So, yeah. There are a lot of things I really need to be doing right now for school. But that's not what I did. Because I'm an emotional ball of loneliness. So yeah. This is pretty much my life, except I've swapped my name with the names of people you actually are interested in reading a story about. So read on.

I laid down on one of my waterfalls staring down into the reflective puddle. No no, it's fine Amethyst. I'm really happy you have a new boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

She always told me she was into women. We'd always talk about it together and it was somewhat of a bonding thing since it wasn't really something I could talk about with anyone else. Since him, she hasn't. She hasn't made any inappropriate references or gestures, or even mentioned females. And now I no longer have someone to talk about it with.

And I've felt way more lonely. Not because she hasn't been talking to me, but just…

Jealous.

I want to be held… I want someone to love me. I want to kiss someone goodbye as they walk to the bus to go home. I want to know that someone loves me more than anything else in the world and be able to love them back.

And I don't have it. I've never had it. And she does. I'm happy for her of course, it's just hard to watch.

"All I want is to be held… And feel loved."

"I will." I looked into her dark eyes sadly. We tell each other we love each other. Like sisters. What I want isn't a sister. But I cant tell her that.

"You can't. You'll leave me." I bit back the words "for him"

"No."

She didn't understand. I don't want a friend. I want a girlfriend. Badly. It wasn't as bad when me and her were single buddies. But when everyone around you is in a relationship it makes you wonder. Wonder why you don't have someone, wonder why you're not good enough, wonder if people are repulsed by your appearance, or maybe it's your mannerisms.

And I can't tell her. Because then she would feel bad. And I don't want her to feel bad about something that isn't her fault. It isn't her fault she has a boyfriend. It isn't her fault I'm lonely. It never was.

But what I wouldn't give for someone to love me. Rose was the closest thing I had. She made me feel special. But she never gave me the chance.

Rose isn't here now. Now I'm even more alone. Amethyst has a boyfriend. Now I'm even more alone. And now I lay on a puddle drowning in an ocean of loneliness, wondering if it's ever going to end or if I'm just going to be drowning in the loneliness forever.

Just a little drabble I wrote trying to vent my feelings. If you liked it, great. If not, oh well. It helped me a little at least and maybe it will help someone else too. I appreciate feed back, even if you're just blatantly telling me I suck, so long as you tell me how to fix it so I can not suck cause otherwise there's no point. Anyways, that's all for now.

- My