Title: Halloween is always done right at Hogwarts
Author: Puck Fido
Summary: A spell put on Hogwarts by an evil fanfiction author causes chaos on Halloween night. Read and find out the events that will take place!
A/N: This is just a little joke fanfic that I came up with while feeling very silly.This is just for fun.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own Harry Potter. Yes, I wish I did. Please, don't sue me.
The day before...
"So, Ron, what are you going to be" Harry asked, sitting on one of the more comfortable chairs in their dormitory. "I think I'm going to be a clown."
"Wh'as a clown" Ron looked a bit confused but happily nibbled on a chocolate frog he had managed to get. "Me and 'Mione are going to be each other. I'll have a lot of fun with that."
"That's brilliant, your idea I suppose" Ron nodded and took another bite out of his chocolate. "Well, a clown is like a comedian. They dress in fabulous colors and do jokes."
"Ah, very clever Harry. Well my only problem is that the skirt I was planning on wearing makes my thighs look fat. I mean, I can't have fat thighs"
"Achem. Puck Fido to your service! Terrified of the odd girl standing before them Harry and Ron screamed like girls. Well, how are my victims, I mean characters doing today?"
"Who the bloody hell are you" Ron by this time had dropped his chocolate and was hiding behind Harry.
"I am your author and creator and it's good you dropped that chocolate because it won't make your legs any skinnier."
"No actually J.K Rowling is their creator, Puck keep to fanfiction." Puck's Boss angrily commented.
"Don't be mean to my friend with devilish good looks!" Fellow author, Ash Coffin,Protects Fido.
"As I was saying...Harry, would you be so kind as to pick a more interesting costume for Halloween? I mean, honestly, a clown?"
"Um...Well I could be a fairy" Harry only said this because it was the only other costume he had. Somehow Dudley thought he could squeeze into a smaller size but after failing he handed it off to Harry.
"OH! Goody! A FAIRY! HEY HARRY THE FAIRY!ISN'T THAT ADORABLE! Well, now that's settled! I will be off!"
There was a chaotic explosion and before you could sing the national anthem, Puck was gone.
"Christ! What was that about?" Quickly Ron jumped out of Harry's lap and was about to pick up his chocolate when he saw his legs.
"Well, I guess I am going to be a fairy." Harry looked a bit uncomfortable with the idea of wearing a purple dress but was a bit terrified of that author.
"Hello Chaps" Hermione sat down next to Ron and leaned back. "So what have you two been up to"
(SILENCE)
"Achem. Well, uh we were just talking about tomorrow." Harry said clearing the image of his costume out of his head.
That night everyone slept peacefully, except for Ron who could not get the fab Puck, out of his head.
The day of...
Morning, Ron" Harry leaped onto his best friends bed"Come on, it's Halloween! Have some spirit"
Ron made no attempt to have any spirit and being quite the part pooper, he pushed Harry onto the ground.
"Harrrrrrrry! You lump o' shit! It's bloody...four am! Why am I even awake! Not even the bloody sun is awake!"
"Shh! You'll wake up the whole school" Ron gave a 'they get to sleep?' glare"Anyway the only reason I woke you is because we have to do the prank! Remember?"
"Oh, yes. You can do it, I'll just go back to" And Ron was snoring.
Four Hours Later..
"Lee! Would you look at that" Fred pointed to an animated banner that hung along side the Halloween decorations.
"Looks like Malfoy there, Lee" George added on. "He's in a- What in the hell? Crabbe's"
"Oh, bollocks! This is awesome" Lee Jordan roared with laughter.
Then Malfoy and his posse (including Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy) walked into the Great Hall. "What is going on here, Griffs? Something funny?"
"Something Funny? No, nothing funny, something damn hilarious" George bellowed at the confused Slytherins.
"Just look behind you" Fred chimed in again, finishing his brother's thoughts.
All others in the Great Hall watched as the four Slytherins turned around. Each one screamed as they saw the banner.
In the Gryffindor Dormitory...
"You did WHAT" Hermione yelled at Harry and Ron for pulling such an irresponsible prank.
"Yes, we made a banner that showed Malfoy and his posse in Gryffindor colored bikinis. Then we bewitched it, so anyone who attempts took take it down should be added to it." Ron smiled smugly.
"Of course, Ron wouldn't wake up to help me hang it. I still managed and it should be taking affect now."
Hagrid, Dumbledore, Filch, Flitwick, McGonagall, and Snape had all been added to the banner and they were all gaily dancing on it.
Night of Halloween...
No one had managed to take the banner down and now over one hundred people were on it and dancing.
Every student sat in the great hall chatting and awaiting the appearance of a mass of food. Then right about when Dumbledore would make his normal speech, a crazy fanfiction author stood up from behind the Head Table.
"Hello students! Magnificent costumes all of you! Except for you, Neville you have a horrible costume! An Elephant? Anyway, Draco Malfoy looks spectacular in his snake costume!"
All the students looked to Draco who was wearing tight back pants, no shirt, and deadly looking fangs.
"THAT'S RIGHT A SNAKE! I'M NOT A MALE PROSTITUTE BLAISE" The Slytherin then sat down looking very flustered.
Cough
"Yes, Draco, not a prostitute. Well, on the other hand I am very pleased to tell you instead of a feast I will present to you this song of my appreciation!"
And the Song goes... (A/N: this is not my song, this is a version of the song from Monty python)
"I've got Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:
Hoi've got a luvverly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.
Hoi've got a luvverly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch"
Roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
There stands me wife, the idol of me life, patience
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch"
"I'M A COCONUT" Shouted Seamus Finnigan, standing on a table. He was quickly pulled down by his twin coconut, Dean.
"THAT'S GREAT SEAMUS! IT WILL BE A WONDERFUL SHOW FOR ME!" The author hooted at what was to become of the students. "Not to scare anyone, but in about 30 second you will all be taking on the attitude of the costume you have chosen! Thank you! My creative genius did hard work thinking up that one!"
Then with a purple blast, Puck Fido was nowhere to be seen.
The Great Hall hit the roof in screams and Hogwarts students and professors went mad.
And the Chaos unleashes...
In a matter of moments, people started to take on the traits of their costume.
"Draco? Why are you on the floor? No! Don't bite me" Pansy, dressed as a ninja, was about to claw at Draco when she suddenly had the urge to battle someone worthy of a fight.
"HARRY! GET DOWN! YOU'LL CRASH INTO SOMETHING" Ron was screaming at Harry, who had taken off into the air and was sprinkling fairy dust over the students.
"Bloody Hell Ron, your acting like such a prat. What on earth would Harry crash into up there?" Obviously, Ron and Hermione had switched roles.
Meanwhile Harry had flown down to Draco who was hissing at Crabbe. "Want a ride"
"Yesssssss, anything with such a lovely fairy." The Slytherin took the hand of Harry and flew towards the Gryffindor tower.
Observing from the front table, Puck Fido and Ash coffin giggled uncontrolably.
"AWW! ASH! Did'ya see Harry taking Draco to the Gryffindor tower?"
"Yes, but I'm rooting for the too coconuts!"
Currently Seamus and Dean the two coconuts were standing in a row.
"Ron! You're so delicious in that skirt" Hermione pounced on the red haired boy and then dragged him up to a hidden tower.
MEANWHILE...
"NEVILLE! STOP TRYING TO SNOG ME" Justin Finch-Fletchley ran in horror away from Neville, who was dressed as an elephant.
"No, Neville, stop! Get away from my pants! No!" As Justin was in no costume, the spell had no effect on him.
A party was then formed in the Gryffindor dormitory and all around people had alcoholic pumpkin juice. All most no room to move, practically the whole school was there.
"Oh my god! Ron, is that Dumbledore chugging his pumpkin juice?" Hermione looked wide-eyed at her headmaster in the nude.
The next morning everyone woke up to find themselves lying on the floor practically on top of each other.
"Professor, we have some major clean up to do." McGonagall sternly said to Dumbledore. "First, I advise you to get dressed headmaster."
THE END! yeah a bit of a lame ending! review, flame...its all the same! REVIEW!