D. Gray Man
The Unabridged
Fanfiction
By : TheHeroOfChaos
Date Started : 12/15/2010
Introduction : It was the beginning years of the 1800s in London. There were many mysterious deaths and disappearances were occurring, more often not…without a single trace. Many of the London citizens were claiming different theories with some worse than others. They would continue until one man….or boy who still is going through puberty. Can this boy be the answer and stop the disappearing acts or would he also become one that would be sucked into a disappearance. This is his story….the story of Allen Walker….
*Author's Note : First chapter won't be very funny since I haven't done anything like it and only one major character is in*
Narrator : This is was a major time of crisis of London. Many police officers were struggling with different citizens because their loved ones would keep disappearing. However, enough with that. Our hero, Allen Walker is sitting down on a bench, waiting for his train to come. Sitting along side of him…was his cat…um….Mystery.
Allen Walker : Wait! That's not his name! That is way too popular. I was wondering….can I choose his name?
Narrator : Okay…what do you think would work?
Allen Walker : Hmmm…..he is rather big….how about….Garfield?
Narrator : Wouldn't that be copyright?
Allen Walker : No…..because Garfield will be invented in a couple of hundred years from now. So….I want Garfield!
Narrator : …Fine. It doesn't really matter. That cat will have no real role in this remake. So….Allen Walker was sitting down along with Myst…Garfield waiting for a train.
Allen Walker : Wait….just sitting down is kind of boring. How about you give me a boombox to listen to cool songs?
Narrator : But this is the 1800s….they don't even exist. How in the world….
Allen Walker : Either the boom box, or I'm quitting this early.
Narrator : He was sitting down….listening to his boombox….how in the hell that is possible, I don't know….but he was.
Allen Walker : *sitting down on bench waiting for train* ….Since the narrator won't give you a real important role in this, I will give you one Garfield. You will press the play button and what not.
Garfield : *barks*
Narrator : It just ***king barked! What the hell?
Allen Walker : DO NOT QUESTION GARFIELD!
Narrator : Whatever….let's continue with this madness….
Allen Walker : …okay….Garfield….I have the perfect song while we wait for the train. Disc two, track seven. It's a catchy tune…
Garfield : *barks*
Allen Walker : I'm too sexy for my love…to sexy for my love….love love is going to leave…..I'm too sexy for my shirt….
Garfield : *curious look and barks again*
Narrator : After about an hour or two, the train arrives and Allen Walker gets on…what….? Taking off his shirt…slowly in front of everyone….and everyone is staring at him. ANYHOW…..not too far away from London, there was another disappearance of the local hooker in a church. The police chief sat down and talked with two of his officers about what they should do about it.
Police Chief : Alright! Listen up! You! Drop down and give me fifty!
Charles : What? ….fifty…?
Police Chief : GET ON THE DAMN GROUND AND TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!
Charles : Yes sir! *gets on all fours with shirt off*
Police Chief : *pretends to milk Charles like a cow" Moo for me bitch! Moo like a cow!
Charles : *crying* …Mooooo! *continues to cry*
Moore : *sighs* Sir…if we can please continue. We have another disappearance in the church. May I suggest that we go down and look around? Maybe we can find something or someone…..
Police Chief : No! I mean yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! ….Yes! *continues to get an argument with himself while still milking Charles* ….Yes! No! Yes! Why you! *punches himself* Damn you bitch! *kicks himself in the groin!* Ah! You cheap shot bastard! *Tackles himself, releasing Charles*
Charles : Come on Moore! Now's our chance to get out of here!
Moore : But he didn't give us any orders.
Charles : I'm getting tired of being milked all the time! Let's go!
*Both Charles and Moore run out the building and making their way to the church*
Narrator : The streets were rather quiet and dark, not a lot of activity going on because everyone was still rather scared of the unknown disappearing. After a good hour or so, they finally arrived at the church where the hooker was seen last.
Charles : Okay….since we have no real important roles in this anime, I suggest we split up. You never know what's going to happen and I want to make sure you don't see anything so you won't a witness to my disappearing here in a few minutes. Okay?
Moore : Ummm…okay….
Narrator : So they gave each other a nod and shake hands like a gang member would with his homie. Finally they go in different directions looking for clues. Moore goes upstairs and Charles stays downstairs.
Charles : Damn police chief….milking me constantly. I'm not a fucking cow….
*Suddenly, a loud crash appears*
Charles : What was that? *Runs and looks where the crash occurred and sees a giant floating being* Who are you?
? : Errrrr…..
Charles : Who…?
?: Errrr…..
Charles : I'm sorry….one more time?
?: ERRRRRrrrr!
Charles : Oh! Your name is….Errrrr. *gives the look of a mental person and laughing* Say, I've never seen you before?
? : Hungry….I want your soul!
Charles : But it's mine. You can't have it.
Police Chief : *In distance* CHARLES!
Charles : Oh shit! You know what? Fuck it! Take it! I don't wanna get milked again!
Narrator : Meanwhile….Allen Walker is sitting down in a chair in the church listening too…god…I really don't even wanna know…
Allen Walker : *listening to the Beer Song* BEER! Can't give enough! Beer! I can kiss it and chug it! BEER! I can't remember how much I have had….*burps* Drink with your family, drink it with your friends! Drink it till you get fat!
Moore : Who…who are you? *taking out gun*
Allen Walker : *Didn't hear her* Beer!
Moore : Beer…?
Allen Walker : Beer! Beer! Beer!
Moore : Are you….mentally insane…?Allen Walker *still listening to music and not seeing Moore* I really could use a beer!
Moore : *notices he has earplugs on. Goes and takes them off* Who are you?
Allen Walker : Oh…pretty lady. My name is Walker…
Moore : Like Walker Texas Ranger?
Allen Walker : Who? …No….Allen Walker. Doer of good! Destroyer of evil! Feared by everyon-
Moore : Whatever…I just wanted your name.
Allen Walker : Oh sorry….sort of just got into the mood…
Moore : Yeah…I it can happen to everyone.
Allen Walker : What's your name pretty lady?
Moore : Moore….just Moore….
Allen Walker : Wow…can I call you Janet?
Moore : No!
Allen Walker : Okay Shirely…
Moore : What? Whatever….what are you doing here in a spooky old broken down church?
Allen Walker : I don't know Yuri…
Moore : My god…you aren't very bright are you?
Allen Walker : I'm very smart as a matter of fact Tiffany. Anyhow, let me introduce to you my cat….Garfield.
Garfield : *barks*
Moore : It barks like a dog….
Allen Walker : Do not question Garfield Lulu!
Moore : Its…*teary eyed* ….Moore….
*A loud crash sound and Charles screaming*
Allen Walker : Oh no! There here! Let's go check it out! Garfield! Disc Three Track One! Now!
Garfield : *Barks and presses play.*
Narrator : They slowly make their way down listening to….oh come on! Ghostbusters theme song?
Moore : ….What in the world is that?
Allen Walker : *creeping down stairs* Something strange….in the neighborhood….who you gonna call? Allen Walker! *dances to music every few seconds*
Moore : I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots and morons. I better get raise out of this…!
Narrator : They quickly see a big flash of light and Charles getting sucked into a being.
Charles : Errr…..at least….I won't.,…be….milked again…. *Slowly hears Police Chief wanting to make him in his mind* Hurry the fuck up Errrrr….!
Allen Walker : Oh no! It's an Akuma! We need to get out of here Joyce!
Akuma : Errrr!
Moore : Its….MOORE!
Allen Walker : Garfield! Quickly, track seven!
Garfield : *barks and presses play*
Boombox : Which backstreet boy is gay….!
Allen Walker : No! Wrong one! That's six!
Akuma : ….Err…..
Boombox : *Jaws Theme song playing*
Allen Walker : That'll work! Come on! Let's go! *grabs Moore's hand and runs out with Garfield looking at them with pitiful eyes*
Garfield : Meow….!
Allen Walker : Oh crap! *Jaws theme still playing as Akuma comes closer to the cat. Allen grabs the cat and runs*
END OF PART 1 CHAPTER 1