The sun set over the Crystal Temple statue. Steven had a good day with Connie, as they went to see Dogcopter 4. Unfortunately, large pink cats weren't allowed in the theater, so they had to go without Lion. The 4th installment was a cheap cash grab, and does not pay attention to the original book series, according to Connie. But Steven thought it was a decent movie. He headed back home and walked up the stairs.
When he came back home, Steven found spilled water, milk, and jam everywhere. Chip bags and jars were scattered everywhere! Even parts and game pieces from his board games were torn up and had teeth marks on them.
"Lion…?" Steven quietly said. He shouted "LION!" but nobody said anything. Oh well. He walked over to the fridge and opened it. Nothing but a barren desert of empty cans and plastic. Even the plastic had a small bite taken out of it.
"AMETHYST! WHY DID YOU—"
Suddenly, he heard a quiet crunch. Then another one. It was apparently coming from upstairs. Steven walked up there quickly.
Of course it was Peridot. She was sitting on Steven's bed surrounded by chip bags. She slowly turned her head to him and said "Oh, hi Steven!"
"Seriously? YOU ATE EVERYTHING! EVEN MY COOKIE CATS! AND THOSE ARE LIKE THREE MONTHS EXPIRED! WHY—"
"Shh." Peri whispered. "I'm learning about human biology and culture!"
"…What?" Steven pouted and crossed his arms.
"Look at THIS! Simplistic human inside anatomy! It's amazing!" Peridot turned the TV on to a boring documentary about the body. "Look at ME!"
She held out her tongue and took a deep breath in, stuffing chips into her mouth.
Peridot stuttered.
"Amethyst talked to me about this "eating"… AND IT IS THE MOST UNIQUE THING SINCE YELLOW—I-I mean…Camp Pining Hearts!"
"I've also learned about the 'longs', 'muss cells', and 'in test ins'!"
Steven chuckled.
"I've been searching up about the organic human features all day…"
"and look at ME! I KNOW EVERYTHING! I'M BETTER THAN A HUMAN!"
Peridot shrieked with glee. "But for some reason…there are much more videos of one specific organ. Look!"
Peri switched the TV channel to one Steven didn't recognize. But he immediately realized what was on it.
Loud jazz music was playing. Loud moans.
He stood still in a mix of shock, embarrassment, and maybe the slightest hint of interest. Steven quickly covered his eyes. It was porn.
"It's odd. The human with longer hair and a larger chest-to-body ratio keeps yelling 'deeper! deeper!'"
"TURN IT OFF TURN IT O—" yelled Steven but was interrupted by Peridot again.
"Also, Steven, apparently there are two forms of lower organs near your butt. What are "pussies" and "dicks?" Does it matter on your hair length? Does it matter on your weight? Which one do you have?" Peridot reached for Steven's jeans.
"STOP!" Steven slapped Peridot's face and ran over to the remote and immediately turned the TV off.
"NO! DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! DON'T EVEN THINK OF IT! I'M FREAKING 14!"
"But…" Peridot whimpered like a dog and ran away.
"…" Steven walked around seeing the mess and began to pick up stuff.
"Well…that could've gone a lot worse. At least the author didn't continue the story."