The days were short. They flew by in silent passing; paying me little mind as I did with them. They didn't matter to me and I them. I mean why would they? Why should I acknowledge those that hold so little importance in my existence. I shouldn't. I don't. Not since the one. The only one I would turn my head to. The only one with whom I have a memorable instance. This one was my world and I his. He strived to last longer than time deemed possible but he, though memorable, was just another one, and like all the others, he had to go. So fast. Why did he have to leave so damn fast? He was happy with me right? God damn it he- he was all I had and he just... Left...
My name is Feliciano Vargas And I've come to find that days are nothing but empty promises and heart break.
Well it's not all bad right? Big brother Spain had to have wanted to scare me. That's it, yeah! I just... Have to bear with it for a while and then, when I'm big and strong, I'll break away from mister Austria and become my own country like grandpa wanted. I'm small so this was bound to happen eventually. Might as well get it over with right? Then I can have all the pasta I want!
Looking back on the thoughts that entered my mind on that long carriage ride to Austria make me cringe. So full of blissful ignorance and utter stupidity. I didn't know the half of it. Yet there I was dreaming of the grand life I'd have when I got big. What a fool's errand that turned out to be.
As the carriage pulled up to the grand estate I became increasingly enticed by the rarity of the architecture and flora so different from what I was used to. I didn't have long to gawk however, as a dark haired man approached me, a soft scowl on his face scrutinizing every aspect of my little body. This was my first meeting with mister Austria.
"Now Italy," I perked up at my name and attempted to stand like the soldiers in grandpas army would when they were being addressed "you will be working for me now so you have to do everything I say. Go get the broom and sweep the hallway. Miss Hungary should find you eventually and give you further instruction. Go to her if there's any issues, I will not be bothered." I nodded and watched him leave.
Well he's mean. But if he doesn't want to be bothered then I won't have to see him much.
It's funny I didn't notice it right then, those blue eyes watching me. No, it would be at least a week before I even began to realize I wasn't alone when I was dusting and that someone had to have actually left the extra food at my door.
I had, at one point, convinced myself that a fairy existed just to bring poor servants an ample supply of food.
It wasn't until Austria had locked me in the basement, or dungeon as I saw it, that I first saw him. Cold eyes, hard scowl and the most clear look of utter loathing I'd ever seen anyone muster. He scared me. A lot. Every time he came near I'd run, but he started doing things I can only describe as cute. They weren't flirtatious or aggressive or even manly, just blatantly adorable. Pulling me out of a box I'd fallen half way into, leaving the food as I'd said and asking me to help him paint. We got close. So close so fast. It was nice. I'd never had anything like than before. I was always with grandpa and when he died I was left alone but with him, this little blonde boy, I felt I had someone on my side someone there because they wanted to be there not just because they had an obligation as an elder family member. When he kissed me I was on air and when he left the moment after he took my happiness with him.
I remember, I gave him my broom. Yes my broom. I had it in my mind that he'd have to come back if I gave it to him. He always had a weird obsession with everything being clean. I thought- I don't know what I thought. That he'd come back just to give me the broom so I could finish the chores? What a stupid irrational notion. But that's what I did. Needless to say it didn't work.
We got a new broom and for once, he wasn't there to watch me use it.
Time passed as it always does and eventually I grew, but not into the admirable strong country I had imagined. No when he left I collapsed in on myself. He did everything for me and I acted weak in an attempt to have a friend like that again but no one took the position. When I returned to my brother once independent from Austria he was cold and distant, I never understood why, big brother France just wanted to dominate me, and Spain was so enthralled with Romano I don't stand a chance. I was alone. Entirely. But I wore a smile all the same. You know why? Because it didn't matter! Nothing mattered! He was gone, right? France murdered him.
We could've been great he would tell me. A new Roman Empire! But who wants that? I saw grandpa die and I didn't want that for him and yet...
So I smile for everyone else. So they think everything is ok and so I can convince myself of that as well. Little Italy's doing fine always smiling. Happy happy happy Fili! That's what they wanted so that's what I gave them. I was miserable but that was no reason for them to be, these people. They last longer. Longer than normal days. I guess that's why he stayed so long. He was one of them too. So that's how I went for centuries. Smile and skip and sing while masking a depression incomprehensible to the others.
World War One was an awful useless war but honestly I'm glad it happened. Not the death or displacement or Prussia's decent. I'm glad to have gotten lost in the forest, glad to have hid in a box, glad to have gotten hit in the face and captured because he looked like him. That soldier looked like the boy I lost. And for the first time in centuries my smile was real.
He said his name was Germany. I like that name. It's much shorter than Holy Roman Empire. I'm hoping that one day we'll get close enough for him to tell me his human name as well, but that takes time and days are fleeting.
I was his "prisoner" for a short time but he seemed frustrated with my compliance. One day he up and opened the door and told me to leave. I was sad to say the least but as I left the room an idea struck me, I began flirting with the first group of girls I saw and oh boy did he loose it. Telling me to get back inside... My plan worked I guess but something was nagging at me. He looks and sounds like him but in the end this could not be holy Rome. I knew this, I knew and yet I let myself plunge deeper into my one sided fantasy.
I could learn to love this Germany as I did him. I wanted this, I needed this. Someone there! Finally! I had him back, and by God I'm never losing him again.
Hey, so I got bored at starbucks. I'm gunna end it here cuz as we all know I cant update for shit... But if you want more let me know. Thanks!
btw I fully support the Germany as hre theory.