DISCLAIMER: It's Paramount's galaxy.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: C/7. Seven and Chakotay's daughter writes letters to her PADD-pal on New Talaxia. Set in the universe described in "That Good Night". Fluff? You betcha. I wanted to highlight some things we gloss over in the Star Trek universe.
Not sure if anyone will find these humorous or not, but here goes. We'll start out with two letters about the similarity between species and the universal translator and see what you think.
#
DEAR ALIXIA
Stardate 65115.8
#
Dear Ali-X-ia,
We're back orbiting Earth for a short visit. Mama and Papa went on a date tonight, so Mezoti came up from school and was left in charge. I asked Mezoti why there are so many humanoid species in the Galaxy, but I don't think she knows because she told me not to bother her. I think Earther features are the most boring. We don't have any bumps or ridges or antenna. I told Mezoti I wanted an implant over my eye like her and Mama. She got angry at me for some reason. She gets all serious and tries to talk like Mama when she's scolding me.
Anyway, it's true about Earthers. My best friend on the Sacagawea is part Klingon, and they have all these interesting ridges and bumps on their forehead. My sisters and brother are the same way! Mezoti is Norcadian, and they have a bump between their eyes. Jaxa is from Bajor, and has some ridges between her eyes. Icheb is from Brunali, and he has a ridge on his forehead. Not big like Klingons, but kind of long and thin.
Did you know Icheb and Jaxa are married? Jaxa gave me an earring the last time I saw her. I like to wear it all the time. It has silver loops with turquoise stones. Turquoise is blue. Have you ever seen an Andorian? There's one on our ship. He doesn't have any bumps or ridges, but he has these antennas on his head. Andorians are also blue.
I heard someone once say I look like Papa, so I thought I might draw a tattoo on my face like he has. His is all one color and is of an eagle claw or something. It's kind of plain so I decided to make mine colorful. I have a set of markers, and made some flowers. I ran out of room on my temple, so I extended a little onto my cheek.
Mezoti was REALLY unhappy. Mama and Papa smiled, but made me wash my tattoo off. Papa said when I'm older, perhaps I could get a real tattoo like him.
Is Brax still mad at you about the plomeek soup incident? Write back soon.
Your friend in the alpha quadrant,
I-X-chell
P.S. Green, grid 13-3.
… translating to Talaxian …transmitting…65115.8
… awaiting Alixia's response …
#
Dear Alixia,
I asked Mama to make some leola root stew like you said and she gave me a funny look. Your Dad must be wrong because I don't think they like it.
I was wondering how the UT knows how to translate words a certain way when they are real close. Like Papa and Dad or Daddy. I wonder how those are translated in Talaxian. When you write about your Papa it translates to Dad, but how do we know it's getting it right? When I talk to Ensign Chiin (he's the Andorian here on the Sacagawea), am I really speaking in Andorian to his ears? I wonder how I sound. He told me once my voice was like his daughter's, but isn't that just the UT speaking in his ears?
And the UT doesn't translate everything. My aunt sometimes teaches me Klingon words, but why doesn't the UT translate them in my ears? I hear them in Klingonese. It's all so mysterious and confusing. I asked Papa about it, and he didn't know anything. Mama started trying to explain it, but I didn't understand. I guess I'm like Papa.
I asked the computer to let me hear Talaxian spoken without the UT, and it doesn't sound anything like my Earth language. Shouldn't I be able to tell if someone was speaking a different language by how their lips move compared to what I hear? I can't tell with Ensign Chiin. He says he's speaking in Andorian.
We should develop our own language so if the UT fails we can still talk to each other. Or I suppose I could learn Talaxian. Is that hard?
Aloha,
Ixchell
P.S. Aloha means hello and goodbye in an Earth language. Write what you get in Talaxian back to me and let's see what the UT does. Oh, and Red, grid 5-7.
… translating to Talaxian …transmitting…65141.2
… awaiting Alixia's response …