Title: The Rime of Sebastian Smythe

Rating: M

Characters: Sebastian Smythe – Blaine Anderson – Nick Duval – Sebastian's Parents – David Warbler – Thad Harwood

Summary: Throwing the slushie at Blaine brought a curse upon Sebastian Smythe and in the weeks that follow, he swiftly spirals into a crushing maelstrom of depression that works its dark power faster than he or anyone around him can handle.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Self-harm, Self-harm, Cutting, Implied/Referenced Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Suicide Attempt, OOC

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters. I hate scriptwriting way too much to be a showrunner.

A/N: Canon up to 3x11 "Michael", then I diverge. Passages at the start of each chapter taken from "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

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THE RIME OF SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

Chapter 1:

"At length did cross an Albatross,
Thorough the fog it came;
As if it had been a Christian soul,
We hailed it in God's name."

The halls of Dalton Academy had never felt so crowded before. Sebastian clenched the strap of his messenger bag in his fist as he walked through the bustling halls. But no matter how nondescript he tried to make himself, eyes followed him everywhere. Whispers of 'slushie' and 'Blaine Anderson' and 'traitor' followed him. No one believed Sebastian was capable of such violence against one of their own, despite the Warblers' insistence that it wasn't meant for Blaine. But no one was happy that he'd wanted to hurt Kurt either.

It had been a week since the Jackson-off. That girl, Santana, had tried to make him confess to what he'd done and he'd had to bite back tears after he slushied her. The New Directions had then invited them to their auditorium where everyone ganged up on Sebastian and tried to make him say he was sorry. He'd wanted to get up and join them, to apologise for what he'd done and how he hated himself for it. But all his pride would let him do was sit back, give them a sarcastic clap and walk out with his head held high when they told him to get lost. He'd gone home and listened to the tape of him confessing what he'd done while he cut himself and drenched a towel in his own blood.

He knew he would get away with what he'd done. The Dalton Headmaster had already said there wasn't much he could do about the Blaine incident since it was outside of school hours and outside the campus grounds but he'd given Sebastian a week of after school detention for what he did to Santana. Sebastian accepted his punishment with a small nod and three lines across his right wrist in the west wing bathroom on his way back to Calculus.

Sebastian was on his way to Warblers' practice now but as he reached the doors to the senior commons, Sebastian hesitated. He'd only kept the scheduled practice because he didn't want to cancel another one. He knew he'd have to sit down and look the other Warblers in the eye eventually. They weren't like his lacrosse team which he'd already been kicked off of for his behaviour. Not that he cared – with his arms in the state they were, the less time spent in changing rooms the better. He gripped his left wrist briefly and as the throb of pain moved through him, he opened the door and headed inside to face the Warblers.

Hushed whispers were silenced and eyes, which were now used to the act, flicked to him before gazes dropped to the floor to study shoes and floorboards and the grains of material that made up schoolbags. David, Nick and Thad were sitting at the council table, which Sebastian had thought he'd gotten rid of quite thoroughly, with their hands clasped in front of them and they sighed as they looked at Sebastian.

"Alright guys, that's it for today," David said. "We'll pick this up again tomorrow."

The Warblers hurried out of the senior commons, knocking into Sebastian as they rushed past. Trent gave him a small smile and Sebastian tried to smile back but Jeff knocked into his left arm and the pain turned the gesture to a snarl. Trent ducked his head and scurried away. Sebastian wished he could go after him but when he turned, the councilmen cleared their throats.

"Warbler Sebastian, we need to speak with you." David stood from his seat in the middle of the trio.

"Shouldn't there be a 'captain' somewhere in that sentence?" Sebastian asked with a forced laugh. "And where did you find that table? I was sure I'd hidden it so well that the Easter Bunny would never find it."

"We decided to renounce your captaincy after what you did to Blaine," Thad said as he stood up. "We don't want someone like you speaking for the group as a whole."

Sebastian frowned. "But what about Regionals? My name's down on the participation forms, I have to be there." It was the only thing he was still looking forward to.

"You'll still be going to Regionals," Nick said, standing as well. "You haven't been kicked out of the Warblers. But we couldn't let you get away with what you did to Blaine. What you tried to do to Kurt." The three of them walked out from behind the table and came to stand in front of Sebastian. They each folded their arms across their chests, making themselves look like a D-list boyband from 1993.

"The Headmaster couldn't do anything – that's not my fault," Sebastian said with a shrug. "If Blaine wants to press charges then that's his problem."

"Blaine won't press charges," David said. "We've already spoken to him and he doesn't want you to get in any more trouble."

"I told him he was too forgiving," Thad said. "I told him that you deserve to rot in hell for what you did."

"Control yourself, Warbler Thad," David said. "We're taking the high road here."

Sebastian shook his head. "Alright, fine. You still want to punish me, then punish me. Just get over all this half-assed mob style chicanery and tell me what's gonna happen."

"You're on probation and banned from Warblers practice for one week," David said, averting his eyes for a moment. "One of us will keep you in the loop with the plans for Regionals and you will be taken into consideration for all performances. But you are not to set foot in these commons for a week outside of school hours."

Sebastian's breath was gone, his betrayal weighing on him and pulling him down onto a leather couch. His messenger bag fell from his shoulder and tugged on his arm, pain sparking along his nerves.

"We trust that you'll adhere to these guidelines, Sebastian," David said. "We'll see you at next Monday's practice."

Sebastian nodded, numb, and listened as they left. When he heard the doors close, he shook off the strap of his bag and leaned forward to hold his head in his hands as tears began to slip down his cheeks.

"Woah, Sebastian, it's okay."

He jumped at the sound of Nick's voice, looking up and watching as his friend sat down beside him.

"It's just a week," Nick said with a soft smile. "Enjoy some spare time. Get ahead on your homework or something. I'm sure you'll find a use for the time while you've got it."

Sebastian shook his head. "I can't. I can't be without this for a week. Not now."

"What are you talking about?"

"No one's talking to me, Nick. No one trusts me. They're angry and they have a right to be but I can't deal with it anymore! I can't lose the Warblers too!"

"Woah, okay, it's alright. Just, take a breath or two," Nick paused. "How about you go see Blaine?"

Sebastian sniffed and clasped a hand around his wrist, trying to make his grip seem nervous rather than purposeful as he squeezed the bandaged cuts that hid beneath his blazer. "Blaine won't want to see me. And even if he does, Kurt wouldn't let me within a mile of him."

"Well, I have it on good authority that Blaine is at home right now and he's very bored because Kurt is helping Rachel with wedding plans." Nick was looking at his phone before he showed the screen to Sebastian, the latest text message from Blaine reporting the same information. "I can drive you over there if you want."

"Do you really think he'd want to see me?"

"He asked how you've been when Thad and I visited him in the hospital after it happened. He may have been angry that you tried to hurt Kurt but he's still worried about you."

Sebastian nodded, thinking about the conversations he'd had with Blaine before all this happened. Blaine could always sense when something was wrong with him though he never found out how Sebastian coped with it. He didn't need to know.

"Come on," Nick said as he stood up. "We'll head over to Blaine's, pick up some donuts or something on the way. Oh, do you know Blaine's coffee order? We could get coffee for him if you do."

"Yeah, I know his coffee order." A smile tugged at his lips.

"Excellent. Off we go then."

The ride to Blaine's stretched on into eternity. Once they'd picked up the coffee and donuts, Sebastian tapped his fingers ceaselessly against the tray that he balanced on his lap while Nick drove. The uniformity of the streets they passed once they reached Blaine's neighbourhood made Sebastian nervous. Was everything in Blaine's world perfect except for the school he went to? How had Blaine managed to have a life so together when Sebastian's was so all over the place?

Pulling up outside Blaine's, Nick took the coffees while Sebastian carried the donut box and they made the short walk up Blaine's front path before Nick rapped on the door. After a bang and a crash, the door opened to reveal a tall woman with long brown hair and eyes the same warm brown as Blaine's.

"Nick! How lovely to see you again. You come by to see Blaine?"

"Hey Pam. Yeah. This is Jake – he's a new Warbler who Blaine was helping out before he transferred to McKinley."

"Lovely to meet you, Jake," Pam said as she let them inside. "Blaine's upstairs watching TV if you wanna go up. You remember the way?"

"Yes ma'am," Nick said with a nod before he started up the stairs. Sebastian offered a small smile to Blaine's mother before he followed Nick.

"So my name's Jake now?" Sebastian whispered as they walked down a hallway.

"You really think she'd let you in if she knew you're the one responsible for maiming her youngest child?"

"Point taken."

Nick stopped at the door at the end of the hall and knocked before walking in. The light was low and a TV hummed and flickered in a corner but the figure in the bed that took up the centre of the room lay still. Nick set the coffees down on the nightstand and flicked on a lamp before shaking Blaine's shoulder.

"Blaine, it's Nick. Wake up, old man."

There was a groan and a rustle before Blaine sat up. He smiled at Nick before he turned to face Sebastian. A patch was secured over his right eye and he wore dark blue pyjamas with red trim which made Sebastian smile.

"What are you two doing here?" Blaine asked, not taking his uninjured eye off Sebastian. There was no malice in his expression but his unwavering gaze and the bright gauze beneath the patch made Sebastian's skin crawl.

Nick sat down in the chair beside the bed and handed Blaine his coffee. "One medium drip for you. It's been a bit of a rough week back at Dalton so we thought we'd drop by and see what Blaine 'Living Sunshine' Anderson was up to."

"You still taking your coffee with Courvoisier, Sebastian?" Blaine asked before he took a sip.

"Only when I can get it." Sebastian put the box of donuts down on the end of the bed. "We brought donuts too."

"Mmm, sounds tempting, but Kurt will kill me. He says I've already been too indulgent since," Blaine gestured to his eyes, "you know."

"Screw Kurt," Nick said as he reached for the box. "You're sick and you're allowed to do whatever you want when you're sick. Especially if it involves donuts."

Blaine laughed and took the chocolate glazed donut he was handed before he gestured to a stool on the other side of the bed. "You can sit down, Sebastian. The chair won't bite."

Sebastian grimaced as he took a seat. Nick handed him his coffee and pushed the donuts towards him but he didn't take any. He just looked at Blaine while the boy nibbled on his donut.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine," Sebastian blurted after a long moment of silence. "I didn't mean to hurt you and I'm sorry that I was trying to hurt Kurt. That was ridiculous and awful and I'm disgusting and horrible and I can't stop cut-" He clamped a hand over his left wrist and watched as his hand shook and his coffee fell to the floor, warm brown liquid spilling across the carpet. "Oh shit."

"Nick, there's towels in the bathroom," Blaine said as he pushed the blankets off and stood up. "Second door on the left."

Nick dashed from the room while Sebastian knelt down and picked up his coffee cup. He knew the cream carpet would stain and there'd be no way of hiding it. How could he have been so stupid?

"It's okay, Seb," Blaine said as he knelt down beside him, a small cloth in hand, and began to mop up the mess. "No harm done. At least not to the carpet."

"I'm fine, it's nothing," Sebastian murmured.

"Look on my nightstand and find my phone. Put your number in it."

"I thought you had my number," Sebastian mumbled as he stood up to fetch Blaine's phone. He'd been waiting for Blaine to text him how much he hated him and that he never wanted to see Sebastian ever again.

"I crushed it when I dove in front of Kurt. It was a heroic death that will go down in show choir battle history but it meant that I lost all my contacts. Can you grab the other towel off my dresser?"

Sebastian returned with the towel and Blaine's phone. He handed the towel to Blaine and quickly keyed in his number before tossing the phone onto the bed. "Let me mop that up, Blaine."

Blaine nodded, handing the towel to Sebastian and leaning back against the bed. "Have you ever read Coleridge's 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner'?"

"Yeah, we're studying it now. Don't know why. There aren't many of us bound to end up sailors."

"That stuff – with the albatross – always gets me thinking. I don't know much about albatrosses but I can imagine that having one around your neck would get pretty heavy after not very long. Keeping a secret or pursuing an unattainable goal. That's gotta weigh a person down, make it hard to see when what they're doing is starting to hurt them."

Sebastian focused on soaking up his spilled coffee but what he hadn't gotten out already would need carpet cleaner. Still, he tried to scrub it out with the towel and ignored Blaine and the pain in his arms.

Blaine lowered his voice. "Seb, if you're hurting yourself, you need to talk to someone." He touched Sebastian's shoulder, watching how he tensed beneath his touch. "If you wanna talk, please call me. My number's the same."

Sebastian nodded and got to his feet. "Sure. Whatever. Do you want a hand back into bed?"

"Please. They've got me on these pain meds that make me so tired."

While Sebastian was helping Blaine back into bed, Nick returned with towels and carpet spray. He tended to the stain on the carpet while Sebastian gathered up the coffee-drenched towels and tossed them in the laundry hamper.

"Is there anything else we can do?" Nick asked as he got up from cleaning the carpet. "Do you need your curtains torn to shreds or your doorknobs put in upside down?"

Blaine managed a small smile but his eye was lidded and he'd snuggled down into the blankets. "No, I'm alright. I could do with some sleep though."

"Okay, we'll head off," Nick said. "It's a long drive back to Westerville after all."

"Text if you need anything, Seb."

Sebastian nodded as Blaine's eye drifted shut and he began to snore. Stepping forward, Sebastian pulled the blankets up over Blaine while Nick grabbed the donut box and the empty coffee tray.

As they headed downstairs, Nick cleared his throat.

"Why did Blaine tell you to text him?" he asked.

"Just being nice," Sebastian murmured. "You know Blaine."

Nick nodded but Sebastian knew there were questions buzzing away in his head. He wouldn't answer them. Besides, if Blaine knew what he was doing just from what little slip surely it wouldn't take long for the rest of the Warblers to figure it out.