A/N: I don't own Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040.

I was tired when I first woke up... I didn't really know what was happening to me. All I knew was that I was not *there*. But what was *there*? I didn't know. All I knew was my life was really jacked up!

Reality...

Pain...

Suffering...

I hated it all. I wanted to do away with it forever, but I knew I couldn't. There was too much wrong with the world; it would take years to fix everything. There just wasn't enough time. Things were too screwed up...we couldn't fix anything.

I knew I had a negative attitude towards life. Honestly, I didn't really care. I didn't know if there was a reason for living. I mean, why were we here? I never found the reason for life...I didn't find my life meaning. All I really wanted was to find a place where I could be me. I didn't want to be judged; I didn't want to endure pain and suffering. All I wanted was to be happy.

The pain hit me like a tornado. The worst thing about it: I never knew when it was going to happen. Sometimes I would just be walking down the street, and then I would be hit with this intense fear. I thought I was going to die. I didn't like that feeling at all. I couldn't get rid of it when it happened, and that was what scared me the most.

My heart raced when that happened... I felt dizzy and weak. It was the worst feeling in the entire world. Sometimes, I felt like I was being struck by lightning.

When I told the doctor what happened...he just looked at me like I was crazy. "It's just a panic attack," he explained.

JUST A PANIC ATTACK? Wow, what an idiot. These panic attacks have really had an affect on my life. They have made life a lot harder for me than it had to be. Sometimes I thought I was being screwed in life... Ugh...I hated it so much.

Please...just give me a sign or something! Please...give...me...a...sign...

I pushed myself up from the floor. I had fallen to the floor in exhaustion after the last panic attack. I wiped my eyes. I couldn't believe I was crying! I was a strong woman; and strong women never cried!

The floor was cold and I felt the same way. I felt icy cold sweat run down my body. It was an uncomfortable feeling. I just wanted it to go away. I wiped my face. I was exhausted. If there was one thing about Anxiety attacks, it was that they took so much energy out of you. You felt like a zombie after...it was very horrible.

My cell phone rang. I sighed in frustration. Who was calling me? I was so annoyed! Didn't anyone realize how annoyed I was?

Rolling my eyes, I picked up the cell phone. I was going to have to answer the message sooner or later. It was better off occurring then than anything. '

"Hello, is this Priss?" The voice asked on the other line. I immediately recognized that voice as Linna's. Linna was one of my closer friends in the Knight Sabers. Everyone else (Nene, Sylia, Mackie...etc.) really got on my nerves.

"Yeah it's Priss," I answered. "What do you want?"

There was a silence. "What do you want?" I repeated.

"Did you forget again," she was beginning to sound annoyed.

"I guess so...I don't know what the hell you're talking about..."

There was a sigh on the other end. "You always do this," she complained. "Sylia wants to meet us at the old warehouse building..."

"Why?"

"Something about a new mission...are you going or what?"

I sighed. "Fine...coming..."

"Good because you're picking me up!"

I got up and threw on my coat. Then, I was out the door. I didn't really care too much about my physical appearance. I didn't think I was ugly or anything, I just didn't see the point in being *hot* or *pretty*. All it did was attract men...and well...I didn't want men...

I got on my motorcycle and went on the road. The wind was blowing by my helmet. I was in heaven. If I could I would have ridden my bike all day long. There was something about it, being on the road, free...that just made me so happy.

Music and motorcycles gave me a reason to live, and I wasn't kidding. I really loved those two things.

I zipped by to Linna's apartment. She was waiting for me with a confused look on her face. I stopped right in front of her, scaring her in the process. I thought it was funny, her freaked out face. However, she didn't think so.

"There you are!" she jumped on my motorcycle. "And," she grumbled in my ear. "If you ever pull anything like that again, I WILL kill you!"

Linna was overly talkative on the way to to the meeting. "So, she began. "What's up?"I shrugged. "It's hard to talk when you're riding a motorcycle!"

"I just noticed," she began. "That you well...haven't been acting right...is there anything I can do?"

I shrugged again. "I don't know what you're trying to say..."

"You're always on edge, you forget where you are. It's like you're being struck by lightning constantly. Come on, what's wrong?"

It was going to be hard to explain it to her...and I was going to try my best to get out of it.

"Nothing..."

"You're not fine," she argued. "There's something wrong...please tell me!" Why did I have to tell her? She didn't own me. I could live my life anyway I wanted to. She wasn't my mother.

No, she wasn't my mother. My mother was dead. She died during that horrible earthquake so long ago. I was six years old. I never had the experience of growing up with a mother. I guess you could say that changed me for life.

"Priss," she asked... I knew she noticed that I wasn't responding. Sometimes I got so caught up in everything that I just disappeared.

"What?" I asked, still concentrating on the open road. "What do you want?"

"Are you okay?" she asked uneasily.

"As okay as I'll ever be," I muttered. "Let's just keep going; we're almost there."

We pullled up to Sylia's new meeting place for the Knight Sabers. Tokyo had been rebuilt, and Sylia sadly lost her fashion store. She managed to secure a warehouse for us to hold our meetings in and to hold our hardsuits as well.

There weren't anymore threats of boomer activity. However, we were still meeting to deal with normal crime. Why the hell I agreed to do it I didn't know. I guess it was habit...or maybe the thrill of the chase. Death would put me out of my misery. Maybe that's why I chose the most dangerous jobs.

We got out and entered the warehouse. Inside, Sylia and Nene were waiting for us. Nene was dating Mackey. Most people would have had a problem dating someone who was basically a robot...but not Nene. She loved him and was able to see past all his flaws that would have otherwise kept them apart.

She was naiive, but a good person.

However, she was not a good fighter. She always got in my way and I disliked her for that. We were also so different.

Sylia was an enigma. She didn't make a lost of sense. She was seductive and secretive. She was also angry and manipulative.

Sylia gave me a glare...almost wondering what had been happening to me. I had panic attacks and couldn't perform as well in battle. I lost so often that many people got away...

I doubted that she trusted me anymore.

"Priss," she began. "You're here...I'm shocked." She said it with a tone that hinted that she was annoyed with me. Well I already knew that. She was always mad at me. There was just something about me that she didn't like.

A lot of people avoided me like the plaque. I was a scary character for most... But honestly... I didn't care...

"Why did you call us here?" I demanded.

"Why do you think?" she demanded. "Don't you remember your commitments?"

I tried to think about what she was talking about, and couldn't find a picture to fit the words. "I...don't remember," I muttered.

Sylia sighed. "Well, you and Linna have to infiltrate a building and spy on our new enemy Yasmin Baga."

"Who's that?" Linna blurted.

"He's trying to bring back the boomers," she grumbled. "I don't want this to happen. Spy on him and find out what his plans are. Then report back to me."

I sighed...

And I thought this was going to be easy!