"What's wrong Eleazar?" I asked my husband. We were driving to the Cullens separately from the other three.
"Nothing," he mumbled, studying his lap.
"Honey you can tell me, it's okay," I assured him.
"I'm just…I'm just thinking…"
"About what?" I reached over and squeezed his hand.
He hesitated and I thought he wasn't going to continue. "I wish I was closer to Demetri. I mean, he's my best friend and everything but we never get past the general guy stuff; you know, the teasing and small talk and the rest of it."
I smiled and he rolled his eyes, knowing I was about to tease him. "You want to have a girly talk about feelings and stuff with your boyfriend."
Even he giggled at that. "I guess." His smile faded. "It's kind of weird though; I think it would be awkward if we were like that. I like him and I would be sad if anything happened to him, but I wouldn't be devastated like Garrett would if something happened to Carlisle. They genuinely care about each other, we don't really. I don't think most guys do. They like their friends, but they wouldn't go out of their way to make them feel better. We care for the person, but not for the emotional being. We keep friendships on shallow levels… Those two don't. Guys keep relationships built purely on bullshit but they are different. Or Carlisle is different; me and Garrett do the whole mocking thing like the rest of them."
I suddenly realised what this was about. "Aww, you're worried that you're going to be left out when the other two are together. That's so sweet."
"No…Well yes I know I'm going to be an outsider when they're together but I'm not worried about it. I just wish I could talk to Demetri like I can talk to Carlisle, as in have a human conversation with him. He doesn't bullshit me like Demetri does, and when he does it doesn't hurt it's just fun. I actually trust him, he makes me feel good. He's…he's real. He doesn't build things on lies and idiotic behaviour."
"Are you sure Demetri's your best friend then?" I asked, hoping he might think about it properly.
"No but I don't even know Carlisle." He sounded a bit put out.
"Sweetie, we've known the Cullens for a very long time. What do you mean you don't know Carlisle?" I laughed.
He didn't find it funny. "I don't know him. I know nothing about him; I don't even know when his birthday is. I don't know his past; I don't even know what he likes doing when he's not working. I know nothing. The only thing I do know about him is that he hates answering questions; he can jump around them without giving an actual answer for hours."
"I though you said he didn't bullshit you."
"He doesn't. He doesn't lie to me; he just doesn't like talking about himself. I don't know, maybe he would tell me if we were alone and I asked him but I doubt it." He looked disappointed.
"You want to have the same relationship with Carlisle as Garrett does," I pointed out.
"Maybe." He sighed. "It doesn't matter anyway, I've screwed up what little friendship we had too much for it to get like that. Especially now Garrett's here." He looked at his lap. "What's the point? Threes a crowd. They won't want me with them; it'll be awkward."
"Alistair's going to be there. There will be four of you, problem solved." I didn't quite understand his logic.
He groaned. "That's even worse!"
"How?" I chuckled. "By the way, you remind me of a teenaged girl, stressing over something like this."
He rolled his eyes. "Because the three of them are so close, that's how." He gritted his teeth. "I hate Alistair," he grumbled under his breath.
"Why, because he's getting in the way of your bromance?" I teased.
"No, because he's an ass hole."
"What has he ever done to you?" I laughed.
Apparently it wasn't a joke. "He's just so goddamn mean. He screws with Garrett and treats Carlisle like shit."
"They obviously don't think he's mean or they would stick up for themselves."
"The one time I have ever seen Carlisle upset was because of him. Although, I think he is on okay terms with Garrett."
I could tell he was pissed. "Calm down, Eleazar." I grinned. "But it is kind of sweet that you're protective over them."
"I'm not protective. I just hate Alistair," he replied defiantly.
I gave up on that side of the conversation. "So why cant you and Cullen be friends?"
"We are friends, I think anyway. But a few years ago me, Carlisle, Demetri and Felix went…I don't even know what to call it, clumsily bashing our way through bush and then jumping off the side of a cliff. Carlisle was kind of on the outside the whole time; he knew the other two but not very well I don't think. He didn't really fit in with us. And Felix was just being a cock to him the entire way and I just pretended I hadn't noticed. I mean, what the hell is wrong with me? I should have said something and stopped him but I didn't. To make it worse I don't think Carlisle was feeling well and I should have made them stop or took him home or something but I didn't. God, what kind of person does that make me? I'm as bad as Alistair and Felix put together. I can't believe I was such an asshole." He sounded upset and when I looked over he looked close to tears. "It isn't fair, Carmen. I mean, I'm glad he's got Garrett because the rest of us suck at this friend thing. I'm surprised he wants to talk to me at all."
"Honey, it wasn't a nice thing to do, but it's not the end of the world. If it happened a few years ago why are you so upset about it now?" I asked gently, squeezing his hand again.
"Because… You know when we had that fight a month or so ago?" he asked cautiously.
"Yes…" I preferred to forget it.
"Well I thought that was the end of us. Like we were getting divorced. And I couldn't take it. So I ran away and ended up somewhere in Canada." His voice got quieter. "I rang Demetri. He told me to get over it and hung up." He swallowed hard. "So I called Carlisle. For some reason and I have no idea, why he actually let me talk to him. When my phone started to go flat he told me he was going to come and find me. I didn't believe him, but he did. He hugged me too. And then we sat like homeless people in a bus shelter for four hours until Tanya sent him a text asking if I was with them in Forks. I told him to say that he didn't know where I was. He walked back most of the way with me until we reached our hunting area and then he went home again. And I don't understand why because I was so horrible to him…"
"See? He does like you, obviously more than you think. It'll be okay Eleazar, I promise." I rubbed his leg before putting both hands on the steering wheel. I could see the end of their driveway. Eleazar started hyperventilating.