Thank you
Rigsby was a dad now. He was father to a gorgeous baby boy, who had lit up his entire world.
Benjamin.
Jane, however, was still trying to convince himself that he wasn't jealous of Rigsby and his son.
That his heart wasn't breaking at the memory of his own little daughter.
Charlotte.
She was the most precious being that he had ever known. But she was dead, gone. He would never be able to get her back, however much he wished he could.
He took a sip of his tea and made a grimace of disgust. It was weak and lukewarm. Right now, that was just how he felt inside.
Eventually, he went to the kitchen and poured the liquid down the sink. He wondered for a brief moment whether he should have something stronger. In the end he shrugged and brewed himself another cup of tea.
Outside it was pouring with rain. It looked as if the sky was sharing his feelings somehow.
He had no intention of going into work today. Didn't want to catch the others casting sympathetic glances at him or hear Rigsby gushing about his new son.
Maybe he shouldn't have got up at all. Even though he had tossed and turned between the sheets all night, his bed held a somewhat strange allure now that he had left it.
It was a sort of refuge in its own way.
He felt to weary to face the world right now. Better to close his eyes and just pretend it didn't exist.
A moment later, his cellphone rang. He didn't bother checking the caller ID. Whoever the confounded nuisance was, they'd eventually give up and leave him alone.
Except that they didn't.
He frowned as he grabbed the offending object. Then he saw who was calling him and changed his mind about ignoring the call.
"Morning, Lisbon."
"Jane, why aren't you at work yet? You okay?"
A sigh escaped from his lips. "Yeah. I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
He smiled despite himself. "I was just a bit… lost in thought, I guess."
"What were you thinking about?"
Her concern was quite obvious in her voice. He tried to deflect her question though.
"Oh… about things, you know."
"Jane..."
"What do you want me to say? That I hate Rigsby for having a son when I've lost my only daughter?"
She paused slightly. "You can say it. I don't care, as long as it helps you feel better."
"Well, it's not a fair thing to say. Or to think, for that matter."
"Life isn't fair, Jane. Besides, I'm your friend. You can tell me whatever you want."
A smile touched his lips again. "Thank you, Lisbon."
"Never mind."
"No, I mean it. Thank you."
He could tell that she was rather bemused by his unusual earnestness.
"You're welcome. Take the day off, Jane. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Lisbon?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I'll pop in and see you later. Let's say about lunchtime. Would you mind grabbing a quick bite together?"
She was smiling now, he was almost sure of that.
"Not at all. Come around half past one, I still have some paperwork to deal with."
"Okay."
As he disconnected and tucked the cellphone into his vest pocket he got a sudden feeling that perhaps it wasn't going to be such a bad day after all.