Dontcha just hate it when those spoilsport Death Eater types spoil the party? At that perilous moment when you're Snatched by the thugs, it's time to get up Voldemort's nose (or lack of) with the top 13 ways to REALLY annoy Scabior, head Snatcher who applies eyeliner during broomstick turbulence.
Deliberately mishear his name and insist on calling him Scabbers. Ask him at which point in film three does he turn into Timothy Spall.
Tut at the state of his personal hygiene. "Honestly, a thousand Galleons per muggle born and you still can't afford a decent shower."
Tell him to avoid covered bridges.
Tell him Bellatrix Lestrange fancies him.
Offer him 1 million Galleons if he manages to capture Homer Simpson, Mickey Mouse, Barney and Mr Blobby.
Tell him Muggles do punk so much better.
Ask him if he still lives with his mum.
Tell him Voldemort does.
Lend him a hairbrush and eye make-up remover.
Hum the Balamory theme tune and ask if he remembers the programme.
Get Greyback to send him off to buy: waterproof towels, stripped paint, elbow grease and a long wait.
When he is outwitted by Harry Ron and Hermione shout: "If it weren't for those meddling kids!" Ask him if he remembers that TV programme.
Send an ostentatious pink bouquet of singing flowers thanking him for "such a pleasant and enjoyable experience of being Snatched." Get the singing flowers to sing the Balamory theme tune.