Author's Note:
God damn, this must be the saddest thing I've ever written. My roommate was like "dude why are you crying" and I was like "magical lesbians"
Anyway, please enjoy the SayaHomu!
The sun was setting on Mitakahara City. An orange pallor reflected on the high tech, glass skyscrapers, their dark shadows extending out behind them for miles. As darkness fell, these tall buildings' windows became speckled with lights, as if the humans within were an outbreak of chicken pox. Soon enough, the streetlamps were illuminated as well, casting their fluorescent light on the people walking home in the twilight. Only one place remained in the city that was not illuminated by some sort of light: the cemetery. The field of tombstones remained dark and silent, leaving the dead to their rest. However, if you were to make your way to the upper right corner of the cemetery, where those newly deceased were buried, you would find a freshly dug grave, lit by a single candle. Looking closely, you could barely make out the name of the person resting below by the flickering candlelight.
"Madoka Kaname"
A few miles away from the cemetery stood a bridge which allowed passage over the large river splitting the city in half. It offered a stark contrast from the final resting place of the dead; the bridge was harshly illuminated by dozens of lights, and whatever silence the city had to offer was constantly broken by the wooshing of cars and trucks driving past. There was a section underneath the bridge where you could walk, not visible to the vehicles above, and perhaps enjoy the view over the wide body of water. This section had been sealed off many years ago, and was impossible to access unless you had magical powers of some sort. It was here that a dark haired girl sat, her legs dangling off the edge of the bridge, contemplating her life, or rather what was left of it.
Homura Akemi had given up.
Two thousand six hundred and forty seven. That was the number of times that she had traveled back in time only to fail to save Madoka from her fate. She just could not handle the constant heartbreak and agony anymore. Not only was she a failure, but she was a menace to humanity, as with every time loop Madoka's powers would grow, meaning that her destructive power as a witch would grow as well. She had learned this many decades ago, yet she continued with her selfish decision, hoping that maybe one more loop was all it would take to save Madoka.
Two thousand six hundred and forty seven. That was the number of loops it took before Homura's soul broke. She couldn't watch Madoka die anymore. She couldn't continue to risk the world for her own selfish love. So she killed the innocent, pink haired girl by her own hand. One bullet was all it took for her to fall to the ground, lifeless. This time she would stay dead. And now Homura was here to do the same to herself. Homura Akemi needed to disappear. There was no hope for her to find salvation.
Her shoes were neatly lined up on the ground next to her, since that's what she heard people did before they killed themselves. She had already rehearsed this scene in her head countless times. She would shoot her own Soul Gem, die, and tumble into the river, her body never to be found ever again. Not that anyone would come looking for her. She held her hand open in front of her, her Soul Gem resting in her palm, emitting a soft purple light. Pathetic, she thought to herself. How could such an evil soul continue to shine after all this time? I've damned myself to hell millions of times over with my actions. Her lower lip trembled, half in anger, half in fear. She hated herself. She despised herself. In her mind, there was nobody that deserved to die more than her.
Yet she didn't know if she could bring herself to commit suicide. She had been running away from death for over two centuries. She had kept herself alive longer than any magical girl in history. How could she kill herself now?
Tears started falling from her eyes at the thought of death. She wrenched her eyes shut and buried her face in her arms, her Soul Gem still held precariously over the abyss. She couldn't bring herself to cry. All that she could muster were quiet, pathetic whimpers and sobs. For how cold and aloof she had acted all these many, many years, Homura was terrified of dying. Her body shook and spasmed with her tears.
Suddenly, she felt a pair of arms come out of nowhere and wrap themselves around her, pulling her from the edge of the bridge and into a tight embrace. Before she had time to struggle, her assailant buried their face in her neck. "Please… please… please don't go…" the person whispered, their voice cracking as if they were on the verge of tears as well.
The dark haired girl froze. She recognized the person's voice. Making no attempt to escape their embrace, Homura's head drooped in defeat. "Why are you here, Miki? Have you come to finish me off yourself? Go ahead, I won't stop you," she spat out bitterly.
Sayaka shook her head quickly, her grip around Homura's body tightening. "N-no… I came here to stop you from dying. I don't want you to die…" the blue haired girl stuttered out, hiccupping once. She held Homura in a death grip, as if she would drop dead as well if Homura threw herself off the bridge.
"Why do you care…" the dark haired girl whispered, her words glistening with venom. "One less magical girl for you to compete with. You should be happy."
"Stop it, Homura!" Sayaka shrieked out, as if Homura's words were daggers stabbing her heart. "I don't care about magical girls or competition or whatever!" Calming down a little, Sayaka lowered her voice. "We're… we're the only ones left, you know," she whimpered out. "Madoka is dead. Kyouko is dead. Mami is dead. I… I don't want to be alone, Homura!" Homura felt the warm dampness of tears on her neck. Even so, she couldn't bring herself to feel any sympathy for the other girl.
"Tough," Homura said in a monotone. "I'm about to be dead too. You can't stop me. It's going to happen either way. Sorry." She gazed out over the river, her eyes almost as empty as Madoka's when the life left her body. In her mind she could clearly picture the pink haired girl's look of shock and fear, the final expression frozen on her face forever.
"But, but that's a lie, isn't it?" Sayaka cried, struggling with her words. "You don't want to die. You're afraid to die. I saw you! You were crying, because deep down you don't want to kill yourself! And… I don't want you to die either!" She fell silent, slightly shivering from the nighttime cold.
Her eyes were still empty, but her mind was in turmoil. Sayaka was right, Homura didn't want to die. And yet no matter how much Homura wanted to live, she couldn't see any other solution than death. She had failed Madoka. She had selfishly put the world in danger thousands of times. She had no idea what to do from now on. "Shut up. Even if you were right, I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have anyone to go to. Dying would be… much easier." Homura continued speaking in a monotone, struggling not to let emotion creep into her voice.
Sayaka fell silent for a moment. Finally, she pulled Homura closer to her own body. "That's not true. I know we haven't been the best of friends up until now, but… you have me. We have each other. I don't have anyone to go to either, you know. We could… live life side by side. We could live for each other. So then, there's no need to die."
This shocked Homura out of her bitter reflections. Does this idiot know what she's saying? she nervously thought to herself. "You're only saying that because you're scared to be alone. You need someone to hold your hand. If you found someone else to be by your side, you would probably throw me into the river yourself."
Once, again, Sayaka fell silent and tightened her grip on Homura. Holding onto someone so openly hostile to her was better than having no one to hold. "What about you?" she finally asked. "You're scared to be alone too. That's why you're doing this, isn't it? You'd rather die than live alone. I want to give you a reason to live, if you'd just stay by my side." Coughing and sniffling, she kept speaking. "Madoka… meant a lot to you, right? It must have hurt you a lot when she died all of a sudden like that, right?" Homura's body trembled in response, but not for the reason that Sayaka thought. "I'm right, aren't I? You loved her a lot. So… I'll be her replacement. I'll accept all the love you could never give her. I'll do anything, as long as you promise to never leave me alone." The broken girl continued to cling to the shattered girl, not even attempting to hide how desperate she was for affection.
A thousand loops ago, Homura would be outraged that someone thought they could replace Madoka in her heart. However, over the years, her love for Madoka disappeared, and instead existed merely as a concept, a goal for Homura to reach, because she didn't know what else to do with herself. Her thoughts continued to scream that she needed punishment and that there was no other way but for her to die, but her love-starved heart spoke instead. "And you would… never leave me alone as well?" she croaked out, just as desperate as the girl clinging to her.
Sayaka shook her head quickly, as if the very idea of leaving Homura was poison to her. "Never! Never ever. I swear on my life. I swear on Mami, Kyouko, and Madoka's graves. I swear on everything I have ever fought for, that I will never ever leave your side. I… I'm all yours." She spoke with a sincerity that proved the honesty of her words.
A thousand thoughts raced through the dark haired girl's head. Is this… really okay? Is it okay for me to keep living? Can I still be saved? Homura finally came to the belief that there was only one way to find out. Turning her head up to face Sayaka, she looked deep into her blue eyes. "Okay," she finally answered. "I'm all yours as well." She was unaccustomed to putting so much trust into one person, but she decided that it came with a certain level of comfort. She felt safe and protected being held by this girl.
Sayaka nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes, trying not to cry even harder in relief. "Okay," she responded in turn. On a whim, she leaned down kissed Homura softly on the lips, cradling her head in her arm. Her love-starved heart accepted the kiss, quieting any lingering thoughts of how evil people such as her deserved no such happiness, and she raised a hand and touched it to Sayaka's cheek as their embrace stretched on.
When their lips finally separated, they sat there quietly, lost in their own thoughts. Both of them were still in disbelief that they could have found such unlikely salvation in the other girl. After some time, Sayaka stood up and held out her hand to Homura. "Come on," she said, giving her a small smile. "Let's go." Homura returned the smile, and took her hand, pulling herself up to her feet and slipping on her previously discarded shoes.
"Yeah. Let's go."
The two walked away from the bridge hand in hand and towards whatever bright future awaited them. Whatever was to come, they would face it side by side.
Unbeknownst to Sayaka, a pink ribbon laid discarded on the bridge where Homura was planning to end her life. With a gust of wind, the ribbon fluttered out over the river and floated down to its final resting place, never to be found ever again.