Hmmm. I wonder what's wrong. We've been dating for about 4 months now and I thought everything was going great between us! We'd hang out couple of times during the week, wether to study, watch a movie, play video games at his house, you name it.
Although he didn't ask me to come over at his house for about a couple of days now. Everytime I ask if he wants to go over he says that his his maid didn't clean the house yet, his brothers are their, always giving me lame excuses not to go. Anyways.
I don't want to break up with him! I loved coming to school in the morning, knowing he'd be at the front of the school waiting for me with my skinny mocha, we'd walk hand in hands in the building, all the heads turning towards us. Either of jealousy because well, we're Massie Block and Derrick Harrington, both guys and girls 8th grade alphas respectively, or jealous of what we had. He'd carry my books to class, being late to his just to give me a last peck on the lips, one of my most treasured moments of the day. It was evident when you just saw us two together that we were head over heals for each other. At least I was. His behavior appeared the same as before. Still loving, caring, joking, butt-wiggling Derrick Harrington.
But either way, I could not get dumped! I'm Massie Block for fucks sake! I dumped dudes, not the other way around. As much as I cared about him, my pride and status was in jeopardy, I had to do everything to stay on top.
He was already their. I was going to make it quick and simple. What I was about to do was breaking my heart into million of pieces. I thought he could of been the one, I seriously thought this relationship was going somewhere. We had potential together.
He looked glum, as if he wasn't really present. His mind must of been occupied with something important. He didn't hear me come over, I could see him from afar. Wind swept his gorgeous honey blond shaggy hair which fell right above his chocolate brown eyes. Those eyes, I could get lost in them for hours. Even if this makes me sound like a creep, when we were just the two of us, I always liked to watch him. Whats with his facial structure, his jawline, perfect hair, perfect body. I wish I could keep him forever.
He finally looked up to me, and I was surprised for a moment when I saw that his eyes weer full of sadness. Not oh-I-just-failed-my-math-class-sadness, really deep sadness, as if he was broken and could never be repaired. It made me feel guilty that I was just adding more to this sadness.
''Hey Block.'' He greeted me.
''So whats up?''
''I just...I have to tell you something.'' His eyes flickered way from my face.
''Well good, I have to tell you something as well.'' He looked up to me, his eyes silently questioning me .
''Sure then, go ahead.'' This is it. Ruining my relationship with one of the best guys I've ever met. This is proven to be difficult, I was sure I was going to break down soon, I had to made it quick.
''Look Derrick, you're a really nice guy and all, but I don't think we're right for each other. It's not you, it's me.'' I saw his eyes water immediately. ''What?'' I had to keep it up, or else i'd only get broken in the end. ''I'm really sorry Derrick. I have to go.'' I turned around quickly and started walking away from him, hoping he wouldn't notice the tears forming in my amber eyes. I didn't look back.
I saw him the next day before school started. He looked like he went throught hell, with his clothes wrinkled, a usually lively face now appearing older, more mature, grey tinted, his hair seemed flat compared to the look he had before. His eyes looked dead, as is all the life had been sucked out of it.
What if I made a bad mistake? What if he never really did want to break up with me? Maybe the reason why he looked so out of shape was simply because he'd been the one that was dumped. As much as I wanted to go over to him and hold him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay I couldn't. I made my decision and there was no turning back now.
He walked towards his locker, head down, hands in his pockets and shoulders slumped, he looked like he carried a huge weight on his shoulders. I could already see all the girls fawning over him as he walked, giggling and smiling, brushing their hair and applying more lip gloss. At that moment I admit I was slightly jealous. He could have practically any girl in this school in just a snap of fingers. But however the amount of girls at his feet, he didn't notice any of them and didn't look at any of them. Summer was just a couple of days away and I couldn't be more impatient that I already was. I would be free of the girls glaring at me for breaking his heart, free of the hardwork for two whole months, but mostly i'd be free of him. I wouldn't see him every single day and he wouldn't remind me of all the pain I was somehow causing him. I knew he always went to a soccer camp during summer so there was no chance I'd be seeing him for two whole months. That thought weirdly made me sad.
''Mass I don't know whats your problem, you guys were so cute together, you looked like the happiest couple on Earth! How could you do this? I thought you loved him!.'' My friend Alicia glared at me as she came to sit down with me at the famous table eighteen. She had always liked the idea of me and Derrick as a couple saying we would be the only couple that would make it through high school and being sure we would end up married right after college, with two kids and a great job, like a perfect family I was normally going to have with him.
''Alicia I really had to! He texted me saying he wanted to 'talk to me', we all know what that meant!'' I was just stating the obvious, but my spanish friend did not seem to think the same way as I did today. ''Oh and what did that particular sentence mean, Massie?'' She asked calmly, but I knew inside she was disappointed in me.
''It clearly meant he was going to break up with me Leesh, I broke up with him first for us! To save our status and pride. Girl power come on!.'' She seemed to think about it that okay maybe it meant that, but I knew she wasn't ready to admit it. '' So what are you going to do Mass? Cause it's crystal clear even to me that you still love him.'' She crossed her arms and looked pointedly at me. ''Woah there, let's not get ahead of ourselves with the L word.'' I never really belived in love. Sure you could like someone, care about somebody deeply, but to me it was all the same; lust, infatuation, caring. You'd end up hurt no matter what, like I am right now and like my parents were when they had divorce when I was only 4 years old. ''And I'm gonna get revenge on him. Oh yes, here I come.''
First chaper! I don't plan on making this too long really cause I often tend to lose interest in something quite fast. So, constructive critisism is always welcome! If you have anything to ask don't be shy!
XX, D