Hello friends. JB again. I suggest you read this entire A/N so you understand what the hell I'm doing with this particular story.

Once upon a time, I wrote an AU fic series. I loved my fic series. I loved my OCs. I loved digging into the angst and the darkness, and contrasting that to how a family can love each other so much that light just shines straight through the dark. And in my final installment, I mapped out two different routes at a certain point. I went with route B. However, since I ended that series, I've often regretted not following through with my original plan of Route A. Call it fear or fatigue or whatever. But this is my attempt at giving you an alternate ending, so to speak.

If you read up through chapter 19 of Everlasting, you are left wondering whether or not the mass in Olivia's breast is cancerous. In Everlasting, it was not. In this fic, it will be. Spoiler alert number one for ya, you're welcome. This is not a seamless transition, but this story picks up approximately after chapter 19…and before chapter 20.

Look, it's not perfect. But this is fanfic and I'm an amateur, not a professional. So I did the best I could while trying to tell the story I want to tell. The muse wants what it wants, apparently.

If this isn't your cup of tea, that's totally fine. Luckily, at least for now, we live in a free country and you don't have to read. But for those who are/were curious…this is for you. And it is also for me…to prove to myself I can go there.

Shoutout to SVUBahDumTiss for encouraging and inspiring me to write this...you da best, chica. Thank you thank you.

Enough of my rambling…if you're still with me…here we go…

#TucksoNoahLieReturns

One

Ed cut the engine of his truck outside of Stony Brook Southampton Hospital, but didn't make a move to open the door.

The ride from their house had been virtually silent, with Olivia picking at the material on her worn sweater and Ed grinding his hands on the steering wheel. Save for the light Bon Jovi playing in the background, no sound was made. The couple had been dreading this appointment ever since the phone rung the day before.

"Hello…yes, he's here too…well, we're both pretty nervous…"

Ed went over and gripped his wife's waist, placing his chin on her shoulder, as she took in the doctor's words over the phone.

"Oh…um…okay…you can't give me more over the phone?"

Ed's heart dropped.

"I see. Okay, tomorrow at nine. See you then."

"Hey," he rasped, finally unhooking his seatbelt and reaching out for Olivia's hand. "Look'it me…"

She turned her head, brown eyes swirling with questions and nerves, but her lips still managed a small, content smile.

"I love you," Ed said firmly, his eyes latching onto hers and conveying his words in as many ways as he could.

"I love you too," she whispered, tightening her own hold on his hand as she took a few deep breaths. "Let's just go rip the band-aid."

Ed nodded and hopped out of the truck, jogging lightly to the passenger side where he helped his wife down and to her feet. It was a silly ritual that often made Olivia roll her eyes, but deep down she loved it. Ed Tucker respected her more than words could ever say, and if one of the ways he insisted on doting on her was by opening doors, then who was she to deny the chivalry?

Once Olivia was on her feet, with the truck locked, Ed pulled her into his chest instead of heading for the side door. He ran his fingers through her freshly blow-dried hair and placed a few tender kisses on her forehead.

"I'm right here," he whispered, not knowing what else to say. "Whatever happens, we will beat it."

Olivia nodded against his body, unable to really form words so she just soaked up the closeness before they went in and were told the news she had been dreading ever since Dr. Simons said the word "mass". It had once again thrown her family into turmoil, though everyone was doing a good job of hiding it from her.

Ed spent most of his time doting on her and the kids, making sure everyone had whatever they needed and getting pre-winter yard work finished. Over the weekend, before the phone call on Monday, he had cleared the yard twice of leaves, and had the kids race to see who could collect the most twigs and get them into a separate bag, so he could mow once more. Charlie had continued on as usual, wrangling Lizzie and often Noah over to the neighborhood park a few times,, but had grown quiet once the phone call came through and the reality of what was happening began to seep in. None the less, she had bundled both kids out the door that next morning to drop Noah at school and bring Lizzie into work with her so her parents had a smooth departure for the appointment.

But true to form, Olivia Benson-Tucker let her mind swirl with worry about her family, despite watching how they stepped up.

"She's too quiet."

"Ed, Miguel can finish the leaves…relax."

"We need more turkey for Noah's lunches."

"Do we need more Goodnights for Lizzie, or does she stay dry enough now at night?"

Now, hand in hand, as she approached the doctor's office with her husband, her mind was blank. Nothing was swirling. She couldn't have formed a coherent thought if she tried, so Ed took the lead. He got them signed in and situated in the semi-soft chairs of the waiting room. But they had no sooner gotten settled, then they were called back and lead into a sterile exam room.

"Dr. Simons will be right in," the young nurse said. "I'm just going to get your vitals."

Olivia was silent but compliant as she was poked and prodded. Once the nurse finally left, her eyes settled on Ed.

"I'm nervous," she admitted softly, stretching her hand out to grab onto his.

"Me too," he replied, scooting his chair up right next to the exam table and running the fingers of his other hand lightly up and down her arm.. "I'm right here. Let's just find out what we're dealing with."

"Don't go anywhere," Olivia said, surprising herself with how vulnerable she sounded, but Ed didn't miss a beat.

"Never," he nearly growled, standing up and moving so their noses were touching as he worked to reassure her.. "I'm right here. Every step of the way."

"I love you," she croaked, both startled and comforted by Ed's response. She reached a shaking hand up and traced the lines that had formed under his eyes and along his cheekbones.

"Always will," he responded, staying right where he was, allowing his wife to take his strength while they waiting for the doctor. "Always will."

"Stage 2?" Charlie repeated, as the news began to sink in around the dining room table. Ed sat motionless, holding Olivia's left hand in both of his, playing with her wedding rings. Olivia spoke in soft, hushed tones to Charlie explaining what Dr. Simons had said about the pending treatment.

"Yep," she said, her voice surprisingly calm and steady. Ever since they had left the office, her jaw had been firmly set, almost as if she knew her mission and was determined to accomplish it. "Early stage two. Very treatable. We will meet with Dr. Kamal, the oncologist, on Friday but the surgery is already scheduled for next Tuesday. Luckily, since it's early, the surgery is less invasive and should be a relatively smooth process. Once that's done, more scans…and likely some chemo."

Charlie audibly gasped once the world chemo was put on the table, but quickly shook it off and leaned further towards Olivia, reaching for her free hand as she kept listening.

"Charlie," Olivia said softly, making sure to return her firm grip. "The prognosis is really good, okay? It may be a rough several months, but I'm gonna be fine."

Silence fell upon the room again. Noah was still at school and Lizzie was asleep. As Ed and Olivia had made their way back home, they called Charlie and asked her to come on home. She did, and she knew exactly why, but hearing the words spoken still stung.

"Okay," she said slowly, her head nodding and mind churning. "Okay. What do you need from me, Momma? I'm here. For anything and everything."

Olivia gave her a tight lipped smile, willing her tears away until she was alone, or at least just with Ed. Instead she stood up from the table and moved around to wrap her daughter up in a maternal embrace. Charlie rested against Olivia's chest, clung to the fabric of her sweater, and closed her eyes. Ed reached out and gripped Olivia's shoulder to offer support, but otherwise, they all just stayed like that in silence, no one looking at each other, but just taking in the fact they were together.

Finally, Charlie shifted a bit and pulled back, looking up at Olivia, the Tucker blue eyes filling with concern, yet resolve.

"I mean it, Momma," she said. "We have your back. Cancer will be awfully sorry it decided to take on the Tuckers."

Olivia let out a little laugh, but a tear still escaped her eyes.

"It really will," she agreed before taking a deep breath. "Okay, well, I guess next on the list is talking to Noah."

Ed stood up and rubbed her back, "However you wanna do it is fine with me. You're in control."

The three adults looked at each other for a bit before Olivia finally spoke up.

"Well, I think simple, yet direct is the best way," she said, but then her voice began to waiver. "I don't want him to be confused, on top of likely being scared…"

"Hey…" Ed said, rubbing her back a little harder. "It's okay. We are all gonna help him, okay? And…just like the doctor said…this was caught early. So we have no reason to think of anything other than the next few weeks and making sure you are spoiled rotten."

"Right," Olivia said softly, nodding and leaning into her husband as she continued to just twist Charlie's hair in her hands. The trio once again fell into a silence, until a strong yawn from Olivia caused them all to move a bit.

"Mom, why don't you go lay down," Charlie said, standing up and kissing her cheek. "Lizzie is still out. I can run get Noah while you rest. And maybe pick up dinner? Anything you want."

Olivia just smiled and shook her head a bit.

"I'm so lucky," she said. "So so lucky."

"Oh Momma..."

"How about Chinese?" she said, quickly diverting them from an onslaught of emotion. "I think I just want the soup, maybe that signature ramen? And Noah likes the lo mein…" she said softly.

"Deal," Charlie said, giving her a quick but tight hug and eyeing Ed. "You get her to bed, I'll be back in a bit…"

Later that night, Olivia finished up her bathroom routine and padded into the bedroom to find Ed propped up, waiting for her. But one look and she had to laugh.

"We match," she said, looking down at her light blue flannel pajama pants and gray tank top. Ed also looked down at his own blue flannel pants and gray NYPD shirt.

"Great minds," he quipped, before opening is arms and allowing his wife to collapse against him. She settled her head on his chest, just under his chin, and let out a sigh.

"What a day," she said, eyes closing with the comforting rhythm of her husband's hands caressing her.

"Yeah…" he breathed out. "Ya okay?"

She didn't answer right away, just allowed the situation to overtake her for a bit before offering a response.

"For now…" she allowed honestly. "I expected to feel more upset. But right now, I just feel…loved."

"You are," Ed said, the strength of his response causing his chest to rattle, Olivia holding onto him a bit tighter. "You are, baby."

They stayed like that, arms wrapped around each other and legs intertwined for nearly an hour, before Ed felt Olivia's breathing shift a bit. Straining his neck, he peered down at her face and saw her biting her bottom lip and staring out of their bedroom window.

"Talk to me," he coached gently, beginning to run his fingers through her hair again.

"I can't get Noah's little face out of my head," she admitted. "He seemed so…confused…at first. But then I guess he just..accepted it."

"He's still little, Liv," Ed said softly, knowing all along she had been a little bothered by Noah's reaction, or lack there of. "It is a big concept. All those articles we read…a few said that we can expect almost a delayed reaction, as his mind processes."

"I just…" Olivia started, her words getting caught by a bubbling sob. "I don't want him to have to process this…"

"Oh….Olivia…" Ed sighed out, holding her as tightly to him as he could manage. "Babe, it's okay…"

"No," she said. "It's not. I'm not scared of the fact that cancer is inside of me. Or not yet, at least." She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts, before continuing. "I'm scared of the effect it is going to have on my family…our family."

Ed let her words sit out in the open for a little bit, not wanting to squash her very real fears right now, but also trying to come up with a way for her to stop worrying about everyone else.

It was fruitless. Olivia was going to focus on her family; that's just who she is. So Ed chose his next words carefully.

"Olivia," he said, gently placing his index finger under her chin and lifting her face so he could see her eyes. "I know you're going to worry. And I can't promise that we won't falter, that things won't be hard, but I want you to focus on your health. We will guide Noah through his feelings and any fear that comes up. We will shield Lizzie from everything we can. And we will keep an eye on how Charlie is coping. But first, and foremost, right now especially, is you."

"But Ed…"

"No," he said, shaking his head and leaning down to kiss her nose. "No buts. Charlie and I have already agreed, and I imagine she's passing along the plan to Trevor as we speak.."

"Am I being teamed up on?" she asked, a smirk growing on her tearstained face. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

"Not at all," he said, stroking her cheek. "You're being loved and supported. And team Tucker is about to kick some ass."

"Team Tucker," she mumbled, her eyes closing again while warm, fresh tears soaked her cheeks.

"Team Tucker," Ed reiterated, allowing Olivia to further burrow into his chest as he pulled the duvet up and tucked it under her chin. "This cancer won't know what hit it."

"I hope you're right," Olivia mumbled, her words beginning to fall off as she drifted into a fitful slumber. "I hope you're right…"

"Me too," Ed whispered, knowing Olivia was already asleep. He settled in, staring at the ceiling fan blades wooshing around slowly. He was hoping eventually it would lull him to sleep, but instead his eyes remained open. It was the first of many nights that he anticipated not getting any sleep.

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