AN: Re-uploading due to removal.
Pairing: Fili/Kili
Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Romance, Smut
Embrace and Defeat
Fili eagerly awaited the arrival of his sibling. He'd been overjoyed when his mother said he would soon have a brother, though how she knew, Fili did not understand. He watched her belly grow, and every day would pester his mother with rushed questions.
"Is it today, is it today?" he would ask, and his mother would grin at him and shake her head.
"Not yet, dear Fili," she would reply with a laugh, telling him he must be patient and that his little brother would arrive when he was good and ready. The first time he'd felt his brother kick Fili had squealed with excitement. He thought of all the fun he'd have with a brother, and all the trouble they would get into too. When the day finally came Fili waited with his uncle outside his mother's room, listening until the cries of a newborn passed through the door. He was happy, and brimming with enthusiasm, though it lessened as healers rushed into the room and he was unable to view his brother for many days.
When he'd first laid eyes on little Kili, Fili had understood why. His brother was small. The smallest baby Fili had ever seen, even for a dwarf child. His mother told him Kili's heart and lungs were weak, and that he was ill. She explained that he would have to be careful around him, as he was not as strong as other dwarf children, and Fili promised he would be. Not two days later Kili's chest was wracked with coughing. His small form contracted on the blankets his mother laid him out on. She cried over him, trying everything she could to make the coughing stop, to no avail. Kili was choking and there was nothing Dis could do about it. Fili knew his brother couldn't breathe, and that minutes more of this and he would lose him forever. He watched as his uncle rushed into the room and away to fetch a healer, but Fili feared it would be too late. His mother was sobbing above Kili, and Fili could watch his brother's suffering no more. He rushed to his side, ignoring the panicked cries of his mother as he bent so his mouth was next to Kili's tiny ear.
"Shh, my brother, it's alright," Fili whispered, and he placed a hand gently on his brother's small chest. Slowly he rubbed in a soft circle, cringing only slightly when he felt the baby's chest contract with spasms. Fili breathed in deeply beside his brother, as he whispered soothingly to him, continuing to rub his chest. He placed a soft kiss over where he thought Kili's heart might be and listened for the erratic beating to slow and steady. He continued to whisper there.
"Kili, breathe with me, everything will be fine," he spoke gently. He was determined to calm his brother; he would not lose Kili, not like this, not when they'd only just met.
Dis watched as her eldest son soothed his little brother, and thick tears fell from her eyes as her baby's chest suddenly stopped moving. For moments she thought she had lost her son. She moved closer and gasped in relief as she realized he still took in breaths, and that it was simply no longer erratic. Fili's head still rest against his little brother and a soft smile broke out on his face as he pulled away and looked down at him. Kili's eyes were open and blinking up at Fili as his chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. Dis put a hand to her mouth in disbelief.
"But how?" she whispered and Fili looked up at her with confusion.
"How, my son? How did you stop the coughing?" She asked him, her voice filled with awe.
"I spoke to his heart!" Fili replied with a happy smile, ever the enthusiastic child, and he reached down a finger which Kili immediately grasped in one of his tiny hands. Dis was overcome with emotion at the sight. In that moment the healer arrived, and ran close to check the little one over. He seemed puzzled by the connection between the brothers, and more than a little surprised that Fili had managed to settle the young babe. Kili was breathing well, though he was feverish, and the healer warned that they should watch him closely. A fit like that would most likely reoccur, especially while the child suffered from a fever. Dis explained everything to Thorin, who looked upon his two nephews with curiosity.
"Fili stopped it?" He asked with surprise and tore his eyes away from his nephews to look at his sister.
"Yes…he said that he spoke to his heart. Can you believe it? Made it sound so simple," Dis spoke softly. Then her face scrunched up as tears fell from her eyes again. She put her head in her hands and did her best not to sob.
"I thought my child was going to die! Gasping for air on the floor in front of me! Not a week old for Mahal's sake!" She gasped out, and Thorin moved to comfort her, turning once again to look upon Fili. He eyed the way Fili reacted to his brother, how he almost seemed to communicate silently with him. And he blinked repeatedly when Kili reached up at him to be held. Thorin shared a look with his sister at the strong connection between the two siblings.
"Fili," he said, moving closer to the two young dwarves and settling beside them on the floor.
"Uncle! Look uncle, he's smiling!" Fili spoke with a grin as he held his little brother.
"So he is," Thorin commented and ruffled his nephew's blonde hair. He turned to Fili with a serious expression.
"Fili, you must promise me, and your mother, that you will protect your brother. If another fit comes to him, can you stop it?"
"Yes of course!" Fili said with more confidence than Thorin figured he should have, though still he smiled at his nephew and watched the two interact for the rest of the day.
In the following weeks the fits did reoccur, and each time Kili would catch a terrible fever. Fili was there, always by his side, and he was able to calm his brother with words and by gently rubbing his chest. The few times Fili was not near, the fits became serious, and even the healers were unable to stop them, instead sending someone to fetch the older brother fast as can be. Fili began to understand just how sickly his brother was, and how serious his uncle's words to him had been. He watched as Kili grew, and comforted him through his fits as the years passed. Usually they were predictable, often initiated by increased activity or excitement, but occasionally Kili would simply grow panicked and a fit would begin and stay until his anxiety passed. There were some close calls, when Fili stepped out for a moment and his brother would have an attack. And on one particular occasion it happened in the bath. Luckily Fili had run in and pulled his brother from the water in time to steady his breathing and push the water from his lungs, but it scared both brothers a great amount. That night they shared a bed, Fili holding Kili through his shivers and tears while he whispered soothing words into his ears.
The time came when Fili reached a tricky age. He was beginning to mature, the first speckles of a beard showing on his chin. He wanted independence, and no longer wished to be treated like a child. He was particularly susceptible to the opinions of those around him, and wanted nothing more than to be well liked by the other dwarves of the town. He was smart and strong but limited by having Kili always following around behind him. One day the townsfolk had mocked Fili for bringing his brother along. They told him their games weren't for children and Kili wasn't allowed. If Fili brought Kili then he wasn't allowed to participate either.
On another day Fili might have argued, and said his brother was perfectly capable and just as mature as the rest of them. And though that may have been a bit of a stretch, as Kili was a fan of childish pranks, it was true that his brother would begin maturing soon as well. He wasn't far off really, it just seemed that way because his illness often held him back. Fili knew his brother would have been perfectly capable in a fight if coughing fits didn't wrack his body every time he tried. Still, the words bothered Fili and the next morning he decided to take action. Fili was just finishing lacing up his boots when Kili bounced up to him to tie his own.
"Where are we going today brother?" He happily asked, his smile radiating the room as it always did.
"We are going nowhere brother, I am going into town alone today," Fili answered as he stood and opened the front door. Kili looked up in shock and trampled out after him, the laces on his boots hanging loose on the ground. He ran after his brother down the dirt road towards town.
"What? But brother, I want to come! Please! Take me with you!" Kili begged, bouncing beside Fili as he determinedly walked forwards.
"No Kili, not today," Fili said, his words steady and his face set in a frown. Kili didn't understand why his brother suddenly wanted to leave him. They played together every day and he always thought Fili was happy having him around.
"I won't be a bother I promise!" Kili pleaded further, but he started in surprise when Fili rounded on him with anger in his eyes.
"You're always a bother Kili!" Fili shouted and roughly pushed him away.
"I can't have you always following me around brother!" He continued and Kili gasped slightly at the words. Fili saw the hurt in his brother's eyes but knew it would pass in time, and so he turned to continue on his way.
"Go home! Go back and spend the day with mother," Fili insisted and he continued the trip into town, willing himself not to look back at his brother. Kili stood motionless, watching as his brother's back disappeared in the distance. He felt hot wet tears drip from his eyes and down his face. Never had his brother turned him away before. Though he should have known it would happen someday. His brother was right; Kili couldn't rely on Fili forever. He looked hesitantly back towards home, but couldn't bring himself to head back just yet, and instead his feet carried him to the nearby forest. He and Fili often visited the forest together, and he figured by now he'd easily be able to find his way around. Kili was perfectly capable on his own as well! He'd prove to everyone he could take care of himself. What did he need Fili for anyway?
Not long after arriving in town Fili realised just how boring the other townsfolk were. His brother was far more entertaining than any of the other children would ever be and he began to regret not bringing him along despite their complaints. He sighed heavily. He'd said things to Kili he already wished he could take back. He wasn't a bother, anything but really. Fili remembered the pained look that had crossed his brother's face at the words he'd spoken. He felt an urge to run back home and apologize, to spend the day playing silly games with Kili, joking with him and listening as Kili's laughter filled his ears. There were those rare moments that his brother allowed his laughter to deepen and Fili would have to relax him and keep his breathing stable. Despite the danger, Fili loved those laughs, as they always left a residual smile on his brother's face for hours. Still he stayed in the town for a few hours because of a misplaced desire to prove himself. When a crack of thunder sounded he bounded away quickly towards home barely escaping the beginnings of a downpour. His mother greeted him at the door, and looked out the front in confusion.
"Fili? Where's your brother?" she asked, shutting the door behind him. Fili paused as he removed his boots, a frown coming to his face as worry settled in his heart.
"Isn't he here?" Fili asked hesitantly. Dis looked at him harshly, her eyes narrowing as she repeated the question.
"Where. Is. Your. Brother?" She asked, enunciating each word clearly and Fili looked towards the door in a panic.
"I told him to come home!" He shouted, standing and running to the windows.
"You what? Fili! You left him alone in the street?" She cried, her voice bellowing through their small home. Fili looked at her, his eyes filled with guilt and fear.
"He should have come back! I didn't think…," Fili whispered through trembling lips.
"No! You didn't! You should know better Fili! He's…" She trailed off, and Fili knew the word 'fragile' hung in the air. Dis moved quickly, grabbing her thick cloak and slipping on her boots.
"I'll get your uncle, we have to find him, in this downpour…," she began, once again unable to finish the sentence, but Fili knew exactly what she was implying. He pressed against the glass and looked out at the storm, watching as lightning flickered across the sky while rain fell heavily to the ground. Fili knew his brother could die if he had an attack. He punched the window in frustration. He'd promised to protect him! Fili pushed away in a rush and ran out the front door, leaving it swung open in his wake. He didn't bother to grab his cloak, and sprinted fast as he could through the puddles towards the nearby forest. He'd find his brother, before it was too late.
"Fili, wait!" Dis called out to him, but he was long gone.
As Kili travelled through the thick trees he remembered the first time Fili had taught him to shoot a bow. His mother hadn't wanted him to, hadn't wanted him to learn to fight at all, afraid that he was too weak for such things. But Fili knew better, and he brought Kili into the woods and showed him the proper way to hold a bow and aim. It hadn't taken long for Kili to pick it up, and instead of making him anxious it had the opposite effect. Kili found shooting his bow incredibly relaxing. By the time his mother found out he'd been so well practiced she couldn't do anything but accept the fact that her little boy was determined to learn to fight like a proper dwarf. Kili wished he had his bow with him now, to soothe his nerves and empty his mind.
He pushed thick branches out of his way, wincing slightly when they occasionally whipped back and scratched his face. Several times he tripped over his boot laces, until finally Kili collapsed in frustration on top of a pile of leaves on the ground. He picked at twigs and weeds, trying to do anything to ease his mind. His breath was coming a bit quicker than it should but he closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down. He was doing just fine until he felt drops of water fall onto his closed eyes. He opened them and looked up as a loud crack of thunder sounded from above. Kili stood in a hurry, determined to get home before it began to pour, but as he moved through the trees he became confused and disoriented. The forest was tall around him, and he knew not which way he'd come from. It was not long before it started to full on rain, and the thick drops drenched Kili to the bone. Lightning flashed repeatedly and the sky darkened to an intimidating grey. He whimpered and began to breathe unsteadily, taking in air with thick gasps. He coughed a few times as his heart stuttered and he began to panic.
Kili was running now, looking desperately for a way out of the trees. He was freezing and terrified, and his hair hung in thick wet ropes across his face. A loud crack of thunder shocked him and Kili stumbled over his loose boots and fell to the ground, his hands digging into the mud and leaves there. He sobbed as shivers wracked his body and his breathing turned quickly into choking as his lungs contracted in his chest. He struggled to take in air, any at all, but he was shaking and unable to focus. Kili's arms flailed on the ground and a strangled cry left his throat. He needed his brother! Where was his brother? His hands clawed at the ground as his chest began to spasm and Kili had never felt so afraid.
His vision faded as he wheezed, and a thick sheen covered his skin, as his body became hot with fever. He couldn't breathe! He was going to die! He vaguely heard a voice yelling from somewhere around him as he shook on the forest floor. Suddenly his body was wrenched up and strong cool hands pressed against his chest. He felt a body at his back and hair tickled at his ears. Someone was whispering in his ear and rubbing his chest. Fili. It had to be Fili. He continued gasping for air but slowly his shaking lessened and he could make out the words his brother spoke.
"Shh, Kili, I'm here, breathe with me, that's it, in and out," Fili hurriedly whispered and Kili coughed a few more times as he struggled to match his brother's breathing pattern. Tears mingled with raindrops on his face and he trembled in his brother's arms.
"F-fili, s-sorry," Kili choked as the words got caught in his throat. He felt his brother's hold on him tighten and thick fingers splaying across his belly.
"Hush, focus on breathing, you're okay, you're okay," Fili continued to speak and Kili felt his brother kiss along his hairline and at the back of his neck. He shivered at the touch, and felt incredibly cold, though his skin was on fire and his brow radiated with heat. He could hear other voices now, his uncle and mother's worried cries, and some of the other dwarves from the village. As his coughing lessened and his erratic breaths became more even Kili leant into his brother's embrace and looked up at him in exhaustion. Fili wore an expression Kili had never seen before as he stroked his hair, entangling his fingers through the dark wet locks. It was to that sight that Kili finally faded into sleep.
Fili sat beside his brother's side for days, monitoring his heart rate and ensuring his breathing was rhythmic and uninterrupted. He felt like an idiot. He never should have left his brother like that. It was his own fault and this time…this time he'd almost lost him for good. Kili had never had an attack quite so aggressive. Even that first one as a baby hadn't progressed quite so far, and he'd recovered from it quicker. Now Kili was bedridden with a severe fever and had been for days. The image of his brother struggling and grappling against the ground as coughs attacked his body flashed across Fili's mind. He hated himself for his childish actions and words. His mother was right, he was old enough to know better, and Fili knew that he'd never forgive himself if he let his brother die. Kili looked so pale lying on the bed before him, and Fili desperately wanted colour to fill his cheeks again, and preferably not from fever.
Fili grasped his brother's hand in his own and lifted it to place a kiss upon it. His fingers gently pressed across his brother's wrist as he thought on his foolishness. It took Kili's near death for Fili to realize it, but he loved him, more than anything. This time he wouldn't fail, this time he would protect Kili with his life, and if that meant never leaving his side, so be it. It was a small price to pay for the safety of the one he loved most.
Fili turned his head slightly as his mother entered the room with fresh glasses of water and a bowl of soup for Fili. She placed the tray on a side table then pulled up a chair to sit next to her sons.
"We are lucky," she began, and Fili nodded as he placed his brother's hand back on the bed.
"I've been thinking. Perhaps, it would be best if you two spent some time apart," Dis continued, and Fili turned his head to look at her with confusion.
"What? Why?" He gasped out and she inclined her head a bit.
"You…should not feel obligated to always be with him. It's not fair to you. You should be able to spend time with others your age. I'm sure we could arrange for Kili to spend a few days each week at home with me, or even with one of the healers from town," she finished.
"No!" Fili shouted at her, startling her a bit. He flushed slightly and lent back in his char.
"No, it's fine," he whispered, his fingers picking at his shirt before he looked over at his brother again.
"I don't want to spend time away from him. I won't leave him again, I promise," Fili said and he leant over his brother to push stray locks from his brow.
"Never again," he whispered and pressed a kiss to his nose. Dis watched the display with fondness in her eyes, knowing that Fili finally understood the bond he shared with his brother. She stood, patting her eldest son's shoulder before leaving the two on their own.
Kili woke in the middle of the night. For once his brother did not sit by his bed, though the chair remained there and Kili could tell it had recently been occupied. He sat up gingerly, his head still aching from the fever and he shuffled in the bed so his feet hung over the edge. He felt weak and useless. But mostly he felt guilty, for not listening to his brother, and for relying too much on him. It was time for him to grow up. He looked up when the door creaked open. His brother stood there in silence for a moment, eyes falling on his form.
"You're…awake," Fili stated slowly, and Kili nodded. The older brother took a deep breath and walked towards the bed, taking his place in the empty chair. He looked away from Kili, at the floor.
"I thought I lost you," Fili spoke gently and Kili bit his lip at the words. He pulled on his nightshirt, for the first time nervous in his brother's presence.
"Fili…I'm sorry," he gently said, shame clearly visible on his face. Fili looked at him then, his brow furrowed.
"I should have gone home," Kili continued and his eyes skittered away as he tangled his thumbs into the fabric in his hands. He heard the chair scrape against the ground and when he looked up Fili was directly in front of him, his blue eyes blazing as they looked upon Kili. He realized Fili looked exhausted. His face was drawn, his bronzed skin paler than normal, and he had dark bags under his eyes.
"No, I should have looked after you, I should have been there," Fili insisted. Kili tore his eyes away from his brother's gaze.
"You can't always be there. It's not fair to you. One day you won't want me hanging around. One day you'll marry, and I'll have to fend for myself," Kili started, dropping the shirt from his hands and clasping his fingers together.
"You deserve your own life," he finished, though his face was filled with sorrow at the words. The silence between them was painful for a few moments and Kili jumped when his brother grasped his hands in his own. When he looked back Fili watched him with that same unnameable emotion he'd seen in the forest.
"Who exactly do you think I'll marry if not you?" Fili queried and Kili gaped at him.
"M-Me?" Kili stuttered, surely his brother must have been joking. But Fili's eyes said otherwise, no, he was entirely serious as he spoke.
"You are my life; you are everything to me Kili," Fili stated with such conviction that a deep flush spread across Kili's face and down his neck.
"T-truly?" Kili asked, still a bit unsure that his brother was being serious. Fili looked at him for a moment before he stood from the chair and bent to press a kiss to his brother's lips. It was clumsy and a little hesitant, but Kili didn't notice. To him it felt incredible. He could feel Fili's scruff scratching against his still bare chin and his brother's warm soft lips as they moved against his own. His heart skipped for a different reason for once, though soon his breathing became a bit erratic and Fili pulled away gently to calm him.
"Shh…I won't have you nearly dying on me again. Especially not so soon," Fili spoke and he placed a hand gently on his brother's chest. His fingers stroked him slowly and Kili breathed in and out a few times before a magnificent smile lit up his face. Fili grinned back, overcome by the sight of his brother's joy, and he pulled Kili into his arms while he pressed a kiss in his hair. They held each other for some time, until a thought struck Kili's mind.
"What about mother?" Kili asked, pulling away suddenly, worry etched in his face. Fili just chuckled lightly and kissed his cheek.
"I think she already knows," he answered, and he climbed under the sheets to cuddle next to his brother on the bed. From that day on the two dwarves were completely inseparable, more so than ever before.
As the years passed Kili became more confident and stronger in both body and mind. His fits became less frequent, and he was able to learn everything that the other dwarf children did. Still Fili watched over him, and the two brothers spent nearly every waking, and sometimes sleeping, moment in each other's company. In particularly stressful moments Kili would have a serious attack, and whenever their kissing became a bit too involved his chest would begin to contract with the excitement. But Fili was there for him of course, and together they managed to keep the coughing at bay. Still Kili never forgot how terrified he'd been in the forest that day, and Fili never forgot the sight of his brother's struggle.
Eventually word began to spread that a journey was approaching. The dwarves of Erebor were planning to take back their home, with Thorin Oakenshield leading the quest. The lads waited for news on whether or not they would be included, although Kili had a suspicion that his mother and Thorin did not wish for him to leave home. He also knew that Thorin wanted to take Fili with him, as the future king and first in line for the throne after their uncle. Kili feared their separation. He loved Fili, with all his heart, and though the thought of joining the dwarves on their journey was compelling, mostly he just wanted to be with his brother, wherever that may be.
One evening Kili heard his uncle speaking with Fili in the kitchen, so he approached in the hallway, and kept hidden outside the room to listen.
"I'm sure you've heard that we plan to take back our home," Thorin began and Fili grunted in acknowledgement.
"You have grown into a strong dwarf my nephew. I am proud to have you as my heir. I would like you to come with me to the mountain," he continued, and Kili felt his heart sink.
"And what of Kili?" Fili spoke, and Kili was secretly happy that his brother's first thought was of him. He listened raptly to the rest of the conversation, his fingers clenched against a ridge in the wall behind him.
"Your mother and I feel it would not be a good idea for him to come on this quest," Thorin stated, his voice soft and wary.
"Why not? If I'm with him, he'll be fine. He hasn't had an attack in months, and the last serious one was more than a year ago. He's more than capable, trained in weaponry and fighting just like me. You've seen him shoot his bow! His talent is uncanny!" Fili spoke loudly, clearly doing his best to convince their uncle. Kili swallowed thickly, and bit his lip.
"It is true that Kili is well trained, and skilled with a bow. I would like for him to join us as well, but I still think it a bad idea. He may not have had an attack for some time, but it does not mean it cannot happen. I know he still has close calls. What if he has one in the middle of battle? I've seen how close he's come to death, and I would not wish it upon him again, or upon you," Thorin uttered. His voice sounded worried, and Kili knew that his uncle had a valid point. An attack very well could hit him during the quest. And sometimes his breath did start to come quicker. He knew that he'd not had a fit simply because he'd done his best to not get worked up enough for one to hit. Still, he wanted to go with his brother. And he wanted to prove himself to the other dwarves, especially to his uncle, but even more than that, to his brother.
"What if he has one and I'm not there? What then uncle?" Fili asked, and Kili realised he feared such an occurrence as well. The last time Fili hadn't been with him, he'd nearly died. He shivered at the memory of thunder cracking while he clawed against the dirty forest floor for air.
"I won't go without him," Fili continued.
"So either I stay here with him, or we both join you on this journey," Fili finished, more determined than ever. Kili could hear Thorin shifting in his seat, and a long drawn out sigh.
"Alright. I'll talk with your mother," he finally spoke, and Kili nearly squealed. He clasped his hands over his mouth to stop any noises from alerting to two dwarves to his presence.
"Thank you uncle," Fili finished, and the chairs scratched against the floor and Thorin left out the front door. Kili lent against the wall, a happy smile on his face. His brother always knew what to say. He'd be a great king one day. Kili looked up when he felt a thump next to his body.
"You were listening," Fili said, looking at his brother from around the doorway. Kili nodded sheepishly and the two brothers shared a smile.
"Thank you Fili, for convincing him," Kili said, turning his body towards his brother.
"I didn't realize you thought I was so talented," he continued. Fili raised an eyebrow and looked his brother over from head to toe before moving close to press him into the wall.
"You have many talents, dear brother," Fili spoke before he pressed their lips together in a heated kiss. Kili moaned against him, his mouth yielding to his brother's tongue. He could feel Fili's braids scratching against his face and neck and he twisted his fingers into the other's jerkin in response. Their bodies rocked against each other lightly, and Kili gasped when one of Fili's legs pressed between his own to rub against him. Their kissing quickened and became more desperate and Kili's breathing accelerated and caught in his throat. Suddenly Fili pulled away, settling a hand on his brother's chest and listening closely.
"Calm down brother," he whispered and Kili did his best to slow his breathing. It was true that Kili's breath was getting away from him, but his brother always pulled away before things got too heated, as though afraid that Kili would break. They pressed their brows together until Kili settled, and Fili placed one last soft peck upon his brother's lips.
"Come away, time for bed," he spoke, and the two walked with each other to their room.
In the end Dis had caved and allowed both brothers to go on the journey, but not before making the two dwarves promise to be careful. And she threw a few threats in Thorin's direction for safe measure. So the two brothers set out together towards the Shire. The trip began easily, Fili and Kili so happy to be around each other that they were constantly smiling and getting into mischief. Kili's troublemaking side easily rubbed off on Fili, and the two were pranking the rest of the company frequently, paying special attention to their burglar.
Everything went fairly smooth until the encounter with the trolls. Kili managed to keep himself from getting too worked up, though when he was wrapped up in a sack on the ground he began to panic slightly. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing in and out, as his brother always encouraged, and slowed his breathing until they were freed. Fili had checked on him of course, but Kili pretended all was well, and that his breathing was fine. He would not allow the others to see his weakness on the journey. He knew his brother wasn't convinced as he kept sending conspicuous and concerned glances in Kili's direction, but still the younger brother was determined to move on.
His plans were all for naught once the group began to cross the mountain pass. Kili hated thunderstorms. Each crack of thunder shook his body to the core, and he struggled not to panic just from the memories of his childhood. He was fine while his brother stood next to him, but then when they were separated, it was a different story altogether. Kili shook against the cold rocks and his breathing became more and more uneven. He was on the verge of coughing when someone dragged his body along behind them, and he curled into the rock wall he was placed against, struggling not to choke on air. The sounds of the storm covered any noises he made, and the rain camouflaged his tears. Still, Fili ran to him immediately after they were reunited, recognizing his struggle for what it was.
"Breathe," Fili whispered in his ear, as he wrapped an arm around Kili's shoulder.
"Breathe," he said once more, and Kili closed his eyes as his brother's brow pressed against his own. The rest of the company mistook it for a simple reunion between the brothers, however Thorin observed them curiously before turning to find a place to rest. Once in the relative safety of a cave Fili pulled his brother into a corner and pressed an ear to his chest.
"It's okay Fili, I'm fine," Kili whispered, though his voice was a bit shaky and his lips shook as he spoke.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me that brother," Fili insisted, gripping the bottom of Kili's chin and pulling his head down slightly. Kili couldn't speak, instead he shook his head, and Fili embraced him and did his best to stop the tremors that passed through his brother's body.
Kili found that the journey was proving far more difficult than he assumed it would be. He felt as though his heart rate was constantly accelerated, with all of the running and fighting they were doing. If not for his brother, Kili surely would have succumbed to an attack already. By the time they reached Beorn's home he was feeling particularly useless. It was like he was a child again, unable to even partake in a simple wrestling match without his breathing catching in his throat. All of his training, all of his determination was proving inadequate. He never should have come. The thought of being so far from his brother was the only thing that kept him moving on.
The worst of their journey came in the midst of Mirkwood. And though some might argue that Azog the defiler and his band of orcs were more terrifying than a group of snarky wood elves could ever be, Fili would always remember Thranduil's dungeons more vividly. He fought and scratched at the elf that held him as they separated him from his brother. They were thrown into cells, next to each other but walled off, so he was unable to view Kili at all. He could see Dwalin and Ori in cells across the way, and noted the youngest dwarf of the company looked just as lost, stuck in between the cement walls on his own.
The dwarves did not converse much, as guards were always near, and no one wanted to give any information away. They settled for tossing frustrated glances at those they could see, and eating the rubbish given to them by the elves. Fili had lost count of the days, but he knew he had not spoken nor seen his brother in far too long. He rested his back against the wall nearest his brother's cell, doing his best to listen to the sound of the other's movement. Usually he couldn't hear much at all. His brother rarely moved, his feet only occasionally making soft scuffing noises when he walked in his cell. However on this particular day Fili could hear something terrifying. His brother's breathing. It was raspy, and hoarse, and coming much faster than it should have. Fili turned to the side, moving to the bars facing the long hallway. He stopped, listening carefully.
"What is it lad?" Dwalin murmured at him from across the way. Fili held his hand up to stop him talking and continued to listen. Then he heard a soft cough, followed by several more, and his eyes widened in fright. Dwalin was watching him with narrowed eyes, and then the older dwarf glanced in the direction of Kili's cell. The coughing was coming more rapidly now, and Fili could hear small hitches in his brother's breath. This was not good, not good at all. He looked at Dwalin for confirmation.
"He doesn't look well," the older dwarf spoke, tightening a hand around the bars in front of him. Fili pushed himself against the bars of his cell, reaching an arm as far as he could, but to no avail.
"Kili? Kili!" He hissed.
"Can you hear me brother?" He asked, though there was no answer, other than an increased quickness in Kili's breathing pattern. By now Ori was standing and looking at Kili with wide eyes, and Dwalin knelt and watched him with and intense expression on his face. Fili heard something scrape across the floor and a sickening cry then he gasped as he heard his brother's body collapse to the cold stone with a thud.
"No! Brother!" Fili cried, pushing against the bars fiercely.
"Please Kili! You can do this! Breathe!" He was shouting now, unable to keep his voice down due to his worry. The guards had taken notice, and they approached from the sides curiously. Fili ignored them, continuing to shout at his brother, and he begged and pleaded with him to calm down, to breathe. It wasn't working, Kili was gasping and choking and all Fili could do was listen, unable to reach, and unable to see. The guards were pointing and talking in rushed voices and Fili turned to them, desperate for help.
"Let me see him!" he shouted at them, and the two guards looked at him and made no move to help. He could hear his brother's struggles continuing, and the other dwarves were shouting from the hall as well.
"Let me out! I can help him!" Fili screamed at them, his voice going horse from its sudden use. He wished he spoke their language; that he could plead with them in their own tongue.
"Please! Have mercy!" He begged, and he felt tears run down his face as his brother's breathing was hitching and the sounds of his movements slowed. Dwalin was shaking and doing his best to bend the bars of his cell, but even the great warrior could not move the elven metals. Ori cried in the background, not understanding what was happening, and Fili heard the shouts of the other dwarves from either side. As Kili made what seemed a final wheezing noise Fili gritted his teeth and raised his voice loud as he could manage.
"He'll die!" he shouted, the words echoing down the hall as the other dwarves stopped shouting. The elves looked at Fili in shock, then back to his brother, before taking action and releasing him from the cell and opening the other. He rushed to his brother's side pulling him to his chest and sliding his hands up under his thick cloaks.
"Kili! Kili! Please, oh Mahal, please, be okay," Fili stuttered. His brother's chest was still contracting, though no sounds came from his lips, and Fili rubbed aggressively and prayed for a miracle. Kili felt all too limp in his arms, head lolling forward, and hair dragging on the stone floor.
"Breathe, breathe, breathe," Fili whispered in his brother's ear. He heard a soft hitch as his brother took in air, and Fili sighed heavily and silently begged for Kili not to give up.
"That's it brother, you can do this. In…and out," he continued, pressing his face into the back of his brother's head. There were several coughs that followed and another quick intake of air.
"Come on, come on, come on," Fili chanted, doing his best to keep his own breathing steady so that Kili could match it. Soon his brother began to breathe deeply, and consistently, though the pattern was still uneven. Fili turned him on his back, laying his wilting body gently on the cold stone.
Kili's eyes were wide open with fright, and tears leaked from the corners and down his face. His skin was pale, his lips nearly colourless, and Fili noted with shock that he was burning up at a dangerously warm temperature. Raspy noises came from between his brother's parted lips, but he was breathing, and to Fili, it was the most glorious sound he'd ever heard. He stroked his brother's face with both hands and sobbed over his body. He felt a weak hand tighten at his side, and Fili grasped it between his fingers tightly. It was too close. Far too close. Worse even than that time in the forest. He remembered how sick his brother had been that time, even after, and knew that the fight was not over yet.
Mercifully the elves left him in the cell with his brother. Fili hovered over him constantly, pressing kisses to his brow and wiping the sweat from his face and body. He did his best to keep him warm, and watched over him as the fever worsened and his breathing remained unstable.
Several days later Bilbo Baggins appeared in front of the dwarves, scaring them half to death. He explained of a plan, to escape via barrels, and Fili listened raptly. He pulled away from his brother for the first time in days and beckoned the Hobbit closer to speak with him.
"How long is the river?" Fili asked him, and Bilbo shrugged.
"I can't be sure, all I can see clearly is the start of it, and all I know is that it goes to Lake-town," he said, glancing briefly at Kili in the cell.
"But you don't know how long they take to get there, the barrels," Fili continued and the Hobbit shook his head regretfully.
"And they are sealed, not big enough for two?" Fili pressed. Bilbo looked away and sighed heavily.
"No, only one of you will fit in a barrel, of that I am sure. And for some of you it may even be a stretch for one," he said, his face filled with worry. Fili rubbed at his beard. This was exactly what he feared.
"He may not make it," the dwarf spoke quietly, glancing back at his brother.
"He's still ill, the fever has not yet broken, and if he has another fit in the barrel…he will certainly die," Fili explained and Bilbo looked at him with concern.
"I'm sorry Fili, but there's no other way," he said and Fili nodded regretfully.
"Okay, then I shall pray," he said, and Bilbo patted his arm through the bars in comfort before putting his ring back on and slipping away.
When Bilbo released them from the cells, Fili carried his brother to the barrels, as he was still too weak to walk on his own. Kili's eyes were glazed over and Fili desperately wanted to do anything but seal his brother in a barrel and leave him to most likely die. Thorin glanced in his direction, looking upon his nephews for the first time in many days. Bilbo had spoken to him of Kili's state, but the sight of his nephew pale and sickly still shocked him greatly. Fili whispered soothing words into Kili's ear and kissed him, looking his brother in the eyes one last time before crawling into his own barrel and watching as it closed off above him.
The trip felt long, but Fili figured any trip would in such a small dark space with only the rocking of waves to comfort you. Water leaked through the cracks of his barrel and he struggled not to panic himself as the air became thick and difficult to breathe in. He rushed out of the barrel when it was opened, searching frantically for his brother's. Upon finding it Fili tore the top off and lifted his brother's soaking body gingerly from within. Kili's face was scrunched up, and he breathed heavily, but evenly and Fili sighed in relief.
"I'm okay," Kili whispered, as he weakly opened his eyes to look at his brother, and Fili grasped him to his chest in a tight hug. It was evident that Kili had endured a great mental struggle to survive the trip and Fili thanked Mahal repeatedly for watching over him on the journey. Thorin approached, hobbling slightly from disorientation.
"He had an attack while imprisoned?" the dwarf king questioned, kneeling next to his nephews.
"Yes," Fili said somberly. Thorin placed his hand on Kili's forehead, widening his eyes at the high temperature.
"A serious one?" he asked and Fili nodded and looked back at his brother.
"Among the worst I've seen," he spoke gently. Thorin frowned and silently cursed the Mirkwood elves before standing with purpose.
"Let us hurry and get him looked after then," Thorin spoke, and he ushered Fili to stand so they could continue towards an inn.
The village offered many comforts, and Fili was grateful for a soft bed in which to lay his brother. They could see the mountain not far off in the distance, but Thorin did not rush his company, instead waiting for each member to get some proper rest and food. They would have to be strong, and at their best before approaching a dragon.
Kili recovered quickly within the comfort of the inn, and under Fili's watchful eye. Oin and Dori had seen to him each day, offering their salves and medicinal knowledge. And on one evening Kili sat up and stretched, as though nothing had happened at all. Fili stared at him in wonder and sat beside his brother, watching as the memories seemed to catch up to him. Kili frowned and looked down at the thick blankets that covered his legs.
"They must all think me weak," he spoke softly, and looked down with shame. Fili's eyes widened at the statement.
"Don't be silly brother," Fili spoke, and he lifted a hand to push hair out of his brother's eyes.
"You're not weak, and none of the other dwarves think you are either. We're all just grateful you're alive," he insisted, and pulled Kili's chin to look in his eyes. His brother scoffed and rolled his eyes and Fili grinned at the familiar expression.
"You forget how many orcs and goblins you've slain on this journey, how many lives you've already saved," Fili continued, and Kili looked at him then with a small smile.
"That's right I suppose," Kili agreed, his smile slowly turning into a mischievous grin.
"I am the finest archer amongst our race!" He boasted, a familiar happiness back in his features.
"A truer statement has never been spoken," Fili grinned at his brother, glad to see humor return to his eyes, and then he stood and pushed Kili gently back down on the bed.
"Fili?" Kili asked softly as Fili pushed the sheets away and moved to lay across his body. Fili maneuvered between his brother's legs and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. A healthy flush appeared on Kili's face and Fili smiled fondly at him before unlacing his brother's shirt and pushing it away from his torso. He kissed at his brother's collar bone then placed an ear over his chest, listening for the soft rhythmic sound of its beating.
"I used to do this when you were a baby, Kili. Just stop and listen to your heart…make sure it was beating steadily. You know, you had your first attack when you were less than a week old. And I spoke to your heart and it stopped. Mother was so worried, but you listened to me, your heart listened to me," Fili spoke with his eyes closed, comforted by the soft rise and fall of his brother's chest.
"I know, mother told me once, that you were so composed, so sure you could stop it," Kili said tenderly and Fili shifted and looked up at him quickly.
"That's not entirely true. I was terrified. I honestly thought that I would lose my little brother before I had even properly met him. I promised mother and uncle that I would protect you. So many times I've failed," Fili's voice broke slightly and his arms shook on either side of Kili.
"You haven't failed me brother, you've always been there," the younger dwarf insisted, and reached out a hand to touch his brother's face. Fili leant into the touch and looked his brother in the eye.
"I thought for sure you would die in those dungeons Kili, " he said, his voice low and dangerous.
"Brother…," Kili began, but Fili lifted his body and hovered over him with an intense look and the words caught in the younger dwarf's throat.
"Do you have any idea what I felt, listening to you choke and gasp, unable to reach you, but knowing you needed me. It was agonizing. When I heard your body fall…oh Kili," Fili shook his head as tears began to leak from his eyes, and Kili reached both his hands up to touch his brother's face.
"Fili, it's alright, I'm here, and okay, you saved me," he said as he wiped tears from under Fili's eyes.
"Barely. Oh Mahal, I was so desperate," Fili whispered and Kili closed his eyes at the memory.
"I heard you screaming," Kili said and bit his lip. Fili lowered his body slightly, so that his lips touched Kili's ear.
"Remember that day in the forest brother?" he questioned and felt as the other's head nodded slightly.
"Of course," Kili gasped out.
"I vowed to myself to never let that happen again, and I failed. I'm so sorry my brother," Fili lamented, as though pleading for forgiveness.
"It wasn't your fault Fili," Kili asserted, turning his head to place a kiss on his brother's chin. Fili turned as well, and their lips met, sliding over each other as though they'd never been apart. The brothers kissed and nipped at each other until eventually Fili broke away to kiss at his brother's neck. Kili gasped and began breathing faster as Fili placed soft chaste kisses in a trail down his chest, pushing the remains of the shirt away from the younger dwarf's shoulders in his wake. But when Kili's breath hitched slightly, Fili pulled completely away, waiting for his brother to calm down. Kili swallowed and looked up at Fili with imploring eyes.
"Please Fili, make love to me," he begged, and Fili's eyes widened slightly.
"Kili…we shouldn't," the older dwarf spoke as he gently rubbed a hand up and down his brother's chest. Kili groaned slightly and frowned at his brother.
"I won't break! What if…what if we die in the mountain, what if you die and I am left here alone, never having felt your flesh within me," Kili hissed, his brow scrunching as he looked gravely at his brother. Fili's eyes hardened and he licked his lips while he gazed upon the other dwarf.
"Don't say such things brother, we're not going to die," Fili said, his voice barely audible as his eyes heatedly looked upon the other dwarf. Kili gripped his fingers into his brother's jerkin and pulled him closer, so their lips were just an inch from each other.
"Please," he begged once more and this time it was Fili whom swallowed nervously.
"You tempt me so," the older dwarf said, eyeing his brother lustily. They looked upon each other's faces for a few more moments before Fili made a decision and moved to kiss his brother. He was slow and gentle, moving once again down the length of Kili's body until he reached the laces of his brother's breeches. He untied them swiftly, and touched lightly at the other's waist.
"Lift your hips," Fili spoke, and Kili did, his breathing quickening as his brother slid the garment down and off his legs. The two brothers had embraced one another frequently, but rarely without the cover of clothing and Kili struggled to stay calm when Fili moved to press between his legs. The older dwarf moved a hand between the opening in Kili's shirt, rubbing softly at the other's chest as he watched his brother. He ran the fingers of his other hand under the back of one of Kili's thighs, then gripped it firmly and pulled it to the side. Kili gasped at the action and willed his heart rate to slow. He could tell his brother was eyeing him carefully and Kili was determined to keep going, determined to have his brother inside him.
Fili gazed at Kili for a bit, his eyes moving across his form and landing between his legs. It was a wonder they had waited so long to do this. In that moment Fili could not understand how he had ever resisted his brother. He brought his fingers up to graze across the other's entrance before he moved forwards and lifted a jar of Oin's calming salve from the bedside table. Kili watched as his brother coated his fingers in the oily substance and brought them down to trace his rear. The younger dwarf flinched at the cool touch but calmed when he met his brother's piercing blue eyes. Fili would never hurt him, he knew that much, and his body relaxed as a finger probed at him and slipped inside. It was a strange feeling, but Kili did not dislike it, and he spread his legs wider invitingly. Fili moved his finger slowly, eyes never leaving his brother's, and then when he was satisfied by the look on Kili's face he slipped a second finger in beside the first.
Kili groaned at the feeling and his back arched slightly, his breathing coming in quick short gasps. He felt his brother's hand soothingly rubbing at his chest and focused once again on staying calm. Kili noticed when his brother's hand left his chest briefly to unlace his own breeches and release his thick arousal. A deep flush covered Kili's face and neck, and he felt himself grow even more excited at the sight. In no time at all Fili's hand was back and rubbing across his skin, and the fingers on his other slipped from his slick entrance. Fili pressed up against his hole before gradually pushing inside the tight ring of muscle. Kili moaned, and his breath caught in his throat, but Fili bent forwards to whisper in his ear.
"It's okay, stay calm," Fili said, and Kili reached his hands up to grip his brother's hair, pulling their faces together to kiss. They moved against each other languidly, Fili doing his best to keep a slow and steady rhythm while Kili focused on staying composed. It was a difficult task for the younger dwarf, as his brother's thickness pressed at all the right places and he wanted nothing more than to rut against the other wildly. But thankfully Fili's hand steadied him and kept him from doing so. Kili could hear his brother's breaths coming in heavy pants and he felt the warm air ghosting across his face and neck. Fili's pace quickened slightly and with it Kili's excitement grew. There was a very slight pause in the older dwarf's movement at the sound of Kili's unsteady breathing but Kili was desperate to continue.
"Don't stop," he whispered heatedly and thrust against his brother gently to encourage his faster pace.
"As if I could now," Fili said before thrusting back in hard and moving quickly within his brother. Kili struggled briefly, fighting to get air in his lungs and he felt the other dwarf wrap a hand around his straining arousal.
"Slow breaths, that's it," Fili whispered in his ear, and Kili did his best to focus on the words. His mind was unusually blank and his eyes were wide with pleasure.
"Come for me brother," Fili ordered, and Kili groaned and jerked up against his brother in a flash.
"Nngh!" He shouted, but the words got jumbled in his throat as he spent himself between their bodies. Fili groaned loudly, gripping Kili's hips with both hands as he thrust quicker into his brother's form. He found his release not long after, spilling inside Kili as his fingers tightened and made bruising marks in his brother's skin. He collapsed against Kili, laying his head just above his heart again. He didn't move until the beating slowed and Fili was sure his brother was alright. Kili felt the other dwarf's arousal soften and slip from him, and he groaned lightly as his brother's seed leaked from his body.
"Incredible," Fili spoke and lifted his body to settle next to his brother's on the bed. He ran fingers across Kili's sweat covered brow, and pushed his dark hair away from his face. Kili smiled wistfully and turned to look at him with droopy eyes.
"See brother, I'm still in one piece, physically at least," Kili slurred and Fili chuckled lightly. The older dwarf brought his hand around behind his brother's neck, pulling their lips together to kiss lovingly. There were no soft declarations of love, as the two dwarves already knew how strongly they felt for one another. They looked at each other fondly and kissed occasionally, then fell asleep not long after, tangled up in each other's arms.
The siege upon the mountain did not go exactly as intended, much in the same way the rest of their journey had not. However, they had the mountain back and they were rid of the dragon which was one positive side of things. Unfortunately several armies were nearly knocking at their doors. The dwarves readied for battle, determined to defend their home and wealth until their last dying breaths.
Although the dwarves were stubborn, mixed feelings were visible upon the faces of many, none so much as their king and leader Thorin Oakenshield. Fili and Kili's uncle did his best to stand steadfast and unwavering, but already regret at his harsh words towards the company's burglar was beginning to wash over his features, and the two brothers hoped dearly that they would have a chance to reconcile. The dwarf king glanced at his nephews occasionally, heart filled with turmoil at condemning them to fight by his side. The other dwarves worried about their own brothers and friends, hoping against all odds that they would all make it out of this miraculously alive.
Fili gazed at his brother with worry in his eyes, concerned mainly for the other's welfare. He wanted nothing more than to take Kili far away from the impending battle, to hide him and keep him safe. But Kili was determined to fight and prove himself, and Fili would never do anything to hold his beloved back. They stood with their brows pressed together moments before the battle began.
"Stay with me brother," Fili whispered as his hand trailed down the other dwarf's chin. The scruff there scratched at his fingers, and Fili remembered fondly when his brother's beard first began to grow in. Kili's eyes moved to look into the other dwarf's, though he made no promise to him as it would most likely be impossible to keep in the chaos of a great fight. It was enough for Fili to see the love in his brother's eyes and the intense will to stay alive.
When the battle began the dwarves were split quickly, and Fili immediately mourned the loss of his brother's presence by his side. He fought diligently and fiercely, sparing no opponent, as the more he killed, the less there would be to harm his brother. He battled close by Thorin, doing his best to defend his king and keep himself alive in the process. However the battle soon became thick with orcs and goblins, and exhaustion began to set in.
Kili skidded through the fields, pausing occasionally to send well placed arrows into the heads and hearts of their opponents. It was soon clear that men, elves, and dwarves had formed a tentative alliance, swapping focus to slay the bloodthirsty army of orcs upon them. Kili had never done quite so much running in his life and his breathing was heavy, filled with the thick rasping of unleashed coughs. He would not allow his illness to control him, not in the midst of this battle, not when the lives of his kin were at stake. He allowed his bow to soothe him, concentrating on shooting swiftly and surely, and made his way around the battlefield, focusing mainly on helping others who were struggling.
He fired an arrow through the eye of an orc that was besting an elf, and received a relieved look of thanks for it. Blood spattered across the field in front of him as he turned to continue fighting. He slipped in the mud and fell to the ground as a body tackled him from the side. Kili coughed violently as his body hit the hard ground and he gasped in shock when a goblin appeared above him, its blade glinting as it was readied to lower. A confused expression washed over the creature's face and it hobbled before falling to the ground. Kili watched as an invisible blade was pulled from its back and tiny footprints appeared in a trail moving away from him. Kili sighed in relief. The hobbit had saved his life, and stayed to fight, even after the words Thorin had spoken. He would never forget the deed.
Kili stood carefully, still hacking lightly as he began to run further into battle. He had a fierce desire to find his brother and fight beside him and he searched the muddy warzone quickly. He spotted Fili, fighting with their uncle, surrounded by orcs on all sides. They looked overpowered, and exhausted, and he desperately wanted to help. Kili aimed an arrow, taking his time to make sure he would not hit his brother and watched as it released and pierced the neck of a goblin at Fili's back. His brother fought on, and Kili ran to get closer when his breathing hitched violently and he began gasping for air. No! He couldn't let his illness best him, not then, not with his brother in sight, and the battle not yet won. He stood shakily, wheezing a bit as he placed a hand on his own chest and thought of Fili. He imagined his brother standing near, and breathing into his ears, then did his best to slow his breathing and match the imaginary pace. He settled enough that he could move forwards, and he charged, not stopping until he reached his brother's side. He shot an arrow quickly at an orc upon his uncle then hurled his body into another targeting his brother. They fell to the ground in a pile, wrestling for dominance, until the orc managed to grasp Kili's neck, strangling him, as he pushed the dwarf into the dirt. Kili groaned and his chest constricted again. He struggled against the body atop his and against his own lungs, as he flailed his arms against the disgusting creature. The orc pushed his blade into Kili's side, drawing blood and the young dwarf howled and felt adrenaline fill him.
"No!" He shouted hoarsely, pushing the creature off him as he pulled a dagger from around his thigh. He swung it down hard into the orc's chest, and twisted it around until he was sure he'd killed it. Kili dug a hand into the ground and wheezed heavily for a moment, but he managed to will away the oncoming fit and opened his eyes to the battle around him. He took up his bow, shooting from where he knelt on the ground, and watched with awe as eagles flew over the fields attacking the remainder of the orc army ferociously. The battle was won, and the orcs began their retreat, overpowered by the four armies that opposed them. Kili fell back to the ground, completely exhausted, his breathing raspy but stable.
"Kili! Kili!" Fili shouted, and his body appeared above Kili's, looking upon him with worried eyes. Kili smiled up at him with bloody teeth and laughed lightly. Fili ran his hands down his brother's side and lifted his torso gently from the ground.
"You're bleeding!" he shouted, disregarding the fact that his own frame was covered in thick gashes and bruises, red stains running across his face and armor. Kili hoped much of it was the blood of foes.
"It's alright, I'm fine. I did it Fili, I did it. I fought off the illness," Kili whispered, and Fili pulled him close, clutching him tight as can be.
"You're so strong brother, I'm so proud of you," Fili spoke gently before kissing the other gently and entangling his fingers in his brother's mud soaked hair. He listened briefly to the other's breathing, noting how hoarse it was and pulled back to look Kili in the eye.
"Best not to risk it too often," Fili said as he looked over his brother's form again.
"Yeah," Kili answered, unwilling to argue at the time.
"And never, under any circumstance do you do something rash without me there, understand?" Fili insisted, looking once more into his brother's eyes.
"Got it," Kili laughed with a cough and Fili pulled him in for another kiss as the rest of the company gathered around to reunite.
The battle was won, and Erebor reclaimed though much work was left in the aftermath. The men, dwarves, and elves that were able, cleaned the messy fields, searching for bodies, and organizing proper burials. Thorin looked unrelentingly for a particular hobbit on the blood soaked grounds, though there had been no sight of the company's burglar yet. Many claimed they had been saved by the small invisible being, and Kili told his uncle the story of his own rescue. Thorin seemed determined to apologize, and even Fili had shown interest in thanking Bilbo for saving his brother's life. Gandalf seemed unworried, and assured the dwarves that all was well, confirming that every member of the company had indeed survived, that Bilbo would show himself in due time.
Several days after the battle, Kili found himself lying in bed, his brother sitting next to him on the mattress. It was a familiar situation, one they had both been in far too many times during their lives, though on this occasion their spirits were lighter, and the bed rest was for a different reason.
"It's not fair brother. I manage to evade fever and my fits, but here I am holed up in bed because of a common cold!" Kili moaned at his brother as snot ran from his nose and Fili chuckled, running a cool hand over the other's brow.
"Even a cold can be dangerous for you Kili," Fili insisted, his eyes glancing worriedly towards Kili's heart and back up again.
"I know," Kili replied, though he pouted and crossed his arms.
"I just want to help is all," he whispered, thinking of the many lives that were lost to take back their home.
"You've helped plenty. You were brave in battle brother, everyone knows of how you fought courageously to the front lines to protect the King of Erebor and his heir. The tales the townswomen tell of you are quite embellished," Fili said with a smirk, his eyebrow rising impishly.
"It's nothing compared to the stories of you Fili. A dwarf like a lion, they say, roaring into battle by his King's side, fighting off ten or twenty orcs at a time!" Kili spoke, his arms gesturing wildly at his sides. Fili laughed heartily, his eyes sparkling with humor.
"All the same, you will be remembered and loved by our people for years to come, because of your bravery and not your illness," Fili assured his brother. He watched as Kili's eyes began to droop with fatigue and moved to pull the blankets up and over his shoulders.
"Mother will be here in a few days, and she'll want to see you well. We wouldn't want to see her wrath upon our uncle now would we?" Fili questioned, and Kili opened his eyes wide with horror at the thought of an angry Dis, her fury spreading over the gates of the mountain.
"I'll watch over you, get some rest," Fili said, lulling his brother into sleep, and as so many times before, rubbing gentle soothing patterns into his chest. Despite the recent loss in the battle, much had been accomplished for the dwarves of Erebor, especially the two brothers. An entirely new chapter of their life together was about to begin.