When she was young, she would dream her life was different. She would dream that she had a doting mother, a stern but understanding father, maybe even a little brother or sister to play with, but every morning when she woke up the reality of life hit her like a ton of bricks. She was alone in the world. Her own parents couldn't even be bothered to take her somewhere safe before abandoning her.
As she grew up, she went through many homes. Some were scary, some were sad, but the worst were the ones that appeared happy. Emma quickly learned to be very wary of the "happy" houses, as they often hid the worst secrets.
When she was finally able to escape the system, she had fallen in with a crew of street kids. Sure they were a scary and a bit rough around the edges, but at least she knew she couldn't turn her back on them. They offered no loyalty, everyone knew not to be the slowest runner. They taught her to survive. They taught her how to pick a lock. How to use a slim jim. Where the best chop shops were. Everything came with a price, but they didn't pretend to be friends. They were real.
The first person Emma ever truly trusted was Neal Cassidy. He was handsome and worldly and there was something about him that made her feel like she could find her home with him. So she let into her heavily guarded heart.
It was both the greatest joy and biggest mistake of her life.
The time she spent with him was magical. She felt happy for the first time in her life. They planned out a future together, the only problem was that Neal Cassidy was a coward. The moment she needed him most, he ran away, leaving her to go to prison alone, to find out about their child alone, and to decide their child's future alone.
So, she gave him his best chance. The words felt like a balm to her soul. Every time she began to imagine what it might be like to try to raise their child, the phrase came into her head, reminding her of what she needed to do.
The day their baby was born was probably the most unreal day of her life. Handcuffed to a hospital bed, she wept for the comfort of the mother she had never known. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip until the familiar taste of copper grounded her back in reality. This was real. She had to give up the only family she had in the world, but she would do it. She would do it to give her son his best chance.
When she finally got out of prison, the bug was all that awaited her, but at least it was real. It was the only proof she had, other than faded stretch marks marring her otherwise toned abs, that reminded her that Neal had been real. It was a constant reminder of what happened when she let someone in.
When Henry arrived eleven years later, she was sure that it was a dream. Over the years she had been no stranger to dreams of her son finding her. When bounty hunter work was scares, she sometimes helped people find missing loved ones. But she thought that she would have a few more years before a young man with her eyes and his hair and chin showed up at her door.
Disbelief was her constant companion that first year in Storybrooke. Even after she broke the curse, she still had trouble imagining Ruby as Red and Mary Margaret as Snow White, though Regina's alter-ego was probably the easiest to swallow.
But then came Hook. A spark she hadn't felt in years, lit inside her once more. Dueling ideas of the daring pirate and caring gentleman were difficult to reconcile. Leaving him on the beanstalk had been a mistake, but it was like she said, she couldn't risk being wrong about him.
And then he went and proved her right, showing up as Cora's lap dog.
And then he proved her wrong by saving the satchel and letting her win the sword fight.
And then he nearly killed Gold, but after that he came back... For her.
On the island, she was heartbroken. The loss of both Neal and Henry was too much to bear, but Hook's belief in her was intoxicating. They kissed and she knew that she wanted him, but not then. Not like that. Not with Henry waiting for them.
When he showed up in New York, she felt like she almost recognized him. There was something in the back of her mind that whispered he was the phantom in her dreams each night, but it couldn't be real, he was dressed in some weird pirate get up for god's sake. Still, something made her go back and post his bail, something made her believe that what he said might be real.
The return to Storybrooke had been difficult. Accepting that once again she had been fooled by a man, or rather a monkey or a man who was a monkey and then a man and then... The lines of what was real blurred once again in her life. Her mother and father, who appeared to be about the same age as her, were having a baby. A child they could raise themselves. A child that would have the proper presentation that had been stolen from her. A child who would be the Prince or Princess they needed to help rule the next generation. But she wasn't a princess. She was a lost girl. An orphan.
But for all her promises that she would walk away from this life when they were safe once more, she couldn't deny the fear that gripped her heart when Killian was almost killed. She had given up the thing that made her special for him. He had rid her of the curse of being the savior, but as she lay in bed that night she was left with the lingering question of where she belonged.
And then he followed her again. For a terrifying moment when her hand slipped from his, she thought she would be spat out of a portal into a strange world completely alone for the second time in her life, but then he followed her. He helped her on her quest. He offered advice, but he never stopped her from doing what she thought needed to be done (though perhaps he should have). He protected her even from his past self and he held her as she watched her mother die.
He had done it all without asking for a single thing. He never even asked her to stay. He just kept telling her that she was capable of anything. It was once again he who brought her home, she who pulled him in for a kiss, but this time she wasn't leaving. This time when she kissed him, she hoped he knew it was her way of saying that he had won.
More than a year ago, deep in the dense jungle, he had sworn he would win her heart, and through portals and across realms with faith and a herculean amount of patience he had done it. Emma Swan gave her heart to Killian "Hook" Jones in front of Granny's diner, and even though their life together would never be easy, at least it was real.