One Day
Summary: Grief is a powerful thing. Yuuki knows this. One day, she will examine the things that grieve her at length and learn to deal; but today, she would rather allow herself the distraction of her fiancé. Written for snowywarriors on tumblr.
Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.
The day Yuuki Kuran would be introduced to the rest of vampire society was only a few days away. She had her dress—properly covered by a garment bag and ironed—hung in her wardrobe. Her little kitten heels were broken in completely from repeated wearing around the manor. Her hairstyle and accessories were all picked out. Her date for the ball was already arranged (not that there was ever any doubt who it would be). Everything was as it should be. Except, it wasn't.
It was happening years late; and her mother and father were not here. Haruka and Juuri Kuran were not alive to see their daughter greet the society they governed. No, even that was different. Kaname was now King. She…she wasn't going to be a Princess after tonight. No, tonight marked her as Kaname's Queen. It was all backwards.
Her mother and father should have gifted Kaname the title at a ceremony; she should have been introduced to vampire society earlier as their child. Now, her appearance would be labeled a shock, a scandal. Oh, certainly they wouldn't speak of it in front of her or Kaname; no, they would discuss among themselves whenever they weren't around.
The only thing that would be the same would be the attention. For the entire night, she would be under a microscope. They would search for her parentage in her face and her mannerisms; they would judge her by her appearance and behavior.
While these things made her nervous, it paled in comparison to how she imagined it would feel walking down those stairs and knowing the faces that should be there were missing. The ball to introduce her was important; it was a milestone for parents and their children. Juuri's and Haruka's untimely death had forced them to miss it.
Her father wouldn't be the one to escort her down the stairs; her mother wouldn't be the one to introduce her. Yuuki wouldn't share her first dance with her father before being passed off to her fiancé. The realization that this would be the first of many events her parents couldn't attend robbed her of breath. Her throat seized uncomfortable as tears formed in her eyes.
They would miss her graduation from school.
They would miss her wedding. Her mother wouldn't be there to help her arrange it; she wouldn't be there to help her with her hair, pick out dresses, or tease her about lingerie. Her father wouldn't walk her down the most important aisle of her life; he wouldn't be able to give her away.
These were the thoughts that currently tormented her as she sat at her vanity. Well, it wasn't hers and it was. It was hers only by inheritance. After all, her mother would not be around to use it anymore; but Yuuki could tell that it was valued. Her mother had taken good care of it. Just as she had taken good care of her.
She had loved Yuuki more than this old vanity. Juuri hadn't even thought twice about giving her life so that Yuuki would know happiness and feel sunshine on her face. Yuuki couldn't even begin to know how to feel worthy for that much love. She would have rather her mother, father, and Kaname run with her, instead of losing her mother and father. She would rather them be here now.
A crack split the mirror down the center as her powers threatened to spiral out of control. Yuuki raised one of her hands to her forehead. For a moment, she pushed the grief she felt threatening to overwhelm her away so that she could concentrate on reigning in her abilities. Explosions like these didn't happen often anymore, but her grief was potent. Once her powers were calmed, she lowered her hand. Her eyes focused on the crack in the mirror; and the tears threatened to overflow. She had broken her mother's beloved vanity.
"Are you alright?" She heard. Past the crack, in the rest of the salvageable mirror, she could see Kaname standing in the doorway. "I heard the creaking of the walls in my office." He moved into the room, all grace she was only beginning to maintain, and came to a stop behind her.
"I'm fine," she reassured him, running her fingers through her longer hair. "Something sad just occurred to me." Kaname reached around her and lifted the brush from the vanity table. She felt him run his fingers through her hair before the bristles of the brush touched her scalp.
"Care to share?" He asked as he combed her hair. The gentle feel of the bristles moving through her hair coupled with the stroke of his hand loosened the tension she had felt all morning. It felt so relaxing, so nice, that she didn't dare ask him to stop. A quiet hum escaped her throat as she debated whether or not to tell him. It would surely sadden him as well. As if sensing her thoughts, he glanced up at her through the mirror. Eyes only one tone darker than hers plead with her not to shut him out.
"I was thinking of mother and father…." She admitted quietly. Her eyes focused on him in the mirror. The way his shoulder rolled and his bicep lifted as he played with her hair, the way his eyes seemed to focus on her hair now—as if he sensed that she wouldn't be able to continue if he met her eyes: she took all of him in; and yet, she didn't at the same time. Her focus was divided, but her faster mind seemed to catalogue everything about him despite it. "They should be here…" She murmured.
"They should," Kaname agreed. "Haruka and Juuri would have adored this day."
"It would have happened sooner," Yuuki pointed out. "Likely when I was eight."
"Yes. Your introduction to society would have come at that time," Kaname confirmed. He reached back around her and grabbed a hair tie from the vanity. She felt his fingers dividing and weaving through her hair. He was braiding it. She didn't know he knew how. "It's likely that the ball around this time would have been for our engagement. A celebration of sorts."
"Can't we pretend that we are celebrating our engagement?" Yuuki asked timidly. Kaname's lips quirked into a small grin.
"Are you saying you wish to wear my ring?"
"You have one?" Yuuki asked, shocked. She almost turned to face him, but then remembered his fingers were busy braiding her hair. He would have to start over again if she interrupted him. Kaname's eyes moved from the braid to meet her eyes. His grin turned into a warm smile. Yuuki's heart quickened at the way it lit up his eyes.
"I do," he answered. Yuuki pouted slightly as he turned his eyes back to her hair. "But I will not give it to you now." Her mouth popped open in protest. "After all, whenever I truly ask you, I would rather it not be pretend."
"Oh," Yuuki murmured. She looked away from the mirror at last, back to the vanity top. Kaname had taken one of her blue hair ties to match her blouse. He was always paying attention to things like that; Yuuki supposed she should start as well. She allowed herself to fall into the steady twist of his fingers in her hair to distract her from the grief that still threatened her composure.
"Where did you learn how to braid?" Yuuki asked once it became clear that the silence was not helping her. She felt Kaname's fingers still for a beat, then they began to move again.
"I had a friend whenever I was younger that wore braids often. She taught me," he answered. Yuuki's lips pursed at how careful of an answer that was.
"A girlfriend?" She asked. Kaname chuckled.
"And how, my dear girl, could I have had a girlfriend when my thoughts were so filled of you?" He asked. His tone took on the same teasing light it usually did whenever he felt he had to be careful with his answer.
"Such a charming response. You wouldn't be lying now, would you?" Yuuki returned.
"Jealousy is becoming on you," he teased.
"I'll let the matter drop for now," she relented. After all, their banter had done what she wished it too. Her composure was intact once more; her grief was once again manageable. One day, she would have to examine it to a fuller degree. One day… "One day, I want you to tell me everything."
"One day, I will." She felt him reach the end of her braid. With a quick, elegant turns of his wrist, he tied the strands together with the elastic. It hung heavily down her back. "But today, you need to meet Aidou in the study for history."
"Yes, I know," Yuuki sighed. Kaname smiled and dropped a kiss to her head.
"Try not to make him cry this time."