This was the third time Kakashi had fought Naruto, and it wasn't going well for him. Naruto had grown stronger, while he'd gotten weaker than he realized while he was in the hospital. He probably shouldn't have made that joke about Sakura. She would have laughed if she was there; he didn't know why Naruto had gotten so upset.
"Kakashi!" Naruto yelled. "Take it back!"
Honestly, it was just a forehead joke. He'd said worse many times. They'd said worse to him. Even Sai understood that teasing was part of friendship.
Naruto pulled out a tail, and Kakashi suddenly felt nervous. He wanted to placate Naruto, but his pride wouldn't let his student dictate terms to him.
"Ne, Naruto. If you can't take a joke you'll have problems in life."
"Take it back!" Naruto yelled, and this time Kakashi heard a distinctive growl in his voice. He pulled out a second tail. Naruto had learned to manage up to two tails without causing his body too much damage. He'd put more work into that than anything since he'd stolen the scroll.
Kakashi had a sudden idea. He might as well have some fun. "I wonder how much we've both grown. If you can defeat me I'll say I was wrong, but if I win you have to kiss Sai in public. Agree?"
"Agreed, Sensei!"
Kakashi held up one hand toward Naruto and assumed a ready stance. "Come at me with intent to kill." The other two times he'd fought with Naruto, the kid had been after an objective. Kakashi wanted to see how he would fight him when he was angry. Naruto had become someone for him to measure himself against. This was going to be fun.
"Bring it," he said. He wondered if Naruto would pull out some clones and rush him like he used to. He was tempted to pull out his book. That would really piss Naruto off.
He had to leap aside as one of the tails lashed out at him. If one of those tails hit him the red chakra of the Kyuubi would give him chakra poisoning.
The second tail whipped around on his blind side, cutting him slightly on the arm. He usually stopped those attacks, but this time Naruto had been surprisingly fast.
He pulled up his hitai-ate and used the nearby lake to create a Water Dragon Bullet Jutsu, creating a massive dragon that overwhelmed Naruto. When the water flowed away, he saw Naruto on his back, eyes spinning. The tails were gone. Water techniques were effective against Naruto in Kyuubi mode.
The chakra poisoning began to take effect, and he grabbed his arm as it began to hurt. He felt his own chakra beginning to fade away.
Naruto jumped up. "Ah Kakashi Sensei! You can't defeat me so easily."
Kakashi began to get angry. He created a clone and hid in the trees, waiting for Naruto to attack.
"Oy Naruto, you have to do better than that," the clone said. It pulled out its version of Icha-Icha Paradise and began to read.
Naruto charged and struck at Kakashi's clone, which avoided his Tai-jutsu attacks. In the tree Kakashi felt his arm go numb. He knew he should really call the match off, but he wanted to see this through to the end. Surrendering wasn't his style anyway.
Kakashi created another clone underground using the Double Suicide Decapitation Jutsu. It grabbed Naruto's legs as it sprang to the ground, and the first clone landed a solid kick to Naruto's stomach.
Naruto hit the ground running, already leaping back at the clones. Kakashi began to sweat and pant in the tree. His chakra was running out already, because of the Kyuubi's attack. He had one more jutsu left before he had to quit.
One of the clones rushed at Naruto while the other attempted to get behind him. He saw both of them score a direct hit, only to see a log suddenly appear where Naruto had been standing.
He never fought with subtlety before, Kakashi thought. The effects of the chakra poisoning made him weak, and he fell from the tree. He landed in the leaves and created enough noise Naruto was sure to locate him.
He leapt back into the forest, planning to use Tai-Jutsu until he couldn't fight anymore. He wasn't going to give in. He stumbled and fell to one knee.
Who am I kidding? He thought. I'm done here.
His vision blurred, and he began to have difficulty breathing. He heard a leaf crunch behind him.
"Oy, Kakashi Sensei. I've always wanted to pay you back for something," Naruto said from behind him.
"ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!" Naruto screamed as he shoved two fingers forcefully into Kakashi's ass while pumping chakra through him.
Kakashi flew through the air and landed on his back, skidding into a tree and breaking his leg. He passed out, still angry that Naruto had beaten him.
When he woke Naruto was standing over him, gloating.
"Well Sensei? Say it."
"I take it back. Sakura has a charmingly wide forehead. Now get me a medic will you?"