Who I was

by lilsocks

Ocean always had this strange feeling about her economics professor, Don Quixote. When the man kisses her suddenly on the quiet lawn at the university she realizes why. Memories began to come back to her in bits of a life the two shared together where they were much more than student and teacher.

I hear that same laugh I'd been hearing in my head for the whole semester as a strong gust of wind spills my report across the lawn in front of the library. Normally I'd like breezy nights at this time of the year as they were a nice break for the summer heat. Not tonight though. Not when all these papers that were prancing across the lawn where due in six hours.

I hear the laugh again, but this time I know it's not in my head. I should be freaked out that the voice of my economics professor and the voice in my head were the same? I was, but no one knew that I was. Professor Don Quixote was a handsome man and unlike others, in my 9 AM class I had with him I kept this opinion to myself. Tall, blond, sharp nose, thin brows, and this face that looks innocent but would look just as fine covered in bandages and blood.

" Fufufu, need some help?", He asks holding the rest of the paper out for me.

"Professor Don Quixote, thanks ."

I take the rest of my over back and have to inquire," What are you doing out so late?"

" A better question is why are you out so late?", he counters.

" I have a paper due early in the morning. Kind of procrastinated with it until the last the last minute ."

Don Quixote hums and nods in agreement " I do the same thing ."

" Is that why you're here so late ?"

I look round the dark and empty campus. It was nearly one in the morning and we seemed to the only two on campus. I was sure that there were other students around, just nowhere near us. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable being around professor Don Quixote. He had never done anything to warrant such a reaction. I still got this funny, uneasy and delightful feeling when I was around the blond.

"Usually, but not tonight."

I was curious now and decided to bite even though I wanted to leave and crawl into my bed. I have to stare up professor Don Quixote because of his impressive height. Ther as something telling that I already knew why he as her and it wasn't such a good idea to ask. I do anyway because I didn't want to give into paranoia.

" So why are you here?"

He smiles at me. It not a friendly smile though. It's much more sinister than that. Don Quixote takes a step closer to me and leans down a little closer to me. He's too close to me. He's never been this close before. I notice that his right eye it brighter than the other one which looks more glassy.

" I've been waiting for you,"He informs me as his large And grabs my waist making me jump," And I've grown quite tired of it ."

There was a husky tone in his voice that should have served as a warning as to what his intentions were o ere. By the time my brain registered this, it was too late. As soon as 'it' left his mouth I'm pulled forward and my lips crash into his. The way my mouth had already been open a little ready to scream for help gives Professor Don Quixote the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue in.

'My eyes were tired and burned a little. I Wasn't sleepy. I had just been setting her looking over these books of our profits and spending all day. This wasn't a chore for. I loved messing with numbers. It's like a secret language that only I knew. The rest f the family wasn't too good at it. Doing this all day though was getting a little tired. Taking off my glasses I rub my eye and tell myself that joust to need to go a little longer then I'll be done.

" Fufufu, look lek you need a break ."

That laugh unique laugh of his would never fail put a smile on my face. Looking up I see Doflamingo standing with one ankle crossed over the other leaning against the door frame that he practically took up. He doesn't have his iconic coat but still has on his shade. I really wished he wouldn't wear them. He looked so much softer and approachable without them. I understood as to why he wrote them though. People tend to see his eye as weaknesses instead of a battle won.

" I'm almost done.", I tell him then return t adding and subtracting numbers

"All the better reason to take one."

" Why when I can just finish it now ?"

" Because your eyes look like a demon. ", He tells. Are they relay that dry? stopping I looking back up again being tempted to do as he suggests.

" So what do you suppose I do for this break? Maybe take a nap, get something to eat, go see what the family is up too..."

Doflamingo gives me that smirk. The one that's dark and seductive. He pushed himself off the and strides access my study over to my cluttered desk. " I can think of a few things, but they all involved you on spread eagle on the desk ."

I glance over all the paper and notebooks that clutter my desk before looking back at him with a coy smirk," I think I can clear some space off for us ." '

I knee Professor Don Quixote hard in the crotch making him stagger back away from and grab his crotch letting out a slew of curse words. The kiss wasn't that long, but it was just unexciting and unwanted. it was also it as the furthest thing for my mind right now. it was that memory that had me at a loss for words, left me breathless, and frozen. That could have been just a thought, perhaps even fantasy , it came to me to clearly and was too full of emotions to be anything else but a memory

That was definitely me and that was definitely him, but at the same time, it wasn't. I seem- I felt more mature. More confident than I was now. He looked more happy, more relaxed, more dangerous. I felt things for him a student should not feel for her teacher. They went just sexual desires. I loved him as well.

I hug my papers close to me and runway before professor Don Quixote can say anything or get back up from my kick. I don't stop running until I get back to my dorm two blocks east. I wasn't on the track team or even good at ruining long distance so by the time I reach my room my muscles burn just as bad as my throat. I tell myself that at least I'm away, but I don't feel any better.

()()()()

The next morning I have Biology bright and early at 8 AM. A class that I didn't get why I need. I want to go to be anywhere near a beaker or goggles when I'm done with school. At least I have a good lab partner. Law looks like he's sleep derived most of the time, but really he' this genius prodigy pride in the sciences. He was going to school to be a surgeon and I fully believed he could accomplish this without breaking a sweat. He was also very observant men so he noticed that not only had I not gotten much sleep last night but I also was on edge.

" So what's wrong. It's not very often I see you like this. Did you not finish the paper something ?"

"No," I shake my Head," I finished that last night."

" Then what is it?"

" Well,"I don't want to tell Law the whole truth so I tell him a mix of both,"I had his dream about professor Don Quixote ."

One of Law's dark brow raises in a suggestive manner," Oh, a dream? Like a steamy one? I know you have the hots for him "

" I do not and it wasn't that kind of dream. At least I don't think.", I feel my cheeks heat up as I remember clearly the last part of the memory, " I mean I think it was implied but I never saw anything. Anyways that's not the point ."

" That what is ?",He urges resting is cheek in the palm of his hand giving me his undivided, board looking attention.

" The dream just ...sort of didn't feel like dream to me. It felt s more of a memory actually."

Law gives me an unexciting look of a surprise with probes me to ask," What?"

Quickly he makes eth look disappear and replaces with is usually one," Nothing."

I know it wasn't anything but I down get a chance to talk to Law anymore about t because the professor walks in and she was the type that wanted everyone quate and ready for class to begin when he entered the lab. I would have to ask him to after if I remembered.

()()()()

I breathe a sigh of relief when stepping back into the cool air three-story building that was the business and math center. I had his class right after Biology and I would set up front on most days, but today I had sat in the back and let my head down. The whole class I spent moving my head side to side try and see past everyone in front of me so that I could take notes and building up the courage to talk to professor Don Quixote after class. When the class had ended I had ten meets to do so and get to my accounting class a building over.

there was a line of few girls at his desk who all seemed to be the type to be pretending to have trouble in class. I didn't have time for a line so I would have to come back on my lunch after my next class. I didn't want to because professor Don Quixote would be in his office by them and that was more private than his classroom. I didn't want to be in private with the blond. I did want answers however and that seem to be or important to me that this uneasy feeling I got for the thought of being alone with him.

Professor Don Quixote's office was on the third floor of the building. I take the elevator instead of the stairs. Once I step out of the third floor I'm hit with a blast of cold air and nerves. Instead of heading to his office I make a quick trip to the women's bathroom instead to try and hype myself up for his.

I tell myself that I'm badass, though I didn't look like one Today. This morning I got dressed in a short summer romper today with sleeves that scrunched up around my shoulders. Because of my sleepless night, I didn't bother much with my hair and just put in a dirty blond sock bun . with sandals and cardigan I look even tinier. I debate with myself rather or not I should keep the cardigan on. I was going to get goosebumps without it. WIth it I looked small and fragile in the end I kept it on because I convinced myself that it doesn't matter what I look like. I just need answers.

Reaching professor Don Quixote's office that was the last door in the office suite on the third floor I give three sharp knocks then here is muffled voice say," Come in!".

He was sitting behind his expensive looking desk looking over papers through a pair of thick-rimmed reading glasses. Today he had worn a pastel pink dress shirt he had rolled the sleeves up on and a black tie he had to loosen. I try not to gawk him too much m but he looked good. Pink was a good color on him . an iconic color almost.

The moment that he looks up and see it's me peeking into office there is wide almost goofy smile plastered across his face. He takes off his glasses, and jesters to the two chairs in front of his desk " Ocean . have a seat ."

" Professor Don Quixote.", I nod and do so stiffly

How he was acting like everything was ok, as if what happened last night was ok, was putting me on edge. I was so scared that he would try something like last night. Professor Don Quixote could easily overpower and I felt so wrong that a part of me wanted him to.

Settling down and try to address the matter a formal, purely her for business, manner," I-i'm here about last night."

His smile turns into that dark smirk from the memory " I was hoping you would."

"Fufufu, " he lets out a deep chuckle crossing one arm over the another on top of his papers and leaning closer to me. There's still some distance between us thanks to the desk, but that doesn't do anything make me feel safe. I also feel excited, But I can't place why.

" With what evidence ?", professor Don Quixote inquires challenge me," if you go to the board now it would look worse for you. They'll See it as just some student trying to slander a good teacher's name ."

I knew that he could get away with that kiss last night Scott free. I just had this hope that he wouldn't know this and could scare him with threats. Feel like I had power over him. Professor Don Quixote was the one that had full control right now as he knew it. He showed it. I shifted my seat in tr to think of something, anything, to say to the blind as he hated me down so smugly.

" So," He speaks leaning back in his chair while I'm still trying to think of some got to say," Now that your petty threats have been dealt with, the real reason you here."

would want to go back to my professor whose voice had been in my head and who I'm having memories of us loving each other.

Professor Don Quixote stands up as well and makes his way around his desk while criticizing me in a mocking tone," Don't ask such rhetorical questions Ocean. You know that already ."

You see the thing is I've never his first name before that memory cannot be so if This Was really a memory of mine, a real thing then the mass should be the same ." I want o hear from you though ...I need to -just tell me."

He's standing tall in front of me now with his hands in the pocket of his pants. There were beige slacks that hugged just all the right places," You tell me. You remember it ."

So he did know. Or he could just be Toying with me. That's why I want him to say it. I explain to him," If I say it then you can just agree to whatever name say and make me think that this is real."

" Fufufu, clever as always. It's Doflamingo. Doflamingo Donquixote, like that famous pirate from history."

So it was true. That relay a memory in my head. I had been so caught up with waiting to be strong and prove rather or not I was crazy that I didn't realize the situation I had put myself in. The professor takes a step forward and I take a step back, my mind still reeling, this was real. We do this a couple more times until my back bumps into the door to this office making my jump little. I didn't realize until now that I had let myself be cornered.

" Now then, why don't you let down your barriers," He begins in a low soft voice while his hand gently pushed my cardigan on one of my shoulders, "And let me in."

I'm frozen. I'm scared, but not because he's trying to make advancements on me again. I'm scared because I want him to. I crave his touch. This proximity, and this familiarity. Like I've missed professor Don Quixote even though I barely knew him. The only skin to skin contact that he and I have ever had is a handshake and now here he softly touches his forehead to mine and here I am leading into his touch.

" I've missed you Ocean," He closes his eye," I've looked after you, how only you have the gall to talk back, you're touch-"

I stagger out of his office backward. My free hand that didn't have a death grip on my bag had opened the door. The was no one out the hallway, it was still it's me and him. I stand there in the middle of the hall staring wide-eyed at the blond wide eyes and he does the same. I'm terrified while he looks shocked and hurt. I want to leave and he reaches out wanting me to stay.

" Ocean-"

" I-i don't even know you ."

I fix my cardigan then swing my bag over my shoulder. I don't give Dof-professor Don Quixote any chance to say anything else. I don't even look back because I know that if I didn't I would stop and maybe even go back.

()()()()

' Rolling of the tall blond I close beside him on his king size bed. I'm trying to catch my breath and Doflamingo laid there with a satisfied smile on his face. I laughed and made myself comfortable slinging a leg over his and resting my head on his shoulder.

" I liked it .", I noted on the experience of being on top.

" Gotta says. I didn't know you had it in you to take charge like that ."

The pleasurable buzz is starting to go away and being replaced with a tired feeling. I wanted to take a nap, just a little, but we both had our own matter to attend to. Once my breathing is under control I move to get up and redress myself though I can't move. I feel string around my body meaning that this was his doing.

" Doffy ….", I began to whine," we both have work to do ."

" Diamante has things covered for a while and you really need a stop overworking yourself. It'll be the death of you ."

I roll my eyes. He as always such a worry wart about me,"Who else is going to make sure we don't go broke ?"

" Fufufu, you think Berry is a problem right now?", I feel him giving me control back then his finger slightly trace patterns across my arm," No one gonna miss us for a while."

" You sure about that ?", I ask knowing how the family was.

" There's going to be some mishap or another rather we're there or not."

I sigh and close my eyes," True. Hey Doffy ."

" Me too"

we never said our feeling to each other anymore. I could tell by the little things does. Like how I was the only one he let down his buried around and how he worries about me too much. The same could be said about me. Doflamingo as the only one that I let take care of me and accepted him for everything that he was. Monster and all. We had loved each other for so long that we didn't have to relieve each other. We just knew'

When I wake up I groaned. I guess that even in my dream I couldn't escape him. I lay in bed dressed in nothing but a large t-shirt and panties / Feelings from my dream still lingering making me feel hot on the inside. When I came home yesterday his voice told me that I needed to sleep and I listened to him. I made a quick sandwich to eat, took a shower, then went right to bed. The voice in my head wished me good night before drifted off to sleep.

Grabbing my phone I check the time and saw that not only had I slept through the evening but the night as well. It Was 6:45 AM. My alarm was set to go off in fifteen minutes. I went ahead and turned it off. I was wide awake and aroused thanks to that dream if I laid there in bed any longer I might act on the urge.

I get up and get dressed in shorts, ankle high boots, and a loose tank top. Knowing that my teacher likes to keep their classroom cold but it was supposed to warm again today I tie a plaid jacket around the waist for when I would need it. I add a necklace and take the time to curl my hair since I actually had the time this morning. I always only had time to either fix my hair or cook breakfast. This morning I could do both so despite that dream my morning was turning out to be pretty good so far,

Eating My breakfast the tiny kitchen I share with my roommates and watching the morning news through live stream on my phone, the arousal comes back. It never really left but I had hoped if I ignored the hot feeling it gives up. Just like the other memory, I don't see anything explicit in my dream, but I knew it had happened. I can feel that it had happened.

I shouldn't be thinking of my teacher this way. Even if he hadn't always been my teacher. Was he still my lover? Of course not. I don't know him. He didn't know me. Whoever we were in the past could be completely different people from who weer now. In fact, I was sure if this.

No matter how many times I tell myself I wasn't going to give in the desires created by that dream, my body still craves attention. I did have time. It would have been quick and quiet which shouldn't be a problem. Though I didn't masturbate very often had learned how to do so without my roommates ever suspecting a thing. They both wet also still asleep since they had afternoon classes.

Getting up I put away my dishes and head beach to my bedroom. I Wasn't going to do this out in the kitchen. I wasn't a savage. I would do it in the privacy of my bedroom. I also wasn't going to think about the blond professor. I would only focus on the pleaser like I usually do.

I lay down on my bed not bothering to kicking off my boots and make myself as I undo my shorts. This wouldn't take long . I put on some music on my phone and turn it up just enough to drown out the heater breathing. I then close my eye and lul my head on the side as my hand travel downwards and under my panties.

Not thinking about Don Quixote doesn't work out as well I thought it would, I work myself in all the ways I know I like, but it does nothing for me until I give any ming to him. I began to think about how he looked in my dream. Smooth skin that was tanned for being out the sun. Muscular . his lower half covered by nothing but a light sheet. Was that how he really looked under those dressed shirts and ties?

I could imagine what sex with professor Don Quixote would be like so clearly. He had strong unshaven legs, was well endowed, and not very thick but just thin enough for me. Typically Don Quixote liked to be in control and I was happy to let him be because he knew just what to do to me to make me tremble with pleasure and ecstasy. He talked a lot during sex rather it is teasing, lewd praises, or just small conversion. I loved his voice.

Though I imagine these things about my economics professor so clearly, I can't feel anything as clearly. I work myself vigorously until I cum. Don Quixote would alley cum always cum buried deep inside me. My toes curl inside my boots and my back arches off the bed as a silent scream of pleasure gives way. scream of ecstasy. I had hadn't had an orgasm like that in long while.

Laying in bed for a moment catching my breath. When I get up to clean myself off and brush my hair down I feel little dizzy. I don't feel any different either. In fact, I think pleasuring myself made me feel worse. Professor Don Quixote was a stranger to me. I shouldn't want him like this. Fells these feelings for him. If I were to give into this feelings and desires then both of us could get in serious trouble.

()()()()

I think it's for best that I stay as far away for Professor Don Quixote for a while. Just until I can get these feelings under wraps. I skip his class on did instead op to send it in the library researching reincarnation and the pirate Doflamingo Don Quixote. They both had a lot of similarities.

The only time that I see professor Don Quixote was just for a split second while on my way to my last class on Thursday. I had class on the third floor of this building that had a glass elevator. I spotted the tall blond in walking across the lobby as I rode the elevator up. He only stares each other for a few seconds, a few of the longest send I have ever been through. Don Quixote looks tired and. hurt. I know it's because of me.

' I knew that something was wrong when they came back for Swallow Island and neither Rosi or little Law was with them. What made me worry even was when Doflamingo pulled me the way and lead us to our room with a solemn expression on his face expedite the rest of the family joy over the treasure hall.

Once we got to our room he sat me down on the couch and just held me He's been holding for the past our now. At least it feels like it has been an hour. I knew something bad must have happened. Did something happen to Rosi? Did Law finally succumb to his illness? I had so many worse case scenarios going through my head. I wanted- no, needed to know what had happened.

" Doffy…"

" He was a marine Ocean. My own brother was working for the marines this whole time ."

I have to shift around a bit so that I can look at him. At some point, he had taken off his sunglasses and I could see that the good eye was looking a little puffy. He had been crying or holding back tears. I was begging to get an image of what happened. Rosi had to stay all of us. Doflamingo was already known as a demon. He was also a captain . all traitors would be dealt with by the captain.

" I...i shot him. He pulled a gun out on first. We already knew he was a trial before that. I already knew he couldn't pull the trigger either He was too much like our father. I couldn't stop either. Everyone one was there. I couldn't just let him walk. I couldn't stop shooting ….," he stopped but not for long as ore annoying and thoughts counter to spill," If he would have just let himself be captured then there might have been a chance e could and Law could escape. Law escaped, I'm pretty sure that Rosi hid him the treasure chest we didn't take. Law's going to hate me. I want him to hate me...I want him to grow up and be strong. I'm pissed that Rosi gave him the devil fruit, but I can understand why. I Hope Law grows up strong, still hating me. hope he can be strong enough to kill me one day ."

"Doffy.", I say a little more sternly.

" Ocean I just killed my own brother.", HIs voice was flat but still dripping with hatred and anger.

" He was a traitor.", I try to find a reason," And - and this is just the kind of world we have to live on alright. We have to do things we don't want to do. That hurt us ."

" Never betray be Ocean ...I Don't think- I don't want to kill more of my family ." '

" Are you ok miss?", A freckled face guy asks me and it's only when he does that I feel the hot tears against my skin and that the elevator had stopped on the third floor.

I put on a male and tell the him that I was fine. That it was just bad allergies. I then quickly duck out of the elevator. I didn't go to my last class. Instead, I go to the women's restroom and silently old cry in a stall

This memory was different from the others I've had so far. it was happy or arousing. It was heartbreaking. it was like when I lost grandpa last year. I had no idea who this Rosi character was, I just knew what was someone close to both me and professor Don Quixote. I knew what Law was though. I knew who he was back then and now.

()()()()

Law and I meet up for on his lunch break later that day. The man hates the taste of brad so whenever we went out to eat it was usually at this Chinese place we both liked. I had invited Law to eat lunch, well dinner for me but it was his lunch for him.i didn't bring up my recent memory until after we were done eating and getting ready to leave. I didn't bring my most recent memory during dinner because if I had sounded crazy I didn't want to have to set though dinner wit Law thinking it.

"So …. I had another dream ."

" Another streamy one about you economics professor?", Law smirks. He was really loving to tease me both this.

" It was never that way, to begin with," I snap feeling a heat rise in my cheeks," This one had you in it ."

"Ocean," Law gives a theatrical gasp," so scandalous."

I roll my eyes," You weren't there physically. You just mentioned. Along with this guy named Rosi ….to be honest, this dream felt a lot like a memory again.."

As I explain this I see how Law's eyebrows scrunch together and when is de heer salsa me," Are you sure this was a dream ?"

" what do you mean by that ?"

Law takes a deep breath as the waitress came back with our receipts, he waits until she leaves to speak," I mean are these dreams you're having or are memories ?"

"And if they are?"

" Then that something you need to talk about your economics professor."

Well, he wasn't very much help.

()()()()

I took Law's advice though. On Friday I manned up and went to professor Don Quixote's with the intention of talking to him afterward. I still haven't had these emotions about him under control. I just need to know more about the memories I kept having and sine Law wasn't going to be any help. and those memories were just going to keep popping up leaving me confused. I had to know what he was to me. What had been to me.

I still sat in the back, I wasn't ready to set up front so close to him, and some other girl had already sat there. I think we just traded deaths. For most of his class, I hype myself up. Telling myself that if I wanted any answers to what these memories were I need to talk to him. The thing that kept pushing me down was that I already knew what these memories were and what they meant. I just knew more about our past life than I did.

I patiently wait for the rest of the small line of students he had to finish their business in then wait until the door closes before speaking," I need to talk to you about these memories."

As I say this professor Don Quixote smiles at me looking relieved that I'm speaking to him,"Ocean, so glad you came back to class."

He was acting so formal, like a teacher. I mean he was my teachers, but in that kiss, he hadn't been. What was he talking to me like this? .i said something about it,"I was only gone for a day and stop acting like that ."

" Like what ?", he played dumb.

" Like you didn't kiss me or try to strip me ."

" I would never do such a thing, " The gleam in his eye told me otherwise and I began to get mad," You're my student Ocean ."

" I wasn't all your student ." I snap."

" Oh,", he questions raising a thin brow," And what exactly were you then ?"

I take a deep breath and let it out,"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. You seem to know a lot more about that life then I do."

" So you are admitting it ."

" Admitting to what? Listen I just need to know about these memories alright, " the anger in my voice disappears as I plead," So just tell me who was, please."

Professor Don Quixote doesn't answer me right away. he stands up from his desk, a smaller cheaper one than the one in his office, braces his hands across the top and leans closer to me," That demands on how you ask ocean ."

Though I don't like how close the two of us is I stand my ground and don't back away. In Fact, I mimic his actions and now we're so close. I notice how one eye is classier than the other and it makes me think of the first time I noticed this. I ignore the memory, the kiss, so that can focus on the matter at hand," I'm asking you ."

" Well, you were a lot of things to me. Close things. An ally, a friend, we were fuck buddies for a stint ….The last thing you wear to me was a wife."

" When-", I'm at a loss for words and I spoke before I think," We were married?"

Don Quixote shrugs," not legally. but we both took vows, had a little ceremony by the sea, even had rings ."

My mind's reeling again as it had been often lately. I try to not get so freaked out this time. I try to look at this from a third point of view. I remember how I researched reincarnation. Was that what we were? Reincarnated lovers? I then remember the famous pirate that shares his name, I don't even remember reading about a wife.

Again without thinking, I ask," Are we - no, Are you him ?"

" Him who?", professor Don Quixote raised a brow.

" The pirate," I stop and swallow these familiar and unwanted feelings welling up. I'm doing a good job. I just need to hold out a little longer before freaking out.

Don Quixote smiles now," You mean that pirate that had the same name as me? What do you think Ocean ?"

" I -I think he didn't have a wife. I know he didn't have a wife. I looked you-him up . it never said anything about a wife or a lover."

Something dark, maybe even hurtful was swimming around in his eye, only the one, as he tells me slowly," Ocean you were someone that history wanted to forget."

I feel my stomach drop a little and that seems to be the breaking point for me because I have to back away from the desk. Had I really been that sort of person? That horrible of a person? I remind myself that whoever I was in a past life isn't who I was now. It's not working.

I blink a few times feeling my eyes getting watery. No .No. No. I was doing so good not freaking out by this past life thing. I thought that after a week of having this knowledge stewing in my mind all week I get over, but here I was about to cry in ort of my economics professor who was my husband in a past life in which I was some horrible person. fuck, I was pathetic. I couldn't even pinpoint about to cry.

Professor Don Quixote notices this and moves around the desk. His face softens and he's concerned now. I'm crying in his empty classroom. And don't even know why. Was it because of all this stuff about reincarnation? Was getting too real? was it because I was a horrible, unspeakable person in this past life? Or was it because I was having those unwanted feeling about my professor.

" Ocean?"

Professor Don Quixote had his hands on my shoulders and is staring down at me. His hands are warm. And this close I can smell his cologne, It's not too strong, but it's not too natural either. I want to lean into him and smother my face in his baby blue shirt. I shouldn't do that though, I shouldn't want to do that with my professor. here I was thought sleeping slower and do just that.

Don Quixote doesn't push my way either. His arms slink down and worm their way around my waist. He holds me close to him and I to him bury my face into his chest softly sniffling. None of this is making scenes. I still don't know who I was in the past life. I didn't know why I still felt these feelings for Don Quixote. He wasn't telling me either.

" why-why won't you just tell me ." Is muffed by his shirt.

Professor Don Quixote is quiet for a moment, but not a long one," Because... I thought you would remember on your own ..they should all come back right after the first one ."

I pul way a little so that I can look up at him . he had this confused and worried expression all over his face. It Made me feel the same way.

" Are," I sniff and go to wipe my water eye with the back of my head Don Quixote beats me to it. His hand move back up my body and cup my face. He used his thumb to wipe under my eyes. I reach my shake hands up to put them over his larger ones and try again." Are you talking about these memories."

He nods eagerly," Yes, form a past life. You had one when we kissed right?"

" 'We' didn't kiss. you kissed me, and yes .", I answer him feel a small blush heat my face.

" Then they should all have come back by know…", There was that worried tone again.

" Well, they haven't. "

" How much do you remember ?"

" I've only had three of these memories and they've never been long ."

Don Quixote looks hurt and I feel bad, but it's not my fault that I've only had three, " Only three?"

I nod," Yes, you can see why I'm kinda - really confused…..," I look down not being able to look at him when I ask," Was I really such a horrible person in the past that I was marked out from it ?"

" Well, not exactly. You wear a criminal by the government's standards, but not because you were actually evil or anything, that was more if my territory. "

"Then why did they erase me like that ?"

Don Quixote shrugs," Because the people in power at the time wanted it that way."

His answer was too vague for my liking," But why did they do that ?"

He shrugs again begin to stroke my check which his thumb," Only the people who decided it was best to keep out of recorded history know that ."

I sign dropping my shoulders," And those people are probably already long dead."

"Fufufu, don't look so upset. we finally have each other back ."

The smile he shows me makes my stomach flutter. How did I have these sort feelings for a man I barely knew? I shouldn't even be this close to him, holding my hands over his staring into his eyes. It was inappropriate because he was my teacher. He wasn't always my teacher though. He was my husband apparently.

" What is it ?", He asks after I had been silent for too long.

" Honestly ?"

" Complete transparency ."

I drop my hand then step back out of his reach. I shrug and attempt to explain," I don't know Like everything is so confusing right now and no matter how hard I try to sort things out in my head it doesn't work. I Have these feeling for you and there's stuff about you that feels so familiar to me but you're my teacher and, like, a complete stranger to me. I shouldn't have these feeling for someone like that ...but I do and I don't know what to do.

" Then let's start with not being strangers .", Professor Don Quixote says taking step towards me then takes my hands in his . he seems happy. I guess because I've finally admitted that these memories are real and that we shared a life together.

I don't trust him though. I don't know him, yet. This distrust cause s me to ask skeptically," And how do you suppose we go about that ?"

" Well since physical attempts seem to scare you off…", He teases," I guess we'll just have to set down and talk, a lot, preferably over drinks ."

" I can do talking, but privately. I don't want people to get any ideas.", I nod ten quickly add," Also just because I'm admitting having feeling for you doesn't mean I have feelings for you. Does that make sense?"

He looks a little disappointed and nods, " For our peculiar situation I think it does, but can you do one thing for me ?"

" That depends on what it is," I say afraid that he might ask me to kiss and even more afraid that I would want to comply.

" Don't call me Don Quixote. "

" That should I call you but your first name ?"

He shakes his head," Do you remember what you used to call me ?"

I think back to the few member memories I've had before answering," Doffy?"

He shows me that softest, happiest smile again and I asked myself what I'm getting myself into. I can't help but smile back and resist the urge to kiss that smile.