Disclaimer: Shut up.
Spoilers: Pusher!! And Tooms.
A/N: I love Pusher. I think it is when they fell in love. I only scratch the surface of that here though. The ending of this doesn't have the finality I would like, but oh well. I'm sick. Cut me some slack. Didn't proof this. Too lazy.
"Let's not let him take up anymore of our time," she said softly, letting his hand drop from hers. She turned and left the room and in a few minutes he followed her.
They stepped out into the wet parking lot and walked slowly to their fleet sedan, her eyes on him and his eyes on the ground. She reached for his hand again and managed to link her finger with his.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm okay, Scully."
She slid her fingers through his giving them a little squeeze.
"Talk to me, Mulder."
He sighed.
"Can I just process this for a little bit?"
"Of course. Just don't forget to talk to me, okay?"
"Scully..."
"Mulder, we have to talk about it at some point. A lot happened today. It would be nice to decompress together for once."
"Decompress? You think that's all we need to do? Scully, I almost killed you."
"No you didn't. You told me to run."
He dropped her hand and grabbed her shoulders roughly, staring at her with a panicked look in his eyes. She stared right back at him, his anger not affecting her much.
"I almost KILLED you, Scully. Don't downplay that. That bullet would have taken your life. Do you realize that? It would be you in that hospital bed, not Modell. You would have died, just like your sister did."
Here eyes were brimming with tears again, but she held them back. He didn't need to see how deeply this affected her. He would assume that meant that her trust in him had wavered.
"Mulder," she began, grasping his wrists firmly. "You didn't shoot me. You told me to run. You protected me even when someone else was directing your behavior. You care about me that much that you would be stronger than him. It says a lot about you and it's not bad."
"You're not scared of me?"
"I have no reason to be. You've proved yourself. You'd never let anything happen to me."
"I couldn't live with it if something happened, Scully."
"Neither could I. Which is why it upsets me that it was so easy for you to pull the trigger against yourself. You don't even care about yourself as much as you care about me?"
His eyes became dark and he gently pushed her against their car.
"Of course I do, Scully," he muttered, leaning down to kiss her. "Do you think I'm that much of a narcissist?"
She barely caught her breath before he kissed her again. Deeper this time and more forceful. She couldn't help wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer as she felt his hands grasp her coat and pull her towards him as well. She sighed against his mouth and he pulled away quickly, causing her eyes to snap open.
"I'm sorry, Scully. That was..."
"It was unexpected."
"I didn't-"
"You're not allowed to regret a kiss like that, Mulder," she said quickly, reaching her hand up to touch his face.
"Scully, I didn't mean to... I mean, I just wanted to... geez."
"It's alright Mulder. I already know. We're on the same page."
"We are?"
"I thought so. Maybe I'm misreading you."
"I guess we need to talk."
"I'll drive," she offered, holding her hand out for the keys. He handed them to her and smiled a little.
"Your place or mine?"
"Mine. I have coffee. Plus, I haven't been home all day and Queequeg is going to need a walk."
He rolled his eyes as they got into the car.
"Yippy little fur ball."
"Hey, be nice. He likes you."
"He looks like an Ewok."
"He's cute."
"Whatever, Scully."
They sat side by side on the couch, Queequeg snoring on the floor at their feet. There were 2 cups of coffee cooling on the table, but neither one had reached for one yet.
"Mulder," she began, turning to face him.
"I love you," he answered, not even blinking.
"What?"
"I love you, Scully. I've known it for a long time, but today made me realize how much I needed to tell you."
"Mulder-"
"I'm not asking for you to say it back or for anything to change. I just needed you to know."
She was quiet for a moment, just staring at him.
"I don't know what to say, Mulder."
"You don't have to say anything."
"I love you too, you know."
"You don't have to-"
"Why? I love you. Did you think I didn't?"
"I guess so."
"How could you not know? I thought sticking with you and sticking up for you and being there for you and dropping everything for you and taking care of you and everything else I do would have tipped you off. But apparently not."
"Maybe I did know. I guess I just never thought about it."
She sighed and settled into the couch.
"We're certainly something else, aren't we?"
"We have zero communication skills."
"Zero," she agreed, nodding her head. He sighed and leaned his head back against the couch, then turned to face her.
"What are we going to do, Scully?"
"About what?"
"Our communication problem. We can't even say something as simple and obvious as I love you."
"Well, maybe we just don't need to say it. Maybe it's self preservation of some kind. You've heard the stories of partners who get too close and it affects their work."
"Old wives tale."
"Makes sense."
"Maybe."
She reached over and patted his hand.
"Oh well."
"Oh well what?"
"It's just that everything was fine before today. It was perfect. And now we've said these things and after everything that happened today, I'm just wondering if everything will go back to normal."
"It's not normal?"
"I've just never been in a situation where saying 'I love you' hasn't changed things."
"Welcome to the adult world of platonic relationships."
"Mulder my friend, that kiss back there was anything but platonic."
His face blushed and she cheered herself for taking the upper hand.
"Well, you weren't very platonic in return, were you?"
"Way to level the playing field. But as I recall, I wasn't the one pushing my partner up against a car. You started it, Mulder."
"You didn't tell me not to."
"I couldn't. You were... you were in the way!"
He grinned.
"It wasn't a bad kiss was it?"
"Quite the opposite actually."
"Can I do it again?"
"Mulder."
He gave her the same look he had given her just a few years ago when she had brought him the root beer instead of the iced tea.
"Maybe in a few years, after we've saved the world, we can explore the less professional facets of our relationship."
"Agent Scully..."
"I just don't want to get distracted from what's important. I have a feeling you could be extremely distracting."
"Are you flirting with me?"
"Having a gun trained on you really loosens your inhibitions."
"Apparently."
She smiled and yawned.
"Do you at least feel better?"
"Yeah. You were right, it was good to talk about it."
She nodded and laced her fingers through his as her eyes started to close.
"I should go so you can go to bed. It's getting late."
"Why don't you stay here tonight? I don't want you driving."
"Why?"
"You might go into shock."
"If I was going to go into shock I would have already."
"Okay. Then you can take the fleet sedan tonight and I'll see you in the morning."
"Scully, I can stay if you want."
"No, go home and get some rest."
"Are we okay, Scully?"
"We're just fine."
"Even about the kiss?"
"Mulder, under normal circumstances that probably wouldn't have happened, no matter how much we liked it. Let's not make it a huge deal."
"Okay. Goodnight, Scully."
"Night."
He stood from the couch, then leaned down to kiss her forehead. When he pulled away, he swore he saw a smile.