Disclaimer/Warnings: I do not and never will own Yu-Gi-Oh. Flames will be eaten once I print them out. Yami/Serenity and overprotective brother syndrome, as well as Joey/Mai; but that's all it really is. The hikaris and yamis have their own bodies, and the items (Rod, Ring, and Puzzle) have copies. Ushio is also in here (He was in the manga and original first season).
Malik will be the yami, Marik will be the hikari. I'm not bashing anyone here, and some of the people who bash other characters in here get their just desserts. (You may chew them apart if you wish.)
Please read and review!
(Valentine's Day)
"How did I manage to get myself into this?" The ex-pharaoh asked as he straitened up his suit and adjusted his tie. He looked himself over in the mirror as his light imitated these rituals next to him.
"You agreed to do this for Joey's sister, remember? You told Joey you would because her bum of a date dumped her for a ditzy blonde." Yugi replied as he examined a spot on his face. "I hope this isn't a zit..."
"Aibou, it isn't a zit so stop fretting over it." Yami scolded, turning to where the two puzzles lay on the bed. He wondered if he and Yugi should bother wearing them that night. They were both quiet for a moment, and then...
"You know, it's not like you were going with anyone in the first place."
"I didn't ask anyone because I was never going in the first place, Aibou." Yami wasn't a people person, and had originally planned to stay home and help Grandpa Mutou in the store. That was then, and now Yami was in a 'shotgun' date. Both finished their examination and turned to leave their room, but not before putting on their trademark Puzzles.
(Three Days Earlier)
Yugi, Yami and their friends had been standing outside the school discussing the upcoming Valentine's Day dance. Tea chatted on about all the decorations and activities that would be set up in the gym, because she was on the dance committee.
"There's going to be pink, red, and white cupcakes. And at the end..."
"Joey..." They all turned to see Serenity, tears in her eyes. Joey dropped his books and ran over to comfort his sister. "What's wrong, sis?" Serenity broke down crying into Joey's shirt. "Oh Joey, my boyfriend's not taking me to the dance... He's taking...Amy!"
Joey waited, calming down his sister before he continued. "I can help you. I'll have a little 'one-on-one' with Claude for ya. Nobody dumps my sister and gets off easy!" He cracked his knuckles.
"No Joey. I don't want you to get in trouble. I just need a date for the dance. Most of the other girls have dates for it."
"Then I'll find you a date, sis. One who's worthy of you." Joey posed and Serenity hugged him. "Thank you big brother!"
(School Cafeteria)
"Have any luck, Joey?" Yami asked as he and Yugi sat down next to the elder Wheeler. He was currently scribbling something down on a sheet of notebook paper and mumbling something.
"Not yet. I'm beginning to think I should just make a list of the boys Serenity shouldn't date." Joey growled as he looked at the list, frowned, and scribbled out the name he had put down.
"I think you should know, I'm still avalable for the taking." Tristan sat down next to Yugi.
"Why would I have my sista date a reject like you." Joey just managed to miss the fist that was aimed directly at his head, and picked up some mashed potatoes. Yami intervined at that moment.
"As an attempt at getting my lunch eaten instead of thrown at me by accident, may I make some suggestions?" The blonde looked at the spiky-haired individual and nodded. "How about you compose a list of all the guys who would never make the cut in a million years?"
"I got some people for that list: everybody." The rest of the table facefaulted as Yami ran a hand through his hair. "I think you should narrow your search by a large amount."
"Fine. My sista can date anyone, as long as it isn't Kaiba, Duke, Kaiba, Marik, or Kaiba."
"You said Kaiba three times."
"I know. I especially don't want her to date Kaiba!" The aformentioned CEO had just been walking by with his tray when he heard that comment. "What makes you think I'd date a Wheeler mutt?"
"You're just pissed off because you know that I know that Serenity's too good for ya!" Joey retorted, while Yami and Tristan held him back.
"Leave it Joey." "But he started it!" "I don't care who started it, you don't want me finishing it!" Eyes wide at the threat made by the ex-pharaoh, Joey sat down and continued working on his list. 'Maybe I should organize an interview thing.'
(Activity Period)
"Hey Joey!" The librarian shushed the girl as she entered. "Sorry." Joey turned from his table and moved the chair next to him out for her to sit down.
"Hey sis." he whispered back as she sat. Here's a list of all the guys you're allowed to date." He handed her the list.
"But Joey, it's blank." His sister stared questioningly at him.
"Of course it is. You don't need a boyfriend. They're too rowdy. You'd be best to go with your friends." Serenity looked down at the paper again.
"But all my friends have dates." Joey froze at this. "Then I'll do it over again and I'll find you the perfect guy!"
"Mister Wheeler! I've told everyone to be quiet, and you are no exception. So do be quiet!" "Sorry."
(The Day After)
"Next!" A long line of guys stood outside the janitor's closet as Joey called them in one by one. He and Yami sat at a table holding clipboards as another guy entered and sat down in the third chair across from them. "Okay...Jonathan. If you were the following, what would you be: french fries, soda, ketchup, or a burger?" Yami asked before whispering to Joey. "What does this have to do with dating?"
"...a burger?" Jonathan answered. He almost wet himself when Joey jumped to his feet. "A burger means he's got many complicated, and sometimes sinister, secrets!" Joey took the poor guy and hurled him out the door.
Yami gave an exasperated sigh and hit his head with his clipboard. "You know, we won't get anywhere unless you stop tossing the guys out on the first question." "Sorry man. I can't be too careful when it comes to my sista. You never know who may be a psychopath these days. Take Marik. He's a psycho; or was until his yami was kicked out."
Yami sighed again. "Fine. Next!" In walked Ushio, the yellow 'Hall Monitor' band in its old spot around his arm. "What's this? Illegal usage of the janitor's closet? I can't let you guys get off without punishment, unless you're willing to pay."
"Whadda mean? What sort of payment?" Joey growled.
"I here you've been looking for a date for your sister. I could pretend this whole incident never happened if you let me be her date." Ushio grinned. "If not, I can always reintroduce you to my fist; and she can meet with a rather unfortunate accident."
"Forget it! I'd never trust my sista with you!" Ushio shrugged with a smirk. "I thought so. Oh well..." Ushio ran forward, preparing to knock Joey senseless.
"STOP!" Yami had jumped forward, and the giant had stopped in his tracks. "I see the results of my little game have worn off. Maybe I should reintroduce you to them."
Ushio paused while he ran through everything in his mind. "Yugi, no...can't be."
"My name is Yami, and let's just say that me and him don't like it when people mess with our friends." Yami stepped closer, allowing the eye to appear on his forehead.
"I remember you. You used some weird mind thing on me the last time, but it won't work now!" Ushio ran forward, ignoring the surging dark powers quickly flowing from his opponent.
"Simple minded fool." Ushio fell backwards upon colliding with an unseen force. He looked up as Yami flashed a card. "You've activated my Mirror Force. To humans, it's just a piece of paper. But I'm no ordinary human, and it's abilities are real." Ushio stuttered something and tried to escape.
"Now I'll show you why no one gets away with threatening or harming my friends." Ushio stared horrified at the monster that had appeared in front of him. Cold blue eyes stared menacingly at him.
"But...But...These are all just a bunch of cheap holograms of Kaiba's. There's no way that thing is real."
"Oh really? Dark Magician, show him that you can't possibly be a hologram." The Dark Magician complied, walking over to the bully and giving him a wedgie.
Joey snickered at the heart-pattered boxers that were now showing as Yami sweatdropped. "It's not quite what I had in mind, but it's good." They both watched as the Dark Magician dragged Ushio out of the janitor's closet and looked out the small window as the magician dumped the bully into the school dumpster. Dusting his hands off, the magician disappeared.
Yami turned to face a teary-eyed Joey. "That's it! I've found the perfect date for my sista!" Yami watched with caution as Joey circled him as he went through an examination.
"You'd be perfect! You're popular with the girls, smart, sophisticated, a great gamer, not bad looking, and you can offer protection from punks." Yami looked wide-eyed at Joey while wondering where his friend learned the word 'sophisticated' from. "What!"
""Please! My sista really needs a date and I don't really trust anyone else. You also won't get beaten up by Tristan or Duke. You weren't going to go anyway."
Yami finally gave in after Joey had gotten a passing Yugi to persuade him with puppy eyes.
(Outside)
"So as I was saying, I think it's a wonderful way to psych the opponents' teams out." "But Bakura, I don't think stealing the mascots from the other teams and switching them is legal." "Of course it isn't legal, Ryou! The legal stuff isn't much fun."
"I have to agree with Bakura on this one." Malik cackled. The two hikaris sweatdropped as their yamis continued talking about ways to annoy the teachers. The four had just reached the dumpster when Ryou screamed.
"What is it?" "I heard something move in the dumpster!" Ryou screamed, cowering from the dumpster. Bakura walked up to the side of it. "Maybe it's the mystery meatloaf Malik and I tampered with at lunch." Malik walked over and kicked it, resulting in a moan from inside. Ryou screamed again and ran behind Bakura. "It's alive!"
Within minutes, the dumpster and its contents had vanished. "There. Happy?" Bakura asked. "Yes, but I wonder what was inside?" "Too late for that now."
"Are you two going to keep talking, or are you going to let us eat all my sister's cookies?"
(To Be Continued)
I had to cut this story in half and make it a two part thing. It was like 22KB on the disk.
Ringtailer