Ravens And Fireflies
All Inuyasha could see was darkness around him as he sleeps soundlessly in his bed. Though unconscious, he still had thoughts raising through his mind. Thoughts like: How did he get here? Where is he? What had happened to the demon he was fighting? Is everyone alright? From the most recent battle the group had encountered, all Inuyasha could recall was having his sword knocked out of his grasp before monstrous snakelike demon had it's fangs sinking into him.
He remembers catching glimpses of the battle afterwards. He recalls seeing a giant boomerang fly over his head at one point, striking the demon to set him free. He remembers feeling his anger building, than a sudden hunger. A hunger for the other demon's blood. At one point he recalls slicing his claws through the demon's neck, cutting it's head off.
Than someone called out his name. Kagome. Kagome had called out his name. He remembers turning towards her. She had such fear across her face. He remembers feeling excited by her fear. She was speaking to him as he stood there, she was walking closer to him. Miroku and Sango were there, standing behind her. Miroku looking as collected as ever. The slayer looked concerned. Shippo and Kilala were.. somewhere.
Than Kagome smiled at him before a scream erupted in his ears. That's all he can remember before everything seemed to go black. 'What had happened? Who screamed? It sounded a lot like Kagome.'
Inuyasha tiredly opened his heavy eyes as he came back to reality. Every part of him aches and screams in pain. His ears twitch on top of his head as he hears a few sobs outside the hut. Inuyasha sits up, wincing in pain as he does so. His ears twitch towards the door as two people outside his door have a conversation. He immediately recognized the two voices as Miroku and Sango.
"What are we going to tell him?" Inuyasha hears Sango, her voice heavy with sorrow. This confused the hanyou greatly. Why does Sango sound so sad? Had Kohaku come back while he was asleep.
"He has a right to know the truth, Sango." Miroku even sounds upset.
"Can't we tell him it was a demon? It'll be better for him."
"He'll spend the rest of his life seeking revenge on a demon that doesn't exist."
"But we can't tell him the truth!" Sango's voice was raising, causing Inuyasha's ears to flatten to his head, "Do you know what it'll do to him? It'll crush him, possibly kill him! I don't want that to happen."
Inuyasha has to wonder who exactly they are talking about. Surely they can't be referring to him. What could possibly 'crush' him as Sango so kindly put it. Had something happened? Had he done something?
"You can't possibly see him as the same after what happened. What if he does the same to us, to you."
"If I didn't, I wouldn't of dragged him all the way here, now would I? I don't care what he did. It wasn't his fault, and you know it. He had no control of himself."
"You're just trying to give him excuses. He's dangerous. Dangerous to everyone else." Inuyasha growls softly in irritation, not understanding what they keep talking about. All they're yelling is making his pounding head hurt even more. Pushing himself to his feet, he decides to go out there and tell them to be quiet. Wobbling over to the door, he prepares himself to give them a good yell, that is, until he's frozen in his tracks by what Miroku says next, "Whether he was or wasn't a full demon at the time is not what matters. The fact remains. Inuyasha killed Kagome."
Inuyasha's mouth drops open and hangs there in disbelief. His arm, seeming to have a mind of it's own, slowly pushes the door to the hut open. Both Miroku and Sango turn to look at him in surprise. Miroku hangs his head ashamed, while Sango stares wide eyed at the hanyou, tears still streaming down her face.
For a few moments, Inuyasha couldn't do much more than stare in disbelief at what he just heard. He couldn't bring himself to say anything. Even if he could, he doesn't think his voice would work at that moment. "Inuyasha." Inuyasha's gaze directs over to the slayer, "How much did you hear."
Inuyasha could clearly pick up the faint hope in her voice. Obviously she was hoping he hadn't heard anything. But it was a stupid question, and everyone knew it. Inuyasha is part dog demon, with the best hearing around. There's no chance in hell he misheard anything. He killed Kagome. At least that's what Miroku had just said. Though there's no chance that he misheard, there's a chance that the monk is lying. "Is... is it true Sango?" Inuyasha asks, his voice pained. The slayer bows her head, not giving him an answer. Inuyasha grabs Sango by the shoulders and begins shaking her violently, "Answer me damnit! Is it true? Did I kill Kagome?"
Inuyasha's a bit startled when Sango buries her face in his chest, her crying growing. Her arms wrap around him tightly, as if she couldn't support herself on her feet anymore, "It wasn't your fault!" Sango insists. Though her voice is muffled from Inuyasha's clothes, he heard her.
Inuyasha could feel his eyes begin to sting as nonexistent tears fill his eyes. "Where? Where is she?" Inuyasha asks quickly, his voice cracking in a few places. Miroku points towards the center of Kaeda's village with his staff where a group of people are gathering around. Breaking free of Sango's embrace, Inuyasha races towards the center of the village.
'No, it can't be true. This is some sick joke. One of Naraku's plots again. How could I kill any of them? There's no way I could have.' Inuyasha's mind was racing as fast as his feet. He finally reached the center of the village. He opts to leap to one of the roofs of the huts so he can see over all the villagers. His gaze lands on Kagome's form, prepared for the ceremonial burn. Everything around Inuyasha seemed to stop, time was nonexistent as he sat and watched her body be engulfed into flames by Kaeda's torch. Shippo was on Keada's shoulder crying his eyes out.
Inuyasha doesn't know how long he sat there watching. He still can't believe that she's gone. And it's all because of him. He inflicted the killing blow, he wasn't under Naraku's control, or anyone else's, except his own. He killed her. He killed his own friend. Friends are scarce for him, not many want to be his friend. But Kagome had befriended him after they had traveled together.
Movement was caught out of the corner of Inuyasha's eye. A large black and shiny bird. He recognizes the bird as a raven. It's crimson gaze remains transfixed on Kagome's burning body, ignoring Inuyasha's presence. Soon two other ravens joined at the first's side. They begin letting out croaking cries. As if calling out to the heaven above, letting them know someone has died.
Inuyasha remembers going through a village that worship ravens. They believed the raven carried the souls of the dearly departed to the other side. Inuyasha had passed it off as just another stupid belief in another poor village where the villagers try to seek comfort in any way possible. Believing that the souls of their loved ones would be taken care of was just another way of comforting.
And yet, this is a totally different village. And ravens had come. Inuyasha isn't sure if it's true or not. But right now, Inuyasha is willing to believe anything that would help dull the pain he's feeling. If Kagome's soul truly will be looked after, Inuyasha can almost let go of some of his guilt. But nothing will ever make him let go of it totally, he had killed a friend.
By killing one friend, he's lost all of them. It wouldn't matter which one he killed, it could have been Miroku, Shippo, Sango, or even Kirara. None of them will trust him again. Shippo will never forgive him for killing his new 'mother'. It's pretty clear already that Miroku doesn't see him as a friend anymore. Once Sango gets over her shock, she'll probably try and kill him. After all, she is a demon exterminator.
Inuyasha blinks out of his daze as the ravens cried one last time before taking flight through the night, a few of their silky feathers drifting falling from the sky. Inuyasha couldn't take it anymore, the villagers cries, each cry that he hears, tears him up more and more, because he knows it's his fault.
The hanyou leaps off the roof of the hut and races into the forest, running as quickly as he can. He crashes through branches that block his path, scaring all the wildlife he passes. Inuyasha isn't sure where he's going, everything around him seems like a blur as he passes by. When he finally does stop, he finds that he's at the Bone Eater's Well.
With his breath labored, Inuyasha sits down on the cold wet grass, leaning his back against the well. For the longest time, Inuyasha just sat there, watching as fireflies began to come out into the night. The small glowing insects flying around in their own mystical dance. The light of their body went on and off, as if it was in tune which their heart beats. Inuyasha had always thought that the fireflies were like the stars in the sky. Small and bright. If Inuyasha could just reach out and grab a star he'd find himself holding a firefly.
He remembers running through the fields as a child, trying to catch the fireflies, wanting to be able to hold a star in his hand. It was much harder than it seemed, one moment you could see the light of the bug, the next, the light would go out and the bug would disappear, only to reappear somewhere else in the darkness. He can recall sitting up on a hill, starring up at the star filled sky with the whole group, the fireflies seemed to fly all around them. They spent every night together like that before turning in. Each worrying about the future ahead of them, never worrying about the present.
Inuyasha however, had finally realized. Now is what is important. He should worry about the future when it comes. Because if you don't worry about now than it'll pass before you can do something about it. Right now, it's too late for Kagome. She's gone. No more star gazing with her and the rest of the group, no more girl from the future to bring back ramen, no more incarnation of Kikyo, no more sits, lectures, priestesses. No more pressure for him to choose between her and Kikyo.
Inuyasha doesn't want it all to go away. All that stuff has become a part of his every day life. Without it, where will his life go? What will he do now? Hunting for shards will be harder now that he's alone. With Kagome gone, the rest of the group is gone. Who will stay by his side now? Who?
Inuyasha's ears perk up in caution at the sound of a twig snapping. The hanyou lifts his head up, scarring a firefly off his nose in the process. His gaze lands on the demon exterminator he had long since considered a friend. Her form glowing under the moon's silver glow. Her tears gone, having finally run out. She's no longer in her traveling kimono, having gotten into her slayers outfit. Her giant boomerang is hefted up on her shoulder.
Inuyasha is pretty sure she isn't there to check on him. Inuyasha gives a sad excuse of a smile as he wipes his tears away; not having realized he was crying until now. "Come to kill me Sango?" He asks cocky. His gaze hardens, "Feh, go ahead. I won't stop you. I would of run off if someone didn't come to do it anyway." Inuyasha pushes himself to his feet and turns around, to show her his back, signaling to her that he wasn't going to resist. Crossing his arms over his chest, Inuyasha closes his eyes and waits for his inevitable demise.
Seconds tick by as Inuyasha hears Sango approach, probably deciding that it would be simpler to pierce him through his heart with her katana. Inuyasha's ears twitch as he hears the boomerang hit the ground, he braces himself for the katana that'll surely stab through his chest. He gives a startles jump when he feels Sango's arms wrap around his middle, as she holds him tightly.
Inuyasha could do little than just stand frozen in his place, his heart was pounding a hundred beats a minute, he seriously expected her to kill him. He deserves it, he had killed her best friend, someone she looks to as a sister. And yet she's trying to comfort him. "Inuyasha... It's okay." Sango whispers.
Inuyasha scowls, pulling away from the slayer to turn around to glare hotly at her, "It's okay? It's okay? How can you say it's okay? I killed Kagome? No one will forgive me! I don't expect them to! I'll never forgive myself! I'm a danger to everyone! No one will want to be by my side, the damn monk made that clear! I'm going to have to leave and hunt down that bastard Naraku myself! Feh! I don't even know if I even know if I want to do that anymore! And you tell me it's okay!"
Sango bows her head, glancing up at the infuriated hanyou through her bangs, "That's not true." She replies quietly.
"What?" Inuyasha is on the verge of losing it.
"None of that's true." Sango replies, "You can't control yourself. Your blood took over. There's still people who will still stand by your side, and there's people who forgive you."
"Who?"
"I... I forgave you the instant it happened."
Confusion goes through Inuyasha's mind, "Why? Why would you forgive me for what I did?"
Sango glances down to the ground, trying to choose her words carefully, "A long time ago..." Sango begins, "I told Miroku that I would stay by your side, whether you chose to become a full demon, a human, or remain the same. With that choice I excepted you fully, your faults, and anything that could possibly happen. I know you don't have any control when you lose control of your blood, I know you will probably never forgive yourself..." Sango lifts her head up, meeting Inuyasha's gaze, "But.. that doesn't mean that I can't forgive you."
Inuyasha's ears flatten to his head as the guilt weighs heavily at his heart. His eyes watch Sango's hand cautiously as she raises it up to rest on his cheek, her eyes still glimmering with new tears that have yet to be spilt, "So don't leave us Inuyasha. If I can forgive you, other can."
"I killed Kagome:" Inuyasha shouts, knocking Sango's hand off his face. "It doesn't matter whether I didn't know what I was doing or not. It doesn't matter if Naraku had control over me, or if I did it on my own free will. I killed Kagome! Losing control of my demon blood is just a poor ass excuse! I have no right to show my face around here. I'm not going to endanger you, Miroku, or any-" Inuyasha takes a surprised step back, his eyes wide in surprise as he stands there now frozen as Sango wraps her arms around his neck, continuing to press her lips to his.
Sango doesn't care what it seems like she's doing, or cares what people may think. All she knows is when Inuyasha began lowering her to the ground, and returning her gesture, that she'd try to help him. Help him heal, help him forget about the guilt, about the pain, about anything. Sango wanted to help in anyway she could, to try and stop Inuyasha from leaving them. She knew what she was getting into. She knew what went will go on between them will not be the product of love, or even lust. What it is simply, is a need. A need to escape reality, to escape everything that has happened. Sango willing allowed everything, in hopes that Inuyasha would stay.
The ravens will always gather near the deceased, and the fireflies will continue to glow throughout the nights. Something's never change. The same can be said for Inuyasha's guilt. It'll always be there. When Sango wakes up in the morning. She'll find that Inuyasha had still left the group, leaving everything behind so he could forever be lost in his guilt, and sorrow, because something's are impossible to change. No matter how hard we try.
That's it everyone! Hope you enjoyed this One-Shot... And if not? (Shrugs) Oh well, I was attempting something different. Whether you liked it or not, leave a review, and let me know my strong points and weak points so I can improve my writing.