Disclaimer: I do not own these characters; they are property of Supernatural.
"What makes you happy, Cas?" A middle aged woman leaned back in her seat as she questioned the boy sitting across from her. Her hair was up in a neat bun, and she was dressed in a gray skirt and blazer along with a white button down shirt. She looked very professional appearance wise, but she seemed very laid back as she inquired about her patient's life. She was interested, of course, but she was very good at making her curiosity appear professional.
The boy across from her pondered the question. He looked to be in his teenage years, but the way he composed himself made him look so much smaller and younger. Standing, he was almost six feet tall, but sitting like that, he was small and seemed helpless. He was wearing a cream colored sweater vest, and he had on rather thick rimmed glasses. He looked scared and lost as he sat there, like a little child who had been separated from his or her parents. "I'm not sure…" He responded softly as he retreated further into himself. "I… Anything that makes me forget about it." He muttered weakly.
The woman nodded. "It would help if you talked about it, Castiel. It happened almost two months ago, and you still have not told me exactly what you saw. Talking helps, Castiel." The woman calmly informed him.
"I-I… Can't. I don't want to… No." He shook his head. "I'm sorry." He muttered in defeat as his eyes fell shamefully to the floor.
"I understand. Perhaps on Tuesday then." The woman scribbled something down onto her notepad. "Now tell me," She changed the subject. She would approach the subject of what Castiel had witnessed every time, and everytime he would shy away from it. She had learned just to forget that she had even asked. "How is school? Are people treating you okay?"
Castiel shifted around in his seat uncomfortably. "It's fine. I'd rather keep to myself, but the other kids let me be." He responded timidly.
The woman leaned forward in her seat. "Perhaps some friends would help. Even just one would be nice. Everyone needs someone."
Castiel bit his lower lip as she spoke. He did not want friends, or maybe he was incapable of having them. People did not like him, and he had come to accept that. He liked being alone anyway; no one bothered him. He just got to be himself and not have to deal with the highschool drama. He was a loner and a nerd, but he liked it that way; it was just how he rolled. "Not me." He answered simply.
The woman shook her head. "That's not true. Perhaps you would find this more bearable if you had a friend."
"I don't think so." Castiel firmly responded, his blue eyes shimmering with certainty.
The woman only sighed when she caught sight of the clock. "It looks like our time here is up. I will see you on Tuesday, Castiel."
Castiel stood up to leave the room, and exited with complete silence other than a very brief. "Thank you, Naomi." That had become a ritual for him, seeing as he had come there twice a week for the past two months, ever since he witnessed the alleged murder that everyone said never happened.
Castiel was greeted by his anxious older brother as he emerged from the room.
"Hey, Cassie." His older, but shorter brother greeted him as casually as he could manage. He was nervous about the whole thing. He was concerned for his little brother, but he did his best to mask that. He did not want Cas to see how he was faring. He needed to be strong for him. "How'd it go?"
Castiel gave him a small shrug in response. "Okay. I guess." He replied simply. "You don't need to ask me every time, Gabriel." Castiel muttered.
"I just want to know how you're doing. It's important to me, okay? It should be to you too." There were a few mild emotions mixed together, but Castiel could not discern what they were exactly.
"I know. I'm sorry." Castiel murmured as he suddenly became interested in the floor. He could not meet Gabriel's gaze. Gabriel was just worried about him, but he knew why. Everyone thought he was insane, and it had taken Gabriel a little bit of time to even believe Cas. They had not found a body. No one was reported missing. The house that Castiel had witnessed the murder at was abandoned and had been for years. They wanted to lock Castiel away, but Gabriel had refused. He could not let them take Cas away; he was the only family he had, so he was determined to prove that Castiel was not insane. He tried to convince himself of that no matter what the evidence said. Gabriel treated Castiel like a witness of a murder rather than a clinically insane man, and Castiel really appreciated that. At least Gabriel would stay with him.
"I know." Gabriel muttered sounding entirely defeated. "I need to talk to Naomi. Can you wait out here?" Gabriel quietly asked his little brother, who nodded in response as he took a seat in the waiting room.
Gabriel entered the room with a forced smile on his face. Naomi thought Castiel was insane too. She wanted to medicate him, and Gabriel did not know what to think about that. He wanted to help Cas, but he feared that the medications may have too many unwanted side effects.
"Hello, Gabriel." Naomi also put on a smile for Gabriel that they both knew was perfectly fake. "I'm assuming you're here to discuss treatment for your brother."
Gabriel nodded as he took a seat. "I've told you before that I'm not comfortable with meds. Cas is too… fragile, and you and I both know that those things have side effects that can really mess with a person, especially one as delicate as Cas."
"I am aware." Naomi responded without batting an eyelash. "But he had a major hallucination, Gabriel. This is serious. Not only that, but he also refuses to give me any details on that hallucination. He avoids it because he's afraid of it. He's afraid of his own mind, and it is becoming a problem."
Gabriel felt his left eye twitch in irritation. "He didn't hallucinate. He saw it. He's here for trauma, not hallucinations." Gabriel reminded her with a building agitation.
"But the problem still exists, whether or not you want to acknowledge it. I believe Castiel made up this story about seeing the boy murdered because he wants attention. He has no friends or parents. I think he just wants to be noticed." Naomi reported her findings.
Gabriel could feel himself tense up. "Don't say that. I give Cas plenty of attention. He doesn't need to make things up to get people to notice him, especially about seeing people dying! He likes being alone. That's always how he's been. He hates attention, and I know for a fact that this is the last thing he wanted, so don't pretend to know him!" Gabriel burst out, his composure completely forgotten. He couldn't take it when people talked poorly about his family. Castiel was the only family he had, and nobody was allowed to mess with that.
"It's an observation." Naomi responded cooly. "As is this," she leaned forth in her seat as she gave Gabriel a hard glare. "You have a temper because you've had to stand up for your brother on multiple occasions. You had to grow up to take care of him, seeing as you don't have a parent to be found, and you've become high strung because of it. It would also appear that you have procured a strange protectiveness for Castiel that is probably from raising him, which is now causing you to have an outburst in my office. I observe. It is my job, , and you should learn not to question that and go back to your own job."
Gabriel gritted his teeth. He hated how spot on she was, but he was not going to give her the satisfaction of telling her that she was right. "Protecting Cas is my job, and I've known him for much longer than you have, so I think that I know what's best for him. We came here for your help. We didn't want you to try and control us by showing medication down Castiel's throat. He's only sixteen."
"I don't need your permission. It can be court ordered." She responded very casually. Gabriel's eyes widened in shock as she continued. "I would, however, like to be friendly and take your opinion into account, even if you are an inexperienced young adult, and I am willing to give your method a short period of trial time, but after that, I must insist on medication."
Gabriel took in a deep, calming breath. "Alright, but how much time are we talking?"
"I would say another month. He's already had two months and only shows minimal signs of improvement. One more month ought to determine whether or not it is actually helping." Naomi wrote something down onto her clipboard as she spoke, her eyes never meeting Gabriel's large golden hues.
Gabriel gulped. A month was not that long, but he knew better than to argue. She did have the power to court order medication onto Cas, and he did not want to push his luck with that. "Thank you." He muttered as he got up to leave the room.
Naomi said nothing more, only giving him a slight nod of her head as he disappeared and reemerged in the waiting room.
Castiel looked up from the floor he had been staring at when Gabriel returned to the room.
"Come on, Cassie. Let's get out of here." Gabriel muttered as he motioned with his hand for his little brother to follow him to the door, and Castiel did so, sticking by the only family that he had.
Gabriel tried to figure out how to talk to Cas without giving away too much of what occurred, so he was silent for the first few minutes of the drive home. "Cassie," He began experimentally. He had something important to say but no words with which to say it. "I think you need to get out more."
His statement was met with an agitated moan from his little brother, but Gabriel continued anyway. "I'm serious, Cas. I know you like being alone, but maybe you just haven't found the right kind of person yet. You can't be alone forever, Cassie. One day I'll be gone or you'll go off into the world on your own, and then you'll be all alone if you keep on like this. People are not meant to be alone, no matter how much you think you are."
Castiel sighed. Gabriel seemed to be insistent on this subject, so he did not think there could be a way out of it. "What do you want me to do, Gabe? Pretend that I like being around people?" Castiel replied in a tone drenched with frustration, which was really more directed at himself than at Gabriel. Castiel never got along well with other children. He was never very social, but he could manage being polite. He preferred his own company, and everyone seemed to understand that based off of the vibe he gave off.
"That's not what I mean, and you know it." Gabriel replied, mildly irritated. "I just think it would be good if you got out a little bit more and gave people a chance."
Castiel sighed. "I guess I could join the math team. I'm fairly skilled at math." He grumbled as he folded his arms against his chest, ruffling up the front of his sweater vest.
The smallest of appreciative smiles arose on Gabriel's face. A smile was rare between the two Novak boys, but if one were to occur, it was usually Gabriel trying to brighten the situation, but this smile was one of genuine relief. "Thank you, Cassie." He whispered as some strange glassy tint began to emerge in his eyes.
Castiel was scared at first. Math was nothing he was afraid of. He could solve any problem in his sleep with his hands tied behind his back no matter how complex that problem was. It was the team he was afraid of. He was never a good team player. He was much more of an independent individual, so working with others was hard for him. At least it was not a sports team. Math team apparently involved much less working together, which Castiel highly appreciated, but there was still a forced sense of teamwork.
Castiel stayed in a corner for most of the meeting, not wanting any unnecessary attention, but there was a small group of boys that seemed to notice him sitting alone, and they commenced whispering amongst each other until one of them came over.
The boy that came over was small and had light hair and large bright eyes and a friendly smile on his face. "Hi." He greeted warmly. "My name's Samandriel. My friends and I thought it looked like you could use some company. Want to come sit with us?"
He was very friendly and welcoming in the manner that he walked over and spoke, which made it quite hard for Castiel to say no. He had promised Gabriel that he would try and give people a chance, and this boy seemed nice enough. Castiel returned the boy's smile. "Yes. I would appreciate that. Thank you." He responded in an unwavering voice.
"Come on over then…" The boy, Samandriel, motioned with his hand and implied with his words for Castiel to give his name.
"Castiel." Cas told him mechanically.
"Alright. That's a cool name. I was named after an angel too, but most people just call me Alfie." The boy responded as he turned back towards the table and motioned for Castiel to follow him.
"I understand that. Most people just call me Cas." Castiel replied in understanding. Although, Castiel did not know many people, so most was kind of a stretch, but the few people he did encounter often shortened his name as soon as they heard it. "But why Alfie? It seems kind of non-sequitur if you ask me." Castiel pondered with a small frown.
The young boy he was following shrugged. "It kind of became a thing in Preschool when kids couldn't pronounce my name. One kid called got it really wrong and just called me Alfie, and that kind of stuck." The boy stopped when they reached the table, and then he gave a knowing smile at his friends before he motioned for Cas to come and stand next to him. "This is Castiel." He motioned to Castiel once he was by his side. "Castiel this is Kevin." The boy motioned to a small kid, who was focused very intently on a rather large book and only gave a slight nod in acknowledgement. "And Balthazar, but we call him Balthy." Samandriel motioned to the other boy at the table, who looked up at Castiel with this devilish grin.
"Heya, Cas. I was wondering when you were going to come over here already. I thought you were just going to mope in the corner the whole time." The blonde boy, Balthazar, replied as he leaned forward to get a better look at Castiel.
"Hello." Castiel greeted rather awkwardly with a tiny wave of his hand. "I… I don't know anyone here." Castiel explained, when in reality he knew that he did not know much of anyone at his school. "I'm new to the team."
"So I've noticed." Balthazar, the more outgoing of the boys responded with a sarcastic attitude. "Welcome to the nerd hole." He grinned at his nickname for the place as he dramatically waved his arms to motion to the whole classroom around them that was filled with dorky, pimply teens. "I think you'll like it here."
"Ignore him." The boy with the book responded without looking up. "He's just upset because his parents made him join because his math grades are low."
Balthazar snorted in amusement. "No need to steal my thunder, Kev. I don't mind it here though. I find the company quite enjoyable."
Samandriel smiled. "This is a place for everyone and anyone. It's a good place. Trust me." He assured Castiel, who was fidgeting around uncomfortably.
"I am sure it is." Castiel assured them. "And I assure you that any insight is welcome."
Balthazar reeled his head back as laughter overtook him. "Do you hear this kid? He sure has a funny way of talking." He replied in between laughs.
Kevin rolled his eyes. "Again. Just ignore him." He instructed the blue eyed boy.
Castiel looked even more uneasy now. "I don't understand what was so funny." He bluntly replied.
"You are." Balthazar responded as he straightened himself back up. "You are a strange guy." He pointed a light finger at Castiel as he spoke, still jittery from the laughter.
Castiel tilted his head and squinted his eyes in confusion. Balthazar did not make any sense to him. If anyone was strange, Castiel was quite sure it would be Balthazar.
The noise of Balthazar's laughter did not go unheard. Most of the math team had heard it at that point, but a majority of them just ignored it. There was only one person who seemed relatively intrigued, which was a tall, muscular boy in the corner of the room, who looked like he was plotting the murder of everyone in the room.
Castiel gulped when he locked eyes with the stranger. The glare the boy gave him was menacing and dark, and it scared him. It reminded him of that time… He visibly shuddered as he began to back away. "I-I'm sorry. I… need to go." He muttered barely audible.
"Are you okay?" Samandriel's eyes widened in concern.
"I didn't mean it to be mean, Cas. I was just intrigued is all." Balthazar responded in his way of an apology.
"I-It's not that. I just… I need to go." Castiel muttered, his eyes widened to nearly twice their original size.
Castiel backed away subconsciously, until he ran into a nearby object, which happened to be the boy who he had made eye contact with minutes before. Castiel spun around to face the boy, and he suddenly felt a whimper on the tip of his tongue as he looked at the large boy in front of him.
"Watch where you're going." The boy growled.
"Why not let him be, Michael. I don't think he needs your issues strapped onto him." Balthazar responded very casually.
Michael practically growled. "Shut up, Balthazar. I didn't ask you."
"You did when you bothered the kid. He didn't do anything to you, so let him be." Balthazar replied without any hesitation.
"I do what I want, and you have no control over that." Michael snarled back at him as he glared down at Castiel, wondering what he would do to prove that he could do what he wanted to the innocent boy.
Castiel had to use all of his strength to suppress a shudder. It was just like that time…
"Are you even listening to me?" Michael snapped at Castiel as he forcefully grabbed his wrist. Apparently Michael had asked him a question when he was dozed out, and he did not respond. "I said. What did you see at that house? What kind of story did you make up with that crazy little brain of yours?"
Castiel said nothing. I'm just like that boy. I'm going to end up just like him. He could feel his breathing pick up, and he knew he was beginning to hyperventilate, but he could no longer talk because of it.
"Leave him alone!" Balthazar repeated himself as he jumped out of his seat and pushed Michael away from Cas.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Michael shouted back as he lunged himself at Balthazar.
Castiel stood still in a shocked silence. His mind was not working right. He could not process what just happened.
Kevin did not even look up from his book. "Typical. The two boys who were forced to come break out into a fight. Is it Thursday already?" He sarcastically commented.
"Cas, are you-" Samandriel began to ask, but he was cut off as Castiel burst his way through the crowd of people and out the door. He couldn't take being in there anymore. Castiel bolted towards the door, leaving Balthazar and Michael fighting on the math classroom floor and Samandriel looking on with genuine concern.
It was real. I know it was. I saw it happen. It had to be real. Castiel kept telling himself these things as he walked down the street back towards his house. And you're not going to end up like that boy. You're safe. You're out of reach. He kept on telling himself these things like his life depended on them being true. He stopped abruptly. I can't go home yet. It's too early. Math team does not get out for another two hours, and then Gabriel will notice that something is wrong and insist that I tell him, and he'll probably make a big deal out of it and barge into the school demanding justice or whatever he would call it. I need to kill time. He thought for a moment about where he could possibly go, but for some unexplainable reason, he found that his feet already knew where he needed to go.
His body had subconsciously landed him at the end of the street of the house. Only a few houses down was the house where he had witnessed one of the most traumatic experiences of his life, but his body had brought him back there. He knew why. He wanted to know. He wanted proof. He wanted to be able to prove that he was sane. Maybe he was not even proving it to others anymore; perhaps he really just wanted to convince himself of that much.
He took a deep breath. I need to know, and there's no other way. He began to cautiously creep down the street. The street would appear normal and quaint to most people, a little bit rundown, but quaint, but to Cas it was anything but quaint. The faded white picket fences seemed like cages to Castiel, and the banal flowers seemed like traps set to lure in the innocent. Even the sky seemed corrupted by the neighborhood. The whole heavenly canvas was painted a dark gray color that never seemed to give rain. Castiel did not like the place, but he knew he had to go. There was not another option.
He stopped when he reached his destination. It was an old house, and it was probably the most rundown of any of the houses on the street. It had gray chiseled paint, and the front porch appeared to be falling apart. The number 67 was falling off of the mailbox, and the whole pathway towards the door was infested with an uncared for garden with weeds sprouting more than any flowers.
This was it. This was where he saw it. He had been right in the very spot he was standing in the front of the house, and he had seen it through the cracked window that was currently impossible to see through due to a lack of light.
Now that Castiel had a better look at the place, he could see why no one had lived in it for ages. It was a broken old house, and evidently, nobody cared enough to fix it. That did not change the fact that he had seen a boy being choked of all of his life force in that house. A man with those menacing eyes that were so similar to those of the boy he had run into earlier had killed that young boy, who could not have been any older than Castiel himself.
Castiel shook his head, trying to dispel the lurking memory. He wanted to leave. He did not want to remember that.
He turned immediately on his heel to leave the place, but he stopped when he remembered why he came in the first place. I need answers. He reminded himself as he slowly turned back towards the house.
He took one more look at the exterior of the house and then closed his eyes. Just don't think about it. Just focus on finding something useful that proves it happened, and then you can go, and then maybe they will find that boy's killer, and then you can finally rest in peace. He instructed himself as he took a few wary steps towards the house. He was going inside the very house that he saw a boy be murdered in. Maybe I am insane after all. He thought as he went inside the house, not allowing for second thoughts.
Castiel was instantly met with a strong chill as he entered the house, the door creaking shut behind him. It was too dark to see much of anything, the only light being from the cloud covered sky outside, leaving the entire house soaked in an eerie blue light.
Castiel could see why people thought he was crazy now. The whole place was covered in dust. There was hardly any furniture to be found, and what could be located was all covered up in dingy gray sheets that had supposedly once been white. There did not seem to be any running electricity, seeing as the lights refused to go on when Castiel tried a few different light switches. The place was obviously abandoned and had been for some time.
That was not the only issue that the cops had about Castiel's story. There was no one reported missing, and there was no body found. There were absolutely no traces of the crime that the police could find. The crime scene was clean evidence wise, and that was probably the real reason that Castiel was there. They had to have missed something. There has to be something here to prove that it happened. He scanned the large room he had walked into in the entrance. It was completely empty except for one old wooden chair that was draped in a cloth that was far too big for it. He scanned the room. This isn't the right room. It would be that way. His eyes went to his right over toward what appeared to be a living room kind of space. That's it. That's where they were.
He could just imagine it all over again - the dark figure with the soul piercing eyes that made him feel like a helpless piece of prey, the way he choked the younger man, that younger man who had such bright green eyes that were reaching out to him, pleading Cas for help. He shook his head. He wanted to save that boy, but he couldn't. He didn't. He was too afraid, and now, he wanted to make up for that. The boy deserved justice, and this was the only way to get it.
Castiel took slow steps into the living room space. There was nothing that particularly set it aside as a living room, but it appeared that way because of the couch that was covered close to the center of the room. Castiel bit his lip as he stood in front of the couch. This is the exact spot. He looked around to see if anything could help him. There was nothing very obvious. The boy had been choked, so he did not expect blood, but he was hoping for some kind of evidence - a piece of clothing, a picture that showed that someone actually lived in the house, anything would help, but there was nothing. Castiel bent down on his knees, adjusting his glasses so they would not fall off, and he then began to sweep his arm underneath the couch in a desperate search for something.
He pulled his arm back out to find it covered with a mocking dust. Nothing. There's nothing here. He sighed. He did not know what he was expecting, but it was not that. He thought this would be the magical moment when he found proof of his sanity and he could leave this whole thing in his past, but that hope was now just as far gone as the boy he had seen being choked.
Castiel looked around the room once more. There had to be something. He did not want to have to check the rest of the house. That one room gave him the creeps, but he knew that he would have to if he wanted to figure this out. He slowly got up, rising from the dust covered floor, but as he did so, the lights flickered. That's strange. He thought as he subconsciously curled in on himself a little bit. I thought that this house had no electricity…
It's probably just a glitch. He assured himself as he made his way to the staircase, each step creaking as he did so. Typical. This is like your average haunted house, and yet they still don't believe me about a murder that happened here. He rolled his eyes. People could be ridiculous at times, and quite frankly, Castiel had had just about enough of it. We'll see who's crazy when I find proof.
The upstairs was not any less eerie. He ran into yet another spot in the house that was inexplicably cold, sending shivers down his spine, but he shook it off and only clutched onto his own shoulders for warmth. At least his sweater vests came in handy now.
He continued his way down the strangely empty hallway, poking his way into a few empty rooms. None of those had anything useful in them.
Castiel had gone down a whole hallway, and none of the rooms had anything useful, and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He paused at the end of the hallway. There was one more room. It was the last one, but it did not appear to be special. It was the same faded brown frame door as the rest of the rooms had, but it was really Castiel's last hope.
Castiel mentally prayed that the room would contain something of use as he tried the doorknob. It was locked. Just my luck. Of course the room that probably has the evidence I need is locked. He let out a loud groan. This would only happen to me.
Wait a second… Castiel glared at the door suspiciously. If nobody lives here, why is there a locked door? None of the other doors were locked, so what's so special about this one? Who locked it anyway? Castiel could not remove his gaze from the door. That door had a secret, and he wanted to know what it was. Unfortunately enough, he did not know how to pick a lock. He heaved out a heavy frustrated breath. This was probably more frustrating than just having no evidence at all. There may be evidence, but there was a locked door separating him from it.
He tried the door again, but that did not change the fact that the door was locked. He wanted to kick it down, but it was too thick for that, and Castiel did not possess the leg strength.
Feeling utterly frustrated and useless, Castiel turned to go back down the long hallway, strangely feeling like he was being watched.
He did not like it. The feeling was dark, and it frightened him, but that fear only intensified when he felt a cool breath right next to his ear. There was something whispered in his ear, but he could not make out what it was. He tensed up all at once. He was alone in that house. No one should be whispering to him. No one lived there. He took a very hesitant look backwards, but there was nothing there. He really was alone. I need to get out of here. He ran as fast as he could down the stairs and out the door, only giving the house one final look as he bolted down the street, and to Castiel's horror, he found that that glance would prove to be a very large mistake. He should have just kept running, but he didn't. Curiosity overtook him, so he looked back into the house once he was on the safety of the sidewalk. He looked back, and all he saw was a young man with sharp green eyes staring back at him through the window, as if begging him to come back.