Chapter 1: Him
Through the thin walls of my house, I smell the stench of my father's cooking. I look down at my watch, then remember he took it. The sun is setting so I guess it's around seven. "Better hurry up," I think as I walk downstairs, careful not to make any noise. I take note of the one bottle that has anything in it, among the empty bottles littering the counter. An almost empty whiskey bottle. I set the table for two, and sit down with my father. I wait for my drunk father to serve himself before I reach over to put whatever it is on my plate. My arm bumps my glass of milk, sending it crashing to the floor. I freeze, and look at my father.
"Pick it up!" he yells. Before I have a chance to get out of my chair, he smacks his plate off the table. It shatters on the floor. I gasp. "Pick that up too."
"Why would you-" he reaches across the table and slaps me so hard I fall out of my chair and land on the broken glass.
"DON'T TALK BACK!" he screams. Without thinking, I get up and run out the back door into the Georgia woods. I eventually stop running and sit down at the base of a tree, starting to cry. I don't know how long I'm there before I hear a voice.
"Hey, are ya ok?" a boy asks. I can barely make out his facial features in the darkness. The most I can do to answer his question is weakly shake my head. "What's your name?"
"Terri," I answer between sobs.
"Are ya lost?" I shake my head again. "Why are ya crying?"
"My... My dad... He... He hit me," I say, my tears slowly subsiding. I tilt my head up so he can see my swollen and bruised cheek. He looks shocked for a minute, like he's thinking about something else, but then he kneels next to me and gently traces the bruise with his fingertips.
"Does it hurt?" he whispers, his voice much gentler than before.
"A little." My voice is so quiet I'm surprised he heard it, but he nods in understanding.
"Come with me," he says, taking my hand and leading me deeper into the woods. After a while I hear water and see a trickling stream. He takes a bandana out of his back pocket and dips it in the water. "Here." He gently presses the damp cloth on my bruise. I flinch when it first touches my skin.
"Cold," I say in explanation. He nods.
"It'll bring down the swelling," he says. He notices the cuts on my hands, from the broken glass, and dabs them with the bandana.
"Thanks... Hey, you never told me your name." He smirks.
"Daryl."
I wake up to the sun streaming through my tent. I smile. It's been a long time since I last dreamt about Daryl. I roll over in my sleeping bag and see Becca, still asleep. I'm glad a five year old can still sleep peacefully even in this world. Silently, I slip on my camo cargo pants and boots. It's warm out so I don't need my leather jacket over my black tank-top. I go outside and start tidying up the campsite before I wake up Becca. One walker shows up, but I quickly take it out with my hunting knife. I go back
into the tent.
"Becca, c'mon honey, you have to wake up," I say. She groans.
"Five more minutes," she manages to mumble.
"No... c'mon you know we have to pack up camp and get moving." She sits up and rubs her eyes. 'Those blue eyes and brown hair, just like her father.' I think to myself.
"Mommy?" she asks.
"What is it sweetie?"
"Where are we going today?" I sigh, she must be the most innocent child in this new world.
"I don't know, hopefully somewhere safe," I say.
"Ok!" she says, jumping up and quickly getting dressed in her light orange t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Her energy makes me giggle a little bit. I stand up and walk back outside. Thankfully, yesterday I found a truck with a full tank of gas so we don't have to walk for miles today. I put all my weapons in the backseat; a crossbow, AKM, a variety of knives, and plenty of ammo. I keep my Colt 1911 with me, just in case. Becca helps me pack up our clothes and everything else in the tent, and she puts it in the truck while I take down the tent. I throw the folded up tent in the bed of the truck and hop into the driver's seat. Becca gets in next to me.
By the time it gets dark we are still driving. I'm driving up a dirt road close to what looks like an old rock quarry, just outside the city. Becca has fallen asleep on the seat. As I near the end of the road, I see campfires and then a few cars in my head lights. A camp, another group. As I put the truck in park I see a two men from the group run over and aim their guns at me when I get out of the truck.
"It's ok, I'm unarmed," I say as I put my hands up.
"What's your name?" One of the men ask me. I notice a woman and child standing behind him, probably his family.
"Terri McNeil, I've been driving all day looking for a good place to set up camp," I reply.
"Is anyone with you?" Another man asks.
"My daughter, her name is Becca. She's 5," I say, expecting all these questions.
"You can stay the night, we'll talk more in the morning," the first man says, "My name's Rick, this is Shane," he gestures to the other man.
"Thank you, my daughter's asleep," I start, "I won't wake her, but do you have anything to eat? I haven't eaten anything since this morning." The woman standing behind Rick, as I now know him, walks up to me.
"Of course, come over here," she says, leading me to the campfire, "I'm Lori, this is Jim, Dale, Andrea, Amy, Jacqui, T-Dog, and Glenn," she gestures to everyone around the fire, "Carol, Ed, and Sophia are over by that fire. And my son, Carl, is over there with Rick and Shane," she finishes. Everyone around the fire greets me.
"I'm Terri, and I just want to thank you all for letting me and my daughter stay here tonight. She's asleep in the car, but I'm sure she'll love meeting you all tomorrow," I say as I sit next to Dale.
"Here, you must be starving," Jacqui says with a kind smile, handing me a plate of food. I notice Rick, Carl, and Shane join the group around the fire again.
"Thanks," I say. As I eat the group goes back to talking about whatever they were talking about before, Rick telling the group about something. I zone out, thinking about my dream last night. I only notice the end of what Dale was saying:
"... Daryl."
"Daryl? By any chance do you mean Daryl Dixon?" I ask eagerly.
"Um... Yeah, do you know him?" Glenn answers.
"We were childhood friends. He's actually here!?" I exclaim, unable to wrap my head around the fact he's here.
"He's on a hunting trip, but he's part of the group," Rick says.
"Wow. I just can't believe it. Although I could've guessed that he'd be the one to survive all the shit in the world."
When I wake up, Becca has already gotten up and introduced herself to the group. As I get out of the truck (where I slept because I was too tired to put up the tent) I see Shane and Rick talking to him. Daryl. He's the same as when I last saw him, five years ago, but really needed a shower. I'm guessing they just told him what I learned last night; They left Merle handcuffed to a roof on their run.
"Hell with all ya all!" Daryl yells as he starts walking away. That's when he sees me.
"Terri?" he asks in disbelief.
"Daryl!" He runs over to where I am and wraps me in his arms. I hug him back. We stand there for a few minutes in each other's arms before Becca interrupts us.
"Mommy? Who's this guy?" she asks, looking up at us. I break from our embrace and look at her, then Daryl, then back to her.
"A old friend of mine, his name is Daryl," I answer.
"Yeah, I've known your mom since she was 11," he adds, giving me a questioning look.
"So, this is Becca. Short for Rebecca," I tell him.
"Looks like we've got a lot of catching up to do," he says.
"Yeah," is all I can say back.
Daryl and I go for a walk in the woods, to have privacy while we catch up. Once we're far enough away from the camp I turn to face him. I press my lips to his. When we break the kiss, he rests his forehead on mine.
"I've been waiting to do that for five years," I whisper. He smirks.
"So," he starts, "You have a kid?" I sigh and break out of our embrace.
"Yeah."
"Who's the father?" he asks.
"She's five. Think about it," I reply. I see his eyes widen as it sinks in.
"She's... She's... Mine? I have a daughter!?" he exclaims. I nod. "Does she know?"
"She only met you today, how was I supposed to tell her that her father was someone she's never met before?" I say.
"Are you planning on telling her?" he questions.
"What's with all the questions?" I answer.
"I just want to know," he says.
"I... I know. Just, I don't know. I mean, how am I supposed to raise a kid in this shit hole of a world?" I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck.
"It's ok, we'll do it together," he says, stroking my hair. I calm down and breathe in his scent. Being in his arms, it soothes me. He's the only person I can open up to.
"You left. Why?" I ask. I hear him let out a small sigh.
"I had to help Merle," he replies.
"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you leave in the middle of the night?"
"Terri... I-I don't know. I guess I just didn't know how to tell you." He leans down and leaves the whisper of a kiss on my lips. "I... I love ya."
"... What?" I ask, so quietly that I barely hear my own voice.
"You heard me," he jokes, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. I let out a small giggle.
"Daryl!" I exclaim, a huge smile on my face, "Do you mean it?" He backs away slightly, and rests his hand on my cheek.
"If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't of said it," he whispers. I look up at him, and can't resist the urge to kiss him.
"I love you too." He leans down to whisper in my ear.
"I know," he says cheekily. I playfully slap his shoulder, laughing.
"C'mon, we should get back to camp. They're probably talking about us by now," I say, not very convincingly.
"Mhmm... Ya sure ya don't wanna stay out here for a little bit?" he mumbles as he kisses my neck and collarbone.
"Daryl," I start, running my fingers through his hair, "As much as I want to stay here, and have a little fun... We do really need to get back." He sighs against my shoulder.
"Fine... Let's go," he says, putting his arm around my shoulders. We walk back to camp, and Daryl goes off to talk to Rick and Shane. Becca runs up to me.
"Hey mommy? Do you like Mr. Daryl?" she asks. I smile, and lift her up.
"Of course, I've known him since I was a kid," I say.
"No! I mean, do you like-like him?" she argues. I can't help laughing loudly at this.
"Why do you ask that sweetie?"
"The way he looked at you... I think he like-likes you." she answers.
"Maybe, why don't you go play with the other kids?" I say, while I put her down. I watch her run off to play with Sophia and Carl before I walk over to where Daryl is talking to Rick and Shane.
"So, exactly how long have you two known each other?" Shane asks.
"20 years," we say in unison, surprising even us.
"... Alright, do you have any weapons in that truck of yours?" Rick continues.
"A crossbow, AKM, colt 1911, and a couple of knives," I say.
"Ammo?" Rick asks.
"Plenty," I answer, "What's this about?"
"I'm going into Atlanta to get a bag of guns I dropped," Rick says, "Daryl was saying something about going back with me to get Merle before you woke up this morning, well more like yelling." I look at Daryl.
"Are you gonna go?" I ask him.
"It's Merle I-" he starts. I roll my eyes and interrupt him by taking his hand and dragging him away from Rick and Shane, so he can answer in some sort of privacy.
"I know it's Merle, but I was hoping to spend a bit more time with you before you went off on some run," I say.
"I don't wanna go anymore," he replies softly, "I was going to, but then ya showed up and told me I have a daughter," he lowers his voice at the end, "And I want to get to know her."
"That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard you say," I whisper, "And thank you."
"Sweet?" He raises his eyebrows.
"Yes." He shakes his head and walks back to Rick and Shane with me. I notice Glenn has joined them.
"I'm not going. But ya better get Merle," he says to Rick.
"Uh... Yeah. The building Merle is on is on the way to the guns," Glenn says, looking surprised.
"Alright, let's get going," Rick says. I see them leave, then turn to Daryl.
"What should we do?" I ask.
"I don-" he starts.
"Mommy!" Becca exclaims, running up to us, "Can we go down to the lake?" she asks.
"The quarry? I don't see why not," I answer, looking up to Daryl.
"Guess we've found what we're doing," he says. We walk down to the quarry, Becca walking in between Daryl and I. Daryl leads us to the side of the quarry where nobody is. I see most of the women in the camp on the side of the quarry closest to the camp, and I see Carl and Shane close by splashing in the water.
"Woah!" Becca says in amazement as she runs to the edge of the water and starts to take off her sneakers to put her toes in the water. Daryl raises his eyebrows at me accusingly.
"What? She's never been swimming before," I say.
"Ya haven't taken her to a lake or pond or somethin'? Not even a swimmin" pool?" I shake my head. "Geez..." he says, walking off to join Rebecca by the water. As he takes off his shoes and wades into the water, to teach her how to swim, I think back to when he taught me how to swim in a small pond we found while we were hunting. He was a great teacher. Becca will be swimming within fifteen minutes. I'm brought out of my thoughts by Becca giggling.
"I'm doing it! I'm swimming!" she yells. Despite the fact she was splashing water everywhere, I see Daryl smiling down at her. Daryl. Smiling. Actually smiling.
"Did ya know I taught your mom how to swim when she was a kid?" Daryl asks. I start to take off my shoes to join them in the water.
"Mommy can swim?" she asks. He chuckles a little.
"Heh, yeah. She was a fast learner, just like you," he says, shooting me a glance. I smile, knowing he's remembering the same day I am. It was probably the best day of my life. As I wade into the water, I think of an idea. I look at Daryl and splash him with water. "What was that for!?" I shrug.
"Nothing, I'm bored," I answer. He splashes me with a ton of water.
"Just remember ya started it!" We start having a splash war, and Becca joins in. After a while I get bored with splashing, so I tackle Daryl. We both fall over into the shallow water laughing. Becca keeps on splashing water at no one in particular while Daryl and I wrestle. After having no luck wrestling me to the ground, Daryl resorts to tickling me. I can't stop laughing and have to shout at him to stop while crawling onto the shore. All he does is laugh at me and lie down on the shore next to me. He yawns. "How 'bout a nap?" He gets comfortable and closes his eyes.
"Alright, c'mon Becca you could use a nap too," I shout to her. She runs over to us and lies down next to Daryl, her head on his chest. He opens his eyes and looks surprised for a second, but then relaxes and falls asleep. I decide on staying up and keeping watch, but eventually I drift off.
As I walk home from Justin's house, at noon, I feel tears stinging my face. It's stupid, I should have known I wouldn't last in the popular crowd. But I never thought he would do that, especially since we've been dating for a month now. Today was supposed to be our anniversary. Once I'm a block away from my house I turn into the woods towards Daryl and my meeting spot. We didn't plan to meet up but I know he'll be there, he always is.
"Hey," he says. I look up and see him sitting on a tree branch.
"Hey." Thank god my voice didn't break. My tears have dried, but I'm sure my eyes are red and puffy.
"How was ya date?" he asks as he jumps down from the tree.
"We, uh, we... We broke up." I say, my voice finally breaking at the end.
"What happened? Are you OK?" He wraps his arms around me.
"He... I... I caught him cheating on me... With Ashley," I answer, starting to cry again.
"I... am so sorry," he whispers into my hair. I look up at him.
"I thought you hated Justin," I say.
"I do, but you seemed happy when you were with him. Now I hope you realize that he's not good enough for you," he replies, looking at my arm, "What're these?" He takes his bandana and wraps it around my arm, which is almost dripping with blood by now.
"I... I went back to my father's, and h- he beat me more 'cause he didn't know where I'd been," I reply, my tears coming back. He uses his bandana to bandage my arm, after he uses it to clean up the cuts on my legs.
"And ya cut ya self," he finishes for me. "Why don't we go huntin'?"
"Is that your answer to everything? 'Let's go hunting?'" I question.
"Ya have a better idea?" he answers.
"... No, let's go, it'll clear my mind."
"That's more like it." He grabs his crossbow and starts walking off, while I follow him. I stay as quiet as possible while he hunts because I don't have a weapon.
After an hour we haven't caught anything.
"Damn. I was hopin' to get some squirrels by now," he exclaims.
"It's weird, these woods usually have tons of animals, especially this time of year," I say.
"It's about one, right?" he asks.
"Yeah, I guess, why?"
"Follow me." He grabs my hand and starts leading me further into the woods. After fifteen minutes I'm only holding his hand for the heck of it. "Here we are." We enter a clearing with a pond. The bottom of the pond is made up of huge, flat rocks and there's a rock ledge looking over the water. The water is the clearest I have ever seen. The whole scene is beautiful.
"What are we doing here?" I ask.
"Are ya kidding? It's a hundred degrees out! We're going swimmin'," he says, putting down his crossbow and hunting knife.
"Swimming?" I question nervously as he strips down to just his boxers and shirt.
"Yeah... You do know how, right?"
"Uh... Not exactly," I answer. He gives me a dumbfounded look.
"Ya never went swimmin'?" he asks. I shake my head. "Then it's time for ya to learn, I mean, you are sixteen after all," he says with a smirk, while he wades backwards into the water. I roll my eyes.
"Fine," I answer. I see him keep back a smile, making me smirk. I strip down to my bra and underwear. He quickly looks away, and I swear he's blushing, but then he looks straight at me and smiles a genuine smile. I walk into the water and he teaches me how to swim. In fifteen minutes I can swim almost as well as him. We stop swimming when it starts to rain. "God, it's pouring out here!" I exclaim as I look up and laugh. Daryl actually laughs along with me. I smile at him and we stand in the water looking at each other.
"C'mere," he says, leading me over to the rock ledge. He helps me up on the rock and we sit next to each other with his arm around me. We sit there looking out at the rain pouring down while protected by the trees overhead. "Terri..." he says, looking at me.
"Yeah?" When I look over his expression is serious. I smile a little, nervously, and then his lips crash into mine.
Daryl wakes me up from my nap. When I open my eyes he smiles.
"What were ya dreamin' about?" he asks. I smile.
"The day you taught me to swim," I reply. He smiles back and sits back down on the rocky shore next to Becca, who is building a castle out of small rocks.
"I remember that day," he says.
"Yeah, it was probably the second best night of my life. Well, more like afternoon but, whatever," I say. He raises his eyebrows. "You know what night was the first best," I say, "Hey, Becca honey, whatcha building?"
"I don't know, I'm bored," she says.
"Alright, wanna go back to camp and play with the other kids?" I ask.
"Yeah!" she shouts.
"Let's go then," Daryl says, as he picks her up and starts walking down the trail. I follow along and hold the hand he isn't using. When we get back to camp he puts Becca down so she can join Sophia and Carl, and I let go of his hand. "C'mon," he says, leading me over to his tent which is separate from the rest of the camp.
"So, tell me again, why are we all alone in your campsite?" I question. He places his hands firmly on my lower back and holds me close to him.
"Because I love ya," he answers, kissing my cheek.
"Daryl. That is extremely off topic," I say.
"Really? Can't that be my answer to everything?" he says sarcastically, while walking into his tent.
"Not if we want to keep 'us' a secret to the rest of the group, especially to Becca," I say, following him.
"Are we ever gonna tell her?" he asks, sitting down on his rolled out sleeping bag.
"Of course, I just want to wait for the right time," I say as I sit next to him. He automatically puts his arm around my shoulder.
"OK," he says, repositioning himself. I shift around to get comfortable, and end up lying down with my head on his lap.
"What's wrong?" I ask, looking up at his troubled face.
"This morning, there was a walker. They've never been this far out of the city," he replies.
"And you're thinking, what happens if more show up and we get overrun?" I say.
"Somethin' like that," he says.
"We'll be fine," I say, gently pulling his head down and kissing him. He kisses me back passionately, while moving so he is lying over me and supporting my head with his hand.
"Daryl..." I whisper in between his kisses. Instead of answering, he kisses my lips and all over my neck. "I love you." He stops for a moment. He smiles, and chuckles a little. I raise my eyebrows at him. He shakes his head and kisses my lips. I take my time returning his kiss and enjoy the taste of his mouth. After our kiss I hesitate before the next one. As I breathlessly give him a small smile, but the look on his face shows that he understands what I want to say. He gently presses his lips to my jaw and rolls over onto his back next to me. I put my arm around him and rest my head on his shoulder. "I miss this," I say. I feel him look down at me.
"Miss what?" he asks.
"This. Lying with you, kissing you," I reply.
"You're beautiful," he says.
"Where did that come from?" I question.
"I don't know, but it's true," he whispers into my hair. I look up at him.
"You wanna go hunting?" I ask.
"We haven't been hunting in forever," he mentions.
"Exactly, that's why I want to go," I say. He sits up.
"Let's go," he says.
We got back from the hunt with nothing but a few squirrels, now we're sitting at Daryl's campsite, with Becca, cooking them.
"So, honey, did you have a good time today?" I ask Becca. Before she has time to answer, we hear a scream from over by the RV.
"Walkers," I hear Daryl whisper as he grabs his crossbow. I grab my Colt, and look over to Daryl, who's picking up Becca and starts running over to the main campsite. I follow right behind him, watching his back since he can't shoot while carrying Becca. Chaos. That's the only way to describe this. I get surrounded by walkers, and as I'm fighting them off I see Daryl giving Becca to Dale, who's on top of the RV where the walkers can't get to. I hope Becca is safe. Daryl runs over to me and helps me fend off the walkers. He points to the quarry. "Run!" he yells, grabbing my arm and running. As we sprint towards the quarry, I realize Daryl's plan: we're going to swim across the quarry and hope walkers can't make it through water. We run into the water, and start swimming, but then we notice the walkers just keep walking. They start walking under the water, but it makes sense; walkers don't need to breathe. Daryl is just ahead of me, and we're almost across. My arms and legs ache, I've never swam this far before. We're almost close enough to stand, but then I feel something grab my leg and pull me under. A walker. Shit.
Am I dead? Did I drown? Did I turn into a walker? No. I'm breathing. I'm alive. I can hardly breathe; every breath hurts. I don't want to open my eyes. Maybe if I just don't open my eyes, I'll be able to escape this world. Wait; Becca, my daughter. I open my eyes and try to sit up immediately, but I lose my breath and my head hurts.
"Easy," Daryl whispers, as he helps me lie back down. I feel so out of it.
"Where are we? Where's Becca? Is she safe?" I ask him, but my voice comes out quiet and weak. He places his hand on my cheek.
"Ya have to calm down babe," he whispers, "A walker pulled ya under, ya almost drowned. It didn't scratch ya, ya are safe from being infected. I left Becca on the roof of the RV with Dale, as far as I know she was safe. I'm sorry."
"We have to go back there then, to make sure everyone is safe," I say, my voice slowly coming back.
"And we will. Right now, the coast is clear from walkers. But ya are too weak to walk all the way back, around the quarry," he says. I try to sit up again, slower this time, and I manage to stay up.
"I can make it," I insist. He just frowns at me.
"Ya can barely sit up," he says, "I'm gonna carry ya back, and I won't take no for an answer." I sigh at him, then notice I feel a little dizzy and I'm shivering slightly.
"I don't want to be carried back like some little baby," I argue.
"Then don't ya start complainin' like a lil' baby," he argues back. I sigh and shrug at him. He picks up his crossbow and my colt, and then walks over to me and picks me up like I weigh nothing. It is kinda nice to be carried by him, but I'll never admit that to him. We don't talk at all on the way back to the camp, but soon enough we can see everyone dragging bodies into a burn pile and one other pile. I notice a few faces missing, Carol, her husband, Amy, and a few others. I wasn't here long enough to really get to know them. I see Becca hugging Sofia, but as soon as she sees me and Daryl she runs over.
"Mommy! Are you okay!?" She asks worriedly.
"You're mom is fine, she's just a little weak from being underwater for a little too long," Daryl answers for me. I notice Rick walking over to us once he was finished talking to Shane.
"What happened?" he asks Daryl.
"We thought we'd lose the walkers by swimmin' across the quarry, but they walked under the water. Terri got pulled under, almost drowned. I swam back and pulled her outta the water. No scratches or bites. She's just weak. Will be for a few days." Daryl answers.
"Okay, we gotta take care of the bodies here. Sofia lost her mother," Rick says.
"I can take her in if you guys need it, her and Becca are friends anyway," I add.
"For now, you need rest. Daryl can take you back to his campsite, I think that's the best place for you to rest up," Rick says.
"We'll go now," Daryl says, turning to go.
"Actually Rick, can you come with us? Daryl and I need to talk to you," I say.
"We do?" Daryl whispers in my ear. I nod slightly.
"Okay, let's go," Rick says, following Daryl to his campsite. Daryl carries me into his tent and places me on his sleeping bag.
"Are we telling 'em everything? Even that I'm Becca's dad?" he whispers into my ear. I nod in response. Rick steps into the tent.
"What is it you need to talk to me about?" he asks.
"Daryl and I have a... History, you might say," I start.
"You said you two were childhood friends?" Rick states, more like questions. I sigh, getting tired and lightheaded.
"It's, a bit more complicated than that..." I say quietly. Daryl notices that I'm getting tired, and he takes over explaining.
"I'll explain it to ya. We met back in '83, became friends and I taught 'er how to hunt. In '88 I kissed 'er and we were together for a while. I left 'er in '90, but showed up at 'er house in '98 and stayed the weekend," he explains to Rick.
"So you two were together?" Rick asks.
"Still are. And one other thing," Daryl says, "When she showed up here, found out I've got a daughter." Rick face turns from confusion to surprise, and it's actually kinda funny.
"Becca, she's... You're daughter?" Rick questions.
"Yeah," Daryl mumbles.
"Wow. Does she know who her father is?"
"We're going to tell her after you leave, then we'll tell the group," I say. Rick looks at me.
"Okay. Good luck. Now get some rest, don't worry about telling the group. I'm sure that Daryl can tell them if you don't feel up to it," Rick says.
"Thanks Rick," I say, "Could you have Becca come to the tent?"
"Sure thing," he says, as he turns and leaves the tent. Daryl sits down next to where I'm laying and lets me lean on him. Becca comes into the tent and sits in front of me and Daryl.
"Mr. Daryl, is mommy sick?" she asks. He smiles.
"She's just tired, Becca, but she's got something to tell you," he replies.
"What is it mommy?" she questions. I try to sit up a little bit, but I feel dizzy again so I just lean against Daryl.
"Well... Have you ever wondered who your daddy is?" I start.
"Yeah, you told me I didn't have a daddy," she answers, confused.
"You do honey, and he's right here. Daryl is your father," I tell her. Her face lights up as the news sinks in. She practically leaps onto Daryl to hug him, and the look on his face is priceless.
"Daddy!" she squeals, making me giggle. He almost falls over, but then hugs her back.
"I doubt I'll ever get used this," he mumbles, looking over at me. I smile.
"Yeah you will," I whisper, leaning over to him and leaving a kiss on his cheek.
"Ewww!" Becca says, making a face at us. I giggle, and I see Daryl smirk.
"What? Does this bother ya?" he asks. He leans in and kisses my lips.
"Eww! Stop!" she squeals, burying her face in her hands. Her reaction just makes me giggle even more, and I see Daryl smile. I know I need to rest, so I decide to take a nap with Becca as Daryl helps the group.
When I wake up, it's dark out and Daryl is beside me with Becca.
"Becca?" We hear Sofia call out quietly from outside the tent.
"Come on in here Sofia," I respond. She comes into the tent, and stands next to where Becca is sitting.
"I was wondering if Becca wanted to come eat with everyone else," she asks, looking down at Becca.
"Sure honey. And Becca, if you see Rick let him know Daryl and I will be over there soon, we just need to talk for a bit, okay?" I instruct them.
"Okay mommy!" Becca says, as she gets up and leaves the tent with Sofia. I lean back against Daryl, and I notice I haven't stopped shivering.
"We needa talk?" he asks me. I shake my head.
"No, I just want everyone to leave us alone for a little," I say quietly, "I'm getting pretty tired again and I can't stop shivering."
"Shiverin'?" he questions.
"Yeah, I'm tired and dizzy and shivering, why?"
"Damnit Terri." Is all he says, as he gets up and kneels next to me. "I gotta take care of ya and ya ain't tellin' me what's wrong till ya feelin' like shit." He gets into the sleeping bag with me, and wraps us up in it. "Ya better not have hypothermia, or anythin' else." He holds me close to his body, but then backs away. "Ya clothes are still damp."
"I guess they didn't dry off," I respond.
"Take 'em off, I need to have 'em dry out," he instructs. I do as he says, and I get back in the sleeping bag wearing nothing but my bra and underwear. "Ya stay here for now, I'm gonna hang these outside and get Becca. It's about 'er bedtime ain't it." I stay lying there, shivering in the sleeping bag, and thinking about Daryl being a dad. My thoughts are interrupted a few moments later by Daryl and Becca coming into the tent. I'm too exhausted to lift my head up, so I just relax and let Daryl get her settled.
"Is mommy asleep?" I hear her ask.
"Yeah, and now it's 'bout time ya get to bed too," he whispers in response.
"Okay, goodnight daddy," she says, and I hear her getting settled in her own sleeping bag across the tent.
"'Night," he answers. Then he gets back into our sleeping bag, and I notice he took off his shirt. Probably to warm me up faster. He wraps his arms around me, and after a few minutes he falls asleep. I drift off soon after.
To my surprise, Daryl is still laying next to me when I wake up. It must be early, it's just barely sunrise.
"Mornin'," Daryl whispers.
"You're up?" I ask.
"Course I'm up," he replies.
"How come you didn't get up and start packing your things up?" I question.
"I wanted to stay with ya for a bit." I smile at his response and, noticing Becca is still fast asleep, I kiss him before cuddling up next to him.
I put on a loose long sleeve shirt and some sweatpants after I get out of the shower. I walk into the kitchen and look at a delivery menu as I sit on the counter. I pick up my home phone and order a small cheese pizza. I pull my legs up and sit on the counter hugging myself, losing myself in thought. I must've lost track of time because it seemed like only five minutes had passed before I hear knocking on the door. When I open the door, expecting the pizza man, I'm taken back at who I see. Him. Daryl.
"Wh- What are you doing here?" I stutter. He has a black eye and I notice his knuckles are bleeding. Before he has time to answer, I go into auto drive. "Get in here. Sit at the counter, I'll get my first aid kit."
"I'm fine I don't need-"
"Shut up and get in here," I insist, as he sits down at the counter I grab a bag of frozen peas from my freezer and chuck it at him. I quickly get my first aid kit and sit across from him. I can tell he wants to say something; explain himself. "You've been gone eight years. You said you'd call. You didn't," I say as I wrap his knuckles.
"I know Ter, I'm sor-" he starts.
"Don't you dare. Don't say you're sorry," I say. I look in his eyes and I can see he's really sorry; he's beating himself up inside. He reaches out to put his hand on mine, but as soon as our skin meets I flinch and pull away.
"What's wrong?" he asks. I stand up and start cleaning when the pizza man knocks, so I go to pay him and get my pizza. "Teressa." I look up at him, he's now standing right next to me. He's only ever used my full name once before. "Tell me what's wrong." I look down and wrap my arms around myself, flinching as the stinging starts again with the touch. I stay silent, looking at the ground instead of his eyes. I feel a single tear slide down my cheek and that's when I know he's realized what's wrong. He doesn't say anything but I can feel his anger in the air as he quickly storms into my bathroom to see if he's right. I know he wants to be wrong, but he knows he's right. I hear him curse and I fall to my knees on the kitchen floor as more tears fall down my face. He comes back into the kitchen, still not calmed down, and throws my bathroom trash can with its contents on the floor in front of me. I know he's not angry at me but it still hurts me when he finds out. My hands cover my face and I look at the blood covered toilet paper scattered over the floor. The only thing in the trash that isn't bloody toilet paper is a hospital wristband I had thrown in there after I had gotten home a couple days ago. He picks up the wristband and reads the date then places it on the counter.
"Ter... Lemme see, please," he whispers, now calm and kneeling down in front of me. I numbly hold my hands out to him and he takes them in his. As soon as our skin touches I flinch again and almost pull back. He ever-so-gently lifts the sleeve of shirt up on each of my arms. His breath hitches slightly when he sees, and he runs his fingers over one of my arms; just not actually touching my skin. He turns my hands over to look at my wrists and there he sees the stitches, he sets my hands down in my lap and takes my cheeks in his hands. He uses his thumb to wipe away my tears.
"Ya don't have to tell me why right now Terri, just show me the rest," he pleads. I nod slightly and he takes that as a 'go ahead'. He helps me stand up, and I never look up from the floor. His strong hands shake slightly as they move to the hem of my shirt and lift it up over my head. His hands then move to the waistband of my sweatpants and he gently pulls them down with my underwear. I watch his expression change as he looks up and down my naked figure. I bite my bottom lip, not sure what to do. He sees the cuts on my arms going all the way up to my shoulders, the cuts along my ribs, the cuts all over my stomach, all over my hips, my thighs, even my feet. My whole body. He sighs.
"I'm sorry Daryl," I whisper, barely audible. He takes my cheeks into his heads again and rests his forehead on mine.
"Ya don't have to be sorry. I just hate seeing ya like this," he responds. I look up at him and gently press my lips to his as a few more silent tears slide down my cheek. He wraps his arms around me but is careful not to touch any of the cuts. He deepens the kiss as we move into my room. I don't know what we're doing, within moments we're both on my bed naked. We aren't thinking through this but right now I don't care, I just want to feel good. He moves his hand down to just above my inner thigh.
"St-Stop, Daryl stop," I say, pushing him away. He stops immediately, afraid he hurt me by touching some of my cuts.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt ya?" He asks, reaching out for me but I back away more.
"No, I'm fine. I just... Can't do that," I say. He looks at me, confused, and I pull the blanket over my body as I start to cry.
"Hey hey hey, what's the matter?" he asks, reaching over to place a hand on my shoulder but I flinch as soon as he touches me. "Terri, don't ignore me I know somethin's the matter. Ya flinch every time I touch ya," he says.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry," I answer.
"Don't be sorry just tell me what's wrong," he whispers.
"You've been gone for eight years Daryl. A lot happened. I, uh, I was with someone... His name was Mark and he told me he loved me two days after we met. I said it back soon after, and I really thought I did. He had told me his biggest secrets in those first few days of knowing each other. I- I should've just stopped talking to him then. It was bad. We were happy together for a while, even though I kept ignoring the few signs that I should leave him. I did... Things I never thought I would with him. We even sexted when we were apart. But then he told me he never really loved me, he was pretending I was someone else the entire time. And he was fucking proud of how well he lied to me. He's a psychopath," I tell him, my voice cracking towards the end as I cry. "He just used me to get off after the girl he's hooked on didn't want him. Now I feel used and violated, I can't expose myself in any way."
"Ter... I'm so sorry... But ya can trust me, I'd never hurt ya," he whispers.
"I know... I'm not trying to push you away, I just can't help it," I say.
"Please, just let me hold ya tonight," he begs, gently reaching out to me. I force myself to let him pull me to his warm body. I tense up, only partly due to the cuts stinging. "I'm gonna fucking kill this guy for doing this to ya," he says out loud. My eyes shoot up to look at him and I back up slightly.
"Don't say that, don't say you're gonna kill anyone." My voice cracks at the word 'kill'. He places a hand on my cheek.
"Did that Mark guy... kill someone?" he asks. I look down.
"No... But he had urges to..." I answer quietly.
"And ya stayed with him after knowin' that?"
"I thought I loved him Daryl, I really thought I did. And I was in love, just not with him. I was in love with the guy he was pretending to be," I say. He brushes my hair behind my ear.
"I never want to see ya like this ever again," he responds, "Promise me."
"I promise."
"Whatcha thinking about Ter?" Daryl whispers in my ear, he could tell I was zoning out for a while before we had to get up for the day. I look up at him.
"When you showed up at my house a few days after I got back from the hospital," I answer, mindlessly rubbing the scar on my wrist. He looks down and, before he says anything, he takes my hands in his and lifts my wrists one at a time to his lips. His kisses are soft and gentle; full of love.
"Ya haven't done anymore since, right?" he asks. I shake my head.
"No, I made you a promise. Remember?" I reply. He nods and kisses my lips. As I hug him, I notice Becca starting to wake up.
"Morning Becca," I say gently. Daryl gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before getting up to gather our things into his truck.
"Hey mommy," she mumbles, yawning and stretching her arms before rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. I sit up; a little too fast as I soon find out, because my head starts spinning and I cough a few times before leaning back again. "Are you okay mommy?" Becca asks, looking over to me with the most concern a five year old can have.
"Ter!? Terri, what's wrong?" Daryl exclaims, rushing into the tent. I smile up at him.
"I'm fine Daryl, I just got up too quickly is all," I say, my voice a little hoarse. He kneels next to me and looks over to Becca.
"Becca, wanna do me a favor and pack your things into my truck?" he asks her. She lights up at the idea of helping Daryl and nods enthusiastically before grabbing her sleeping bag and stumbling out of the tent, tripping over her own feet. I can see Daryl watching her; his gaze the perfect combination of care and love. That gaze soon turns towards me. "You're really pale..."
"I'm fine Daryl, really," I whisper, "I love you." He softly kisses my lips in response.
"I worry about you, Ter. A lot. Ya hold too much in." I look into his eyes and let out a sigh.
"I know, I know. It's just... I have to be strong in this world, otherwise Becca would grow up without a mother..." I reply quietly. The look on his face is inexplicable; the perfect blend of care and concern, and love.
"That's never goin' to happen. I ain't gonna let it," he says.
"But you don't kno-"
"It ain't gonna happen."
"Daryl,"
"Stop."
"But-"
"No, Teressa." That's when I know to stop arguing. I open my mouth, just to say 'I'm sorry', but he stops me by crashing his lips into mine. I can feel the need in his kiss; the want, the care, the need. He needs me.