Hello, random oneshot done over AIM from your freindly yaoi addicts Eieibakimono and Itachiseme666 here! I'd like to point out that, prior to the writing of this oneshot, we had been having an in-charecter fight for over a week in which, after our first oneshot, both Dei and Sasori refused to say that he was infact gay, saying that the night had been mere "expirimenting", and that the feelings for eachother that they had allowed out were al lies. (Even Sasori, who had promised Deidara that he wasn't lyeing that time.) If you wanna read that story it's called "How'd This All Happen?" I might eventually put the filler chapters in that lead up to this, and combine the stories into one long one. When I stop being a lazy bitch that is!
Anyways, Warning: Caontains yaoi [guy on guy stuff, don't like, leave right fuckin now.
Also, DISSCLAIMER: We don't own Sasori, Deidara, the Akatsuki, or any other Naruto related things. Except a few drawings we do of our oneshots. We own those. But still not the charecters. -cries-
xXx
"I am more specialer than your battery, un." Deidara and Sasori had somehow gotten into a fight about... batteries..?
"HOMG! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
"Ohfuckyes"
"My battery owns your battery's ass!"
"Ohno My battery is like uber own-age like to the infinity-ith power,un"
"Well...my battery is pocket-sized"
"My battery is...Cleavage-sized."
"Who's cleavage?"
"B-Blue's I guess. It's versatile,un" Deidara had begun confusing himself.
"Meep... Well mine...changes size!!!"
"Mine is an exploding puppet battery, so it is art in all ways, un"
"Well my battery is rechargeable, and thus will last, and so therefore is art!"
"My battery EXPLODES!! Did you not hear it the first time??!?!?! It go BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Well then yours sucks"
"Nuh-uh!!!!!" Deidara pouted.
"Yuh-huh!"
"Nuh-uh, cause mine disrupts the space time continuim creating a large enough wormhole to destroy galaxies at a time and warp the universe to a point where It collapses in on itself and we all disappear into nothing." Sasori seemed surprised at what his blonde partner had just said.
"Y...your brain had the capacity to understand all that...?"
"Of course, why wouldn't it, un?!?!?!?!"
"Well, I just thought since y'know, you think art is a bang and all, that you aren't able to understand what art is, much less something as complex as that..."
"But...art is a bang, un. That's completely correct. "
"No, art is a beautiful thing that lasts, everlasting beauty"
"No, How dare you have the audacity to disrupt my creativity with your completely incorrect crack-head art theories,un?!?!?!"
"By being the one who is correct" Sasori stated flatly.
"But you're not the one who is correct,un. "
"Yes, I am"
"No, you are completely and utterly shallow and incorr-fuck the fancy talk...Do you wanna get punched in the jaw puppet boy,un?!?!?!?!" Deidara threatened.
"Not like it'll hurt..." Sasori remarked. But it hurt him to think of Deidara wanting to really hurt him...
"Do you wanna get punched in the heart,un?!?!?!"
"You wanna wake up dead, woman?!" Sasori said, a hint of anger in his voice. "And yes, you ARE a woman, Dei."
"Woman?!?!?! That's it. I am so punching you in the Baby next time I see you,un. "
"Eh?"
"Oh, I'm sorry...You're not pregnant...I got confused for a second...un..."
"..? I'm still confused..."
"Anyway...I am not a woman!!!!!!!!!!!" Deidara said, cooling down a bit.
"You look like one"
"Are you gay? "
"Why?"
"Cause if you are I was wondering why you would do...the things that we've done...with someone who looks like a woman,un" There was a long pause. "So Danna do you plan on answering my question,un?" He placed his hands on his hips. Sasori sniggered.
"You're so feminine! Hehehe"
"What,un?"
"The way you're standing says 'I'm a girl' all over, what with your hands on your hips so preppilly." Deidara crossed his arms.
"Here masculine enough for ya,un?!!?!? Anyway, would you stop avoiding the question,un?!?!"
"What was the questions, again, Deidara?"
"Are.You.Gay?"
"N-...no..."
"But...I feel so...used,un..."
"W-why?"
"Cause..." Deidara blushed. :We did things...and you aren't gay..."
"Well neither are you, what should you care..?"
"Well...Funny story about that..."
"...Yesssssssssssssss?"
"N-Nevermind,un. "
"Tell me, Dei..." Sasori said with a reassuring voice. Deidara blushed.
"W-well..." Deidata put his fingers together like Hinata. "I...I... "
"'I'?..."
"I...am...uh...I..."
"Yes, Dei-kun..?"
"I kinda...Sorta...L-Like... M-Men...a...alot...P-Please don't hate me Danna,un... " Deidara had a sad expresion on his face. Sasori moved slowly toward Deidara.
"Deidara..." he began. Said blonde looked down at the floor.
"Hmm,un?" Sasori placed his hand under Dei's chin and lifted his face up.
"Me too..." Deidara's eyes widened as Sasori placed his wooden lips softly onto Deidara's warm, soft, fleshy ones.
"D-Danna...Isn't it wrong though,un...?" Deidara questioned, unsure of himself.
"Well, so is being an S-class criminal, always stealing, killing, etc. Although it is against the rules as a shinobi to show emotion..." Deidara looked back down at the floor and sighed. "But we break every other rule, so why not that one as well?" Sasori looked at Deidara with a reassuring smile. Deidara smiled weakly back.
"Y-yeah...I guess,un..."
"So, 're ya gonna return the kiss or just leave me hanging?" Sasori smirked.
"Sorry Danna." Deidara suddenly got really shy, and when he did kiss Sasori it was just a childish kiss on the cheek. Sasori sighed.
"Such a little brat sometimes" He said with a smirk.
"What,un? " Deidara asked, confused.
"Nothing," Sasori hugged Deidara close. "Never mind."
"...Um...what now...un...?" Deidara wanted to do things to Sasori that he had wanted to do for a long time.
"Well, what do you want to do now?" Sasori asked the blonde sculptor. "I don't wanna do anything if you don't wanna..." But oh how he wished he could just tear Deidara's clothes to pieces and have him right then and there.
"Well...Heh...The truth is... I'm kinda...inexperianced...heh...So I don't know what to do now,un..." Deidara blushed.
"Heh, well, ironically, me too, no one wants a puppet like me..." Sasori trailed off, remembering his lonely past. Some akward movements were made by Deidara. "Umm...d...do you...I mean...you..I...never said...us...are we 2 a 2? Cause if not, then perhaps we shouldn't?" Sasori couldn't exactly find the right words to voice his concern.
"I...I think we...I...want to be, un...But If you don't then..."
"Deidara, every time we touch I get this weird feeling that umm...well it makes my stomache, damn my human organs, all squiggly and lopsided..."
"M-Me too," Deidara said with a bright smile. "...So..That's a yes, un...? "
"I...I guess so..." Sasori said with a small smile.
"So..." Deidara laughed akwardly.
"So...what..? What would you like, Deidara-kun?"
"Ummm..." Deidara made a cute face "...That depends on what I can have,un... "
"You can have...anything you want..." Sasori developed a slight blush. Deidara pushed Sasori backwards onto the couch they were on and kissed him. Sasori lightly licked Deidara's lips, meekly asking entrance. Deidara gasped a little, and Sasori took advantage of it and pushed his tounge into the blonde's mouth, and gently massaged the other's tounge. Deidara put his hands into Sasori's hair.
"Nnn..." Deidara let out a quiet moan. Sasori slid his tounge around in Deidara's mouth, exploring every undiscovered crevice, licking across his teeth and slithering his tounge as far down the sculptor's throat as he could. Deidara gagged slightly. He tried to take control and pushes against Sasori's tongue disobediantly. Smirking into the kiss, Sasori removes his tounge from Deidara's mouth, leaving the blonde wanting more.
"Danna!!!!" Deidara whined with a pout.
"What, Dei-kun? You want more?" Sasori licked Deidara's lips, but refused to go further, no matter how much he, himself, wanted to.
"Ye-" Deidara began, but stopped himself and decided to be assertive, moving down and licking Sasori's neck seductively nibbling gently into the smooth wood.
"Mmmmnnn feeling seme-ish tonight, Deidara..?"
"Yes." Deidara purred, licking down Sasori's collarbone.
"Ok, I'll nnnn I'll let you for nnnouuh nowww..." Sasori was having trouble forming a complete sentence. Deidara grimaced, kind of wishing he had been forced down and overpowered. He un-buttoned Sasori's cloak quickly. The redhead grinned and unbuttoned Deidara's cloak, more slowly than the blonde. Said blonde pulled the cloak from under Sasori, throwing it randomly on the floor, and began pulling off Sasori's shirt. Sasori blushed, stopping Deidara. "M..my b-body...it's...s-so..I don't want you to see..."
Deidara grimmaced. "B-but...I...Fine...un..." He gave up protesting.
"It's just that... My body...it's so ugly, Deidara... I don't want you to be frightened or disgusted..." Sasori looked away, feeling sad and mentally slapping himself for having ever stopped Deidara in the first place.
"But..This will be no fun, If I can't see your body,un..." Deidara stated with a seductive smile.
"F-...fine but...promise me...that you wont hate it..?"
"I promise,un... "
"Okay..." Sasori let go of Deidara's wrists, letting him continue, still blushing madly. Deidara slowly pulled up Sasori's shirt and gasped.
"It's...It's..." Sasori flinched, waiting for the worst. "Odd...But...I don't know...Like...Interesting...?"
"So...you...like...it..?" But Deidara was busy concentrating on it and didn't hear the question. "D...Dei-Dei-kun...? Deidara!" Sasori moved down further under Deidara so that his chest was no longer visible.
"Oh, hmm?" Deidara said with a slight shake of his head.
"W...What's wrong, Deidara..?You kept staring at me... Is it bad...?"
"No...Quite the opposite... I am completely infatuated with it,un." Deidara was so entranced that his normal happy manner was gone.
"S...so then... You like it..?"
"Yes..." Deidara leaned down to whisper in Sasori's ear, "I am in love with it...with you..."
"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what...?" Sasori's heartbeat increased, and his blush deepened noticeably.
"You heard me..." Deidara smiled inwardly in accomplishment. "I think...No..I am...In love with you..."
"D-d-d-d-Deidara-kun I..you..." Sasori was speechless.
The adrenaline rush gone, his normal nature returned, Deidara quickly said, "I'm sorry If I'm too up front Danna...I'm sorry..."
"Don't be sorry, Dei-kun..." Sasori whispered in Deidara's ear. "I love you too." Deidara smiles and nuzzles Sasori's neck.
"You make me so happy,un..." Sasori began licking and nibbling Deidara's ear.
"Where were we..?" The redhead said seductively.
"Nnn...Danna...Taht's my job.." Deidara pulled head up and looked down at Sasori. Said puppet grinned up at the flustered blonde.
"Well then do your job..." He licked his lips in anticipation. Deidara sucked on Sasori's collar bone lightly, trailing his lips over the finely carved crevases of the smooth wood. "Uuuuh...mmm..." Sasori moved one hand up into Deidara's hair and slowly began to unwind the band keeping the blonde hair up so pretty. Deidara moved down slowly over Sasori's chest, biting down on the wood occasionally. 'Thank whatever god made me retain the ability to feel...' Sasori thought, fallowed by saying, "Mmm Deidara, you're going so slow...it feels good...but i need...assistance... with a little problem...for you see...there's a party in my pants, and you're invited." Deidara reached the line of the redhead's pants giggling.
"Would you mind bracing me for what I may find here,un...?" He ran his fingers along the line of Sasori's pants. The redhead blushed.
"Well um...I...didn't make all of my body a puppet...and that's one of the few organs I kept human..." By now his face was as red as his hair. Deidara licked his lips.
"Okay,un..." He pulled off Sasori's pants with in-human speed. "IS THAT A THONG,UN?!?!?!?!?" Sasori grinned, suppressing wild laughter.
"Real men wear thongs. And technically, it's called a 'bananahamock'. "
"Doesn't matter, It's gonna be off in a moment anyway,un..." Deidara began slowly removing the bananahamock, pulling it carefully and gently down past Sasori's legs. "Mmm," he purred.
Blushing fiercely, Sasori stated, "Hey...no fair... you're still completely clothed..." He pulled Deidara's shirt off and began removing the blonde's pants. The pyro giggled.
"I thought you needed me to relieve you as soon as possible,un? "
"It can wait...until I can see you..." Sasori slowly pulled Deidara's pants down. Said blonde blushed.
"O-okay." He helped pull his pants down. Sasori moved hands back up to pull Deidara's boxers off, but seemingly realizing something, kept going up and untied the slashed IwaGakure headband from Deidara's head, allowing the blonde locks to fall freely. Grinning, he tossed the metal-and-cloth aside, and went down to initiate boxer removal. Deidara blushed.
"D-Danna, I can do it." He put his hands on Sasori's.
"Ok-k-kay..." Deidara quickly pulled off his boxers and blushed, looking away. Sasori put his hand on Dei's chin and guided his head back facing his own, looking deep into the visible baby blue eye, which by now was barely visible thanks to the hair falling all around the blonde's head. "What're you so embarrassed about, Dei-kun?"
"I dunno, I'm just...a shy person I guess." Deidara hugged Sasori, almost forgetting the friction that it would cause.
"Uhhhn...D-Deidara...ou-our...ahh.."
"Nnn" Deidara ground their hips together, enjoying it.
"Ahh..ohh..D-Deidara-kun...m..more..." Deidara stopped suddenly and scooted down, licking Sasori's tip gently.
"What, I think I need to hear that again..." He said with a smirk.
"Ahh..m...more Dei-kun..more please...!" Deidara continued to lick teasingly, creating circles around the tip with his tongue. "Ahh..!Deidara please!.. Please m-more!" Deidara smirked at seeing Sasori looking so completely desperate, before taking all of the redhead into his mouth. "Mmmm D-Deidara-kun...uuh.." Deidara bobbed his head over Sasori slowly and roughly, allowing his teeth to skid across the wood, swirling his tongue around it. "Uhhhhn D-Deidara-k-kun...f-faster please..." Deidara smirked and sped up slightly, still teasing Sasori a bit, before taking Sasori out of his mouth.
"Scream my name. " He demanded.
"D-D-Deidara-kun...p-please...make me scream, then..." Deidara smirked again, and backs up slightly, positioning himself near the redhead's openeing.
"Are you sure you want this,un?"
"Y-yes, please Dei-kun..." Deidara smiled seductively and slid himself in slowly the first time, tilting his head back from the pleasure, before slamming back into Sasori roughly.
Tilting his head back, Sasori yelled, "Ahhh D-Deidara-kun!" Deidara pulled back out, then slammed back in with even more force. He quietly moaned.
"Ahh Deid-DARA!" The blonde sped up his pace, still thrusting with the same force, sweat sliding down his face. "Ahh!" Sasori clawed at Deidara's back, not even bothering to be careful not to draw blood.
Deidara bit his lip in the mild pain. "Unnnn" He thrust faster, lifting Sasori's legs slightly.
"Uhhhhn D..Dei-..Deidaraaaaa..." Sasori moaned loudly. Deidara's stomach tightened slightly, he continued the thrusting, biting his lip until blood was rolling down his chin. He finally got a chance to be seme and he wasn't planning on ruining it by making noise.
"Dei-...Deidara-kun...I... soon... I'm gonna.. ahhhhhhhhhh" Sasori was reaching climax. Deidara smirked.
"Go ahead.." Deidara began pumping Sasori's length. "Cum, Sasori..."
"Ahh..Dei-...D-d..." Sasori stammered, quickly closing in. "D—DEIDARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" He screamed as he came onto both of their stomaches. He panted loudly and quickly, looking so small and young and new to the experience. Deidara thrust one more time before cumming into Sasori. He slumped down onto the redhead under him, panting hard.
Between deep breaths and pants Sasori said, "D-Deidara-kun...Y-you wanted to moan" He grinned lightly. "I could tell." He gently wiped the blood away from Deidara's chin. Deidara blushed.
"Sh-Shut up... No, i didn't," he said pouting.
"It's o-okay, Deidara..." Sasori's breathing was beginning to return to normal. "It's only natural to want to scream and moan from such pleasure..."
"Hmph...The seme shouldn't moan, I know that much, Danna,un."
"Well, it's only a natural human response to so much pleasure, Dei-kun, you shouldn't feel like less of a man just because you let a moan of two slip out." Sasori smiled weakly at the Deidara, running his wooden fingers through the long blonde locks on his head.
"B-but..." Deidara tried to fight, still pouting. Sasori grinned.
"Although pouting like that makes you look childish," he said with a chuckle.
"You're such a jerk sometimes, Danna, un." Deidara said, nuzzling Sasori's neck.
"Yeah, well ,I can't help it, ya brat, I grew up alone, and you're a new feeling to me all together." He smiled and gently placed a kiss on Deidara's forehead.
"Hey, Danna...?"
"Yeah, Deidara?"
"We should probably get cleaned up,un." He sat up and looked at their stomaches.Sasori grinned lightly before slithering his body down so that his head is even with Deidara's stomache, and began to lick the drying mess from the handsome boy's stomache. "Nnnnn, D-Danna..."
"Hmm? You said we needed to clean up" Sasori chuckled, continuing to clean Deidara like a cat to a kitten.
"Nnn..." Deidara began topant a little. Grinning lightly, Sasori finished cleaning Deidara with his tounge and moved back up to look Deidara in the face. "You're clean, Dei-kun," he whispered in Dei's ear. The blonde climbed off of of Sasori.
"Thanks, but i think I need a shower,un." Sasori chuckled lightly.
"I wish I could join you, but sadly that would harm my non-water-proof parts." Deidara walked over to the bathroom door, before turning and looking back at Sasori, a smile on his fce.
"Sasori-Danna...?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you" His smile grew bigger. Sasori smiled back at Dei.
"I love you too, Deidara-kun." Deidara yawned.
"Damn...the nights over..we didn't sleep...oh well,un..." he walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Sasori thought to himself, 'Yeah, the night may not be over, but the day's just begun, and I'm feeling a little like a raccoon right now' He curled up on the couch, deciding to clean himself off later, and quickly fell asleep. The others were gonna find a big surprise later if Deidara decided to join his slumber there in the main room...
End