A/N – Hey all, I don't like leaving long A/N's for my readers, so I'll make it as short and quick as I can.
This is my first Twilight Fanfic, so go easy on me and let me know what you think. I'm a wolf-girl at heart, and a Bella-hater by nature. She will get hardly any page time in this Fic, but you can guarantee it won't be pleasant.
This idea came to me a few weeks ago on a night shift at the Hospital. I was on my break and BAM story idea popped up and I had to put pen to paper… or fingers to keyboard I guess.
So let me know what you thing of the first chap. There's no real revelation on the story-line and plot in this first chapter, just setting up Leah's persona.
Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review!
DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephanie Meyer, and do not own any recognisable characters in this story. The plot is my own with some of the timeline and themes from SM's Twilight Saga.
Summary:
Leah Clearwater is bitter. She's sad, angry and alone. A genetic dead-end shape-shifting female with nothing left to strive for in her currently miserable life. Can she sort through her problems and come to terms with everything that's happened in her life? Or will she need help from a certain pack member to help her pull through?
Leah sat at the edge of the cliffs, her arms wrapped around her knees, which were currently tucked under her chin. She sighed and stared at the ocean spread out below her. Nature, she pondered to herself, was so simplistic, in an uncomplicated complicated kind of way. There was no "um-ing" or "ah-ing" over which way a current was going to flow, or what trend the winds were going to whip through the forests surrounding her. It just simply happened.
Leah wished her life was as uncomplicated yet complicated in that way. Where there was no pain or emotions. No actual memories to remember all that had gone wrong and hurt her in her mostly miserable twenty-two years of life. Well, mostly the last three years, if I'm going to try and be honest with myself, and sort through this shit storm of a life.
Hi. I'm Le- wait… weren't these things supposed to start with "Dear Diary" or something along those lines? Too late now I guess, seeing as I've already started. God I'm gonna kill Seth. Why did he have to be right all the time? Okay okay, let me start again…
Dear Diary
Hello Diary. My name is Leah. Leah Clearwater. I'm gonna be honest with you straight up, Seth made me do this. That's my brother… such a happy-go-lucky kid… honestly, I don't know where he gets his energy from… it's like he's on a neve ending sugar high. Nothing ever upsets that kid. Especially since we wolfed out a few years back. That made it even worse. Oh lord I'm losing focus already.
Ok so, basically, Seth thought it would be a good idea to write this stuff down and come to terms with the shit that's been going down the last few years so that I can stop being, and I quote, a stuck up bitch with a pole stuck far so up my ass you can see the top of the pole poking through the top of my head. I mean, what's that about? What the fuck! I am so not stuck up. I'll admit to the bitch part, coz, well, I technically am, you know. A bitch. A female dog… well, wolf, but that's of the canine species, so it counts.
It all started three years ago I guess. With Samuel. Fucking. Uley. God it pisses me off just writing his name… I seriously don't see how this is supposed to help. I mean, the only reason I even said yes was coz I knew I had to do something about my attitude, it was just unnatural for me to be so hung up on something for this long… well lots of somethings, but anyway. And the reason I agreed is coz the only other way for dealing with this shit is by talking to a "professional", and we all know that is so not happening. Could you imagine telling your therapist that my fiancé left me because a bunch of vampires moved in down the road, causing him to wolf out and then imprint on my cousin and ex-best friend Emily fucking Young? And to top it off, I caused my own father's heart attack, and ultimately his death, by sneaking him bacon every other Sunday and then wolfing out in front of him as well… like, there's never been a female wolf ever recorded in tribal history. Which is what shocked him. See, coz Dad used to be on the Tribal council, so he knew about the wolves. Then we were arguing over bacon one day – Ironic, yes? – and I just lost my shit and BAM! Werewolf/shifter girl kills her father. To top it off, I have to see Sam and Emily in my head EVERY FUCKING DAY, and I found out that Sam could have just been Em's friend. That it was her choice… but she had apparently always wanted him for herself and then she chose him… of course I had been the one to find him balls deep in her in my fathers shed. Like seriously? Who does that?!
But wait, there's more!
Oh yes, the fun train that is my life doesn't stop there folks. Since shifting, dear old Mother Nature has stopped visiting me every month. I'm a genetic dead end, twenty-two year old, one and only female wolf shifter of my kind, and I can never have children. I mean, I never really had the desire for them to begin with, what with the drooling and poop and lack of sleep and whatnot, but at least it had been a possibility, that it was there if I ever changed my mind. Now it's an impossibility. I mean, why would the Great Spirits have made me the first female wolf ever if I couldn't carry the gene on? Like, seriously, what the fuck!
Anyway, that's the reason, or they are the reasons, that I'm such a stuck up bitch and no one wants to be my friend. My pack brothers constantly tease me, tell me they hate me, and always groan and moan whenever I'm around or I phase in for a shift of "Protecting the tribe" by running endless circles patrolling the Rez to keep it safe from glittering bloodsucking leeches. Yep. Vampires are real. They glitter in the sun. They don't sleep. Garlic, holy water and religious artefacts do nothing to them. When Sam first told me about them my first reaction – and it's still the reaction I get to this day - was to question what god had created pansy-ass, glittering bloodsucking vampires to exist. It just makes no sense! Ann Rice and Charlene Harris have it all down with bad-ass vamps! Not that I like them as it is, but if they were going to exist, at least make them cool!
Ugh. Look at me. Talking about fucking leeches. This shit is getting old. It's only been five minutes. Why did I let my brother talk me into this? Maybe if I just write random make-believe stories up instead? That way I can just show Seth I've been writing by fanning through the book quickly without him reading it. Yeah, that ought to work.
Once upon a time, there was a little Princess names Leila. Leila was a happy little girl with a new baby brother and the best Mummy and Daddy in the world. She had two best friends Rach- erm… Rochelle and Renata, who she was home-schooled with. They all grew up happily, Leila's Daddy stayed alive, and her best friends Mummy didn't get killed in an unfortunate carriage and explosive accident… They all fell in love with charming Princes and lived happily ever after. The end.
... if only.
Leah sighed and closed her journal. It wasn't going to work, this writing business. Best to just maybe think about it all instead. Go over in detail every agonising event in her life that's led her to the here and now.
So, the only question she had to ask herself for the time being was, at what point in her life did she need to start from in order to work through her problems?
Thanks for reading! Please follow and review to let me know what you think so far!
Cheers,
Jackie x