk about with my likeminded new neighbor, Vera Greenblat. My other next door neighbor Agnes makes June Cleaver look liberal, a total bore…"
" Sleep is very important Maude. But using what I've given you long term can be dangerous."
" Then I won't use it. You know I don't feel like there is anything wrong with me at all. I feel wonderful, much better than that depression I had when I first started seeing you."
" Maude, I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. It's something unnatural, not healthy,perhaps a disorder. I don't know quite how to say this,but I think.. I don't think Miltown is what you need."
" A disorder, what? That's ridiculous!"
" Maude, you appear to have Manic Depression. I'm sorry. I'm very concerned that it may worsen."
"What, are you calling me crazy?"
"No, I.. I'm calling you possibly mentally ill. It's nothing you or your family did. It's not your fault. We don't know how this happens.. "
"But I feel so good, never felt better, please don't lock me away, Carol needs her mother, she's starting Senior High this fall. Chester can go ahead and divorce me, I don't care, who needs men, he's no improvement over my last husband,really."
"Maude, you are talking a mile a minute. I will do everything in my power, I promise you, hospitalization will be the last resort. My field is changing, young psychiatrists are working on what we call the deinstitutionalization movement. You deserve to live in the community. We are trying to make hospitalization harder these days."
" You are a very kind and caring man. The best psychiatrist I've ever had. I really trust you Dr. Lester. I just can't tell anyone. I mean Chester is dumb jock. My husband won't understand psychiatry."
" I understand,Maude. Perhaps we could discuss your relationship with him at the next appointment?"
"What the hell is going to happen to me? Do you mind cursing, if not I'm so sorry Doctor."
Dr. Lester wished he knew, if only lithium was approved by the FDA,if only he knew when or if this would develop into a full blown episode, if she'd have to be hospitalized or if a mild antipsychotic would be needed and come with bad side effects. He silently asked for prayers.
St. Jude, Mother Mary, St. Dympna, I know I'm not supposed to have favorite patients, but I do. I care for Maude, like a friend. Please help her. I'm afraid. Please help her illness stay under control. Help me help her.
"Well, Maude, this increased energy, decrease in sleep, how long has this been going on?"
" Oh I don't know, a week?"
"I see. So what have you been doing with all this energy?"
" Well besides chatting with Vera, I'm quite active in the League of Women Voters and the Westchester County Women of the Democratic Party, the Parent Teachers Association at Carol's school. It's just wonderful. Everyone tells me I should slow down, but I've actually been extremely productive you know."
" I can tell, this usually lasts for a bit and doesn't progress,it's called hypomania You may sink into a deep depression again too. You seem to be prone to highs and lows. Please do me a favor and read this brochure,call me if you feel overwhelmed, most importantly,Maude, you need to try to sleep. Please don't over do things either. I'm not sure if things will get severe, I don't want to scare you, but there are some warning signs of in there of what worsening symptoms could be."
" Oh alright, I promise, but only because I like you, you know. Well looks like I have to pick up Carol from school. I guess time flies even when you aren't having fun. I'll see you at our usual time next week."
" Call me if you need to,Maude."
"Of course, of course. See you later." Maude left the office humming Doris Day and feeling ecstatic. The often cynical and critical woman was on cloud nine.
When she got home, Chester was again at football practice. Sometimes she wondered if he loved coaching his students more than her. She browsed the pamphlet that talked about cycling moods, possible worsening symptoms,mild tranquilizers, possible hospitalization, ECT, the possibility of psychosis. And a short somewhat positive sentence about a new mood stabilizer being tested on patients called Lithium.
"God, if you do exist, if I have this, make my case a mild one, I hear Jesus supposedly helped Mary Magdalene, so maybe he can help me if I'm actually sick." She promptly hid the brochure from her family took her sleeping pill, and prayed she could get some sleep.