Disclaimer: I don't own Redwall. Now you can't sue me! Hah!

Mali: ....It's my very first fic ever! (Confetti bombs explode while noise makers twirl) That made me feel special! (Clears throat) So please, when and if you review, think how you felt as a poor little beginning writer, just starting out! Yes, that's how I feel. Me. ME! HAHAHA! Anyway, on with the show. Er, presentation... story. No, fic. Yeah, that's right. Fic.

Sunflash the Mace's Halloween Sleepover Chapter 1 - The Long Drive

It was October. It was also Halloween.

And Halloween was that day that Sunflash the Mace was having a big, huge sleepover for a bunch of Redwall characters. It was going to be tremendous fun! The guests had to come in costume, there was going to be scary movies, and best of all, they were going to go trick-or-treating!

Plus many other fun things!

Oh, yes, it was going to be tremendously fun!

So much fun!

Yes, the most fun anyone ever had.

Holy pie it was going to be fun.

And not just fun.

It was also going to be amusing, diverting, entertaining, fantastic, marvelous, excellent, splendid, enjoyable, wonderful, terrific, great, good, thoughtful, extraordinary, amazing, astonishing, awe-inspiring, astounding and surprisingly late.

And not just amusing, diverting, entertaining, fan-

"Can the story actually start?" asked Fordpetal, who despite what Brian Jacques told us, was not dead.

Certainly. I'll start it now.

Sunflash danced about excitedly. "THE GUESTS'LL BE GETTING HERE SOON! YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!"

"Calm down, Sire!" sighed Sandgall in exasperation. "You aren't in costume yet!"

"OH, MY GOLLY GOSH!" screamed Sunflash, racing up to his room, making the whole mountain shake.

"EARTHQUAAAAAAAAAKE!" shrieked Bradders. "GET UNDER A TABLE OR DOORFRAME, IT'S THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE!"

"SHUT UP, BRADDERS!" yelled everyone.

"Well! Excuse me for not wanting us all to DIE a painful, painful death." snapped Bradders indignantly.

Meanwhile.....

"Thanks, Mr. Schmoe." said Martin, climbing out of a taxi and handing the guy his fee.

He looked across the platform, and lo and behold, he saw....

"Rose!" he cried.

Rose looked up from her Better Homes and Gardens magazine. "Martin!" she replied, getting up and running over to him.

"Rose." he sighed happily, looking down at her.

"Martin." she smiled.

"Rose."

"Martin."

"Rose."

"Martin."

"Rose."

"Martin."

"Rose..."

"Martin...."

"Rose...."

"Martin...."

"Rose...."

"Martin...."

Matthias looked at Cornflower. "Now why can't we be like that?" he snapped.

"Because you're an over-bearing pig of a mouse!"

"Hah!" said Matthias triumphantly. "You just called me a P-I-G. That stands for Pretty Intelligent Girl!"

"Do you realise what you just said?" Cornflower replied.

"Ah...." Matthias thought, then it struck him. "Oh, my, God! I look like a pansy now!"

"Yes, you do." smirked Cornflower.

Matti turned to Gonflet. "I live in a broken home."

Gonflet patted him on the pack. "There, there. There, there." he said he said in a flat tone.

"I wasn't whingeing."

"Yeah, sure..." was the sarcastic response.

Another taxi pulled up, and out stepped Slagar, carrying his orange backpack.

Matti waved. "Yo, Slagar! How's the chickens?"

"They died." said the fox sullenly.

Matti didn't reply. Probably because he had rudely opened up a jar of applesauce and began eating.

Suddenly, a gazillion bagillion random vermin rocked up in an extremely large mini bus (does that make sense?).

Martin noted this, then came over. "Hey, Matthias, you know what?!" he said excitedly.

"No, what?"

Martin cracked a skateboard over his head. "Rose is MAH girlfriend! So you keep away!"

Matthias sat there, bruised and confused. "Wha-"

"MINE!" screamed Martin hysterically, turning red with rage.

"Okay, okay! Sheesh!"

Gonff turned away, looking at the river.

"Gee, what a beautiful day!" he sighed. Then he turned around, and everyone saw that he was in fact....

RICK FORRESTER!

Suddenly, Martin woke up, screaming from the horrible dream!

"OH MY GOD! THAT WAS SCARY!" he shrieked.

Veil looked up from packing his black traveling bag. "What was?" he asked.

"The dream...... the dream!" said the warrior, shaking in fear.

"Not the Rick Forrester/train station one again...." sighed Rose.

"Yeah. How did you know?" asked Martin, surprised.

"Never mind." sighed Rose again.

Veil went back to packing. "Hey, who took my P.J shirt?" he asked.

"Was it the black one?"

"Yes."

".... I put it through the shedder! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Gonff, hurling himself into the pond.

"Okaaay...." said Bryony.

"What. The. Hell. Was. That?" asked Veil, then screamed, "HEY! MY SHIRT IS A USELESS MASS OF MATERIAL NOW!"

"Here's another one." said Bryony, handing him one.

"But it's shade 43 in black! The pants are shade 43 and a half! THEY WON'T MATCH!" protested Veil.

Bryony sighed. "Do you want to wear your dad's instead?" she asked, holding a pair of yellow silk pajamas up.

Veil shuddered. "No."

Skipperjo (from Outcast of Redwall) then walked in, wearing a considerably strange hat and suit, while Gonff climbed out of the pond.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" asked Gonff.

"Justin Timberlake." replied Skipperjo, dancing around in a circle.

Everyone shuddered.

"I can't tell you who I'm going as." said Rose.

"Aw, how come?" whined Gonff.

"Because it's a secret! Is that UNDERSTOOD?!" hissed Rose, going all scary-like.

Gonff whimpered, covering his head with his paws and bowing. "Yes, your highness!"

Martin put a paw on her shoulder. "Rose, what did I say to think when evil thoughts came into your head?"

"Sunshine and rainbows makes me happy!" squealed Rose.

"Yes, now you run along a play with balloons." Martin said kindly.

"Yay!" yelled Rose, running off somewhere else.

They watched her run off, in complete and utter silence.

"Did you take her dagger off her?" asked Veil finally.

Martin gasped, then collected himself. "Uh, yes.... I did.... I have to..... go and..... get...... the dagger... from Rose now...." He then sprinted off.

Gonff blinked. "Is it just me, or did that in no way cover up the truth?"

"It's just you." said Bryony. Everyone nodded.

Except Matthias.

"Can I just say something?" he asked.

"Do you have to?" asked Rose impatiently.

"Yes."

"Alright, then. But be quick."

"Well, why is it that I'm dead, yet Sunflash is still ruling Salamandastron?" Matthias said.

Everyone considered this. He had a very good point.

Skipperjo spoke up. "Yeah, well, why do remote controls have buttons?"

Matthias looked pityingly at the otter. "To push, stupid."

Skipperjo burst into hysterical tears. "YEAH, BE LIKE THAT! EVER SINCE THOSE VEIL FANS DISCOVERED I THREW HIM OUT THE GATES, I'VE JUST BEEN BOMBARDED WITH HATE MAIL AND LETTER BOMBS...."

Sometime later, on a mini-van....

"... BUT NO! THEN I WAS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN! NO ONE GAVE A DAMN ABOUT ME, I'M JUST SOME LITTLE SIDE CHARACTER WHO ABUSES CHILDREN...."

Matthias turned to Martin. "When's he gonna shut up?"

Martin sighed. "I hope it's soon."

Some more time later, still on the mini-van that is making it's way to Salamandastron....

"... IT TOOK ME THREE YEARS TO GET OUT OF THAT CORRECTION CENTER, AND PEOPLE STILL COME UP TO ME IN THE STREET AND SMACK ME IN THE FACE! IT'S NOT MY FAULT, BRIAN JACQUES WROTE MY CHARACTER! AND NOW I'LL NEVER BE HAPPY......"

Even more time later, in the same place....

"...WELL, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IN MY PLACE? NOT TOO GREAT, THAT'S WHAT! IT'S NOT LIKE I WANTED TO BE A LITTLE ANNOYANCE....." raged Tagg/Deyna, as Skipperjo sipped water.

"You're doing a great job, Tagg! Keep it up. Pretty soon you'll be able to pass off as me." encouraged Skipperjo.

".... Is that good or bad?" asked Veil.

"Shut- uh, I mean, that's bad, my little ferrety friend!" said Skipperjo, cringing.

"I have a huge headache." sighed Veil in annoyance. "And we're not even there yet!"

"Dear God." Martin replied, smacking his head on the car door.

Gonff was sitting in the back, reading the book adaptation of American Pie. He shook his head sadly. "Martin, I don't understand how you can live without seeing this movie."

"Mum and Dad say not 'til I actually learn what it's about...." muttered Martin angrily. "It's about squashed fruit in a pastry that comes from the USA!"

Everyone stared, shaking their heads at his ignorance.

"Martin, it's about....." Gonff whispered something in his ear.

Martin blinked, then burst into tears. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Four hours later

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"This is your fault, Gonff!!!" screamed Rose, pointing an accusing claw. "Now he just won't shuttup!"

"Hey, don't blame me! It's his fault!" Gonff cried, pointing at Swartt.

"Wha-?" said Swartt.

"DIE, SWARTT!" screamed Rose, diving on him, and proceeding to beat the living daylights out of him.

"Help me, son! Help!" yelled Swartt.

Veil considered this. "Hmm..... nope."

"WHAT?!"

"I said nope. You go to hell, dad! You go to hell and you die!" snapped Veil, curling up in a ball and turning away, refusing to speak to anyone for forty-five point four seconds.

Forty-five point four seconds later....

"C'MONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" screamed Veil, for no apparent reason, doing the Vitsch.

By this time, everyone was traveling in their Halloween costumes. Skipperjo, as you all know, was Justin Timberlake. Swartt was Joey Fatone. Veil had possibly the loudest costume of all... Lleyton Hewitt (Cue evil music). Martin, ever the confused one, was going as Sting. Gonff was going as Sid Vicious, and Matti as Eminem. Matthias was attending the festivities as a pumpkin.... that was slightly mouse looking. Rose was Avril Lavigne. Cornflower was a singer who will only be described as Alicia Keys. And finally, Bryony was dressed as that scary girl, Christina Aguilera (Shudder).

Four minutes later....

Gonff slapped the book down. "Well, that was pretty alright. It wasn't as good as a movie..... but still, it wasn't bad..."

"Gonff no one really gives a damn!" sighed Veil, rolling his eyes.

Gonff hung his head, tears forming in his eyes. "B-but it mattered to me....." he sobbed.

Everyone ignored him. Gonff often burst into tears when he was shunned into a corner.

Rose and Swartt were still fighting, and Veil had turned his cap backwards. "G'day, mate! My name is Lleyton Hewitt.... C'MONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

"Shut UP Veil!" cried Matti.

"You shut up, rapper-boy!"

"Fine! Be like-"

"Matti! Be mature, for God's sake! You're fourteen, it's time to stop crying!" snapped his mother.

"Can I cry if you die?"

"NO! NO SIT IN YOUR SEAT AND EAT YOUR CASHEWS!" roared Cornflower.

"Look! I didn't ASK to be written, okay!" shot back Matti, throwing his bowl down, scattering nuts everywhere.

Cornflower began to sob. "What did I do to deserve this? I mean, a Skipperjo gets more respects than me!"

"Hi." said Skipperjo, waving.

"I mean, all I ever did was love you all too much and....."

Three hours later......

".... and I just love you! Each and everyone of you!" finished Cornflower.

She then realised that the car was parked, everyone was walking up to Salamandastron and she was all alone.

"Oh, that's IT! They're not having me at their party! I don't care how much they beg and scream!" snapped Cornflower, picking up Gonff's book and opening it reading.

Matthias reached out and knocked the door-knocker nervously. "What if-"

"Shut up, Matthias." said everyone.

The door creaked opened, creakily.

END CHAPTER 1

- Who opened the door?

- Will Cornflower get her revenge?

- What is Sunflash's costume?

- Where is Basil Stag-Hare?

- Why are you still here?

- I mean, you have a life, not like me, why don't you go live it?

- Go on, I dare you!

- No! I wasn't serious! Don't' leave....

- I'm so lonely.....

All this and more, next time.... on Sunflash The Mace's Halloween Sleepover (Duh.).