Omg, a KH fic from Saf that's not part of her chaptered fic? Be still my heart...
No, but seriously, 358/2 Days inspired me to write this fic. I haven't written from Roxas' viewpoint in a little while, and I've never written Xion before, and I wrote the first half of this in my creative writing class, so please, please bear with me if there's any OOC at all from either of them. Also, I kept the timeline vague on purpose because I couldn't remember exactly when this happened in-game. If somebody could give me an idea of when Saix called her useless/broken/empty/REPLICAAAA in-game, I would love them forever.
Also: fic's real title is Hero/Heroine. The title wouldn't let me put the backslash in there, so it's staying that way.
That being said, let's get on with it!
Disclaimer- I don't own Kingdom Hearts... which means I don't own Roxas, Riku, or Sora... damn. I also don't own the song "Hero/Heroine," for which this fic is named. That song belongs to Boys Like Girls.
Roxas thought the next time Saïx referred to Xion as an "empty tool," he was going to have to take it upon himself to fulfill the "mission" of delivering a swift hit with the Keyblade to Number VII's face.
Well, no. If possible, the dark look on Roxas' face intensified, due to the newly-born frown that furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes. Maybe the face wasn't the exact place to hit the Luna Diviner. Axel had told Roxas that a blow to a certain area on the bottom half of most of the Organization's robes would render said Nobody immobile. He'd left out Xion, though; it had taken Roxas a humiliatingly long time – most of the ensuing mission in Agrabah, in fact – to figure out why. Axel had been smirking in his typically blasé way as he'd imparted that little piece of knowledge, though, so Roxas didn't know whether he should entirely trust the redhead's words.
That, and he didn't particularly want to stare at Saïx long enough to find that allegedly male groin to enact punishment on in the first place. The very thought sent a shudder of revulsion down Roxas' spine.
So, the face it is, Roxas thought.
He pushed the door to his room open and allowed a few of the furious sentiments percolating in his mind with all the force and anger of a dark storm cloud to escape from him into his room. Most of those sentiments involved rather creative ways to punish Saïx for what he'd said. And yet Roxas had to speak quietly, due to the fact that any of the other Organization members could still be sitting outside on the couches in the Grey Area.
Never mind that, though... Xion was his friend. And just because she'd taken a while to summon her Keyblade (Roxas thought he'd gotten pretty lucky in the short time he'd taken to learn the exact amount of concentration it took to bring forth his own weapon, but for some reason it came easily to him), just because she'd been all but catatonic those first couple of weeks (he'd acted the exact same way during his first week in the Organization, and now the Organization valued him as a collector of hearts), Saïx thought he had the right to call Xion useless? Xion, in so many ways, was exactly like Roxas; the similarity struck a nostalgic and oddly longing chord within him: they both wielded Keyblades; they both seemed so familiar to the other, as Xion had told him one day.
So why shouldn't Saïx treat Xion exactly the same as he did Roxas?
Finding no relief from his newfound animosity in thinking of Saïx's bloodied nose as the result of his Keyblade's assault, Roxas huffed as he made his way over to his bed and promptly flopped down on top of it, not even bothering to shut the door behind him in his ire. Spiked, honey-colored hair twitched as he ran his fingers through it, only for his bangs to fall back into their previous position over his forehead again. Blue eyes closed and he forced himself to take a few deep, calming breaths. At least Xemnas kept the rooms that belonged to the Organization members a perfect seventy-three degrees, so Roxas wasn't breathing in air that was too stuffy or too icy.
Roxas' eyes squeezed even more tightly shut. Gods, but he hated it – the day-in-and-day-out missions, the patronizing way some of the senior Nobodies treated him, the Heartless collecting, the fact that the others only thought of him as a tool for gathering hearts... Saïx treating Xion like crap whenever she didn't do things exactly the way they wanted her to...
Even this, the deceptively perfect air-conditioning of the rooms, served to incense Roxas even more.
"Roxas?"
Roxas nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of his name. His eyes flew open, and he shot up in his bed, fully ready to summon his Keyblade and take out whoever dared barge in when he felt nearly consumed by anger.
Then his sapphire eyes met hesitant, dark-framed violet ones, and his anger evaporated almost at once, dying down to only a barely-tangible simmer, at the sight of the person who had spoken his name rather tentatively.
"Xion?" he blurted out, stumbling over the name despite himself.
Sure enough, Number XIV of the Organization stood in the doorway (oh yeah, Roxas belatedly realized, forgot to close the door), looking hesitant as she placed one hand on the doorframe. Her eyes stared into his for all of about half a second before she dropped her gaze to the eternal off-white of the floor. "Sorry," she murmured. "I should've knocked, but the door was already open."
She leveled her eyes to meet his again – not without a bit of effort, Roxas noticed, almost like she was steeling herself to do so; a tiny smile twitched at his lips at the fact that Xion would never let herself become too shy around him. Because of this, it took him a moment to realize that she was tacitly asking him if she could come in.
"Oh!" he said, blinking. "Um, no, it's fine. Come on in." He punctuated this last remark by letting the smile that had almost taken over his countenance appear on his face.
The sight of Roxas' approval seemed to have a relaxing effect on Xion, for she returned the smile, albeit awkwardly, and crossed the threshold. To his surprise, she turned at the last moment and pushed the door closed behind her.
He shifted his gaze from the door to her, and his surprise only grew when he saw the expression on her face: oddly shy (which was weird, because he and Axel were probably the only ones in the Organization she didn't act like a zombie around), nervous (again, he wondered why she should feel that way when she was comfortable with him), and... strangely proud.
"What's wrong, Xion?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.
Xion started, as though he'd just stirred her from a reverie of her own, then averted her eyes to a particularly interesting spot on the floor.
Seeing her milling awkwardly about there, Roxas felt a surge of sympathy. Here she was, having just been basically tossed aside by Saïx, and the Key of Destiny was just sitting there watching as she...
Saïx...
Oh.
The reason why Xion had shown up hit Roxas then, with the force of a Heartless' blow to the side of his head, and Roxas suddenly wanted to imitate that Heartless attacking his head with his own fist, so powerful was his newfound feeling of self-reprimanding. All things considered, the reason why she had come to him should have come easily to him.
Then again, considering how anger had all but inundated his senses earlier, he supposed he might have an excuse.
"Roxas?" Xion asked tentatively, and Roxas abruptly realized he'd just expressed half the emotions he was feeling on his countenance. Well done, Roxas, the Axel-like voice in the back of his mind mocked. We don't have hearts, remember? Lemme pull a Saïx here: Emotions bad.
Mentally shoving Axel aside and telling him to shut up, Roxas shook his head and gave a smile, albeit a slightly strained one. Because when he thought about what Xion must feel right now, the comforting effect he tried to put into his expression faded just a bit in favor of powerful empathy. "It's nothing," he said. He scooted a little ways over on his bed and patted the sheets next to him (he really needed to make his bed later today, he noted with a faint twinge of embarrassment). "Sit down. There's room for two."
Xion blinked – and was it just him, or did the slightest hint of red dust her face at his words? – but nonetheless nodded, looking a bit less nervous, and made her way over to the bed. As she sat down next to him, Roxas took a deep breath and looked right into her eyes; he knew how uncomfortable it must make her, but he also knew eye contact was necessary. "So," he began, "what's the matter?"
He had half-expected her response, but it still shook him a little to see her avert her eyes. A barely-audible mutter of "you know what" filled the air, spoken so softly that Roxas had to strain to hear it, and upon catching those words, his shoulders slumped in a tiny sigh. The question had been an obligatory one, but nonetheless, he felt more like an idiot than ever before at hearing her words.
"Saïx, right?" he dared to ask, hating himself for making Xion feel this uncomfortable. Still, though, the desire to make sure she knew the falseness of Saïx's derogatory comments about her pushed Roxas onward. Inside, part of him was shaking him furiously and demanding what exactly he thought he was doing, why exactly he thought he could keep pushing his friend when she obviously didn't want to be pushed – but the majority of his very being was nodding in sympathy for her and wanting only to reassure Xion. She was his friend, after all.
Oh, really? Axel teased in the back of his mind. Roxas tried not to let the frown that Number VIII's permanent existence in the back of his mind induced show on his face.
Xion only nodded, still refusing to meet his eyes.
Silence reigned between them for a few more moments, during which Roxas tried frantically to think of what to say to fill said silence and palliate the insecurity that undoubtedly now plagued Xion. He opened his mouth – to do what, he suddenly wondered; spout out something stupid that undoubtedly wouldn't soothe her at all? – only to close it again and stare at the haphazardly-arranged sheets that were still on his bed, trying to find inspiration to comfort her through the blinding whiteness of the thin blankets.
But Xion beat him to it, and the self-deprecating quality to her voice shocked him so much that he lifted his head to stare at her.
"He's right, isn't he?" she murmured, so softly Roxas had to strain to hear her. A startled murmur escaped him when he did hear her words. Instinctively, furiously, he shook his head, his search for the right words to reassure her born anew, his mouth already open in an attempt to refute her words – but Xion pushed on, sounding as though she would suffer if she didn't push this burden off her shoulders now. "I mean, remember when we were at Beast's Castle, and you had to lend me your Keyblade because I couldn't summon my own?"
Roxas blinked, startled into silence; shame prickled across his back when it hit him that that day was, indeed, evidence against her. He mentally shook it off, though; that hadn't meant anything – the fact that they'd finished the mission that day (and succeeded in getting Xion to summon her Keyblade, no less) had been enough for him.
But not for Xion, apparently, he thought.
Xion continued, ignoring his expression of surprise as though he hadn't done anything, her fingers tightening around the sheets in a grip so tight Roxas could see her nerves straining through the black gloves she wore, almost as though by distracting herself with the pain in her knuckles, she could avoid thinking about the real problem that was plaguing her. "And that first week, I couldn't do anything at all, remember? I just followed you around and shot fire at those poison plants when one of them came toward me –"
"That was a long time ago," Roxas cut in, finding the strength to get past his surprised silence. He narrowed his eyes. "And at least you did anything at all," he added, knowing he sounded half-hearted.
His words, like his prior reaction to her own despondence, went all but unnoticed; a flicker of her eyes toward him at the sound of his interruption was her only reaction to his attempt to defend her, but just as quickly as the acknowledgment of his support had arrived it had vanished in favor of her previous self-hatred. "And when they assigned me to take out that Organization imposter…" she cut herself off abruptly and lifted her head to stare out the window at the heart-shaped moon, clearly desperate to look at anything but her fellow Keybearer.
Roxas winced at the memory of when she had returned from that ill-fated mission; she had made her appearance at the clock tower that day, sure, with a false smile masking the shadow her failure put over her, but not even Xion, a Nobody, one of the masters at "faking" emotion could disguise that shadow forever.
"There was nothing you could've done about that," he pointed out, lowering his voice. Somehow, he felt that if he tried to address her the way he had earlier, it would only mire her even deeper in her sorrows. "He… he was just stronger, that's all," he finished rather pathetically.
"That's the problem!" Xion's outburst made Roxas jolt a little in surprise as Number XIV whipped her head back toward him.
Was it just him, or did her eyes glitter just a bit as they caught the light cast by both the whiteness of the room and the moon outside?
"I should be strong enough by now," she went on, and the raw pain in her voice made the breath catch in Roxas' throat. He was sure that if he had a heart, it would be twinging in sympathy for her right now.
(Or… didn't he already feel that anyway?)
He shook those confusing thoughts aside as Xion continued, her voice rising to a desperate, shaky crescendo. "I've been in the Organization almost as long as you have, and I'm still messing up all the important missions. Saïx was right when he called me useless!"
Her breath came in harsh, jagged rasps as she finished, as though just letting those words flow forth from her, though they had poured out of her so easily, created a physical strain on her. And, staring into her darkened eyes, Roxas suddenly realized what made them shine the way they were right now.
Without hesitation, without thinking about the implications of what he was doing, he stretched out an arm toward her and put it on her shoulder before she could move away in a show of stubbornness; her entire body did jerk back a little before he stopped that movement in its tracks. The way she was staring at him now, chest heaving and mouth hanging slightly open in her attempt to get her breath back, unnerved him just a bit, but he succeeded in pushing that aside and saying what he needed to say.
"Saïx is wrong," Roxas insisted, his voice so quiet in discord with Xion's previous volume that it cast an eerie aura about the room which had previously reverberated with her protests. "Things just take a little time, that's all. And besides…" He smiled, causing Xion to give a small start in response. "You're my and Axel's friend. A friend has value to someone."
She continued to watch him, that look from before – when she had glanced very briefly at him to show that she recognized his support of her – returning to her face, along with the wary expression of a wild animal being approached by a stranger.
(And for some reason, the sight of her eyeing him like that sent another shudder through Roxas, and her eyes had never seemed like such a dark shade of violet before, and then the breath caught in his throat and nothing could escape those confines, and it was odd, because earlier he'd been ready to spit fire at the thought of what Saïx had dared to say to her, and yet now that memory choked him with a different emotion entirely –)
Then an arm was reaching forward and wrapping itself around Xion's shoulders, and Roxas had to glance around in bewilderment before realizing that arm belonged to him. Well, he reflected, it was only natural that he should give that gesture of comfort, because Axel did that to Roxas all the time whenever the blond felt irritated or depressed about the outcome of a mission, and Xion was Roxas' friend too, so that gesture between friends should –
Roxas nearly fell backward onto the bed in shock, his arms immediately sweeping out to keep him from doing so, when a dark blur assailed his vision and Xion was holding onto him and making these little animal hiccupping noises that he could feel more than hear and… what was that, wetness soaking into his chest?
Yet, despite the heat moving its way up his spine and into his cheeks (why was he blushing? he wondered vaguely, and the Axel-voice made a comeback to taunt him about Xion's relationship with him one more time before receding), despite the oddity of the situation (Xion's stubbornness and pride normally wouldn't let her do this, after all), Roxas found himself relaxing. He braced one arm against the bed for support and used the other to return the embrace, albeit a little awkwardly, since his current position was straining his neck and his back slightly. Still, even though his back hurt and his coat was getting wet and Xion was hugging him, that feeling of warmth suffusing itself through his entire body, aided by her own body heat (the notice crossed his mind, very briefly, that even with their lack of hearts Nobodies could exude body heat at all), refused to leave him.
And so Roxas let himself hold her, listened as her gulping sobs and sniffling murmurs subsided, and felt the last of his anger toward the whole situation slip away.
Because, he reflected – and his arm tightened reflexively around her at the thought – it was the least he could do for a friend, after all.
When Xion finally drew back, she just looked up at him with the tiniest hint of pink growing on her countenance, as though ashamed of her own action of breaking down in front of, rather, on him. For a few moments the two surveyed each other, the events of the past couple of minutes now fully reaching them and making them abruptly unsure of what to say to one another.
Roxas opened his mouth – to say what, he wondered suddenly, and nearly closed it again in preparation to rearrange his thoughts, but Xion just put a finger to his lips.
And then she smiled (odd, she'd induced a reaction of content from him that way before, but said content had never resounded this strongly within him before) and uttered just three words.
"Thank you, Roxas."
And Roxas couldn't help but smile back, unable to give the natural counterpart comment of you're welcome due to her finger still over his lips, and think that maybe, just maybe, all he had needed to assuage the turmoil inside him was the chance to reassure her of her worth and how she had value (to him and Axel, at least).
You're welcome.
Oh, the awkward fluff. Roxas is such a little kid (mentally, at least) it makes me laugh sometimes.
I hope this wrapped up well. Obviously, it's much shorter than I'm used to writing. -sweatdrop-
FFN still hates my horizontal rules. -_-
