"Dad!"

I never understood it.

"Young master, no!"

"Why?" I would ask myself.

Jii Kounosuke's hands clamped firmly onto nine-year-old Kuroba Kaito's shoulders as the boy attempted to dash back into the burning performance hall.

"Why did this happen?"

"Let go of me, Jii-chan!" Kaito snapped and struggled to break away from the grasp of his father's friend. "My dad's still in there!"

Dad had performed that trick dozens of times without a problem.

However, Jii refused to let go. "I'm sorry, young master, but I promised that I would keep you safe," he replied quietly but firmly. "I won't break my promise."

There should have been no reason for the machine to explode and start that huge fire.

The banner that had so proudly announced Kuroba Toichi's performance that night fluttered slowly to the ground like a burnt butterfly, its black markings being devoured by the fire as the inferno's flames roared around it. The treacherous wind blew embers and ashes towards Kaito, Jii, and the anxious crowd behind them. Sweat trickled down everybody's faces because of the blistering blast of air, and sirens wailed in the distance.

I can sometimes feel the heat of the flames on my face even now, but…

A crackling snap shot through the air as the final support beam collapsed in a shower of embers, and Kaito stopped struggling and stared in silent shock at the blazing remnants of the hall and of the stage where his father had stood only moments before.

…that night, something inside of me kind of… froze, I guess. Sometimes, I still feel like I haven't fully thawed out.

Choking on both tears and smoke, Jii dragged the blank-faced boy back as the firemen finally arrived. The firemen immediately went to work to put out the blaze and to check if any survivors were still trapped in the burning building.

Dad always used to say: "The stage is much like a warzone. You must read others minds as if they were textbooks…

Kaito picked up on the crowd's murmurings, and some small part of him felt proud when he overheard a well-known magician who had been in the crowd praise how well Toichi read the crowd's reactions and adjusted his performance accordingly.

"The essence of the heart is the most prominent ingredient of success. Focus on your show…

One of Toichi's female fans choked out, "If he doesn't… you know… at least he went doing something he seemed to love to do."

"and…

While Jii called Toichi's wife, Chikage, who had remained at home to recover from a cold, the son of the now-deceased magician—he couldn't see how anybody could have survived that fire—instinctively slipped on what he had been trying to improve for the past two months.

"Never forget your poker face."

The chief fireman approached Jii and Kaito and asked, "Are you related to Kuroba Toichi-san?"

I never considered doing anything, but for the first few days…

"I'm not, but he is," the old man replied and gestured to Kaito. "Is he still…?"

…there were some moments where I…

The fire chief shook his head. "I'm sorry. When we found him on the stage, he was already gone."

…almost wished that I had died that night with Dad.

With his worst fears confirmed, the nine-year-old boy's first imperfect poker face shattered, and tears fell to the ground at his feet as the firemen doused the last sparks of Kuroba Toichi's final performance.

But Mom and Aoko still needed me, and when I finally told Inspector Nakamori, he hit me on the head and proceeded to yell at me for ten minutes straight about how stupid I was being and how my dad wouldn't have wanted me to die so young. Nakamori's methods were blunt and painful but very effective.

The room fell silent towards the end of Kuroba Toichi's funeral service. A few weeks had passed since the fire, and the police had since concluded that the explosion had been an accident caused by faulty wiring. After about a minute of silence, Kaito gave his mother a comforting hug, walked over towards one of multiple large flower arrangements, and proceeded to pull a hidden string and push a small button on the leaf of a fake flower lurking within the arrangement. Within seconds, fake flowers in most of the arrangements were squirting water on the guests and confetti was raining down from the ceiling, released by the string.

I realized that Dad would have wanted me to keep moving and to stay optimistic…

The surprised expressions on the guests' faces sent Kaito into a fit of infectious laughter, and the entire room started laughing at the people around them or at least smiling at Kaito's antics.

…so I figured he would appreciate a proper send-off.

The prankster gazed up at the ceiling, letting his drenched hair fall over his eyes, and he smiled as drops of water rolled down his face.

I love you, Dad.

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion" – Truvy, Steel Magnolias