This story pushed at me insistently for about three days until I was finally forced to sit down and write it. I think, perhaps, it is my finest work to date, but I'll let you all be the judge. The notes for this story are at the end of the message.
This is extremely, EXTREMELY, angst-filled and sad. It involves the slow death of one character and believe me, it's not pretty. It's controversial, it's sad, it's disturbing, and it's meant to be that way. If you're not into that, then I don't recommend that you read this story. So, please, take this into consideration before reading any further.
Also, I've gotten a lot of flames, complaints, comments, etc. about the fact that I've associated AIDS with a gay character. Here's the reality: Gay people get AIDS. So do straight people. So do young and old people. Black and white. I'm not making any kind of statement here. I based the story on Paula Cole's song "hush, hush, hush" which is about a young gay man dying of complications from AIDS. I was also inspired to write this as a tribute to my father (see below), a gay man who died of a severe illness. That's the extent of the parallels I'm drawing. If you think you see something more, something sinister or some political or moral agenda, I suggest you either read this again or take a look at your own issues.
Thank you.
-- Suze
Categories: A, M
Summary: The members of the Quest family deal with the death of one of their own.
Archivers: Please let me know where and make sure you include this intro and author's notes at the end.
THE REALLY, REALLY ANGSTY ADVENTURES OF JONNY QUEST
"Hush"
by
Susan Howe (Suze)
For my father.
Long white arms losing their strength and form,
Sixty year man on twenty year old skin.
Skeleton, your eyes have lost their warmth,
And look to your father for some support.
9:43pm
As Dr. Barbara Mason exited the bedroom, she stopped short. No matter how many times she experienced it, she would never get used to the sight of grief. True grief. And that this man should have to suffer through it twice in one lifetime was a fate that he did not deserve.
For the first time since she had met him, Benton Quest appeared old. Before, he had always been vital and active...but now his body vividly marked the toll that the past few years had taken upon him. His face was pale beneath a beard that had gone gray with stress. His eyes were dull, lifeless, and red-rimmed from too many sleepless nights and countless tears. He sat slumped in the chair with his arms wrapped around his too-thin frame, almost as though trying to physically shield himself from any further hurt.
Dr. Mason sighed heavily, for she knew she would have to shatter that protective shell, once and for all. "Benton?" She hesitated, unable to say the words, but he read the truth in her eyes.
"It's time," he whispered hoarsely.
She nodded, eyes cast downward, as though ashamed to be the one to bear this awful news. Benton took a deep breath and levered himself up out of the chair. Then he simply stared at the closed door. A small sound escaped his lips, and his body suddenly shook with silent sobs. Dr. Mason reached out and pulled the ravaged man into a tight embrace. He clung to her like a lifeline as she rubbed his back and murmured softly, "I'm so sorry, Benton. I wish there was something more I could do...I wish..." She trailed off, not knowing what to say.
After a moment, Benton sighed heavily and pulled away. As he wiped his eyes, he offered her a small grateful smile. "I know you did everything you could, Barbara. More than I thought possible. Thank you."
Dr. Mason's calm facade crumbled slightly, and her eyes misted with tears. She squeezed his hand briefly, then moved to collect her things. After a moment, she turned to see him staring once again at the closed door. "Benton?" His gaze flicked over to her. "If you need anything..." He nodded slightly, then his gaze returned to the door. With one last pained glance, Dr. Mason disappeared down the stairwell.
Benton was alone.
After composing himself as much as possible, he reached for the door handle with a shaking hand and slowly turned the knob. As he opened the door, Benton found himself awash in a dizzying array of sensory input: The heavily perfumed flowers that couldn't quite overpower the acrid smell of antiseptics...the constant whirring and beeping of medical equipment...the riot of color - flowers, posters, and other gifts that lined the walls...but most of all, the overwhelming presence of Death that hung over the room like the sword over Damocles - just waiting for the thread to break. Waiting for the inevitable.
Silently, Benton walked through the room, almost heedless of the other members of his family who huddled together in mutual grief. He sat down in the small chair beside the bed, and then ever so gently took the hand of the young man who lay upon it.
Eyelids in sunken sockets fluttered momentarily, then opened slightly as the dark eyes tried to focus on the new visitor. Cracked, dry lips parted into the ghost of a smile.
"Father..."
Benton closed his eyes against the wave of pain that threatened to break over him, then opened them and gazed sadly at his son.
"Yes, Hadji, I'm here...Father's here..."
Hush, hush, hush...says your Daddy's touch.
Sleep, sleep, sleep...says the hundredth sheep.
Peace, peace, peace...May you go in peace.
10:12pm
Benton stared at the sleeping form on the bed. The other members of his family had drifted out of the sick room one by one, and eventually he was alone.
Mrs. Evans had been the first to go. She was now bustling around, fielding phone calls and generally keeping the house running smoothly. Benton was glad of her steadying, practical presence. He didn't know how he would have managed all of these months without her support.
Then Jonny had taken Jessie, eight months pregnant with their first child, to their room. They were both at the end of their endurance, and Jonny knew that if Jessie didn't catch up on some sleep, there could be some serious complications. So he ushered her away from Hadji's bedside and stayed with her to make sure that she got some rest.
And finally, Race had gone to Bangor to pick up Neela from the airport. Benton glanced at his watch. Her flight was due in at any moment, but she would still have to pass through customs and then make the hour and a half drive to the Compound. Benton prayed that it would not be too late.
His gaze once again fell upon the sleeping figure. Benton could hardly believe that this was the same young man who had scaled mountains, learned the ways of the yogin, and traveled all over the world, experiencing one adventure after another. He could hardly believe this was his son.
Hadji had been diagnosed with HIV at the age of 21. It was a devastating blow, but he had accepted his fate with the same calm and faith that he had exhibited throughout his young life. He tried every medicinal and non-medicinal avenue open to him, from AZT to acupuncture, but for the next eight years he continued his studies, continued his work with his father, and continued to live his life to the fullest.
Then, six months ago, Dr. Mason sadly informed him that he had developed full-blown AIDS. It was now only a matter of time.
Still, Hadji refused to give in to despair and lethargy. Benton had marveled at his son's seemingly bottomless reserves of strength. At this point, they abandoned all other research to focus on finding a cure for AIDS. They worked tirelessly...constantly. Benton called in every expert he could find, and invested countless amounts of money. Hadji offered to be the guinea pig and tried out several promising medications...but none of them were THE one. Never the cure.
And finally, last month, Hadji collapsed. He had contracted PCP...Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia...a common infection amongst people suffering from AIDS. And one of the most deadly. He was immediately hospitalized and they pumped him full of every antibiotic possible, but to no avail. His poor body had simply been pushed beyond its limits. He continued to degenerate over the next few weeks. He suffered from high fevers, drenching sweats, and a wracking dry cough. Ulcers formed on his esophagus and stomach lining, eventually making a nasal-gastric feeding tube necessary. Hadji hated that tube, but he was too weak and sick to put up much resistance. The tube pumped in just enough sustenance to keep him alive, but Hadji began to lose weight at an alarming speed. In just four weeks, he lost 52 pounds from a frame that could little afford it. His glowing dusky skin turned a sickly ashen color and stretched tight over his protruding bones, ribs, and skull. His beautiful coal black curls had thinned dramatically and turned gray. But perhaps worst of all, his dark eyes that were once so full of fire and life, had sunken into hollow pits...dull and empty. At last, the doctors acknowledged that they could do no more for Hadji, and encouraged Benton to take him home. Take him home to die.
So he had.
And as Benton looked down at the wasted remains of his beloved adopted son, he couldn't stop the sobs that rose up from his throat, and the pain overwhelmed him. Tears coursed unchecked down his cheeks as he clasped Hadji's hand in his and bent over it, as though in prayer. Suddenly, a torrent of whispered words came tumbling from his lips.
"Please forgive me please forgive me please forgive me I couldn't find the cure I tried so hard tried so hard but nothing ever worked please forgive me I love you so much please don't go please don't leave me like this Oh God how can you do this to him he doesn't deserve this he doesn't deserve this take me instead please God take me instead he doesn't deserve this please forgive me..."
A small snuffling sound stopped the stream of entreaties, and Benton looked up. Hadji gazed at his father with tears in his eyes. With an effort, he lifted his hand and gently caressed Benton's cheek. In a halting voice, punctuated by gasps for breath he said, "Do not...do not blame yourself, Father... There is nothing to forgive...you did all that you could.... We all did." Hadji shrugged slightly. "It is not your fault that we could not find the cure in time..." His hand dropped limply to the bed and he closed his eyes. "Promise me one thing, Father..."
Benton clasped the young man's hand to his heart. "Anything, Son... What can I do?"
Hadji swallowed hard. "Continue...the research...." He opened his eyes and gazed at Benton steadily. "You will find the cure...I know that we are close... No one else should have to...suffer this... Promise me you will continue until you find the cure..."
Benton gently brushed back a wayward lock of his son's hair and kissed him on the forehead. Hadji smiled slightly and closed his eyes again.
"I promise, Son...I promise...."
Cruel joke you waited so long to show,
The one that you wanted wasn't a girl.
All your life you kept it hidden inside,
Now when you step, you stumble, you die.
10:45pm
"Are you...disappointed in me?"
Benton glanced up, startled. He thought that Hadji had fallen asleep. "Of course not! Why would you think that?"
Hadji cast his eyes downward. "Because I wasn't...everything you expected me to be...because I...never...I did not...want..."
Benton suddenly understood. "Because you're gay."
"Yes." Hadji sighed. "I feel...sometimes...like I am being punished...." He looked at his father pleadingly. "What did I do, Father? Did I go wrong somewhere? Should I have done something differently? Why..." Hadji clenched his fists feebly, as his eyes flared in an echo of their former passion. "Why me?"
Benton sighed and took Hadji's hands in his once again. "I am not, I never have been, and I never will be disappointed in you. Nothing could be further from the truth, Son. I admit, I was startled when you brought Mark home the first time, but..." Benton smiled at the memory. "You were so in love with him, how could I ever fault you for that?"
Benton sobered and looked at his son intently. "Hadji, I admire you more than you will ever know. You had the courage to love in spite of incredible odds. When Mark told you he was HIV positive, you could have chosen to walk away right then and there, but you didn't." Benton shrugged. "You chose to stick it out, despite the illness and even though your relationship wasn't 'acceptable' to society. But as far as I'm concerned, whether the relationship is between members of the opposite sex or members of the same sex, love is still love. How could I be unhappy that you were true to yourself? I would have been disappointed if you'd continued to deny your feelings, in an effort to 'fit in'."
Benton slipped an arm around Hadji's shoulders and the young man leaned against him. "This isn't a punishment...this is an illness. Think of it this way: If you had contracted malaria during one of our ventures into the jungle, would you have considered that a punishment?" Hadji shook his head. "No, you wouldn't. AIDS isn't some sort of divine retribution, and it's sad that people portray it as such. You can't help what happened to you..."
"But if we had been more careful...maybe..."
Benton looked at him seriously. "Hadji, I know that you did everything possible, short of celibacy, to protect yourself from this disease. This is a tragic twist of fate, and it is NOT your fault..."
Hadji closed his eyes once more and rested his head on Benton's shoulder. "I just wish..."
Benton hugged him gently. "I know, Son...I know..."
Hush, hush, hush...says your Daddy's touch.
Sleep, sleep, sleep...says the hundredth sheep.
Peace, peace, peace...May you go in peace.
11:03pm
Benton glanced up as door opened softly and Jonny and Jessie entered. "I thought you two were resting...is everything okay?"
Jessie grimaced ruefully as she waddled to the opposite side of the bed. "Everything is fine. Junior here," she gestured to her burgeoning stomach, "decided that it was time to start doing gymnastics and I couldn't sleep." She shrugged. "We figured that if weren't going to be able to sleep, we may as well hang out here."
Hadji glanced at her in concern. "You really should...get some rest..."
Jessie laughed. "Listen to him! Here he is, just about as sick as he can get, and he's telling ME to rest!"
Jonny winked at his brother and grinned at his wife. "He's right, you know..." He was rewarded with a swat to the arm.
"Great," Jessie grumbled, "Now you're ganging up on me..."
Jonny and Benton laughed as Jessie rolled her eyes. Hadji smiled at her. "Come, Jessie...lie here with me...we will...both...rest..."
She looked at him carefully. "Are you sure that's okay?"
"Yes...let me...move over a little..." Hadji worked himself over to one side of the bed, then Jonny helped Jessie cautiously climb in next to him. She lay on her side and wrapped an arm about Hadji's shoulders. He snuggled next to her and laid a hand on her swollen belly, then smiled as the baby kicked against his palm. "You are...going to have...quite an athlete...."
Jessie rolled her eyes again. "I'm just hoping that he'll be a little less active after he's born. If not, we're going to be constantly run ragged."
Benton snickered softly. "I think that turnabout is fair play..." Jessie stuck her tongue out at him as Jonny let out a small sound of protest.
Hadji sighed softly and tenderly stroked Jessie's belly as he whispered, "I wish that I...could have the chance to meet you...little one..."
Jessie stiffened and her face crumbled. Tears began to course down her cheeks as she hugged Hadji tighter. "Oh, Hadji..." she whispered. "This is so unfair! We wanted the baby to know his uncle...we wanted you to be the godfather...we...we....if it's a boy....we...wanted to name him after you....." She broke down sobbing, unable to continue.
Suddenly, Hadji made a sound that was suspiciously like a chuckle...then another...then another and another, until he had burst out into full laughter.
Jessie looked up, confused, "What? What is it?"
Hadji sniffed and hugged her. "Oh, Jessie...thank you! I have not...laughed like that...in so long....I..I just...pictured....a blonde-haired....green-eyed....boy......with the name of....Hadji Quest!" He dissolved into another gale of laughter that finally ended in a painful coughing bout. When it subsided, Hadji lay back against the pillows, drained, but smiling. "You....you cannot...do that....to that...poor baby...."
Jessie sniffed and wiped her eyes, as she giggled, "I guess we would be guaranteeing that the poor kid would get beat up every day of his life!"
Jonny smiled at his brother. "I'll tell you what...how about you help us name the baby, then? Would that be okay with you, Jess?"
She grinned. "That's a great idea!"
Hadji nodded. "What names...do you...have in mind?"
"Well, for a boy," Jessie said, "if we didn't go with Hadji, we were going to name him Christopher...Dr. Quest's middle name."
"And Rachel if it's a girl," Jonny added, "...after Mom." Benton Quest smiled gratefully at his son and daughter-in-law. "But we still need middle names. What do you think, Hadj?"
Hadji thought for a moment. "How about...Michael for a boy and....Katherine for a girl..."
Jessie repeated the names, trying them out. "Christopher Michael Quest and Rachel Katherine Quest...hmmmmm... What do you think, Jonny?"
Jonny smiled broadly, "I think we have a winner. Thanks, Hadj...."
Hadji smiled and closed his eyes, once again snuggling into Jessie's comforting embrace.
Oh, maybe next time you'll be Henry the Eighth
Wake up tomorrow Alexander the Great.
11:23pm
Benton watched helplessly as his son fought the inexorable fate of his ravaged body. Hadji's lungs were rapidly filling up, and it was becoming increasing difficult for him to breathe. Jonny had taken Jessie's place on the bed and was attempting to keep Hadji levered to ease his breathing, but he was simply too weak to cough up the damaging fluids, and his body was slowly being starved of oxygen. Tears sprang to Benton's eyes as he saw Hadji's pale lips take on a bluish tinge, and his labored, wheezing breaths sounded like a death knell. It wouldn't be much longer.
"Fa..ther...."
The words were so soft that Benton almost missed them. He blinked back the tears and leaned in close to the bed. "Yes, Hadji?"
Pain stabbed at Benton like a knife as Hadji looked at him with huge, fear-filled eyes. "I...I...am....scared...Father....." he whispered hoarsely.
Jessie sobbed quietly and clasped Hadji's hands in hers. Jonny closed his eyes and rocked his brother gently. Benton looked at his son steadily as he reached out and caressed his cheek. "I know you are, Son." Benton took a deep breath and spoke as much to himself as to Hadji. "I have always believed in an existence beyond this one. We, as human beings, experience so many trials and tribulations in this life. I simply can't believe that this is the end...there must be something else beyond this life. I have seen and been witness to far too many things - ghosts, visions, psychic phenomena - to believe that we are limited to these mortal shells. Every faith believes in some sort of life beyond this one. From reincarnation to heaven, the result is essentially the same - we're working toward a higher plain of existence. I know that you have experienced some of this yourself, Hadji." Hadji nodded feebly and Benton focused on him once more. "Whatever the ultimate truth is, I know that you will be just fine, Son. Karma owes you a better turn of the wheel than this one, and you are guaranteed a prime spot in Heaven." Benton sniffed and whispered, "I wish you didn't have to go on this next adventure without us, but know this...we will always....always be with you. We love you, Hadji." Hadji's eyes closed, and tears rolled down Benton's cheeks as he kissed his son gently. "Go to sleep, Hadji. We'll be here when you wake..."
Hadji's labored breathing calmed, a peaceful smile came over his face, and he fell asleep.
Open your eyes in a new life again.
Oh, maybe next time you'll be given a chance.
11:41pm
Hadji never woke.
Jonny continued to rock him gently, as his breath came in shallow gasps. It was as though the rest of Hadji's body had shut down in order to expend all of its energy on the task of clinging to life. Jessie paced the room restlessly, looking out the window every few moments, praying earnestly that her father and Neela would arrive soon. She knew that if they didn't get here within the next few minutes, it would be too late. She glanced over and her gaze locked with Dr. Quest's. He nodded. He knew it, too.
Benton clasped Hadji's hand in his and murmured to him softly. "Please, Son...please hold on. They'll be here soon, I know it..." Suddenly, Benton jumped.
Jonny looked at his father in concern. "What is it?"
"He squeezed my hand! He's still conscious!"
Jessie waddled over. "What? You mean he can still hear us?"
Benton took Hadji's hand again. "Can you hear us, Son?"
Squeeze.
Benton swallowed. "Yes."
"Oh, God..." Jonny exclaimed. "Hadji...one squeeze for yes, two squeezes for no, okay?"
Squeeze.
"Yes."
Jessie laid a cool hand on Hadji's fevered brow. "Can we get anything for you?"
Squeeze. Squeeze.
"He says 'no'," Benton informed them. He took a deep breath. "Are you in a lot of pain, Son?"
There was a long pause. Then...
Squeeze.
Benton looked at Jonny and Jessie sadly. "Yes."
"There must be something we can do for him!" Jessie exclaimed.
Jonny looked at them and said quietly, "There is....Questworld."
Benton's head snapped up. "Of course! At least there he can spend his last few moments without pain." He addressed Hadji, "We're going to take you to Questworld, Son, is that okay?"
Squeeze.
"Let's move!"
Quickly, Benton turned off all of the monitors, unhooked all of the leads, and removed all of the IVs. Finally, he removed the dreaded tube, and he could almost hear Hadji's sigh of relief. Jessie found a large blanket and they wrapped Hadji in it until he resembled a large swaddled baby. Then Benton carefully picked up his son, and tears sprang to his eyes as he realized how light he was...how little was left of this once robust young man. Shaking himself, he rushed downstairs, out the door, and onto the path to the lighthouse. After helping Jessie down the stairs, Jonny quickly followed his father, while Jessie found Mrs. Evans.
"Landsakes, child!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed. "What is going on? Where is everyone going?"
"No time to explain! Please try to get in touch with my father - he should be on his way back from Bangor right now. When he shows up, tell him to bring Neela to the lighthouse immediately!"
"What? What's going..."
But Jessie had already hustled out the door.
By the time she reached the Questworld Lab, Jessie was flushed and breathless. Jonny ran over to her and helped her into a chair. He looked at her worriedly, "Are you all right, Jess?"
"Yes....yes...I'll be fine. Just need a sec..." She looked beyond him to see Benton struggling to get into one of the Questworld chairs. "Go help your father...I'll be okay..."
Jonny nodded and kissed her forehead. Then he walked over to the VR area. "Dad, let me take Hadj while you get in."
Benton sighed. "Alright..." Gently, he passed his elder son into the hands of his younger son. He saw the shock that he had felt earlier mirrored in Jonny's eyes. "I know, Son...I know..." Carefully, he climbed into the contoured chair, then Jonny lowered his brother into his father's lap. Benton settled the young man more comfortably, then laid his head back.
"You all set, Dad?" Jonny asked.
"As much as I'll ever be..."
Jonny nodded and walked back over to the console. "Jessie...you know you can't come into Questworld with us...it would be too dangerous."
She looked up at him sadly. "I know...I'll stay here and be the monitor." She handed him the earpieces. "Give him a hug for me?"
Jonny accepted the equipment and kissed his wife again. "Sure thing, sweetheart. I love you."
"I love you, too. Now go on..."
Jonny placed the headgear on Hadji and Benton, then climbed into the other chair and put the final piece on himself. "All set, Jess."
Jessie entered a string of commands into the computer console and activated the Questworld system. "Questworld Logon... Subjects: Jonny Quest, Benton Quest, and Hadji Singh... Going hot!"
There was a blinding flash of light, then the trio found themselves...in Quest Compound? Jonny looked around for a moment, confused. "Jess? What program is this?"
"I believe I can answer that..."
"HADJI!!!" Jonny spun around and saw the computer-generated forms of his father and brother. Dr. Quest had improved the Questworld graphics to the point where it was barely discernible from the real world. There before him stood his brother, as healthy and hearty as he had been before the illness ravaged his body. Jonny ran over and hugged Hadji tightly. "That's from Jessie."
Hadji smiled. "She is the monitor, I take it?"
"Yeah, I just couldn't let her enter Questworld in her condition."
A disembodied voice boomed over them, "You couldn't LET me???"
Benton and Hadji chuckled as Jonny looked at them sheepishly. "Ooops. Forgot that she can hear me..."
"You're damn right I can hear you!" The voice softened, "How are you, Hadji?"
Hadji sighed, "Well, right now, here in Questworld, I feel perfectly fine. But it won't last..."
Benton wrapped an arm about his son's shoulders, "It was the best we could do. We couldn't let you go...like that..." He trailed off, not sure what to say.
Hadji squeezed his hand. "I know, Father. Thank you."
Jonny looked around them. They appeared to be in a replica of the Quest Compound grounds, including the main house, the lighthouse, the cliffs and the beach. "What is this place?"
Hadji smiled proudly. "This is Virtual Quest Compound. I was working on it before I became ill. It was originally created to run disaster scenarios, to test IRIS' defense systems, but I think I like this application much better...." He sighed and looked around. "I will miss this place...and I will miss all of you..." Hadji's virtual form shimmered and shifted. He sighed and quoted softly, "'If we had but world enough and time'..." He turned his face toward the heavens. "Jessie?"
The disembodied voice returned, "Yes, Hadji?"
"I have always admired your fire and passion...how you cling tenaciously to your ideals despite all the odds. Thank you for being my sister and my friend. Thank you for challenging me and kicking me in the rear when I needed it..."
A watery laugh echoed through the virtual world. "You're welcome, Hadji....I love you and I'll miss you very much..."
Hadji turned to the young man beside him. "Jonny...you have a depth of compassion and commitment unlike anyone else I have ever known. Never stop leading with your heart instead of your head, my friend...my brother..."
Jonny sobbed and pulled his brother into a tight embrace. "Oh, God...how will I get along without you, Hadj? I love you..."
Slowly, Hadji drew back and spun to face his father. "Father...I...I...." He swallowed hard. "You saved my life that day in Calcutta. I surely would have died before my 15th birthday if left on the streets. I was never meant for that life and I think Pasha knew it - that's why he let me go."
Hadji's virtual form continued to shift and shimmer in ever-increasing waves. He knew that his time was up. He walked over and embraced his father firmly. "The years that I have spent with you have been the best of my life. I have seen more and done more than people who have lived to 100 years of age...it has been a good life. Who could ask for more than that? I love you, Father..."
Hadji stepped back and surveyed the only place he had called home, one last time. "Tell my mother and Race that I love them. I love you all..." The waves shimmered faster and faster. He smiled sadly at his family.
"Thank you for my life..."
Hadji's virtual form rippled for a moment longer...then disappeared.
Hush, hush, hush...
Midnight
There was another flash of light, and they were back in the Questworld Lab. Jessie blindly entered a few final commands, and the Questworld system powered down. The family stared at each other in shocked silence.
At that moment, the doors burst open and Race and Neela rushed in. "I am here!" Neela called. "Hadji... Hadji?" Jessie let out a sob and threw herself into Jonny's arms. The young couple clung each other and cried softly. Neela looked around in confusion. "Hadji?" Wordlessly, Race pointed to where Benton sat, cradling the young man in his arms. Slowly, Neela approached them and laid a hand on Hadji's arm. "Hadji?" she whispered. Benton looked up at last, and she could see the tears coursing down his cheeks. "No...no....no no nonononononononononononooooooo..."
Benton let out a strangled sob as he slowly rocked the body of his son.
"He's gone."
THE END
Lyrics for "hush, hush, hush" © 1997 Paula Cole. This song can be found on the album This Fire available from Warner Bros. Records.
Story © 1998 Susan R. Howe
This story came to me full-blown while listening to the song "hush, hush, hush" by Paula Cole. I was drawn by it's haunting refrain and poignant lyrics, and I just had to write this.
AIDS is an insidious, devastating disease that continues to ravage our world community. Though great strides have been made, there is still no cure.
In an effort to make this story as realistic as possible, I visited a web site called "The Body" (http://thebody.com/) which is a clearing house for all sorts of AIDS/HIV-related materials. I was particularly drawn by the Loel Poor Photo Exhibition. Being able to see the effects of this disease, right there in front of me, not only helped shape this humble little story, but renewed by own personal commitment to the cause of finding a cure.
I'd love to hear your comments and feedback about this story (e-mail me at suze1@mediaone.net), but I'd be ecstatic if it inspires even one of you to learn more about and do more for the fight against AIDS.
Thank you and be well.
-- Suze
P.S. Hadji groupies, *please* don't hurt me! I love Hadji, too, and I promise he'll fare better in my next fic!