Black Butterflies and Violet Eyes
The rain tapped gently at the window Byakuya Kuchiki stared at. To any bystander he would appear to be in a sort of trance, although not a soul would assume he sat unaware. Perhaps he wondered when the rain would let up, or maybe he ran through a list of paperwork that needed doing. Surely, though, whatever thoughts danced around his head, they must hold some great import to the Soul Society.
No one passing by would think his thoughts lingered on a day long past, or on a single person. No one would think Byakuya Kuchiki, a stone cold captain of the thirteen court guard squads, could possibly feel such… heartbreak.
Even as the years passed he still felt the clear, sharp pain in his heart that he had come to know as heartbreak or maybe it was only heartache? Impossible to tell; it all hurt the same.
No one thought him capable of such a flood of emotion, but what he or she didn't realize was that he did feel all the range of emotions that everyone else felt. He felt pain and sadness and joy and pride…
He had felt love.
But of course only she had really taken the time to know and understand him on this level.
It's not that he's the most emotionally open person in the world, make no mistake, but all of the feelings were still there, hidden under years of training. His mind drifted away from the present time again, wandering back to the days of his youth. Before the training had set in such stone, before he attained the rank of captain, and before she had left him.
He sat, on days like this, with little work to do, and thought not of the end, but of the days before. Inevitably though, any and all thoughts led back to the last day, the last moment.
Now, though, he thought of the earlier days when he had first met her. His thoughts had only just turned down this path, and so maybe, with some luck, an interruption would come before he reached the end again.
He remembered meeting her for the first time. Of course he did; the moment was one of those crystal clear memories that not only wouldn't fade, but also refused to.
She had stumbled upon the grounds of his clan, looking like a dirty, sodden, abandoned cat. Weak from hunger, with the cold weather slicing to her bones, she had come like a fallen angel. She had come in desperation, even knowing that in doing so she risked her life to the law. To this day he believed it wasn't a lack of caring so much as an overwhelming sense of last hope.
He often pondered the ease of which all of the events in his life could have so easily been altered. Had he not found Hisana, but rather his overly noble and self-righteous grandfather had instead, then what would have happened to her? Would they have chased her off with a warning, or would genuine concern and charity have won out? He doubted anyone in his family truly had a sense of the suffering of the Rukongai, in those poorer districts where children starved.
Against his better judgment, though, he had seen it with his own two eyes, and witnessed first hand how children stole and cheated their way to a single meal. Those who doted on him actually grew worried that he may have caught an illness, as he refused to eat for days after first seeing the suffering. He couldn't stand to look at the over-abundance of food without his stomach churning.
He wished, during those harsh days when he learned of world suffering, that he could feed all of those poor children and save their lives. Of course he couldn't though. It would have been impossible for him to sneak out enough food, and even if he could gather enough food and manage to carry it, when would he find the time to sneak out? His servants watched him carefully, and wouldn't be convinced of his good health until he regularly ate meals for several days. How many children would die in the time it took him to find an opening to sneak out?
So he gave up on the idea and learned a cruel lesson of the world: life was not fair, and that fairness could not always be won.
Then he received a small blessing. On top of all of his gifts, aside from the silver spoon in his mouth, and despite it all he, Byakuya Kuchiki, found an angel and with that angel, the happiest days of his life.
Walking along the outskirts of one of the outer buildings he saw her trembling form collapse on the edge of the woods that separated his grounds from the outside world. He cast a curious glance around, looking for anyone who might be watching, before trekking over to the fallen woman. At first he only stood over her, looking down at her disinterestedly.
Where had she come from?
Suddenly, much to his surprise, her hand darted out and grabbed onto his kimono. His eyes widened, wondering for the briefest moment if this had all been some clever ruse by an assassin to eliminate the future head of the clan. Well he wouldn't go down without a fight! He stumbled backwards, jerking the cloth out of her weak grip, but landing disgracefully on his backside.
A small laugh drifted to his ears as he winced upon contact with the wet ground. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."
Byakuya blinked once curiously, before peering back at the girl. "Who are you?" he asked guardedly.
"I'm no one," she answered, struggling to sit up. "I'm sorry I must have fallen here." She looked back at the large mansion in the distance, eyes growing wide.
Those eyes.
A beautiful shade of lavender, a royal color cast in a commoner's pale face, lit like jewels in the half-light of a cloudy day.
"It's quite fine," he answered formally, shaking himself from the thoughts. "Where do you live?"
"I don't," she replied sadly, struggling to sit up. "I'm sorry, I'll leave as soon as I can manage." Her eyes drifted back to the large house. She knew she wouldn't be welcomed here, or so she thought.
Maybe on any other rainy day it would have turned out different, but not today.
"Come with me," Byakuya commanded, standing up and discreetly brushing off debris from his fall. He offered his hand to her. His clean, royal hand to her dirty, commoner hand.
She could only stare in surprise at him for a moment before stuttering out, "I-I could never!"
"I'll take none of that," he stated plainly. "Now come along and be thankful for my assistance."
She could hardly protest in her state, so she did the unthinkable: she took his hand.
As he hoisted her up he asked, "What is your name?"
"Hisana," she answered shyly.
"I am Byakuya Kuchiki," he said in turn. "And so long as you remain here, you will be under my care."
"I could never impose like that," she insisted.
"Nonsense," he rebuked. "What good will it be if I send you on your way only for you to die?"
"I'm sorry, but I don't see how that would be your problem," she said, curious of his intentions.
"Even nobles," he answered, "can feel."
She could only look at him in surprise as he turned and led her towards one of the outlying rooms on the grounds. He allowed her to enter after checking to make sure no one had taken up residency in the typically unused room. After watching her eyes widen and take in the, in his opinion, rather small and homely room, he left to find a servant and request a meal and bedding, as well as some fresh clothes, for her.
Of course, he couldn't say that it was all for her. Who knows what gossip might start should anyone discover he was housing her. Not to mention what his grandfather would do.
He returned to the room after sending out the order and waited patiently, carefully observing the young woman, who in turn looked nervous under his glare.
"I'm sorry, am I doing something wrong?" she asked, a bit frightened. Byakuya felt his eyes widen in surprise. Wrong? Why would she think she was doing something wrong?
"No, why?"
"Well you're sitting there glaring at me as if I murdered your best friend," she said with a small, nervous laugh.
Oh, so that's what it was. "My apologies," he said stiffly.
She smiled at him. Oh that smile. So soft and gentle, loving, caring… the rainy day seemed less bleak when she smiled.
"It's fine," she answered, smiling again. "I should be the one apologizing for intruding like this."
"As I said before, there is no need to worry."
"But I'll never be able to repay you for your kindness," she countered.
A beat of silence passed before he answered, "Your presence is more than enough to repay my so-called kindness." She blushed lightly, not accustomed to such words of elegance or endearment.
"Besides," he continued, "material goods matter little to me these days."
His head turned at the sound of approaching footsteps. He went to the door and opened it, receiving the offered goods without ever letting the servant catch sight of his secret companion. Closing the door once more, he turned to Hisana to reveal a healthy sized meal as well as some rather comfortable looking—not to mention dry—clothes.
She jumped up from her seat and quickly offered her assistance, relieving Byakuya of his balancing act. Sticking her nose in the fresh clothes she inhaled and sighed in a rare sound of genuine happiness.
"May I change right now?" she asked, smiling up at him all the while. He felt an unfamiliar heat tingle on his neck.
"Of course," he answered.
Much to his surprise, she started to strip her wet clothing off right there in front of him.
"What are you doing?" he demanded in shock. She looked up at him, just as confused as he.
"Changing," she answered. "You said I could."
Byakuya debated for a moment whether to explain why she shouldn't change in front of him or whether to simply set the food down and retreat for now.
Deciding on the later he said, "Never mind, here is the food. I will leave it here for you to eat after you are finished changing." He turned make his exit, but she grabbed his sleeve to stop him. Turning slowly, he gave her a puzzled look.
"Thank you," she whispered, head bowed. "Thank you so much."
"Think nothing of it," he answered, turning once more to leave as her hand slipped from his sleeve. He exited the room and stood just outside for a long moment, a chill tingling his spine.
Someday that chill would only be a battle instinct, but tonight it meant the birth of a new feeling. An emotion like he had never felt before. Whatever may come tomorrow or the day after, or even five years from now or twenty, he knew no day would match this one. He knew that no feeling, not even the most extreme hatred, could come close to the passion slowly brewing within him.
Byakuya, appearing indifferent towards everyone in the house, as always, could not deny her beauty or the effect it had on him. Although he knew he could act normal for some time, someone would pick up on his change in demeanor soon enough. He couldn't hide her forever, but he couldn't quite say he wanted her to leave either.
An oddly protective feeling, mixed with a certain captivation, started to haunt him. He lost focus at his lessons and meetings, he found himself wondering how she was doing, and sneaking in every moment he could to visit her.
Maybe the feeling came as early as that very next day after he found her. After he had attended to all of the daily business, he returned to the room with another meal and more fresh clothes for her. He sat in the corner, watching as she delicately ate her meal. She looked much better today, in all senses of the word. Her eyes held a more vital glow, hair shone brighter, and her complex glowed in the light of a new day.
Another chill tickled its way down his spine, like the lightest brush of a feather.
"Thanks for the meal again," she whispered, finishing the last bite and breaking his trance.
"Think nothing of it," he answered. Normally he wouldn't ask, because it would be considered rude by anyone's standards, but he felt compelled to know more about the young woman he had taken under his roof. "Where are you from?"
She blinked at him, surprised by the abruptness of the question, before answering, "West Rukon, District 78."
He couldn't even disguise his own astonishment. "You come from somewhere as harsh as that? You have traveled a great distance to end up here then."
"Yes," she agreed, smiling sadly. "There were times I didn't think I would make it, but I had a feeling that if I kept pushing onwards I could find a better, safer place."
He gazed, utterly captivated, into her expressive eyes. To have come so far, all for the small chance of finding something better, of leading a better life. "It must have been quite the journey."
She nodded in agreement once again. "There were times I didn't think I would make it."
"But you did," he answered, reveling in her awesome accomplishment.
"I wouldn't say that," she replied, head bowed. "I still haven't found a better way."
"You do not like it here?" Byakuya asked, slightly surprised and almost upset. Had he not been a good host?
"It's not that," she reassured quickly. "It's just that I can't live off of your generosity for the rest of my life."
"Why not?" he asked, a genuine, heartfelt question.
The inquiry actually left her stumped for a moment, confused. "Well, it's just that you have other duties. You can't be taking care of me all the time."
"I take on no more work than I can handle," he answered, sincerity coloring his tone. "And if I do then I handle it anyways!"
This was the first time he showed an honest dedication to something that involved no prior obligation, and she would not forget it for the remainder of her life.
After the conversation that day, everything started to change. For a while he took care of her in secret, but as the days progressed she learned how to read him. So of course it didn't take long for her to realize something was wrong.
At first it didn't seem serious. He looked a little more tired than usual, or maybe he just hadn't been eating as well. Work never waited though, so maybe there was just an influx of chores he had to take care of. Then of course he always made time for her, always personally brought her meals, always stayed late into the night, holding conversations that had no limitations and boundless possibilities.
She didn't realize why his generosity spanned over such a long period of time until one day nearly two months after she first arrived. He came in with her meal as usual, but instead of offering it to her right away asked, instead, if she'd rather eat outside. As a rule, she didn't venture outside until late evening as everyone settled in for the night. Not one to question his motives anymore, she exited the stuffy room and inhaled the crisp spring air.
The bitter edge of winter had totally faded, leaving behind the promise of a fresh start.
She sat down on the edge of the walkway and gratefully ate her regular meal. She had explained to him once that a constant source of food should never be taken for granted. Actually, she had told him many things and taught him many lessons, particularly pertaining to the life of those born with less than everything. He sometimes felt embarrassed and ashamed by his wealth. Normally he didn't care much either way, but with her he always had the urge to share his overabundance.
As she finished she thanked him again, and couldn't help but ask, "So why was I able to come outside and enjoy this lovely spring weather?"
Byakuya shrugged, uncharacteristically silent around her. "You're not a caged animal; you should be able to come out when you so choose."
"Yes, but I am your secret guest," she countered with her beautiful smile that made his heart beat faster. "And if someone finds me, you'll be the one punished."
"That is true unless…" he trailed off, an uncharacteristic nervousness overcoming him. He stood up and for a moment she thought he was going to walk off without finishing. He was unusually distracted today.
"Byakuya, is something wrong?" she asked with genuine concern. Had he gotten into trouble? Had someone found out about her and punished him?
"No, nothing," he muttered. It was so unlike him to speak unclearly or indirectly at all. He turned to her and offered his hand. She took it without hesitation, but with more than a little curiosity.
For a moment they both stood there, staring into each other's eyes, hands clasped. Then, much to Hisana's surprise, Byakuya dropped to one knee, and gave her hands a gentle squeeze to assure her all was well.
"Hisana, I won't have you trapped here, and I won't slink around deceiving my family," he announced, never once breaking eye contact. "I am not ashamed of you and I won't hide you from the world. I am no fool; do you remember what I once told you many moons ago about nobles and feelings?"
She thought about it for a moment, focused on the question rather than what it was leading to, lest nerves overcome her. "You said even nobles feel," she whispered.
"Yes and I know now what I feel towards you," he answered calmly, his nervousness dissolving slowly but surely. He was sure about this, more sure than he had ever been about anything in his life. "I love you, Hisana, and I want you to marry me so you may join the Kuchiki clan."
Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes grew wide, a blush creeping over her cheeks. "Oh Byakuya, yes, of course I will!"
He swiftly stood up and scooped her into his arms, holding her tightly with no thought of letting her go. At that moment nothing mattered except for the moment itself. The fact that he was a noble and she a peasant meant nothing. The fact that no one in his family would ever approve meant nothing. At that moment neither Byakuya nor Hisana had a worry in the world, because they had everything they needed in their arms.
After that day, everything changed again and at first it was for the better.
Byakuya made it apparent that he would not allow her to stay in what he viewed as a trashy room any longer. She moved into a room nearer to his until the wedding ceremony came to pass, but where she stayed hardly mattered. Now that she was an official guest—no, more than a guest—now that she was Byakuya's fiancée, her presence was not only announced, but also honored among the rest of the household.
Even though they looked on disapprovingly, the Kuchiki family made every effort to behave as expected. That's not to say they acted overly joyous to see her around the grounds, but they were civil at least and at that point the otherwise happy couple couldn't ask for more.
Byakuya, of course, did not expect the family to accept her right away. He felt it was his duty to teach her the ways of the nobles, so that she may better adjust to this new lifestyle. Hisana took the lessons seriously, as expected, but she also had her fun as well. One particularly humorous lesson had started as nothing more than a debriefing on proper eating utensils.
"And this one should be used for soup only," he explained, continuing down the list, his face cast in utter seriousness.
Hisana giggled. He looked up from the silverware and glared at her. "Sorry, go on," she managed through choked off spurts of laughter.
"Ahem, very well then." He cleared his throat and continued, "This one is for—what is so funny?"
She had started giggling again almost right away. "I'm sorry, it's just that—," she stifled another giggle.
Byakuya finally dropped the noble countenance and slumped a bit, "Okay, what is it?"
"Does it matter?" she asked, nearly snickering.
"Does what matter?" he asked confusedly.
"What utensil you use to eat your food with," she explained, finding this to be the most hilarious thing in the world. "It'll taste the same and it all goes in the same place, so why bother?"
Byakuya's first knee-jerk reaction was to scold her for not taking the lesson more seriously, but then he started to think about it more. She had a point. Was there really any reason to the different uses? He remembered being told something about it a long time ago, but he couldn't recall what it was for the life of him now.
"I… suppose it doesn't really," he answered slowly. Hisana laughed again, and he looked up, their eyes meeting. "What's so funny now?"
"You seem so put out by realizing that," she explained, still giggling madly.
He couldn't help it; he broke into a grin and said, "Yes, you've destroyed my childhood fantasies of forks and spoons, now take this!"
He lunged towards her and started tickling her until she was flat on her back and could hardly breathe. Finally relenting he loomed over her, smiling the gentle smile he had developed in her presence. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her soft lips, both still smiling gently.
Suddenly the door was flung open, causing them both to jump in surprise.
"Lord Kuchiki, sir," the messenger intoned, kneeling before him. With a regretful sigh, Byakuya stood up and it seemed as if he flipped a switch. No more smiling, carefree Byakuya, only Head of the Clan Byakuya remained. He never noticed Hisana's hurt look as he exited the building with the messenger.
"Let's take this else where."
So the days came and went like this leading up to the wedding and the official induction of Hisana as a Kuchiki.
The wedding had the usual trappings and flourishes, but the bride and groom could not have noticed them any more than the disapproving eyes of the clan. They had resolved themselves and now they only had eyes for each other. The wedding passed in a blur, but the event prior did not, unfortunately.
Byakuya spent a restless night worrying over the induction. He knew that everything had been pre-arranged, and there was really nothing to worry about. All the fights, arguments, and legalities were handled months before. The Kuchiki clan was not known for lack of promptness and preparedness. They also weren't known for outbursts, so in all reality Byakuya had nothing to worry about now.
So he thought, anyways, but instinct once again proved to be the stronger ally.
The ceremony to make everything official started out normally enough; under the ever-watchful eyes of the clan Hisana nervously passed the tests they gave her. Soon only the questioning phase was left, and this was a phase Byakuya dreaded. An open period where any clan member could ask any question, no matter how outrageous, but again, it should not have been something to worry over.
The Kuchiki were far too proper for low blows.
The questions slowed to a trickle, and although some had leaned towards the cruel side, Hisana had survived without her smile faltering once. Just as the inductor was about to start the closing ceremony, another hand shot up, begging attention. Byakuya closed his eyes, trying to prepare himself for anything.
"Yes?" Hisana asked, giving her attention to the elderly man.
"Since you were raised on the filthy streets, and your knowledge is minimal at best, how do you expect to handle being the wife of the head of the clan?" he demanded bitterly, steely eyes piercing.
"I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking," she responded, her smile nearly slipping.
"You are a street beggar and you can hardly take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of affairs here?" he rephrased. "Or better yet, how do you expect to take care of the head of the clan when you could not even feed yourself before meeting him?"
The questions were, of course, outrageous. Although she would take part in many of the activities that came with the territory of holding such a high position, the Kuchiki clan's survival hardly depended on her.
Byakuya, watching as Hisana's smile slipped away and doubt took its place, could hardly contain his anger. He wanted so badly to go to her and comfort her right then and there, but that would not do. Not in front of a crowd that would smell such weakness and thrive off of it. He squeezed his eyes shut, trusting in Hisana's strength. What else could he do?
"I will do my best," she answered simply. Although this didn't satisfy the one who had asked, she was not under obligation to give a more in-depth answer, thankfully.
The ceremony continued as if nothing had happened.
At the end, after the rest of the family had proceeded to the other room in preparation for the wedding, Byakuya quickly made his way to his soon-to-be-wife. "I am so sorry for his rudeness," he breathed, holding her tightly.
At first she made no response, hurt still lingering in her eyes. "Byakuya it shouldn't have made a difference," she answered sadly.
"What do you mean?"
"The question was stupid, I should have been able to answer it easily, but…" she trailed off, a deep pain in her eyes. "It's because of my sister."
This caught Byakuya off-guard. "Sister?" Up until now he had never heard anything about any of her relatives. He assumed she simply had none.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she whispered. "I don't even know if she's alive, so I didn't think it would be worth mentioning."
"You should know better than to assume your word's worth," he gently chided.
She smiled a bit, but it was a sad smile. "Yes, of course."
He held on to her a moment longer before deciding that the sister topic would have to wait until later; they had a wedding to attend to.
The wedding, of course, put them both in a significantly better mood, and Byakuya promised that, "Even if hallows were about to swallow up the Spirit King," he would not leave her side tonight.
They escaped from the masses as soon as they could, all of the servants already ordered off-duty, and everything taken care of for the remainder of the night. Having returned to their room, though, Byakuya found the topic of her sister drifting back into his mind. It would have to be addressed before anything else. Tentatively he brought the subject up, saying, "So what happened to your sister?"
Hisana looked at him, his usual indifference replaced by a certain warmth she knew was only for her. "I don't know, honestly." She paused and her eyes drifted to a puddle of moonlight, filtering in through the open windows. The night was warm, but a slow and steady draft kept the room at a reasonable temperature.
"You must know something of her, for that look to be in your eyes," he replied knowingly. She could read his mood easily, but controversially he saw in her eyes things others would normally overlook.
"I had to abandon her shortly after we arrived here," she explained, whispering softly. "I tried, I really did try, to take care of her, but it was too much in such a poor district."
A sincere look of sympathy entered Byakuya's eyes as he listened carefully. "If you tried your best, then it could not be helped. Life is not fair and sometimes we lack the power to change that."
She nodded, tears forming in the corners of her beautiful eyes. "I make excuses like that everyday, but it doesn't take away the guilt I feel."
He held her closer, protecting her small body from the unforgiving world, if only for the moment. "Are you certain of her fate?"
"No," she answered, cuddling closer to him. "I may never know, although I hope some day I can search for an answer. Even if it's not an answer I want to hear, any answer at all is better than living with the doubt everyday."
"You would trade your doubt for guilt?"
"In an instant," she answered determinedly. "Mourning I can accept and move pass, but uncertainty will haunt me forever."
He nodded in understanding, or at least a kind of sympathetic agreement. "You may look for her if you so wish, and if you truly believe you can find the answer you seek."
She looked back up at her husband, with a kind of gratefulness that went beyond simple appreciation. "Thank you, Byakuya," she whispered.
"Just be sure to inform me should you discover anything," he responded in an almost pleading tone.
"Yes," she murmured, leaning her head against his chest. "Of course."
The next day she started her search, and it was back to business as usual for Byakuya. Whenever he had free time though, she would take a break from her searching and they would spend time together.
Days turned into months and one week in particular, where they saw less of each other than normal, Byakuya decided to take Hisana out for a walk, and a picnic in order to catch up and escape the bustle of life. She quickly agreed of course, and with that they picked up their lunch basket and headed out. The warm nights had turned cool once again, and the chill had returned to the days.
They settled in and started casually eating (with no fancy utensils, as insisted upon by Hisana), making small talking and catching each other up on the daily affairs of the other. Time hadn't always allowed for them to spend as much time together as they would have liked, but that never put a falter in their relationship, not even for a moment.
Eventually Byakuya had to broach the subject of Hisana's sister once more. "So has your searched turned up any results yet?"
She sighed softly, her happy smile tinged with a brief sadness. "Not yet, but I can only be making progress the more I search."
He nodded approvingly, proud to have such a steadfast wife. That was one of the things he truly loved about her: not only her ability to persist, but to persist with an unwavering smile. In every cloud she could only see the silver lining. He smiled at her, distracted by this thought, and not noticing right away the grin on her face.
"What?" he demanded playfully, still smirking a bit.
"You're sitting there staring at me, and I thought you might be lost in a trance," she teased.
"You ought to know better," he chided jokingly. "I am Byakuya Kuchiki, head of the Kuchiki clan, some day captain in the Gotei Thirteen!"
She laughed out loud at this and replied, "Since when have your fancy titles ever impressed me?"
He clutched at his heart dramatically. "Ouch. That cuts deeper than my Zanpakuto!"
"Well I never thought I'd see the day," she exclaimed flopping down on her back. "Byakuya Kuchiki laughing and enjoying himself!"
Said typically stoic soul reaper reclined next to her and laughed heartily. "I enjoy myself more than you might think."
She turned on her side to get a better look at him. "Is that so?"
Propped up on one elbow he smiled again and answered, "Of course."
She reached a hand out and rested it on his chest, smiling gently. "Byakuya."
Trapping a stray strand of her hair he answered, "Hmm?"
"Do you want children?"
The normally never caught off guard, always serious, future captain nearly fell over backwards. Not an easy task considering he was already reclined "What?"
"Do you want children?" she asked again, totally serious, but with her famous smile gracing her lips.
He hadn't thought much of it before now. Whether or not he wanted children, that was. Of course he would need to have children at some point; he needed an heir, but did he actually want children now? Was he ready for that?
"I'm not sure," he admitted. Byakuya watched his wife's expression carefully. She didn't seem particularly disappointed or happy with his answer.
"That's okay," she said, smiling. "No need to rush it."
He considered her for a moment before asking, "Do you want children?"
Rolling away from him, back onto her back, she smiled even more. "Yes. Some day."
They lay together and enjoyed each other's presence for a while longer, each lost in their own thoughts. It was impossible to know what she could be thinking of, smiling like that, looking so serene, but Byakuya's mind was filled with possibilities. He knew, almost from the first moment he laid eyes on her that she was his future, and over the days that feeling had only reaffirmed itself. He never doubted for a moment that they would some day have children together, but it wasn't an issue at the forefront of his mind.
He played with her hair absentmindedly, wondering when a good time would be. Perhaps after he gained the rank of captain within the Gotei Thirteen, which should be very soon. A couple of years were nothing.
The booming sound of distant thunder interrupted his thoughts. He didn't take it as an omen, merely inevitable weather for this time of year.
"Let's pack up and head back," he recommended to Hisana, who readily agreed, helping him pack up the supplies. Besides the incoming storm, it was starting to get cold out.
They returned to the main grounds without a single worry to cloud their minds.
The Soul Society, much like the world of the living, tended to slow down during the colder months. Of course there were still hallows, regardless of the seasons, and Byakuya kept himself busy with them, rising through the ranks, not to mention growing in power. He hardly had time to stop at home for the day-to-day care of the clan, let alone to spend time with his wife.
More and more he found himself spending late nights inside the Seireitei, working on paperwork, and some days he didn't even make it home. His absences worried Hisana, of course, but she knew he was a smart man. Some soul reapers leaned towards recklessness in their habits, but he wasn't one of them. Besides, searching for her sister helped to keep her distracted until he could find his way home.
A year passed and then another before the blink of an eye; years moved swiftly, but time passed slowly for the people of the Soul Society.
Byakuya had been away from the main house for several weeks at this point, this was the longest he had ever been away. When he returned his life would change again, and he would find himself attached the main house like never before, as the sun set on a beautiful flower, once thought to bloom eternally.
It started with his return. Many servants had come out to greet him out of obligation, but what concerned him was the absence of one person in particular.
"Where's Hisana?" he demanded. Several of the servants glanced at each other nervously.
"She's resting, sir," one answered at last.
His heartbeat quickened. Had she fallen ill while he was gone? A feeling deep inside of him told him the truth he vehemently denied. "Take me to her," he commanded.
Arriving at the room, he quickly dismissed the servant and entered. "Hisana?" he asked worriedly.
There, resting in bed, his beloved wife lay, staring distractedly off to the side. "Oh, Byakuya," she greeted him.
"What's wrong?" he demanded, quickly kneeling at her side.
"It's just a small cold. Don't be so worried," she scolded playfully.
"Please, this is no time to joke," he reproved with a frown. "If you are truly sick, tell me. I can help you."
She smiled gently at him. That beautiful, loving smile. "I'm fine, truly. Please don't let me worry you."
He nodded to assure her, but deep down he felt a painful knot in his stomach.
What could he do though? He had doctors fetched to check on her, but they all agreed that it was a mere cold. She would be over it in a few days. Even with this reassurance though, he stayed close to home, leaving only when absolutely necessary.
A week passed in this fashion, with Byakuya quickly finishing outside work and constantly checking up on Hisana. The first couple of days she started to heal, but then, without any warning, her health took a turn for the worse. The doctors were suddenly baffled and couldn't give Byakuya any answers. The unfaltering soul reaper stopped attending to work outside of his home, insisting work be sent to him or handled by someone else. Partially because of his good standing and partially because of his stature, these terms were agreed to, and he was granted time to spend with his ailing wife.
The days passed too quickly now, time seemed to spiral out of control and Byakuya felt utterly useless, not to mention powerless, to stop any of it.
He spent as much time as he could with her, sometimes working in her room when he could manage, and holding whispered, worried conversations nightly.
He held her hand now, a seemingly permanent frown on his lips. "Hisana," he whispered, brushing her hair back from her face.
"Byakuya," she murmured, half asleep. "Find her… I have to… find her…"
His frown deepened, wondering what she was dreaming about. Finding her sister? How could she think of such a thing in her current state? She had her own health to worry about. Her sister was probably dead anyways, he thought bitterly. Nonetheless he considered sending men out to seek out this elusive sister. Maybe if she could be found, then his wife's condition could be reversed. He was no fool; magic tricks did not impress him, but even he knew that worries could make someone ill.
This had to be his fault. If he hadn't been away so much, then she wouldn't have fretted so much over her long-lost sister. Hisana used this ghost to distract her for so long that it grew into an obsession, and why? Because he was never around as a good husband should be.
Late into the night, he left in order to get some rest of his own. It would do no good to make himself sick now.
The next morning dawned pale and cloudy, a bitter chill still cutting through the early spring air. He made his way to Hisana, as usual. He arrived and opened the doors to her room wide in an attempt to let in some light and fresh air, carefully making sure she was warm enough first. Sitting down next to her, Byakuya took her hand in his and held it tightly.
"Hisana," he whispered. She looked up at him through tired eyes, still beautiful if not a little dull.
"Byakuya, you've come back to visit me again. It seems like you never work these days," she teased gently.
"Save your strength," he implored her.
Ignoring him, she continued, "Do you remember when we spoke of having children?"
He nodded, resisting the urge to fret over her. She was a strong woman, if she felt up to talking it had to be a good sign, right? "Yes, of course."
"What made you hesitate that day?" she asked, sincerity in her eyes.
"I was just caught off guard," he answered, a soft, loving gaze locked with her own. "I wanted to wait."
"Do you still not want children?"
He shook his head in the negative. "I would like children someday soon. I resolved that day to have them after I was instated as a captain in the Gotei Thirteen."
"Ah, so that was the look in your eyes," she remarked with realization.
"What look?"
She smirked a bit at him. "You have a certain look in your eyes when you make a promise you truly swear to keep," she explained.
"I never noticed," he answered with a strained smile.
"I noticed ages ago," she told him, looking so peaceful it made his heart ache. "Will you make a promise to me now?"
"Anything," he answered, keeping the false smile in place.
"I could never find my sister," she began, her expression turning serious. "I want you to find her and take her in, but please, never tell her that I'm her sister."
"I can try to find her, but why don't you want me to tell her about you?" he asked, a nervous knot twisting in his stomach.
"She deserves a good brother, like you," Hisana explained. "I abandoned her long ago; I don't deserve her affections."
Byakuya grew uneasy, the smile he had kept in place started to falter. "Look," he said, distracting himself and turning from the serious topic, "the tree should be blossoming soon; it will be beautiful."
"I know it will be, Byakuya, and I know you'll do as I ask," she answered. "I know you'll protect her with all your might."
"Hisana," he answered anxiously. He felt his palms sweating, his heart thudding painfully fast in his chest.
"Do you remember what I said about mourning and uncertainty?" she asked, changing the topic.
"Yes, of course," he responded, recalling the time that seemed like a lifetime ago.
"Don't ever doubt that I loved you very much," she whispered.
"Hisana, please, no," he choked out. "Please, don't."
"You're such a brave man," she whispered. "And you're very strong. I know you can live through mourning, so please don't add doubt to your burden."
"Hisana…" Byakuya felt a stinging sensation in his eyes as drops of liquid fell upon their clasped hands. "Hisana!"
She smiled up at him again, that beautiful, unforgettable smile, with her eyes shining brightly, those vibrant, haunting eyes. "I love you, Byakuya." He would never forget the feeling at that exact moment that her life fled her and she sighed her last breath. It felt like a cold blade running through his still beating heart. Behind him a flower bloomed, as another inside of him died.
As he sat there, beside his lifeless love, each beat of his heart drummed out the steady truth of life and death: it was never fair, and that fairness could not be fought for, let alone won.
A knock at the door brought Byakuya Kuchiki back the present. The rain tapped out a disjointed rhythm on the roof, and he found himself in his office, dressed impeccably in his captain's uniform as always.
"Enter," he commanded, voice calm and cool.
His redheaded lieutenant entered and bowed. "Sir, we have an order." Byakuya listened carefully to the message delivered by the eerie black butterfly.
He turned his attention back to the young man soaked from the pounding rain. "We are to bring her back?"
"Yes, sir," Renji answered, formal and careful, waiting for further instructions.
For a moment the captain of the sixth squad made no move. For the briefest space of time he found himself in a whirlwind of memories and promises; lessons of honor and vows clashed within him, creating a hurricane out of the light rain inside his heart.
"Very well."