Harry, The Constipated Pig
(Or, Various References to Harry Potter)
(2002 Updated Version)
By Efanis
Once upon a time, in a village in the foothills of the North Norwegian Mountains lived a great pig. He was known as the true pork of beans, the spicy pepper of Chile, and the ham of them all. He was Harry, and he had a scar right above his eye--- oh wait, I'm sorry, wrong story, my bad. Carry on...
Like I was saying, this pig, he was rather large, fat, smelly, and was generally undesirable by most people in petting zoos. Wait...people aren't in petting zoos, animals are. Let me rephrase that, "...and was generally undesirable by the people who visited the petting zoo". There we go, nice and politically correct for all you critics out there.
His mentality resembled that of an unopened can of tuna, dusty and forgotten. And his stature reminded most of a large obese animal. Well...because he was. Harry lived in the cupboard under the --- I did it again, confusing these two stories. I apologize, they're just SO similar. Him going to "Hog-warts" and all...
Anyway...our friend hardy - I mean...Harry, was so fat and ugly and stupid and disgusting that the farmer that tended to him, didn't. Harry was such an abused and lost and forgot animal, that he was forced to live under the hose. Yes, that's right, under the hose. And you thought barns were bad.
One day, when the boy with the scar-AGAIN! CURSES! , The PIG with the fat body got up from his hose, and went to take his usual waste removal process, found out he was constipated and blew up. The End.
(Or, Various References to Harry Potter)
(2002 Updated Version)
By Efanis
Once upon a time, in a village in the foothills of the North Norwegian Mountains lived a great pig. He was known as the true pork of beans, the spicy pepper of Chile, and the ham of them all. He was Harry, and he had a scar right above his eye--- oh wait, I'm sorry, wrong story, my bad. Carry on...
Like I was saying, this pig, he was rather large, fat, smelly, and was generally undesirable by most people in petting zoos. Wait...people aren't in petting zoos, animals are. Let me rephrase that, "...and was generally undesirable by the people who visited the petting zoo". There we go, nice and politically correct for all you critics out there.
His mentality resembled that of an unopened can of tuna, dusty and forgotten. And his stature reminded most of a large obese animal. Well...because he was. Harry lived in the cupboard under the --- I did it again, confusing these two stories. I apologize, they're just SO similar. Him going to "Hog-warts" and all...
Anyway...our friend hardy - I mean...Harry, was so fat and ugly and stupid and disgusting that the farmer that tended to him, didn't. Harry was such an abused and lost and forgot animal, that he was forced to live under the hose. Yes, that's right, under the hose. And you thought barns were bad.
One day, when the boy with the scar-AGAIN! CURSES! , The PIG with the fat body got up from his hose, and went to take his usual waste removal process, found out he was constipated and blew up. The End.