His Second Friend

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Main Theme- Disorder by Joy Division

Hux is higher than Lazarus and is capering in his modestly-sized quarters. He hasn't done this since he first received word about his promotion to Brigadier-General. Wow, I actually made a friend! Well, he has my comlink number and hasn't called me yet…but he did stay after I made all of those bad jokes! And got religious on him. And destroyed whatever fear/respect he held for me as the General. But the most important thing is that he didn't freak out and leave! And like Aunt Mara said, that's what friendship is all about!

Hux's face hurts from grinning so much because of all the smiling he did for Matt. He has just finished going through the reports for the day and is happy to find out that Kylo Ren didn't fuck anything up today! The Fake Knight must be sleeping for the day or something. Accounting must be celebrating and so are the technicians! I wonder if Matt is partying with his fellow technicians back on the beach; I had to leave, but Matt should still be planetside. I hope he gets back before the deadline; I would hate to leave him behind!

"What to do with my two hours of free time? Read Swordspoint again? Practice with Curse Breaker? Mmmmmmm….I better call mum and tell her the good news!" He flips backwards onto his bed and sticks the rose-quilted landing. He then jumps on his bed and lands cross-legged. Good thing this whole room is soundproof, or else I would feel bad for the petty officer below me. And for Lieutenant Mitaka right next to me. But not for Kylo Ren above me!

"Chrono says 2100, so it should be about 0900 back on Galatia? I hope mum had her morning tea…." Hux picks up his comlink and calls his mum. He waits for two minutes, swaying back and forth on his bed like an eager kid on his birthday, before his mum picks up.

"Good morning, Fae!" Hux flushes happily at his mum's exuberance. She must've just finished her morning tea! I wonder what she's making for breakfast. I would imagine anything that tastes leagues better than what I had last morning. I bet she made Cooper donuts with a side of tofu bacon!

"'Morning, mum! How are you?" Hux knows that the soybeans won't be cultivated until the summer. I wonder if she sow the spinach yet. If I recall, she planted some garlic last fall. The garlic should be ready to harvest soon. So long as the winter wasn't harsh this year.

"Oh, I'm doing well. The emerald garlic is almost ready; I'd give it about another week or so. I'm going to plant the spinach in about two weeks. My Jasmine Dragon tea trees need pruning today. Hopefully, I'll be able to harvest the tea before you come back. Wouldn't it be grand to breathe fire like a dragon again?" The last time I drank the tea, I nearly lit Aunt Mara's hair on fire! I probably shouldn't try to set her on fire again; I really don't want to have lightsaber burns on my back again! Hux still smiles sinisterly at the thought of lighting the Grandmaster of the Inappropriate Use of the Force on fire again.

"Yes it would, mum! Oh, I have something wonderful to tell you!" It's not the grandchild she's been longing for almost three years now…but she'll be happy to know that I'm not friendless in the First Order anymore! Although, Hux feels like finding someone to have a child with may not seem as impossible as he once thought it was.

"Did you get another promotion? Because if you did, I think you broke another galactic record." His mum slightly teases him. In a span of five years, he went from rank-less to General. After I finally got an official assignment on a ship, I just kept on getting promoted like crazy. Then again, I was encouraged to be creative since I was kid unlike everyone else in the Order. But I also had an excellent friend who was willing to teach me how to be political without compromising my military persona!

"Nope, or at least not yet anyways. I actually wouldn't mind if I get a couple years with this rank. I made a friend. His name is Matt and he's a radar technician!" Hux is jittery and bubbly like he's fallen in love again. Yeah, right; I've only known him for…not even a day. Then, again I fell for my first love by sight, but he looked like a Nagai Nick Cave and crooned like him too. And I fell for my second love by sight too, but she looked like a Ferroan Morgana Pendragon and turned out to be a killer like her too. And both ended with my heart being ripped out of my chest and then eaten…but I survived.

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful! Tell me all about him!" Shit, I didn't ask him any personal questions! He let me do all the talking. So he's a great listener? Hux has to pause a minute to string a substantial and coherent answer.

"Well, he has pale skin and blonde hair, but I think his hair is actually dyed because his eyebrows are a wonderful shade of black. He wears these aviator eyeglasses that show off his dark-brown eyes! He's also like a couple of centimeters taller than me, but I think that's because of his boots. He's cool and quiet kind of like Guts, but you know without the badassery." I really hope he calls me soon, so I can ask him a bunch of personal questions…hopefully very subtly. I wouldn't want to ask him off-the-bat if he believes in time-travel. Or ask that at all… Hux then wonders if asking Matt if he believed in angels named Erica or Castiel would be any better. Probably not!

"He sounds like a nice man. So how did you two meet?" Hux sucks in some air and then pauses in thought. Well, I kind of used him as a pillow, then he followed me probably because he was concerned that the General was about to get himself in trouble, then I showed off my Earthling heritage to him, then I sniffed him, then I stripped in front of him…I'm actually surprised he didn't run away! Or file a restraining order by now…

"You know how I told you about how the Fake Knight would waste his Force energy on trying to break through my mental shields at night? Well, for the first time in almost a month, the Fake Knight didn't bother to read my mind! I slept in and woke up with only twenty minutes before my shuttle would've departed without me!" Thank the Divine Mother, I am in the habit of laying out my clothes and whatever supplies I would need the night before. Although, I didn't have time to get some caf and poor Matt just had to be my unfortunate pillow! My very nice-smelling pillow with muscular shoulders…

"Have you ever thought of directly asking the Fake Knight why he wanted to look into your mind while you slept? You two co-command together, so you two are equals and which means you do have the right to receive an answer." Hux almost scoffs at her like she was Aunt Mara talking about good and evil. Maybe if Kylo Ren didn't choke the Cinnamon Roll of the First Order, then I might actually believe he's reasonable. Seriously, choking Mitaka for accidently spilling his caf, when on the security holo the Darth Vader wannabe was just standing there, is like killing the Last Unicorn for looking ethereal!

"The Fake Knight perceives himself as holier than us Force-less sinners! Back to Matt, anyways, I was pretty sleepy and he let me sleep on his shoulder. Then, I went to the statue of the Divine Mother and he followed me there because he was so worried about me! I pretty much just talked to him and took the naked plunge, which he refused because he didn't believe in the Divine Mother, and I gave him my comlink number. You know he was like a real knight." Hux's definition of a knight is one with honor, poise, and respect; none of which Kylo Ren is. To Hux, Kylo Ren is just the Fake Knight and will never be anything more than that.

"He must've been a knight if he didn't try to have his way with you! Perhaps, he's looking for a friend like you. And maybe, in a couple of years, it could be something more…..like having a child together." Hux is torn between laughing cynically and feeling depressed. Considering how my love life evolves in transience and mortality, if I were to get together with Matt, he'd probably either break my heart within a day or try to kill me within an hour. Then again, at least, I would feel something and that's better than feeling nothing as father would say. Matt makes me feel so much…

"That's a possibility, but I need to focus on our friendship. Let's see I have now made two friends within my lifetime. But both are quite different from each other, especially in their stations. However, he and Thrawn are my friends. Speaking of Thrawn, I think I actually might be attending one of his political balls pretty soon." Hux wishes that he could bring Matt along, but this is one of those pseudo-political functions that will require him to play the General for most of the evening. I don't want to be cold to Matt; I really want to be hot! The General is not hot at all.

"Oh, if you do get to go, please ask Thrawn if he would like to order some Jasmine Dragon tea. I don't think he's had any of my tea yet, but he did like the art holos I sent to him. I wish I could've sent him the real Wheatfield with Crows; he'd probably take better care of it than Mara. I wonder if she even has that painting anymore." Probably traded it for the remains of a lightsaber knowing her. Hux bites his tongue and shakes his head at thought of such a beautiful painting being traded for useless scraps of a once-great lightsaber.

"I know he's displaying those holos you gave him along with other priceless artwork that only aliens like us can appreciate! Oh, hang on, I'm getting a comm from someone. I think it's Matt! I've gotta go, mum, love you!" Hux hears his voice go up several octaves. He hears his mum snicker.

"Okay, Fae, I love you too and goodbye." The comlink beeps to signal that the conversation has ended and begins to beep insistently that there is someone waiting on the other line. Hux quickly answers his comlink.

"Hello, Hux." Matt's nervous voice erupts through the comlink. Hux grins wildly.

"Hi, Matt! Do you believe in angels?"

Author's Comments- You know how Hux was this freewheeling Bohemian that elicited arousal in Matt/Kylo Ren in the last chapter? That person is still there, but he's been reduced to his child-self when talking to his mum. One of my many, many headcanons regarding Hux is that he likes calling up his mom when something amazing happens to him. Like making a friend because it seems like a nigh-impossible feat for Hux at this point in his life. This is actually pretty sad if you observe how excited Hux is in making a new friend.

But guess who finally gets a role with some lines in the next one-shot: Grand Admiral Thrawn! And guess who finally gets to voice his strongly-worded opinions on Grand Admiral Thrawn: Kylo Ren!