A Relaxing Vacation…
Gone Wrong!
Fanfic by Amphitrite
It's summer vacation. Lei decides to take her muses on a vacation to thank them for all they've inspired her to do. Uh…not the best decision in the world. It's disaster, chaos, mayhem, and hilariousness!
Pairings: This will be yaoi/yuri, so if you don't like, LEAVE. Some het MAY be involved…
Authoress Notes: New story, new idea! For those of you new to my humor, I AM LEI. ^^ For those of you who have read Conversations, I hope you'll like this too (it has a plot…kinda). Enjoy!
Warnings: It's short. Sorry!
- - - - -
Lei is sitting at her desk, which is crammed with piles of writing notebooks, fanart binders, quills, pens, and vacation brochures.
Lei: [is randomly flipping through a brochure for a cruise to Hawaii] [sighs pathetically] Where are we supposed to go?
Yugi: [walks into the room] [stands next to Lei] [perkily] Hey, Lee-lee!
Lei: [dully] Don't call me that.
Yugi: [perkily] Whatcha doing?
Lei: [dully] Planning our vacation.
Yugi: Still?
Lei: [sighs] Yeah…it's kind of hard to find somewhere for thirteen insane people to go, you know?
Yugi: Oh yeah.
Lei: [frowns as she flips through another brochure] [mutters] No beaches with slutty bimbos, no gambling places for the yamis, no dehydrating deserts…eesh! There's nowhere to go!! [sighs again] [desperately] Where are we going to go?!?!?
Yugi: …I don't know.
Lei: [grouchily] When did I ask you?
Yugi: [bottom lip quivers]
Lei: [blinks] [reaches down to hug Yugi] Sorry, Yugi-kun! I really need help, though!!
Bakura: [pops in] Hello, Ms. Authoress.
Lei: [hisses] Miss.
Bakura: [blinks] [repeats] Hello, Ms. Authoress.
Lei: [scowls] I don't need your insults now, Bakky-chan…
Bakura: Are you saying that you need my insults? [pauses] Wait! Bakky-chan?
Lei: [offhandedly] It's a new nickname I picked up.
Yugi: [giggles]
Lei: ANYWAY, I STILL NEED IDEAS!!
Bakura: Don't worry! I am Bakura, the super-smart evil genius!
Dramatic music plays.
Lei: [snaps fingers] I knew I needed to get that radio fixed.
Yugi: So, Bakura, what's your great idea?
Bakura: [thinks for a moment] Uhh…umm…lemme think about that…just a moment…[frowns] What was the problem again?
Lei and Yugi: [sweatdrop]
Lei: I need a place to take you guys for vacation.
Bakura: Err…
Lei: [sigh] I knew you wouldn't know either.
Bakura: Hey! I never said I didn't know! I'm just…thinking about it. Yeah.
Yugi: [rolls eyes playfully]
Lei: [grips hair] [screams] I FREAKIN' NEED A PLACE TO GO!!!
Serenity: [comes in] Did I hear correctly? You're going away? Yay!
Lei: [glares] No! I need a place to take you guys for vacation. How many times do I have to repeat this?!?!?
Yugi: [matter-of-factly] Thirty seven billion, two hundred million, four hundred seventy six thousand, nine hundred fifty one times.
Others: …
Yugi: [smiles]
Lei: [exasperatedly] You're not helping! [stomps out of the room]
Two seconds later…
Lei: [comes back in] [brightly] I have an idea! [sits down at her desk and grabs her phone] [dials a VERY long number] [into the mouthpiece] Hi, I'd like to speak to Bob please.
Bakura: [raises eyebrow] Bob?
Serenity: [nods] He's the FAR.
Yugi: The far?
Serenity: F-A-R. Fanfiction Announcer of Reviews. FAR.
Lei: [to phone] Hia, Bob-san! It's Lei. I'd leik toa btroadcas aa weorldwide atnnouncemen! Fmro nwo ulnti ntex Syaturda, rseviewer aer weelcome toa stubmi weher tyhe wtan mea toa teak teh msuse. Soa tlel tmhe toa rwevie NWO adn stubmi trhei isdea beecause Ia ama cyompletel otu ofa tmhe! Tshankie. Oyka. See yaa. Bey.
(Translation: Hi, Bob-san! It's Lei. I'd like to broadcast a worldwide announcement! From now until next Saturday, reviewers are welcome to submit where they want me to take the muses. So tell them to review NOW and submit their ideas because I am completely out of them! Thankies. Okay. See ya. Bye.)
Lei: [hangs up, smiling widely]
All: [blink]
Bakura: What the hell were you saying?
Lei: Authoria. Duh. [rolls eyes] EVERYONE knows that.
Yugi: Okaaay…
Serenity: So where are we going?
Lei: Didn't you hear a word I said??
All: [in unison] We didn't understand it!!
Lei: [slowly] …Ohhhhh…well, the reviewers are going to pick!
Bakura: [hesitantly] Um. That's not a good thing, is it?
Yugi: [shudders] They're going to pick nice places and are going to make Lee-lee write horrifying plots that she will actually enjoy writing…
(A/n: [cackles] That's right!)
Lei: Hey, at least it has a plot! Which is not usually a good thing…but… [pauses] Oh yeah. AND DON'T CALL ME LEE-LEE!
Bakura: Okay. Lee-lee.
Lei: [threateningly] If you say that one more time, MR. BAKURA, I'm going to rip your spinal cord out of you, tie it in a knot, burn it to ashes, use a knife and cut out what you have left of a heart and brain, and make them into donuts!!
All: -__-;;
Bakura: Lee-lee.
Lei: AUGH!! [storms out angrily muttering about ungrateful muses]
Bakura: HA! I knew she wouldn't do it!
Yugi: …what if she did?
Bakura: *___*
Serenity: No, it's more like this. X_x
Bakura: x__x
- - - - -
End notes: Yes! That's right! YOU get to pick where I'm going to take the muses!! ^^ Fun, ne?
Yami: No, not really.
Me: [scowls] When did I ask you?
Yami: You didn't.
Me: Exactly!
Yami: …Huh?
Me: [sweatdrop]
Here's how it works. When you send in your reviews, pick the top three places you want me to take them!! Thankies.
Oh and sorry about the chapter being so short. It is just a beginning, you know. I need to have a place to go before I write about the trip, right? [grins] Review!
Signing off…Amphitrite