Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it mine.
By Veneficus heterocephalus, my first fanfic. You can imagine, I don't like the Eleventh Doctor as well as Ten and Nine. If you do... well... just take it as something funny. This fic is meant to imply that Ducky and the Fourth Doctor have had some dealings together, but that Ducky never learned about the regeneration ability.
The slap rang loudly through the part of the office known as the "Bullpen," attracting the attention of the two women he had been chatting with. He clasped a hand to the back of his head, trying to decide whether or not the old man now in front of him looked familiar.
"What was that for?"
"It's not cool. It's not even remotely cool." Mallard spat the word out like something toxic.
One Doctor stared at another in a confused silence for a moment before responding. "But… but…" He gestured wildly, pointing at the shorter man's collar. Mallard grabbed his own tie.
"I am cool. I am cool in spite of the tie. That is why I wear this thing."
An entertained voice buzzed from the sidelines, the Goth from the lab bubbling over from her stimulant overdose (What was her name again? The Doctor made a mental note to double-check later.). "Can you imagine what would happen if he didn't wear it? I mean, God, women would attack him in the street! The tie just tones it all down!"
"But you!" Mallard stepped forward. The Doctor looked nervously around the room for something to change the subject with, but didn't back away. "Your predecessor managed to wear that hideous scarf for years and he didn't have to keep reminding people that it was there. You may have inherited the Tardis, but you are a shallow imitation, hardly worthy of the ship I remember!"
The Goth perked her head to the side a little, frowning, and whispered something in the other woman's ear that Mallard was too incensed to hear. "Kate, you DID tell him, right?" Before the Doctor could react, he had snatched the item away. Abby gasped, and Kate had her hands over her mouth in horror. As for Mallard, his ire only escalated when he realized what he held.
"A CLIP-ON?"