"Devonian Rhapsody"
by Raquel, Meg, and Sasha, avid members of the Finny Fan Club
TO BE SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY"
FINNY: Is this the real life?
Is this just A Separate Peace?
Caught in a landslide, now I'm falling out of a tree
Open my eyes, look up to the skies and see…
I'm just a poor boy,
My name is Finny
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Always high, never low
Any way the wind blows, it's all the fat old me to me
To me…
GENE: Leper…you're such a wimp…
You better jump out of that tree
Watch some beavers, learn to ski
Brinker…you have got to go
Gotta leave this school behind and join the war
Finny, ooo ooo ooo
Didn't mean to shake the limb
If you're not back again before September
I will get a new friend
Doesn't really matter…
Too late, the war has come
FINNY: We don't have any maids.
GENE: Pick some apples, then get paid.
BRINKER: Goodbye, everybody
We've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and join the draft…
GENE: Finny, ooo ooo ooo
I don't wanna leave
I'd rather stay behind and train with you.
LEPER: I saw two silhouettes in the tree
THE BOYS: Who pushed who? Who pushed who?
LEPER: I'm too insane to tell you.
GENE: Leper is just lying,
You guys can't be buying this!
THE BOYS: Dr Stanpole! Dr. Stanpole!
Dr. Stanpole! Dr. Stanpole!
Dr. Stanpole! Will Finny be okaaaaay…?
FINNY: I'm just a poor boy, Gene really hates me.
THE BOYS: He's just a poor boy from a rich family!
Spare Finny's life from Gene's jealousy!
GENE: Easy come, easy go, are you still angry?
FINNY: Of course I am! I will not forgive you.
THE BOYS: Forgive him!
FINNY: Of course I am! I will not forgive you.
THE BOYS: Forgive him!
FINNY: Will not forgive you.
THE BOYS: Forgive him!
FINNY: Will not forgive you.
THE BOYS: Forgive him!
FINNY: Will not forgive yoooouuuu…
No no no no no no no!
GENE: Oh Phineas oh Phineas!
Phineas why did you die?
FINNY: The bone marrow has always had it in for me…
For me…
For meeeeeeeeee!
BRINKER'S DAD: So you avoid the front lines, you scaredy cat!
So you just join the Coast Guard and leave it at that?
Oh, Brinker, can't do this to me, Brinker
Why won't you fight, why won't you fight like a man?
RAQUEL, MEG, AND SASHA: Nothing really matters, anyone can see…
Even when he's dead
Finny is still such a bishie…
FINNY: Let's go play some blitzball…