Story 1
A Court of traps
"Ah, shit!" said Luke Interstorm to the spaceport captain "My engine's precisely burnt out!" He piloted at old clunker called the INTERSTLLAR STAR WIND, a grappler / fighter ship used in the Blown Wars and something now only a grappler ship, but quietly in fine condition. He hoped to get re- stocked after he found out its registration number. "Well, it will take at least four hours to get you a new one," replied the captain. Just then Luke's videophone went off. He picked up the transceiver and a shadowy voice came through it, "Luke Interstorm, you have been registered to the four hundredth court case on the planet Shindoromula. Try to get there as soon as possible." CLICK, that's the sound a videophone makes when you've just been cut off, it's also the sound that Luke had been hearing for the past few days now as he was trying to get a lawyer for his case. He had only just managed to find one, but only for a day. His name was Lawrence. Lawrence did him a favour; he had fitted the INTERSTELLAR STARWIND with some really good guns, in return for a ride to Shindoromula, which Luke knew was a bargain. He finally got to the case, but strangely enough, it was on a deserted fairground! "Like that's going to scare me you assholes," he muttered to himself. When he walked in, he got ambushed straight away by a bunch of humanoid androids. "Fuckin' get away from me you Bitches!" he shouted as the androids aimed their weapons at his throat. Suddenly a huge firework display coming from the other room distracted them all, you see, androids really do have eyes on the back of their heads, except they are really sensitive! They all started screaming robotically and something grabbed Luke by the neck and pulled him to safety inside his ship. When he got a good look at the thing that saved him, he realised that it was a woman, a very round one aswell! She took off her mask and said, "I am Georgina, a former princess. I heard that a man called Luke Interstorm was going to a court case on my home planet Shindoromula, which is you isn't it?" "Sure it's me, but I'm still wondering-," his sentence was cut short by a really loud BOOM emitting from the court hall. "It sounds like the androids have worked out what were up to back here!" Luke said. "Time to see what this baby can do!" He jumped into the pilot seat, while Georgina hopped into the back-up control system. "Hey, how come you know what you're doing?" asked Luke. She only had time to say, "Because we built it" before the hatch closed. "Alright. Next stop, Hofang!" said the ship's computer, Herbert. "Luke, watch out! Enemies are coming from behind!" shouted Georgina from behind him. Luke turned around and saw that she was naked! "Do you really think that this is a good time to get naked?" asked Luke. "Shoot you dope!" screamed Georgina. Luke turned the guns on the ship to point at the androids and blasted them all the way to the road to hell! "HAVE A NICE TRIP YOU BASTARDS, AND DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!" Luke shouted triumphantly. "Luke, can we leave now?" Herbert said impatiently. "Do whatever you want!" Luke replied. "We have arrived in Hofang. I will get refuelled and repainted while you to try to find something to do," said Herbert. Luke and Georgina sat down on a park bench not far from the most expensive restraunt in town, the Wodo Komodo. "I have a few questions to ask you, Georgina. Firstly, how do you know me, secondly, why did you save me, and finally, how do you know so much about the ship?" said Luke. "Firstly, I needed some parts for my ship but I thought I should come with you as you will probably need a woman around, secondly, because you obviously couldn't beat all those androids and thirdly, like I told you, we built it, well my ancestors did, does that answer your questions?" It obviously did, as he asked her to go to the restraunt with him to fill themselves up, as they wouldn't be stopping until they reached the universal space race all the way at Frondo. By the time they had finished it was nearly twelve' o'clock at night! They had given Herbert so much time he had stocked up on food aswell. The colour he had chosen was, in fact, Red!!! "Okay, time to get moving to Frondo. Georgina, Luke, you will have to sleep in the same quarters as you didn't give me enough time to install a second one," "That's fine with me!" Luke said. He had been looking forward to seeing what Georgina was like in bed. That night, Luke found out that she was entitled to choose anyone as her husband whenever she wanted to, and she chose Luke! When they finally arrived on Frondo, it took ages to register the INTERSTELLAR STARWIND in the race, as they had to get it a registration number. When they were finally ready, they had to wait four days until they could actually go.
"Ah, shit!" said Luke Interstorm to the spaceport captain "My engine's precisely burnt out!" He piloted at old clunker called the INTERSTLLAR STAR WIND, a grappler / fighter ship used in the Blown Wars and something now only a grappler ship, but quietly in fine condition. He hoped to get re- stocked after he found out its registration number. "Well, it will take at least four hours to get you a new one," replied the captain. Just then Luke's videophone went off. He picked up the transceiver and a shadowy voice came through it, "Luke Interstorm, you have been registered to the four hundredth court case on the planet Shindoromula. Try to get there as soon as possible." CLICK, that's the sound a videophone makes when you've just been cut off, it's also the sound that Luke had been hearing for the past few days now as he was trying to get a lawyer for his case. He had only just managed to find one, but only for a day. His name was Lawrence. Lawrence did him a favour; he had fitted the INTERSTELLAR STARWIND with some really good guns, in return for a ride to Shindoromula, which Luke knew was a bargain. He finally got to the case, but strangely enough, it was on a deserted fairground! "Like that's going to scare me you assholes," he muttered to himself. When he walked in, he got ambushed straight away by a bunch of humanoid androids. "Fuckin' get away from me you Bitches!" he shouted as the androids aimed their weapons at his throat. Suddenly a huge firework display coming from the other room distracted them all, you see, androids really do have eyes on the back of their heads, except they are really sensitive! They all started screaming robotically and something grabbed Luke by the neck and pulled him to safety inside his ship. When he got a good look at the thing that saved him, he realised that it was a woman, a very round one aswell! She took off her mask and said, "I am Georgina, a former princess. I heard that a man called Luke Interstorm was going to a court case on my home planet Shindoromula, which is you isn't it?" "Sure it's me, but I'm still wondering-," his sentence was cut short by a really loud BOOM emitting from the court hall. "It sounds like the androids have worked out what were up to back here!" Luke said. "Time to see what this baby can do!" He jumped into the pilot seat, while Georgina hopped into the back-up control system. "Hey, how come you know what you're doing?" asked Luke. She only had time to say, "Because we built it" before the hatch closed. "Alright. Next stop, Hofang!" said the ship's computer, Herbert. "Luke, watch out! Enemies are coming from behind!" shouted Georgina from behind him. Luke turned around and saw that she was naked! "Do you really think that this is a good time to get naked?" asked Luke. "Shoot you dope!" screamed Georgina. Luke turned the guns on the ship to point at the androids and blasted them all the way to the road to hell! "HAVE A NICE TRIP YOU BASTARDS, AND DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!" Luke shouted triumphantly. "Luke, can we leave now?" Herbert said impatiently. "Do whatever you want!" Luke replied. "We have arrived in Hofang. I will get refuelled and repainted while you to try to find something to do," said Herbert. Luke and Georgina sat down on a park bench not far from the most expensive restraunt in town, the Wodo Komodo. "I have a few questions to ask you, Georgina. Firstly, how do you know me, secondly, why did you save me, and finally, how do you know so much about the ship?" said Luke. "Firstly, I needed some parts for my ship but I thought I should come with you as you will probably need a woman around, secondly, because you obviously couldn't beat all those androids and thirdly, like I told you, we built it, well my ancestors did, does that answer your questions?" It obviously did, as he asked her to go to the restraunt with him to fill themselves up, as they wouldn't be stopping until they reached the universal space race all the way at Frondo. By the time they had finished it was nearly twelve' o'clock at night! They had given Herbert so much time he had stocked up on food aswell. The colour he had chosen was, in fact, Red!!! "Okay, time to get moving to Frondo. Georgina, Luke, you will have to sleep in the same quarters as you didn't give me enough time to install a second one," "That's fine with me!" Luke said. He had been looking forward to seeing what Georgina was like in bed. That night, Luke found out that she was entitled to choose anyone as her husband whenever she wanted to, and she chose Luke! When they finally arrived on Frondo, it took ages to register the INTERSTELLAR STARWIND in the race, as they had to get it a registration number. When they were finally ready, they had to wait four days until they could actually go.