Love and life are curious things, aren't they? One minute in life you'll be safe and warm, and the next you'll be an instant from death.
I've never been in love. No passionate feelings that could scald lava or even give the sun a scalding burn. Everyone around me has been in love, but never me. Never even infatuation. Indeed, my love life has been non-existent.
That's what makes me jealous. That guy Squall…he's a jackass. He treats everyone like shit, and yet girls are all over him. But I guess that's the eternal cliché. Girls love bad boys, and I guess damn overconfident qualifies as that.
Am I like that? I'm really not sure. Personally, I see myself as powerful and just…average. I'm sure Selphie or Quistis or even Rinoa see that, but they don't appreciate me. Why?
I guess it's because I'm a loud teenager. A loud, expressive, spirited teenage boy. Apparently, only girls are allowed to be like that. Since I'm like that, I'm shunned. And because I like hot dogs, I'm gay.
What's wrong with people nowadays? Does everything have to mean something? Can't I like my hot dogs without being gay? Is every stereotypical America gay because they like them?
Alright, enough about hot dogs. The subject of them makes me hungry as hell. Since we're on the road, I can't complain.
Balamb Garden was a base at one point. Maybe a 'base' isn't the best word. Shelter? Is that better? Maybe. Who cares? It's not like it really matters. Nobody cares what I write, do they? If Squall wrote it, I bet everyone would be dying to read it. But not when I, Zell Dincht, writes. Nobody likes the combat fighter.
Once, did people love those who could do hand-to-hand combat? Were they praised and exalted? Was there ever a time like that? My grandfather was once a great combat king, and people adored him! People adore wrestling!
If I acted all moody like Squall, or like a womanizer like Irvine (man, I hate him!), would people like me? Would I be invited to go on a mission? So far, people have dreaded being on a team with me. Why? What did I do that was so wrong? I'm sure someone would say 'you were born, dumbass!', but that answer sucks. Are there any real responses? Any? Am I truly hated for no reason other than my views on life? Really?
Garden is a joke now. No mercenaries will be used from here. At this point, we're hunting for answers. For life.
Recently, I found out that Headmaster Cid is married. Married to who, I wonder. He hadn't really told us.
At the moment, there is chaos. Absolute chaos. Sides have been formed over who is the supreme ruler of Balamb Garden. It's between Cid and this guy (I guess) who the faculty is calling NORG. Supposedly, NORG is the true ruler of Garden. I wasn't aware a base for mercenaries needed a leader. I thought people could just do as they wanted. No, wait. Scratch that. I thought the Garden had a leader, like Cid. And then that's it. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everything we've ever been taught was a lie. Or something. I don't know.
And maybe we need to just deal with what we have.
Regardless, I'm done. I need to go fight someone for money. So I can survive.