Disclaimer: I don't own it. Blah Blah Blah.

AN: This doesn't really have a time period. It just exists. I'll probably decide more later as I write it, but for now, yea. The second chapter has already been written and is uploaded. I'll update it once I finish chapter three, or when I get ten reviews. Whichever happens first. :)

AN 2: Just realized, it does have a time. After Elliot finds out about Kathy's pregnancy (the most recent one .) but it takes off into AU from there. Read on, and you shall find out.

She could say that it was as if one day she woke up and realized that his blue eyes tantalized her, that his knack for breaking the rules made her fall, that his dedication to his job had her falling head over heels for him; but all of that would be a lie. A grotesque lie. So she simply admitted to herself what it in fact honestly was. She loved him, and probably had since the day they had met. Before he had been unattainable because of the fact that he lived a good Catholic life with his good Catholic family, and she had no need for religion in her own life. It had been far to depressing for her. And later, it was because they were working together, and not only would that put a kink in their relationship, but it would also ruin them both.

But now…as she was finally coming to the realization that her feelings wouldn't go away, that if anything they would grow stronger and stronger, it was too late. Not only was his wife pregnant, but he was going back to her. Like a Good Catholic should. She was proud of him, sure. Happy for him even, to a certain, lesser extent. But what was she to do now? How could she work by him, close enough to smell his cologne, near enough to feel his heartbeat, together enough to hear his thoughts; knowing that at the end of the day he would go home to his growing family, and she would go home to her empty apartment.

Olivia Benson downed the rest of the beer she was having at the bar, before throwing a twenty down to pay for it and the previous three. She turned towards the bar's door only to see the man she had seemingly conjured up walking through the doorway. She groaned inwardly, not even trying to hide as Elliot Stabler walked towards her, his brash smile glowing on his face. She gave him a weak one as she turned back and sat on the stool again silently resigning herself to a few minutes of chitchat.

"Sorry I'm late; Kathy's OBGYN appointment ran long. But look what we got as a result." Elliot pulled out a black and white fuzzy photo of an alien that seemed to have two heads and four arms and, "…Twins. Again." Elliot smiled again. Olivia gave him another smile before handing the alien picture back to him. She never understood what it was about the ultra sound pictures that made mommies and daddies get all weak and fuzzy in the knees. They all looked like aliens in her mind.

Still she smiled like the dutiful friend, before pointing to the bartender, who by this time in the night knew her well enough to know that she wanted another beer. It was retrieved quickly, and she took a mouthful, before shaking her head at Elliot, "It's alright. I was just here, drinking and thinking. Two things that probably should not be done together." She gave a small wry laugh before turning back to her beer.

"You ok?" He asked her, his blue eyes filling with concern and his hand coming up to rest on her shoulder. She was hyper aware of the heat and heaviness of his hand, and almost reduced to tears at the worry in his voice to match the worry in his eyes.

"Fine, El. I'm fine. Just been a hard week." He nodded at her reply, understanding completely. Though when it wasn't a hard week was something that everyone in the Unit had to wonder about. She ran a hand through her hair, blowing her bangs out of her face and wondering silently why she had ever decided to cut them in. Sure they looked good, but they were so awful annoying, she wasn't sure if they were even worth it.

"So, are the kids excited?" She asked, feeling that the silence was a little awkward, and also believing that if she made small talk it would be over sooner.

"They are pretty happy, yeah. Probably has just as much to do with me being back home as with the fact that Kathy is having twins. Kathy is upset because she's worried about money of course."

"Well, six kids are more than four."

"Especially with two in college."

Olivia nodded, taking another drag on her beer. She was tired, more than her share of buzzed, and wanted to get away from the blue eyes that were staring her down. Of course it was paranoia, but it didn't matter at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to be away from Elliot Stabler right now. She needed to get away from the small chat about the family she was insanely jealous of. They had everything, including each other, and she had nothing. She didn't even have Elliot anymore. She glanced at her watch; still too early to beg off due to exhaustion.

"Liv, what's wrong? Honestly, we've been working together too long for me to not be able to tell when something is bothering you." Elliot's voice hardened a bit, and Olivia looked at him, "I'm just tired. Really tired. I think I'm gonna go home. Not feeling too well anyway."

She threw down a five to pay for the fifth beer and stood, holding onto the back of the stool she had just vacated for balance, "You wanna ride, Liv?" She looked at him; those blue eyes, stubble that almost never stayed away, and concerned look on his face, and stifled her tears, "No, can you just call me a cab please?" She watched him look at her, and felt as though he knew everything about her. Slowly he nodded, "Yeah, I'll call you a cab. Promise to call me if anything goes wrong?" He asked, holding onto her arm as he led her out of the bar. She nodded, watching him flag down a cab, and obliged as he helped her in, leaning back and allowing him to tell the driver her address. It was silent for a moment, but when Liv didn't feel the door close and the car take off, she opened her eyes to find Elliot's face above hers, "Promise me, Liv. Be safe, alright?"

Olivia smiled at him, nodding again, before leaning her head against the seat again, and closing her eyes. This time she felt the door slam and the car begin to roll away. "Gonna be alright, Miss?" The cabbie asked her, probably more worried about the upholstery of his car than the actual woman sitting in it.

"Yeah, just please, take me home." There Olivia could drink and mourn her idiotic loss in the privacy of her own home.