STAR ON THE TREE
Neji had no idea who Tenten was anymore. She spent the majority of her hours awake skimming through pages of some sort of romance novel reincarnated from the fifteenth century that contained bodacious names like Don Quixote. And if she wasn't, she was organising some Christmas charity event or "renovating" or preparing fairy lights or collecting recipes for the upcoming Christmas feast and their New Year's little get-together.
When she was asleep she would always twitch herself all the way over on the far side of room, and the ache for some decent sex growled deep in the pit of Neji's stomach, longing to sleep in a proper bed rather than a sleeping bag on the floor.
Neji wondered if it was just a common phase all couples went through upon moving in together.
"Tenten," Neji murmured with his back pressed to the wall.
"Love you too, Neji-pie," Tenten replied absently; she was too busy applying the new wallpaper. Neji walked closer towards her and drew a line on the skin that covered the nape of her neck, under a few short locks of hair that fell loose from the two even buns she tied up every morning.
"Don't. I'm busy. Busy, busy, busy. Like a bee! You like bees don't you?" Tenten faced Neji for a moment, all teethy and happy. To be frank, the wallpaper looked awkward, with the continuous string of dango of every shape, colour and size raping the wall. But Neji never cared much for interior design, and maybe he was just jealous that even the something completely inanimate was actively recieving more attention from his girlfriend than he was.
Then, to rouse her attention, Neji kissed her on the neck, ever so softly. In return, she closed her eyes, smiled a little smile, and pecked his mouth with the beak of a bird. "Didn't you say you had something to do?," she chirped, cocking her head in thought, "Right! You're late for your conference."
"That was yesterday." Neji started to fiddle with the buttons on her cardigan, then the fly on her jeans.
"O-oh was it, now?" said Tenten. Tenten became quiet for a moment and Neji stopped fiddling. "That reminds me! I was supposed to meet Hinata at the city hall in ten minutes… got to go!"
She shoved on a simple brown coat, and was gone, just like that.
Neji headed for his first consolation: Lee. Neji strolled with a good few layers of cotton stuck to his body. He walked the short distance to the video shop, which was always air conditioned accordingly. It was within these walls Neji felt the most at ease, though he never verbally admitted it and never would.
"I see a brother of the guild of the Eternal Flame of Youth has arrived! What will it be today? I do recommend hiring 'Enter the Dragon'!"
Neji offered no response but a smile. "Not today, Lee."
Lee looked sober for a moment. "Neji-kun, is something the problem in regards to your relationship with the pretty lady?"
"Hmmmm," Neji hummed. Hei rubbed his cleanly shaved chin. "I guess you could say that."
"Ah, I but I cannot get off until six. My employer is keeping a watchful eye over me and I am quite bluntly, broke. My deepest apologies, my friend," Lee explained, and then cue the hour-long Youth Lecture.
Well, so much for plan B.
Next door to the video shop was the café in which Naruto and Sasuke worked, a handsome young couple that'd moved to this side of town only a few years ago. The café was an instant hit, with the unique style of the interior, the employees' Edwardian dress, their fresh and amusing personalities and etiquette.
Their tomato cakes had become famous and renowned as one of the best in the country. In fact, they had become so popular that Naruto and Sasuke created a mascot for their line of cakes who they aptly called Tomato-kun. Or, as Naruto liked to put it, "Sasuke's alter ego".
When Neji entered the shop, Sasuke was behind the counter baking a Danish bun as Naruto was played poker with Kiba. Neji gave the patient Akamaru a quick pat on the head before he walked into the shop. A sweet little bell tolled as he did, and all parties looked up at once from whatever they were doing.
"Coffee to go, please," Neji ordered.
"Coming right up!" Naruto dashed next to Sasuke with a grin on his face.
"Watch it, dobe."
"Shut it, you anal sulk."
With coffee in hand Neji calmly walked his way to the city hall. It was actually much less colder today then most had been lately, he noted. Or maybe he was just lonelier than usual...
And suddenly, he had a thought.
What if she was seeing someone else? It was unlikely, but Neji may have been in denial. Or perhaps, perhaps she was having an affair with… with… Hinata?
He shuffled to an abrupt stop when he arrived in front of the fine piece of architecture.
Neji's forehead was beaded with sweat, even in this sort of weather.
After a long day of stalking innocent women, Neji was relieved to find that his beloved girlfriend was indeed not having a lesbian affair with his timid cousin. Instead of consummating the love affair Neji had suspected, they played saints for a day, participating in some charity where they had handed out presents to the homeless and needy.
Neji would let this one go. He knew the heartbreak he himself held whenever he went to bed on Christmas Eve and awoke to no Christmas tree, and thus no gifts that lay below it. His household, though rich and large, never really paid much attention to the words "childhood" or "joy", so Neji hadn't really ever believed in a Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. Furthermore, little Neji never been allowed out for trick or treating; his childhood had been so pathetically lacking that even birthday parties had been out of the question.
But was it wrong to feel slightly jealous of the children gathered in that hall today? Each received a toy, chocolate milk, cookies, smiles and a big-breasted hug from a nice lady. And damnit, Neji wanted one, too.
For the rest of the day Neji sulked quietly at his desk, doing paperwork he would have to bring to work the following Monday—it was no surprise Neji also suffered from an overbearing boss who was his own uncle, among other things, like a dying relationship. Though Hiashi had high expectations from Neji, this caused him to overwork his stressed nephew, who frequently fell asleep at his desk due to the sheer amount of time he had to be awake at ungodly working hours.
At exactly 5:59PM, Tenten returned from city hall. She found her boyfriend slumped on his desk with a pen in hand and a breath that smelt of caffeine. Since they'd only moved in together for a few weeks, they had no bed to sleep in. Usually their bedding plan consisted of Neji sleeping on a thin mattress and Tenten on the sofa.
And though Tenten felt truly sorry for Neji's sex drive, there was no way she was going to get it on the couch. Or the floor. She had considered shower sex or doing it against the wall, but she decided against it as they didn't have a bathtub nor any safety glass, and the walls were so thin she was scared they'd just fall right through. She didn't have the time to go with him to some hotel either. She too busy, just too busy.
"Babe, baby wake up." Tenten tapped his cheek twice. Neji had always been a light sleeper. He moved his head a little, turning to face her, and opened his eyes, staring at her like an expectant toddler.
"Welcome home," Neji mumbled indistinctively.
"I want you to sleep on the couch tonight. You get to bed now; we both have a big day tomorrow," she whispered. "I'll set the alarm to six o'clock, and I'll make you some bacon and egg for breakfast."
"Yes ma'am."
Neji then had no intention of moving to the couch, so Tenten was left with no choice but to threaten him with chopsticks.
"So how was your day yesterday Neji?" Tenten smiled across the chequered table.
"It was alright."
"Say, this is the first proper breakfast we've had in weeks, huh?"
"Yes. It's quite good."
"Hey Neji?"
"Mmm?"
She got up, walked along the table and took him by the chin. He could feel a supple mould of breast pressing to his shoulder under a few layers of cotton and wool, an oasis of touch in one very long, very dry drought.
"I love you." She kissed him. "You love me back, don't you?"
"Hmmm…."
"Well, I love you, more than anything. I really do…" she cooed. Two more kisses on the mouth. "...But I have to go now, or I'll be late."
She gave him one last kiss before she took her coat and was gone, again.
Funny how every single time she closed the door on him, he felt like she was leaving him forever.
When was the last time…that I told her I loved her? Come to think of it…
"Mr. Hyuuga… Mr. Hyuuga…. Mister-" Hinata called without success. One last time, "Neji!"
"Ms. Hyuuga! I apologise for my insolence."
"Please don't be so formal with me! Hinata will do."
"Alright, Hinata, what is it that you require of me?"
"N-nothing really, you were just spacing out. I think you ought to take a leave. You know… P-p-patch things up with…"
"…Tenten? That's the least of your concerns… We're not even on non-speaking terms."
"Well… Since it's our lunchbreak, would you mind if we had a chat privately?"
"Sure."
Neji chugged down the rest of his coffee and followed his superior. Hinata started one of her long winded, terribly shaky speeches:
"Well, you know when you two started off; you were all she talked about! Now she s-sort of… avoids the subject…"
With resolve in his bones, Neji returned home. To his surprise, Tenten was seated atop an actual bed in their bedroom; she was wearing that quirky grin he loved so much. And the little red cheongsam he'd bought her to celebrate their one year old relationship. If she was wearing one of the dresses he'd given her, then they were definitely out for the night. But the problem was that her legs would probably snap during this cold, cold season.
"Hey there, mister."
"One question. How in the hell did you get the bed here?"
"Oh, Shino next door helped a bit. He's quite the muscle man."
"Shino."
"Nevermind that." She flitted off the bed. "C'mon. Help me push this against the wall and we'll go have some fun."
"What kind of fun?"
"Chinese dinner. Only the finest. Then slow dancing. Maybe some late night movie would be in hand. Heard Hiashi finally gave you a two week leave."
"Well who told you that?"
"Hinata of course. She's wonderful."
"Well, what? Are you going to wear that out?"
"No, of course not! It's just for show, you silly goose. Wait here and I'll put on something a little more decent."
Tenten lead Neji through bright lights, and he couldn't remember the last time he went on a proper date. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been here either. Chinatown was still ever the same; with the pungent smell of… everything all around, the noisy people, cheap grocery stalls and oriental style of its buildings.
She stopped at her favourite restaurant so abruptly Neji almost bumped her over.
"I'll have…"
Tenten was a big eater, drunked a lot, and liked to do both. So Neji made a mental not to drink or eat too much to make sure at least one of them could make it home without throwing up on their own shoes or managing not to get mugged.
But with that look of serenity on Tenten's face, Neji was somehow sure, if only for that single moment, that they would manage.
And they did. Both made it home perfectly coherent and intact, arms curled around each others' waists. They were laughing until Tenten had closed the door.
That was the part Neji where pinned her to it as she tried to reach her arm towards the radio. She was shushed with a kiss, long and wet.
The music was loud, scratchy and industrial. Out of all the adrenaline pumping through his veins the only thing Neji could make out in his mind was closer. It was the perfect kind of music to lap dance to, and though it certainly wasn't classy ballroom at its best, it would do.
Tenten ground her inner thigh against Neji's hip, pulling his by his necktie, forcing him to press closer. Neji complied with enthusiasm and traced a line up her leg. Before long they ended up entangled, with Neji's mouth curled up on that below her abdomen. Tenten let out a well placed, delicate moan, the hum of a throaty euphoria. She gasped for the breath to speak, licking her lips and wiping the sweat off her forehead. "Well, do you have a…?"
"No," he replied.
"Well, fu—how the hell are we supposed to go if you don't have a…"
"I thought you would've had one." He said it so simply that Tenten even developed the slightest offense towards the comment.
"How the heck is a girl supposed to go around buying condoms? And I didn't exactly plan it to turn out like this… for chrissake. Besides I wouldn't know which…"
"So you take me out to dinner and a dance, and expect nothing to come of it? And how would I know if you just decided one day that you were going to have sex with your boyfriend—like normal people do—and especially one who you haven't gotten it on with for almost a month? You think I go around having prostitutes every second day? Surely you think better of me."
"I'll let that one go. I'm not going to be so careless." He sat up and glared at her, wiping his face with the back of his hand. "What are you staring at? Get your ass off my bed."
Morning came with tension in the air.
"Good morning, Tenten."
Neji looked up from his newspaper, took off his glasses and attempted a smile.
"Hmph."
...And failed. Tenten turned around and left as soon as she finished toasting her toast, slamming the door behind her.
Neji realised he had absolutely nothing to do with his free time; it was six in the morning and he was already stumped like a log.
Hinata was a stupid person for giving him the holiday. If was going to feel guilty for what happened the previous night, and for the fact he'd never shown any appreciation for his girlfriend's love, Neji would've rather done it under the iron balls of Hiashi who made him feel at least that bit productive. Or useful, or wanted.
So Neji hatched a plan.
He grabbed his keys and drove to the nearest mall, seeing at least a good dozen of those bell-wielding charity Santa Clauses along the way.
Walking through the doors the first thing he heard was a band playing carols. The second thing he saw was the scene of some kids making out under a conspicuous mistletoe. Good for them.
Neji, being a sad excuse of a consumerist, then headed straight for the biggest sign. Due to the contemporary font of the logo, he couldn't make out the department name. Mumbling to himself, Neji made his way towards the Christmas section and stood his ground, awkwardly moving his head side to side trying to find some appropriate tinsel.
Then this barely covered pink-haired girl snuck her way right up next to him. She was scantily clad in one of those stuffy leather Santa Claus outfits, except modified for women – which meant it made a desperate attempt to round off a lady's bust and thighs, and then show off some skin.
"Hi, welcome to the Ninja Goods Warehouse, where the prices are so low, you'll need to fight your way through to the cash register! How can I help you today?"
"What the hell kind of punch line is that?"
"I'm sorry, but all customer complaints go to—"
"…look, lady. I don't have time for—" Neji didn't even bother, and simply turned on his heel, ignoring the annoyingly perky gimmicks.
"Hey, who are you calling lady? The name is SAKU— hey! Hey! Fuck you, mister!"
Out of all the shopping he'd done, there were four boxes of worth of junk in his trunk, after he met countless assholes and dense clerks; he made his second last stop at an empty shop full of expensive dresses.
"Move it buster. Don't want you lingering here like some sort of idiot. Pick what you want and go."
Neji turned to the voice to say I'll take all the fucking time in the world if I want to, but the girl at the counter had skilfully composed herself in the most attractive way possible, a low neckline with just the right volume of tightness, and a long slit on the lengthy, black dress she sheathed over her body, and Neji found it challenging to say something so harsh. She not much older than Neji, wore her hair with style and spunk (pineapples), and, stuck in a trance for a second, Neji was a moment too late to glare, but not half a second short either.
Blue eyes checked him out for some seconds, and the woman spoke again, this time with a bit more pushed courtesy. "Getting something for your girlfriend?"
"Yes," Neji confirmed.
"Tell me something about her; I'll pick something out for you that will fit her like a dream."
"She's average in height. Asian, good proportions, nice face. Her legs are... really quite something."
"I need you to tell me about bust size. I know what you're thinking. If I'm gonna spend this much money, might as well buy her something that'll bring out the girls. Am I right?" The woman smirked. Neji all but chuckled.
"I told you. She's well proportioned."
The woman smiled for a half a second. "I have just the thing. But there are quite a few naughts on the price tag. Though I assure you it is the finest silk we have to offer…"
Making a last trip to the video shop before Christmas, Neji rented Tenten's favourites.
Lee smiled this teethy grin and told him to enjoy, and the man behind Neji said, "Looks like your daughter loves that movie too! It seems that you just beat me to it!"
And it was the closest Neji had ever been towards blushing.
Rolling up his sleeves Neji stared at the mess in front of him. "I can do this." Compared to furious managers and clueless girlfriends, a couple of dust bunnies were no match for his broom… right?
The boxes had to go. The shelves needed to be put up and the boxes unpacked, and so far only the kitchen had been done.
There were a million other things to dom too.
Neji then checked his watch. 12 P.M. He probably had until seven or eight to get it all done.
"Well. We'll start with…" Neji muttered to himself, trying to find an opening, but instead tripped over a box full of ceramics. "Crap."
Upon the verge of finishing, Neji had practically become her knight in rusty armour. It had been the longest day since they moved here together, but the results were well worth it.
With only half an hour until she came home, Neji promptly vacuumed the floorboards, hastily set up some stir-fry on the wok, and steamed the buns he'd gotten at a Chinese take-away, two varieties: pork and red bean. He prayed to god that none of the food would be spoilt in the crazy rush that was today.
And at the end of it all, poor Neji lay slumped on the couch, almost asleep with his great handiwork quite spiffy before him, and the great smell of Chinese cuisine in the air. Neji waited impatiently; though he didn't like to admit it, he was anticipating Tenten's arrival.
His stray mind wandered, and he wondered what sort of response he might evoke from her. Ignorance and resentment or mercy, warmth (hopefully inside her mouth, or other bodily places) and gratitude? Since everyone knew Tenten to be a forgiving girl, Neji was expecting (and hoped for) the latter.
And finally the door squeaked open, and Tenten appeared, supporting what seemed to be a very heavy, genuine Christmas tree, along with a hundred plastic bags huddled around it, all trying to squeeze through the door.
"Let me help you with that; it seems to be quite the heavy load," Neji offered in the most gentlemanly way possible.
"Damn right, it's heavy!"
Neji placed the tree against a corner of the living room, and Tenten simply dropped her bags at her feet.
"Hey," Neji started, trying hard to sound… affectionate.
"Hi." Tenten was short of breath, and she looked at him with the face of an estranged child.
She didn't expect Neji to draw her towards him so he was pressing against her heat and put his hand on his favourite part of her body, which was the shapely arch in which her hip thrust out from her waist. There was a comfy spot of skin right there where he loved to rest his hand, especially during their sessions of gradually sparse lovemaking.
His ear brushed past her cheek as pressed his lips softly under her earlobe, and murmured the words, "I missed you." Subsequently he took his mouth on placed it above her left eyelid, mumbling against her flesh. "I'm sorry." Tenten's arms were slowly creeping around his waist, much to her pride's dismay. "And I…" Neji murmured, looking at her. But he couldn't quite manage to choke the next two words in the sentence.
"Don't. It's okay. You don't have to finish that sentence. What you did with the place was enough," Tenten giggled. She touched his face. "Just kiss me. Right here." She was grinning, pointing at the hot, wet crevice that was the inside of her open mouth. "We gotta warm you up, s'pecially in this sorta of weather."
The dress lay hidden and gift-wrapped under their bed.
Tenten lay asleep on Neji's shoulder as the TV flickered in front of the couch. Tomorrow would be Christmas Eve, where they would (most likely) spend hours arguing over what they should put on the Christmas tree, the unfavourable guest list, spoilt food—the wrong amount of salt or sugar, too much flour, how this dish had been put it in the oven for too long and that one placed it the fridge too late… The list could go on and on.
But all was calm now. Tenten was like the carnation of the carol "Silent Night", as he turned her legs up to rest on the sofa, letting out a soft yawn.
As ordered, Neji then went to retrieve a few blankets from the bedroom, pulled them over her shivering body, kissed her forehead (she was a heavy sleeper, unlike her counterpart), went away to his desk and then tried his luck on today's sudoku.
And all was quiet except for the tick, tick ticking of the clock on the wall.
Breakfast was at ten. This was the first time Tenten was going to stay at home for the whole day ever since they moved in together. Along with bacon and eggs, she made a stack of pancakes served with butter and maple syrup. Tenten had always been the better cook.
"Good morning, Neji!"
Neji's head hurt from sleeping in. Yesterday was an exhausting day, and he was sure he had some pretty horrible bed hair to deal with too. Looking like he was glaring because it was so hard to open his eyes, Neji glanced at the hotcakes on the dining table, and then at his partner wearing the frilly pink apron. He stalked towards her and put his hand on her arm, leaning forward across her neck to give her a kiss on the cheek.
"Pancakes," he commented, sniffing, "What's the occasion? Hm?"
"Oh nothing special, but I guess you can say since it's Christmas Eve and all…" She had the happy-go-lucky face on. "Go wash your face. You look hungover."
"Humph."
"C'mon," she pushed. Tenten turned on the tap beside her after she put the bacon and egg onto two plates for serving. Neji put his hand under the flowing tap and relished the touch of cold water on his face. As soon as he was done: "Now let's eat! Neji I must say, I do love the bed hair, and it really suits you." Tenten was smiling devilishly, while Neji shot her a stare. "Oh! Grumpy guts. I'll fix it up for you later!"
Tenten brushed the topic off with a wave of her fork.
"So, who'd you invite?" Neji cut in.
"Well, Lee – I'm sure you have no objection to Lee or Hinata for that matter… Um, Temari, a colleague of mine and her boyfriend, Shikamaru, Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba who is insisting that he bring that pup of his along…"
"You let him bring his dog?"
"He wouldn't come without him!" Tenten's face asked him to please understand. Neji grunted. She continued, "Erm, Mr. Gai, my professor—Tsunade, who is bringing along her husband, your uncle, Hanabi annndddd Shino, you know, from next door?"
Neji winced at his uncle's mention. Then, in reference to their neighbour, said, "But that guy is shady. Or deranged or something."
"I don't care if he's 'shady' goddamnit. He's our neighbour and we need to show some hospitality if we're going to be living here. He certainly has, and we need to return the favour."
"What if he's you know, mentally—"
"Neji!"
"Okay! I apologise."
Here Neji made an amused laugh. Tenten rolled her eyes at him. "So how's the food?" she asked between chews. Neji always swallowed before he spoke, a habit Tenten needed to catch on if she ever was to join the Hyuuga household, hopefully soon.
"It's alright."
"Alright?"
"It's good."
"Good."
"Really good, happy?"
"Satisfied."
Neji finished the last of his food long after Tenten did. She was waiting for him prior to ornamenting the tree, even though she had been placed in charge of arranging the ornaments that consisted of sweet-looking foil covered chocolate angels, glittering decorative balls, candy canes, snowflakes, and little handmade pieces that looked quite expensive.
But not before she got a brush, combed through Neji's hair and braided it. He always kept it so slick and long. "Your hair always smells nice, Neji. Like milk and honey! You're such a good boy, staying still for me."
It was a big tree and Tenten never settled for anything less than flashy. First they wove the tree with fairy lights, having a little fun when Tenten purposely knotted them in the chords (and to this day she still insisted she was innocent in the matter). Neji had to help with the higher spots she couldn't reach.
"How sweet of you!" Tenten gushed whenever appropriate. Neji thought everything was going very well... Not an argument since the Night-of-the-Dreaded-Condom (Or Lack Thereof) Incident.
When eventually the tree was magnificent and beautified to one small imperfection. It was the star that Tenten asked Neji to place it on the tip of the tree.
"No, I think you deserve the honour."
"Ngaww, you're so terribly sweet when you want to be but a total jackass when you don't mean it. But I can't get to it." Tenten rubbed her face against her boyfriend's woolly arm, and he responded by putting his arm around her back and legs, lifting her up so she could indeed reach the top of the tree.
"Now you can."
"Woah… Oh!" Neji gave her a cheeky smirked as he pinched her butt (denying that he ever did so in the first place). Tenten blew a raspberry as she was let back down to the ground after the star was set in place. "Dummy."
They found themselves cooking for the rest of the day, Neji silently obeyed every command Tenten threw at him, and was especially careful to consider them in the kitchen. By the time they finished the food preparations, wrapping of gifts for their guests and made sure the table cloth was set and the Santa centrepiece, it was already well past midnight, all lights were off and both parties were already half asleep in bed.
"Hey," Tenten breathed, slipping an ankle in between Neji's legs.
"You're going to regret it later," he said, voice muffled in her hair. He smiled in the darkness. "So just sleep now."
In the morning they both awoke to a bright-eyed day. They'd both attached stockings on either side of the bed post, and when they were up, they were filled to the brim. Neji and Tenten mutually agreed to open their gifts later after the dinner party was finished, mostly because they had kind of a longing to have a more intimate sentimentalism over the whole thing.
Waiting for the guests to arrive, Tenten spoke frivolously about her adventures while she was away on her own little planet. She talked about the charities, the good food and nice people. Neji listened closely; he was a good listener, but not a particularly good talker, though he was definitely not a bad thinker either. She talked for such a long time, Neji became so absentminded he didn't realise that already Christmas come, at least not until the bell rung and the first guests arrived.
They were Neji's relatives, Hiashi, Hinata and Hanabi, all dressed in extremely formal attire. They looked was so damn classy they made Neji and Tenten's decent garments seem shabby in comparison. Hiashi was stoic as ever, handing Tenten two beautifully wrapped boxes on "behalf of the Hyuuga family." He then sat himself straight on the couch, his daughters shy and tongue-tied beside him.
"How's a drink sound, Mr. Hyuuga?" Tenten offered with a smile.
"Why, it sounds simply splendid. Anything would be fine."
"Coming right up!"
Hiashi then said something completely uncalled for. "This is only the second time I've met her but I'm able to fathom that she's not only is she polite, but a quite the beauty as well. You've done well, my nephew."
He then smiled a smile that made the wrinkles on the side of his eyes cringe, and he looked so aged for a moment, Neji wanted to just apologise for all the times he'd thought of him badly. He was stuck for an instant, not knowing what to do or say, looking quite awkward, until the bell rang again.
"Merry Christmas," the voice called in a flat monotone.
"Shino! Welcome." Tenten took the huge box off his hands and handed him his gift in return.
Following Shino there was Naruto and Sasuke, who brought along an oddly familiar girl who interestingly had dyed pink hair…
...The scantily clad PMS-ing Ninja Goods clerk!
"Crap," Neji muttered.
"You!" the girl cried.
"You know each other?" Tenten asked, quite confused with the situation.
"U-uh, no. Of course not. I have no idea who she is. Never seen her."
"Arsehole," she cursed under her breath. She narrowed her eyes and sat her flaming self down next to poor fear-stricken Hinata.
"Did you invite her?" Neji snapped under his breath.
"No. I have no idea who she is," Tenten replied innocently.
"You better not," he grumbled darkly.
The culprit, Naruto, hearing their conversation answered, "Oh, that would've been me. She just looked so sweet with those mascara stained cheeks!"
Lee followed up after Naruto, Sasuke and the unexpected guest. And after Lee no one kept track as they arrived one after the other, though it was worthy to note Temari and her boyfriend arrived last, lagging behind them were four extra people –An overweight man, a tacky looking blond who seemed to know the rosette girl, a redhead boy who wore mascara, and a freaky looking guy who carried around a puppet. Neji knew not any of these four strangers, though the fifth and last one who tagged along was recognised by Neji as the store clerk who sold him Tenten's dress.
She, too, smirked at him in recognition.
"Did you invite them too?"
"No! Well, I do admit I told them they could bring a few people… but I swear it's not my fault!"
"Tenten, I know, but this? This is slightly over the top."
There was not enough room in the apartment to fit them all, so Tenten made an announcement. "Sorry everyone, it seems that we have run out of space and chairs, so some of you will have to move out into the veranda and some others will have to sit on the floor."
"It's OK, we'll just crash here on the couch!" a vulgar bunch of young cockroaches called out, namely Kiba, Naruto and the ones Shikamaru dragged along.
Tenten dabbed a scowling Neji's forehead with a tissue. "It's alright. We'll make it." He glowered at her.
The honoured guests, specifically Professor Tsunade; her husband, a man called Jiraiya; Mr. Gai; Shino; Hiashi and the rest of the Hyuuga all sat at the dinner table. There were a few spots left, and Neji offered them to more decent and sensible guests, namely Temari, Sasuke and Lee.
The group on the couch got drunk off booze (and so did Tsunade and Jiraiya, the exceptions at the dinner table), and had their own fun while some others were forced to dine outside. Most predominantly Akamaru, who watched his master through the sliding door catch a few gropes with the girls. Luckily Hinata kept the poor pooch company, as she had no interest in highly intellectual and often biting conversation at the main table.
Hours ticked by and it was time to leave, though the Hyuuga had already been gone for a very long time; all of them had been subject to their strict curfews.
By then the place was in such an awful mess that there were even a few cases of vomiting in the toilet. Upon checking it in disgust, Neji ushered everone to the exit.
"Party's over; everyone get out," Neji growled. He gave the drunk and disorderly a little shove out the door.
Tenten in comparison merrily stuck her arm around Neji's waist, bravely making an optimistic statement. "Everyone, come back soon!"
"You wouldn't dare." Neji shot her a death glare.
"Oh, I would," she said. "And don't you worry about a thing; I'll get everything cleaned up by the end of tomorrow. I'll start with the toilet right now."
"I think… I think Naruto and Sasuke well... And so did your professor and her husband. And god knows who else." Neji stammered as he looked at the sight of it. There was a smudge of lipstick on the wall. And a few used condoms scattered around the tiled floor, unknown liquids also splattered here and there, one of them probably being vomit.
"Oh god." Neji clapped with his forehead with his palm.
"I think I'm going to get the vacuum cleaner."
Neji stood, using one hand to dig his nails into the bridge of his nose, the other tightly hung around his hip.
At least they had floorboards and not carpet, so the muck on the ground was relieved of easily. The Christmas tree stood unharmed, though it was stripped of more than half of its ornamental edibles.
The dinner table was ignored; tomorrow they would call for the ultimate dishwashing session. No one was allowed to enter the bedroom or the study, and they were locked off anyway, easing the stress already swelling inside Neji's brain. Thank god barely any damage was done to the kitchen; the only sign of potential danger was a broken wine glass on the floor, which quickly swept up and thrown in the bin.
Neji was finished first, and Tenten emerged from the bathroom after a shower, shivering with nothing but a fresh towel on. "Just turn on the air con and get me a jacket."
He did as he was told, and bought her nice and warm pair of track pants to boot.
A little time later they had settled onto their bed, looking over all the gifts they had received, leaving each others' until last. Their presents ranged from an ex-rental "Enter the Dragon" DVD from the bankrupt Lee to an ant farm (talk about deranged) to an expensive pair of his and her bathrobes with matching towels and slippers.
They also turned their stockings upside down and eyed the things they'd gotten for each other.
Tenten's stocking was an assortment of candies, a panda plushie, a locket and other smallish of trinkets.
Neji comparatively received a new razor, shaving cream, a fashionable necktie, a stylish Swiss watch and multi-flavoured lubes.
He stared blankly at the last few items he pulled from the stocking, blinking quite slowly. Tenten watched him with a dirty smile. But as he was still gaping at the unexpected extras, Tenten had already smoothed her fingers over the glossy wrapping of her own present, ripped off the bow, and opened the box.
"Oh, it's beautiful!" She ran her hands against the soft black silk of the qipao, tracing the golden lining on the hems of the dress, and the intricate yellow embroidery of a dragon that soared at the back of the cheongsam. She reached lower to brush the assortment of flowers below him glittering like a thousand red stars, and she'd then decided in that moment that thread spoke an eloquent language of it's own.
"So you like it."
"Of course I like it!"
"Try it on, I wasn't sure what size you were. But if it's too big or small, I can swap it for something else."
"Oh no, I won't. This thing was meant for a goddess. No mere mortal like me could wear this."
"You're close enough."
She couldn't resist, she stripped to her undergarments. She put it on, and Temari was right, it did fit her like a dream.
"So, it was Temari who picked it out for you! She has good taste you know, and she probably knew you were talking about me. I hate to admit it but I kinda blabbed on about you to her."
"I have something else for you too." Neji silenced her ramblings; he presented her with a stunningly sheathed katana, a pretty gold bow tied around the grip, with a most complex and inspired design on its casing. Not even having to unsheath the sword to know its splendour, Tenten huddled against his neck and wrapped her arms around her lover's torso.
"You spoil me to no end!" she squealed. "Oooh, I love you so much. Quick, open yours!"
She stuffed the package in his face. He took it in his hands and opened it. Neji resisted the urge to gawk.
He was now holding a first edition manual on the art of Wushu, handwritten by a master.
"How the hell did you get your hands on this?"
Tenten merely grinned like an infatuated teenager. And poked his stomach where there was still a good trace of hard muscle from back when he did sit-ups and sit-ups side by side with Lee. "I thought you should take it up again. Now the other one. Open the other one."
The other box was much smaller in size. Neji shook it, and didn't bother to be very careful with the wrapping. He opened it and found himself face to face with…
A packet of grape flavoured condoms.
EDIT: Version 3, 6th October 2011.
A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! And thanks for reading up to hiar. Hearts and snowflake cookies for you all!
I find it bemusing that Tenten thinks genitalia is meant to be edible. Though it probably is the most in-character Tenten I've ever written, cause' on her data page one word to describe her personality was "busybody".
So, it's been a LONNNNGGG time I've written, and I'd changed my style a little here.
Anyway, review at me. It's the holidays—SPEAD THE LOVE! Happy holidays! Hope the crack!fluff found it's way to the beat of your hearts...