I don't know but, I think I may be
fallin' for you, droppin' so quickly
maybe I should keep this to myself,
wait until I know you better

"Ugh, I just can't wait until Matt comes back," Paige whined for the twenty thousandth time. "I miss him so much."

"Mhmm..." I nodded absently, pretending that cleaning the nacho cheese goo pump took more concentration than the task really required.

"Alex, are you even listening to me?" Damn, she caught me. I glance over at her. She was leaning lazily against the counter, fiddling with her visor. Except for a few stranglers in the lobby, the theatre was empty, everyone watching the last showings for the night. We had about half an hour of downtime, and after we cleaned up, we were free to leave. I was trying to get ahead on this, but Paige vouched for taking her time.

"Yes, Princess, I am listening," I told her, my tone harsher than really intended. "But seeing as Mat is all you ever talk about these days, I am quite frankly annoyed, and have learned to tune the bulk of it out." As soon as the words left my lips, I regretted them. Her face fell, and she looked absolutely crest fallen.

"...Oh. Well, I'm sorry then." Her voice was quiet, and I got the notion that my words had actually hurt her. Which in turn bugged me. I was actually feeling bad for saying something mean to Paige Michalchuk. I know, shocking, right? Less than a year ago, we both thrived on spitting hateful comments back and forth. But now, after working with her and by default actually getting to know her, I found that the status quo between us had changed. Instead of enemies, we were...friends. Real, actual friends, and getting to be good ones at that. It's hard to fathom that happening, and sometimes I wonder how we were able to manage it at all.

I sighed. "No, don't worry about it. That was really insensitive of me. Of course you're going to be excited to see your boyfriend who's been MIA for the last few months." I tossed my rag away and turned to face her. "It's just been a long day and I'm a little bit crabby." I gave her a friendly half-smile to emphasis my sincerity.

There it is again. Me being sincere to Paige. The only time I ever thought to use 'Paige' and 'sincere' in the same sentence was "I sincerely hope Paige falls off the top of the pyramid and breaks her scrawny neck." Things were just so...different, now...

"Well, you are right though," she says, rolling her eyes at herself. "I know how self-absorbed I can be when it comes to guys. I need to be a better friend and learn to shut my mouth once in a while."

"You, shutting your mouth? That'll be the day." I say lightheartedly, smirking. She knows I'm not serious, and that my playful chides are my way of being nice, and smiles at me. It's strange how she manages to actually get me, something most people have no clue about. Wow, I notice not for the first time, she's really pretty when she smiles like that. Not her fake, everyday, plastered on school smile, but the one she uses when she's relaxed and has her defenses down. The one where her eyes get all soft and- woah, woah, what?

Paige walks over and leans on the counter next to me. She nudges my shoulder with hers. "So what are you doing this weekend, Miss Nunez? Any spectacular plans?"

I roll my eyes. "Hardly. I work Friday and Saturday, including the matinee shift. Some lame Ben Stiller comedy is out, so all the boneheaded morons will be gathering, demanding barrels of greasy popcorn and overpriced boxes of candy. I'll be sure to properly glare at Spinner and the and the dumb bunch for both of us since lucky you have the night off." I say the last bit laced with fake annoyance. Her arm is still touching mine. The limb tingles warmly, especially where my skin is in contact with hers. I have no idea what it means. I wonder if she notices. I hope she doesn't. I'd hate for Paige to get the wrong idea.

"Well, my parents are dragging me to some university a good 200 kilometers away, for some open house. Nearly 5 continuous hours in the car with both my mother and father, just to have a look around and say hello. Not particularly worth it, in my opinion, not when we have the handy dandy internet at our disposal for just those purposes." She furrows her eyebrows, grimacing. "I think I'd rather be clad in polyester, getting paid, working here with you."

She looks at me, her eyes all soft again. Hm. I always thought they were blue, but I guess I never really had the chance to examine them properly. They're more of a greenish cobolt, like the colour of the ocean. And as deep as the ocean. I think if I stared long enough, I could fall right into them...Gah! What's wrong with me?? I mentally shook myself and move away, grateful to break contact with her.

'So, um, when does Matt get back exactly?" I already know the answer; like I said, she's been going on about it nonstop for weeks. But I wanted to get her casually chatting again, letting her get wrapped back up in herself, to distract her and get my mind off the weird feelings I've been having lately.

We spend the rest of our shift like this, working and talking about her and Matt Stupidface. I'm not sure why I had so much venom against him. Mr. Oleander had been an alright guy from what I gathered before he was fired, albeit I skipped his class many a time, and the times I went I didn't pay much attention, but he was still okay. Most guys wouldn't sacrifice their entire teaching career for their student love interest. Most people didn't have a girl like Paige, either. Wait, did I say people? That was stupid. I meant guys, boys, men, that flavour. Paige would never consider anything else, like girls or whatever, so saying people was, was, dumb.

Anyway, back to Mr. O. He made Paige happy, so as her friend, I too should be excited for his arrival...right? But I wasn't. And I found myself almost...wait, jealous? Of what? It confused the hell outta me. There was this little voice in the back of my mind that kept telling me she could do better than him, that she SHOULD have better than him, that I could be better than him...

I always got warm and flustered when this last thought popped up, then angry, and shoved it away. But it kept coming back, each time a little bit stronger. It was fucking ridiculous. She didn't even like girls. I didn't even like girls. And I definitely didn't like her. I mean, I liked Paige fine as a friend, duh, but I didn't LIKE her like her...right?

But sometimes, during moments like these, when she's kind and funny and absolutely adorable, I'm not so sure it's in a strictly platonic way. And it scares the shit outta me, especially since I can't seem to get her, or those ideas, out of my head. I just don't know what to do about it. The last time I ever felt remotely close to this was when I started dating Jay. But it's so different from that; with Jay, I liked him because he could be so amazingly charming when he wanted to be and usually showed me a good time...key word being usually.

And with Paige...jeez. She was almost ALWAYS charming, and treated me like an actual person, like I was worth something. We could just talk and hang out and have skittle wars to have fun together. I didn't need sex from her (not that I would ever WANT sex from her, of course. Er, just want to make that clear) to make me feel great.

I wonder what she would do if I ever said anything to her about these confusing emotions. Get weirded out, run away and never speak to me again, most likely. That was something I just didn't want to risk right now, on feelings that were stupid, misleading and meant nothing. Her friendship, it actually meant something to me. It's startling how much. And that's what it would always be. Just friendship. Which was reassuring... except for the unexplainable little jabs in my heart that I felt whenever I tried convincing myself this.

But the butt of the situation was that no matter what, no matter what influence I was under, no matter what circumstances we were in, I was NOT falling for Paige Michalchuck.

Nope.

Not at all..

Not one damn bit...

....

Fuck.

I honestly wish I was a better liar.