Disclaimer:        I don't own the Sorting Hat or anything Harry Potter related.  Don't sue me.

Explanation for madness:        I was bored.

A/N:  Okay.  The hat can't get the song right on the first try, can it?  Here are the rejected songs.  There will be versions of the two songs that we know plus some of my own.

Reject 1 of First Sorting Hat Song

Oh!  You must think I pretty

But don't just judge on what you see

I'll make you eat me if you can find

A smarter hat than me

You can keep your bowlers black

Your  top hats sleek and tall

But they won't do you any good

Because I cap them all

I'll take a look inside your mind

As empty as they might seem

I'll take that information

And tell where you ought to be

You might belong in Gryffindor

Where I put the ones I like best

You see I belonged to Gryffindor

And so like Gryffindors above the rest

You might belong in Hufflepuff

They don't have any mind

Those stupid Hufflepuffs are rude

And cannot be kind

Or yet in Ravenclaw

Where they spend all their time in the library

Those Ravenclaws don't get any smarter

And are very secondary

Or perhaps in Slytherin

Where you'll probably go rotten

You'll join up with ol' Voldie

Then be forgotten

So put me on!  And be afraid!

Your future's up to me

If I put you in a stinky house (which is any but Gryffindor)

I'm sorry, but that's where you ought to be!