*Denotes symbiote speaking (internally)*
*Denotes host speaking internationally)
Ahwaine (symbiote) & Kawalsky (host)
Ahwaine stared up at the dark ceiling, his thoughts meandering around his head. He was still in pain from being shot, and still struggling with the loss of his previous host Lukin. More troublesome, his current host had not volunteered. Instead, Ahwaine was forced to hide out inside of him, reading as few of the man's thoughts and memories as possible, and only surfacing at night when he was too upset to sleep.
A few hours later, Ahwaine rose from his usual daytime restless stupor to the sound of good news.
"By all means Major," The one known as Hammond spoke to Ahwaine's host "I need you to lead your team to P3575,"
Ahwaine didn't recognize the name of the planet- the numbers didn't seem to mean anything- but he did know, getting off world meant he would finally have a chance to be free. Assuming, of course, he could find a new host, or was willing to abduct this one. He shook that thought away as quickly as it appeared- such a thing went against everything the Tok'ra believed in. Even now, hiding beneath the surface of his host's consciousness, he had to tread carefully if he ever wanted to be welcomed back by his brethren ever again.
The sound of the self destruct countdown going off, again, as Kawalsky walked through the bleak grey halls of the complex put Ahwaine at ease. They had been going off so often, Kawalsky's pace didn't even change, he was so use to them. Though he was glad these rebels would not be taken by the Goa'uld should they break through their stargate protected by that very interesting door, Ahwaine mused, he was glad the Tok'ra did not have such a device- some paranoid council member would end up blowing them up for no reason, no doubt.
As he tried to entertain himself, Ahwaine missed where they were heading until they turned into the infirmary.
"Can I help you?" A doctor looked up for a clip board.
"Hey Doc," Kawalsky nodded. "I don't want to be a bother but-"
"No, no," The doctor said, putting his notes down. "Here, come sit down. What seems to be the matter?"
"It's just these headaches I've been getting lately. Nothing serious I don't think but, maybe you have some medicine or-"
"Well, let's have a look at you first," The doctor said, pulling out a small flashlight and flashing it in Kawalsky's eye. For a second, Ahwaine froze, fearing somehow the man could see him, before realizing it was just a light and relaxing. Ahwaine wasn't quite sure why Kawalsky was having headaches, and hesitated back and forth between looking for a cause and curing it, or remaining hidden.
"And these headaches Major," The doctor seemed to have an idea. "They started when you came back from your last mission?"
"Yeah," Kawalsky realized "And they've been getting worse."
"Anybody else on the team experience these symptoms?"
"No. Why?"
"It could be a reaction to Gate travel." Not likely, Ahwaine thought.
"Look Doc, just give me a horse pill for the pain, or something. It's a damn headache." Kawalsky insisted as the doctor leaned forward.
Just as the doctor started pressing at Kawalsky's neck, Ahwaine put two and two together. He was the source of his host's headaches. Somehow, whether it was because they were unblended, Ahwaine was injured, or Ahwaine's own inner pain, Kawalsky had been affected.
"What's this?" The doctor suddenly said, moving Ahwaine's real body underneath Kawalsky's skin.
Instinctively, Ahwaine reacted, taking control of the stunned Kawalsky, and pushing the doctor away from them. The man collapsed on the floor a few feet away, but groaned, convincing Ahwaine he was still alive. Ahwaine didn't have the heart to kill him as he suddenly ran for the door.
*What the-* Kawalsky started.
*Please, I do not have time for this,* Ahwained raced down the hallway, pushing past a confused scientist as he turned the corner and ran, trying to find his way back to the gate room. He had been caught, and there was only one way out now, whether he liked it or not.
*Goa'uld!* Kawalsky hissed. *Help!* But of course, no one but Ahwaine could hear him now.
*I promise, I will explain everything later.* Ahwaine insisted, racing down another hallway. How big was this building?
Around them, another alarm sounded, and it wasn't the self-destruct. Ahwaine froze.
*They have you surrounded. You can't escape, snake.* Kawalsky told him.
Ahwaine realized, he was right. Soon, Kawalsky's all too vivid memories pressed on him, he would be surrounded by heavily armed soldiers, all believing him to be a Goa'uld. Looking around, he knew he'd have to hide. Some how, someway, he would have to hide and hope they would give up the search long enough for him to get to the chappai. Reluctantly, he glanced through his host's memories. A quick scene came to light- O'Neill and Kawalsky exploring the building, O'Neill opening a door, a mop falling down into his face, the sound of Kawalsky's laughter. Ahwaine raced for the storage room, Kawalsky cursing and wondering how the snake could read his mind all the way.
Ahwaine, glancing around to make sure the hall was clear, threw open the storage's closet, and slipped inside it's dark protection. Though Ahwaine moved away from the door, out of the small window he could still see soldiers pass outside only a few seconds later.
*Goa'uld,* Kawalsky snapped again, fighting hard, if pointlessly, to regain control of his body *Get out of my head!*
*Please, I know you are upset but-* Ahwaine started, his eyes fixed on the door even as he pleaded with his furious host.
*Snake! Goa'uld! Oh god, what am I going to?* Kawalsky said, half to the panicky Ahwaine and half to himself.
*Listen,*
*You listen, I won't be no Mr. nice host, I will fight you every day of my life, you hear me, they'll find you and cut you out of me, you-*
*I was not trained for this….* Ahwaine groaned as the man continued to curse at him.
*Like I was,* Kawalsky snapped *When you see a goa'uld, you shoot it! Consider yourself lucky I don't have my gun right now,*
*You would attack me?* Ahwaine wondered. *You realize you would kill yourself as well, right?*
The man snorted and despite his confused thoughts shot back *I'd rather die than living with a snake in my head.*
For some reason, Ahwaine wasn't completely convinced his new host would kill himself, but he did gain a new appreciation for the man. *I understand… and admire your hatred of the Goa'uld. Truly they are creatures to be hated but, I want you to consider what I am about to say: not all Goa'uld are evil.*
*Why you little- all you snakes can burn in Hell!*
*No! Wait, that came out wrong. What I meant was-*
*I don't care what you meant!*
*But I am not a Goa'uld!*
*Ha, and pigs fly!*
*I do not think…* Ahwaine tried to understand what his host was talking about *Do they on your world?*
*No, just like you're still a Goa'uld, no matter what lies you try to tell me,*
*If I was a Goa'uld,* Ahwaine tried to switch tactics *I would not have to try and convince you of anything, as I would just suppress you.*
*Like you are doing now!*
*No, I-* Ahwaine struggled to explain what he was doing. He certainly wasn't acting like the true Tok'ra he'd always thought he was. Here he was, controlling his host's body against their will, hiding from humans who fought the Goa'uld. He brought shame to the Tok'ra name, and a small moan was all he had to say for himself.
*The snake cries!* His host taunted.
*I was not- I did not,* Ahwaine's pride started talking before he could get a hold of himself. *What does it matter? If you must know, I am sorry for what has happened to you. I am sorry that we are locked in this small space, I am sorry that I took you as a host against your will, I am sorry that you were even bothered by the Goa'uld to begin with. I wish your people had never heard of the Goa'uld, I wish you had never come to me, I wish I was back on the beaches of Marloon dining with the loves of my life. I do not know what I can say to you to prove that I am not a Goa'uld, but I just hope you can understand, I am as afraid and sorrowful as you are. Whatever happens to me in the future, I hope you Charles Kawalsky will be okay and perhaps, someday find some way to forgive me for what I have done to you.*
The man did not reply for what seemed like an excessively long time, in Ahwaine's mind. On one hand, he was glad to not be getting shouted at anymore, but on the other hand, everything he said to Kawalsky was true. He was afraid, afraid of never making it home again, or worse, of returning only to be prosecuted for his error. He was regretful too, and ashamed of himself more than he had ever been before. The growing silence only seemed to strengthen Ahwaine's already dark and pained feelings.
*You have a girl?* Kawalski finally asked, still clearly disturbed, but calmer.
*Not… in such a crude term. But yes, I hope they are waiting for me. Do...* Ahwaine hesitated, under sure if he should press his luck, but dying to connect with his host now that they were finally speaking *Do you 'have a girl', as you say?*
Kawalsky mentally snorted. *You try dating when you're part of a top secret military organization,*
*I understand completely,* Ahwaine said quickly *That is exactly what I am going through. In fact-*
Without warning, Kawalsky's leg jerked up, sending a paint can flying in to the storage room door, just as a patrol passed.
*What did you do?* Ahwaine yelped.
*Stupid snake,* Kawalsky smugly replied *That's what you get for letting down your guard.*
*I was trying to- you fool,* Ahwaine's heart sunk as the soldiers approached the door *I could kill them, you know,*
*Perhaps,* Kawalsky said coldly *But I also know, sooner or later one of them would take you with them.*
Ahwaine sighed in desperation, glancing around in one last attempt for salvation before suddenly pushing Kawalsky's conscious forward. Perhaps it was foolish, to spend his potential last moments asleep, but of all the foolish decisions he had made recently, that certainly wasn't the worst of them Ahwaine mused as he blocked the world out and waited for the end to come.